Kit, awesome that you decided to write something inspired by this. Though you're outside the official tournament, I'll take a look at it and give my thoughts soon.
And now, my thoughts on the entries.
My official votes are behind spoiler tags at the bottom of each section!Aeyer (Trask) Vs ZeZe (Geary)
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I generally liked both these submissions. They both have their strong and weak points. Let's take a look at Geary's first.
First, I like the silliness at the beginning of yours, Geary. You integrate your character's intro with the beginning here, and poke fun at this loose tournament setting rules. That's quite all right.
(Just FYI, first name is Kendo. Virmir actually is the last name.
)
ZeZe is probably the most original character here with that odd flying sail thing, but still holds pretty close to what little we've seen of Fens in the comic, with the messenger aspect and all. I like this as well.
Your submission unfortunately has a few typos in it. Nothing horrible, but you had three weeks to look this thing over. You could have done better.
Word flow is all right. Not spectacular, but I get a pretty clear image of what's going on. No problems there.
The conflict and resolution is an interesting one here...
First of all, I don't really like the way you treated Trask's character. On one hand, it is a cool twist that you made the whole spirit thing presented in Aeyer's intro a fake. This really could have been a great little story here, but you didn't develop it nearly enough. Okay, so Aeyer is possessed by a fake Cirr which makes him act like a total jerk and have powers of darkness instead of the wind stuff mentioned in Aeyer's intro. We're left to draw this conclusion entirely on our own simply because it totally clashes with Aayer's intro. We don’t see any of Aayer's personality here at all. Why not have him struggle with the fake Cirr? Why not have him help ZeZe battle the fake Cirr after it is librated from his body? That way we could have at least seen some of the stuff presented in Aayer's intro. As it is, you don't draw anything from what Trask wrote in his intro at all, which hurts this submission.
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On the flipside, Trask, I find Aeyer rather likable. He's the well meaning innocent type, which while not terribly original, is hard not to find a soft spot for.
I know you did get permission from Cirr to use his character, but I'm wondering if you had a misunderstanding or something. I know Cirr did not manage to finish the intro, but he did give basic information about Cirr coming to Virmir and starting the tournament. It seems to me that you would have presented at least a hint of this in your character's intro or somewhere during your submission. It seems to me a totally different Cirr than what Cirrulean wrote about, and I can totally see why Geary took this a step further with fake Cirr plot.
(Then again maybe you had different ideas of your own you were just waiting for the right moment to spring on us. ;))
You do have a fair amount of intro before the battle, which is good, but it's just his experiences before the match-- doesn't really add a whole lot to the story or show us anything new about the character.
The battle itself isn't bad. A nice flow of action. I had to reread a few sentences to make sure I understood what was going on, but nothing glaring, really. Unlike Geary's submission, you do manage to write in ZeZe's abilities more closely to what was presented in his intro. Credit there.
All-in-all, this isn't a bad job, Trask. Apart from Cirr being a little out of place, there's nothing glaringly wrong with this submission.
Problem is, it's fairly formulaic and doesn't really pop out at me. Geary's just seems a bit more interesting and entertaining. It's pretty close, and Geary definitely could have done a better job, but I still think I'm going to have to go with his.
Virmir's Vote: ZeZe (Geary)---------------------------------------------
Banelure (Zavier) Vs. Ezctal (Anter)
Okay, so obviously Anter dropped out and Zavier gets a free ride, but you did put effort into writing this, Zav, so here are my thoughts.
Over all, this is a bare minimal submission. It's not bad really-- you show that you read and understood Anter's character, then compared his powers with your own character's. The fight is short, but it is described well enough and you give Ezctal some credit and not make him a pushover.
The problem is, it's just the fight and that's it. Nothing really surprising or interesting happens during the course of it. It's all just as expected. In the next match, try and think of a little sub-plot to get going on the side, or perhaps some character development-- something new that helps build your character (or your opponent's character!) a bit more instead of just describing the battle. Will give you a much higher shot at winning. You have three weeks, so spend a little time every day working on it and build something awesome. Good luck!
Virmir's Vote: Banelure (Zavier) ------------------------------------------
Bedisa (Medik) Vs. Greg (Donnie)
Okay, now THIS is a good match.
First of all, in my opinion, Medik is the stronger writer. On the other hand, Donnie has THE COMIC. This is a close call here. Let's take a look.
I really like Bedisa as a character. She's smart, not overly trusting, cautious, likes to fight but doesn't want to kill... she just seems really down to earth and realistic to me. I really like how you have her treat Greg like a kid, Medik, and I can tell you paid attention to Greg's powers and background. You write the both of them really well, and really this is a good matchup. You even delve into Greg's backstory a bit before the battle. Very nice!
That said... she does try to drown the poor kid pretty coldly. But she does heal him, so still fits.
The battle has a number of high points, and I do think you have the best written battle of all the entries. It just flows really nicely. I recall reading some of your past written work and compared to your old stories, I am seeing a marked improvement here.
Plot-wise, it is pretty basic, and like many others there's nothing really surprising here. Granted, it's early in the tournament, and the buildup before the battle along with a few twists during the fight pretty much make up for this.
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Switching gears and taking a look at Donnie's, I do like how you pick up right where you left off in your character intro. Your writing style isn't too bad in this first part, but Greg gets thrown into the battle really quickly with no direction at all. The written portion just barely suffices as an intro to the comic. Not terrible, since the comic is your main draw, but a little development would have been cool.
But taking a look at that comic... Eeeee~! *loves it*
Okay, I won't take a look at artistic ability, since that's not quite fair in a tournament like this.
I will be looking at execution and style, though. And blast, did you nail it.
First of all, Donnie, you tend to struggle with dialogue. Some of your other comics have had this problem. You can see a bit of forcedness in the introductory written section even. The dialogue in this comic though... well, it's much improved! You missed the second apostrophe around 'just a kid' on page 2, but that's it, really. It flows nicely with all the panels and expressions, and none of the speech bubbles obstruct anything. Nice job!
Action-wise, I can tell what is happening in each panel clearly, and you don't do any jumps or skip anything that leaves me wondering how to connect the dots. The facial expressions are fantastic. And the story, short as it is, fits nicely in two pages and is the type of silly cartooniness that I love. (You even throw in a blatant Dragon Ball Z reference.
) Furthermore, you portray both Greg's and Besida's personalities wonderfully. I particularly love how Greg looks like a total doofus when not transformed.
This matchup here was a bit of an unfortunate placement so early. I would have liked to have seen both Medik and Donnie face off against some of the other contestants first. I'm fairly confident that both of you would have prevailed and advanced when compared to many of the other entries this round to fight against each other later in the tournament instead of in the first round. Unfortunately I must choose one. Medik, you did a fantastic job, and your entry is probably my second favorite out of all the submissions this round. However, Donnie's comic just blows me away, and he is my pick for this match.
Virmir's Vote: Greg (Donnie) ------------------------------------------
Tjin (Tai) Vs. Red (Alias)
So, Alias obviously passes by way of no-show from Tai. Tai did not bother to check in to give us a heads-up, unlike Anter, so he shall be heckled if/when he comes around again.
Red seems the basic mysterious character, Alias, though I can tell you plan on developing him more.
We did not get quite the development I would have liked in your entry though. All-in-all, it's a pretty straightforward battle that shows off his abilities with nothing really surprising revealed, except his finishing move makes me raise my brow a bit. I am interested in seeing where you're going with the exploding-disappearing ball thing (while keeping in mind the "no deaths" rule
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That said, I love your writing style, Alias. It's always a pleasure to read anything by you, and this entry was no exception. While very nicely done, I do suggest you add a bit more plot next time around, as a simple battle-only might not be enough if your next opponent actually shows up. (Granted, I know you were on a trip when you wrote this. You still had three weeks though, but banged it out in a few hours, as I recall.
)
Virmir's Vote: Red (Alias) 
