-
Hello everyone!
Here's the project I was preparing!
A Crimson Flag Themed Original Character Tournament!
So first, what is a OC tournament?
A OC tournament is an art contest... and a roleplay game.
This kind of event can be found on DA and some of them are really famous like the "Endzone" tournament and the "Law of Talos" tournament.
Each player choose a OC and make him fight against other player, following a scenario planned by the creator of the event.
The basis scenario is pretty vague and it's up to the players to make it going on.
How the battle are made?
The tourney uses a round system. At each round, players have to fight against a contender in 1vs1 fights.
Each player submits a artwork, depending of the rules of the tournament. Once everyone is done, the judges select the winners and the second round begins... and so on..
Judging critters.
The submission are judged on three point:
Skills: 15%
Originality : 35%
Storyline suggested: 50%
The judges are impartial. They have to explain their choices everytime with good arguments.
So, even if you don't feel confident on your skills, try, you could possibly win.
The winner of the tournament will be the player that will make the best story out of the basis scenario.
Submissions and characters.
Submission have to be done and posted before the deadline. If not the player is considered as losing the battle.
Please keep the PG policy
Characters have to be fitting the CF universe.
Each player need to post a reference sheet before starting the tournament.
Simple rules that have to be followed :
-No godmoding
-No deaths
-Have fun.
Judges for this tournament are Virmir, Tvorsk and me.
Now, to the basis scenario.
-The Aether sword-
http://img833.imageshack.us/f/aethersword.png/
Cirr, wind spirit, appeared to the well know mage, Virmir, with bad news.
He felt disturbances in the world's equilibrium... darkness are rising... and something terrible is going to happen soon...
He asked Virmir to hire heroes from all the 4 Reyns, to try to find the legendary Aether Sword, a powerful but long lost weapon.
According to the legend, the sword appears only to the bravest hero who will be able to wield it and save the world from all threat that may appears.
Time is running out... the tournament for the Aether sword begins...
Who will be the Aether wielder?
Who will be the new hero of a world?
About Cirr.
http://img138.imageshack.us/img138/9526/cirri.png
Cirr is a wind spirit who takes the appearance of a bunny. He may follow some players but won't interfer on battles.
The playground.
All the 4 Reyns
How do I fight?
You have to do something, a drawing, writing, anything that describe your battle against your opponent.
Of course in a case of a comic or a writing, for example, you have to show your character as the winner... but only in a clever way.
The story line that your submission sugest is the main judging critter.
The only limit is your imagination.
Battle places will be given regarding the characters who are fighting by the judges.
What you can do if you loose.
If you loose a match, you have the choice of retiring completly of the tournament, or you can stay but as a "spectator". You can still devellop side stories following the main plot.
Of course you can't pretend anymore to the finals or prizes, and if you're staying as a spectator, you can't interfere in the matches of the remaining players.
However you can interact with other spectators.
Here again, the only limit is your imagination.
Make something great and have fun!
Submission media.
Everything is accepted. It just needs to be finished. (Comic,drawing,writing, painting...etc)
Prize for the winner:
The winner of the tournament will receive a full colored request from me.
Well, that's all... I hope you'll have fun as I had when creating the tourney.
If you have any questions, ask, I'll try to answer the best I can.
-
Hey folks,
I figured I should clarify a few things. [:)
First, this is Cirr's project. He's the main contact for this so if I screw up something below, take his word over mine. I've only grasped the vague concept so far. [;)
This isn't an art contest. You can submit art. You may do better with a comic though. Or maybe a short story/descriptive scene. Or heck, poetry or music or something weird. I can't speak for the other two judges, but my main factor in judging pieces is going to be how amused/interesting it is over skill level.
I'm not 100% on what entries are going to look like. I've seen a few on Deviant Art, but I think I'm going to let Cirrulean explain things a bit more on that regard.
Cirrulean, perhaps you and I can have a "practice battle" as an example? [;)
World Info
Okay, this is an area I can actually provide some detail for. [;) This is a *very* loosely Crimson Flag-themed setting. There is a lot more to the setting that has not been presented in comics yet and I don't really intend to give spoilers as to what hasn't been shown yet. While I will be more pleased with entries that hold to the comic, it's okay if you stretch things a bit.
Races
You can pick one of the four primary races shown in the comic thus far. These are only loose guidelines about character races, and characters don't have to stick to these stereotypes.
Red Reyn: The most versatile, varied, and adaptable of all Reyn. Reds tend to be well-rounded, and pursue a large variety of trades.
Gray Reyn: Typically a bit smaller than the Reds. Grays that pursue magical fields tend to be a bit stronger with magic than reds on average, being more "innate" with the craft as opposed to learning it in a structured manner. However, they tend to be more focused on a specific element. Non-magic users can also be quite capable melee fighters. Grays tend to stay away from complex machinery and the like, and prefer natural settings.
Snow Reyn: Snows tend to be mechanics, engineers, inventors, and the like. They are generally a reclusive bunch, although some have realized the potential profits in trading their inventions with other Reyn and have taken up merchanthood.
Fen: A desert faring race, Fen are tiny compared to other Reyn. Little is known about their culture beyond the few that have given up their tough lifestyles to settle in the lusher regions of Vandaria (where Caerryen, the Auberwood, etc. reside). These Fen tend to be meek and subservient.
-
Okay, I have to say this sounds interesting to me, but I don't really understand what it entails.
I'm probably not gonna' take part, this one. Mind if I just observe?
-
Okay, I have to say this sounds interesting to me, but I don't really understand what it entails.
I'm probably not gonna' take part, this one. Mind if I just observe?
You should ask Cirru for more details then, instead of simply letting this pass because you didn't understand it fully with the available information :/
-
Ah. Sorry for the confusion. Allow me to clarify.
I'm just going to observe this one, in order to gain a better understanding of what it entails, since I won't be taking part anyway, because I've got too much to do, already.
Again, sorry 'bout the misunderstanding.
-
Update
So with Cirr's permission, I am going to be offering a second place prize as a doodle myself. It will be a standard fare, colored single character drawing. [:)
Also, please note that Cirrulean has set the cutoff date for signing up as Wednesday, April 6th!
Cirr and I will be working on an introduction soon to help people understand what's going on here and to provide an example to look at. [:)
-
Alright, I might as well get the first character up.
Banelure is a red reyn that grew up with a working-class family in Caerreyn. When he was only a teenager, he and his parents were attacked. His parents died, but Banelure survived despite getting slashed in the back. Not long afterwards he left Caerreyn and became a vigilante, travelling throughout Vandaria and doing what he can to prevent what happened to him from happening to others. Recently during his travels, he heard that a mage is looking for heroes to fight in a tournament for the Aether Sword. He has been told the Aether Sword only exists in legends and tales, but despite his skepticism, he has decided to enter the tournament as well. He knows that, with the power of the Aether Sword, he could likely stop all crime in Vandaria.
Banelure wears dark red leather armor on his torso and legs (which also hides the scar he has on his back), along with brown boots on his footpaws. Banelure himself rarely speaks to anyone, which tends to get on a lot of people's bad sides. During a fight, he keeps focused and serious. He's learned that silliness or cockiness will get you killed. His weapon of choice is a double-bladed halberd, with which he makes heavy slashes and jabs. His strengths are close-range combat and heavy strikes. His weaknesses are long-range combat and pursuit, which is one of the reasons he doesn't like an opponent that runs.
Alright, that should be it. If there's any more info you need, just tell me.
Edit: Donnie drew this picture of Banelure, in case anyone needs a visual reference. (http://img833.imageshack.us/img833/6859/cftourneychars.jpg)
-
A well-off alchemist living in Caerreyn, Johannes Kemm (that's Doctor Johannes Kemm) is a Snow Reyn who moved to Caerreyn to perform experiments and sell his potions (he prefers the term "prescribe tonics"). His little shop not far from the gates is a family business, with his wife usually bottling the "tonics" and everybody helping with customers. His son has quite a bit of experience in the shop, and has already begun studying as his apprentice. He uses the proceeds from his shop, after providing for his family of course, to fund his "research", looking for predictability in the universe, what he calls "natural laws". In practice, this often means creative though somewhat reckless experiments. The academy considers the idea ludicrous of course, as everyone knows that the world runs on magic, but they tolerate him so long as he doesn't cause too much fuss and his research into applied magic pays off.
He specializes in item usage, his coat, which will be covered later, allows him to carry a large number of items ranging from common rope, to tonics or strange gadgets. He has very little in the way of innate magic, relying instead on magitech based on power crystals, similar to the ones found in airships. He doesn't have the strength to hold his own in hand-to-hand combat, but he is surprisingly agile.
As is typical for a Snow Reyn, his thick coat of white fur has no markings at all. He has a slender frame, though his fur puts his appearance closer to average, and stands just a little shorter than most Reyn. For the most part he wears common clothes, not wishing to identify himself as a mage (and just as well, for the academy has no wish to associate with him) a simple brown shirt with gray pants held in place by a darker brown belt. His most remarkable feature is a long white coat that he wears, with many pockets both inside and out. The result of one of his more unusual magitech experiments, the L.A.B. coat's numerous pockets use a contained seven-dimensional spatial distortion to augment their storage capacity by several orders of magnitude while completely avoiding the weight of stored objects. In mage's terms, each pocket is enchanted with a pocket dimension spell. In layman's terms, it's a Coat of Holding. He keeps the pockets roughly organized in categories, as due to the nature of the coat he cannot be entirely sure that he will find what he was looking for when he reaches in, but as long as he picks the right pocket it should be somewhat close.
Upon hearing about the Aether Sword, he decided to join the effort to search for it. Such a powerful and long-lost artifact would be of great value! To science of course! Leaving his son/apprentice in charge of the shop, he packed his coat with devices, experiments, tonics, and supplies, and set off to find this Virmir fellow.
EDIT: Updated with a species change, since there aren't any Snow Reyn and this character fits them so well anyway. Also, pictures!
(http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk258/Cyberfoxfinal/GIMP%202/OC-docrichard_small.png)
Hi res (http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk258/Cyberfoxfinal/GIMP%202/OC-docrichard.png)
Disregard the file name, he went through both a name change and a species change during the creation process. :P Also, since the character is mostly white and the background is transparent, the high resolution one may be a little hard to see if your browser's background color is the default white. And yes, he has two arms, the other one is just hard to see with that coat going everywhere. I think compression may have erased that line in the low res one though... should have made it darker. XD The coat has a total of 13 pockets, the inside pockets and lower outside pockets are symmetrical, and the chest pocket makes 13.
-
ZeZe: The Flying Fennec
The desert, a harsh land where few survive water us scarce, and what resources one can find are under strict control. None of this bothered ZeZe; there was a strong wind, and he had a delivery to make to an academy professor in Caerryn. Perfect timing, too! a ship for the arctics was starting to take off. ZeZe was rather broke, however, so he had his own method of travel that let him avoid petty things like 'paying' and 'contributing in improving foreign affairs at the citizen level.' Bah.
About a year prior, one of the arctic's ships got caught in a sandstorm and fell down. One of the goods they were carrying was an interesting device, a small sail that a person could mount and literally fly around on. He's not sure how it works, some kind of magical wind gem or something, but he found that a few drops of cactus juice makes it perform much better.
ZeZe ran up to a tall sand dune and unfolded his contraption. It was patched up here and there, but it worked just as well as the day he got it. "Hmm... they're flying low and slow, so they're probably about to raise altitude." He mumbled to himself. "Now or never!" The fennec lept off the dune, falling rapidly. A moment before he hit the ground, he pressed a button on the sail, and flew swiftly to the shop, keeping his ears dwon to lessen wind resistance. He quickly gained on the ship, adjusting the sail to put his course parallel with the ship, mere inches from collision.
"Now, for the hard part." The desert winds don't last long, and the foreset winds are abysmal. ZeZe would have to find a hole, or at least a loose board, on the airship to grip onto with a hook he kept on person, fastlen the hook to his belt, and fold up his sail before the ship started raising or the winds died down. Luckily, this ship was old, and there was a hole near his current location, allowing him to get fastened and fold up his sail well before the ship rose. From there, it was smooth sailing to the Caerryn. Kinda boring really, it seemed like nothing interesting would happen to him between now and his return home, unless it involved him risking his life on something he really shouldn't have gotten involved in in the first place. Sadly for him, the latter was correct.
-
Greg: The Soul Searcher
-Warning, deliberate storytelling approaching, bear with me please!-
A dark warp unseen in westward nights and winds, mystery fulminate; the creature awakens. His name, so he believes, is Gregory. Mind torn, soul demolished by unseen and unthinkable horrors. He remembers a house of wood and... darkness everywhere. He remembers an infinite pain and the visions of his life ripped away from him. But he's here now, without pain of the physical but the trauma remains.
Golden eyes shine bright in the sun of the forest as he steps into the open and his neutral gray fur, neither fitting or clashing with the colors around him, flutters softly in the wind. A child. Gregory is a gray reyn kit. Donned only in the most modest of garments, he traveled aimlessly for what would be weeks. He never kept track of time save for the days of the weeks. Nor does he ever get hungry, granted he still enjoys the feeling of good filling food. He stops and wonders, "What am I doing...? What was I going to do?"
With a flicker of his mind and thoughts, he suddenly glows a bright red. His dirty garments replaced by a sheen crimson coat reinforced with an impervious chestplate and shoulder pads. In Greg's meager paws rests a bright red sword and lance, both dwarfing his own body in size yet he holds them as if they were children's toys.
"I remember now..." he spoke, "My... home.... home? Yes... home!" he suddenly dashed away, his red garments vanishing off of him and restoring his original dirty outfit. He jumped through trees, sprinted down hundred year old dirt roads, and climbed tall hills... except this hill coming up ended in a frightful drop to the ground. Greg blacked out upon hitting the bottom.
Voices? And light...? Greg slowly opens his eyes and sees... stone? Greg sits up and feels his head, noticing the bandages covering the entirety of his head.
"Quite a fall you had there sir!" said a nurse. She shared much of Greg's gray coloration, but with the addition of rusty orange. A Gray Reyn, "I was afraid you'd be lost to me. Your skull had a nasty fracture."
Not that it matters... Greg remembers how difficult it is for him to... "Oww...." or not... Memory fails him. He remembers extreme pain... then none at all. What would have killed him before only was a minor inconvenience. Or was it just a dream? He shakes his head and gets out of the bed, only to be pulled back into it.
"By Lord Julian you child! You just survived a fall that'd kill any normal reyn! Rest now!" Greg reluctantly concedes with a soft whine. It only took him but mere moments to fall asleep again.
Ride by airship wasn't what he'd expected. Granted, Greg figured it'd probably be the only reasonable way to... "I forgot...!" Greg ran up to the front of the airship past some gray Reyn and jumped off the airship. It took a full six seconds for the Death Evan's crew to register that a child just jumped off the edge. What followed was frightful screams of emergency, all quite humorous to Greg's ears. In a bright green light greg is donned in bright green outfit, marked by geometric shapes and decorations. He reached behind him and pulled a magic carpet from its harness, landing on it in midair and flying off to Caerryn.
Something in Caerryn drew his soul towards it. Something there harbors the key to what he seeks. Something to dull the pain inside? Or some kind of destiny he was sure that'd await him.
After all.... nothing came that easily for him.
_________________________________________________________________________
Gregory is a young Gray Fox (reyn) kit who's recent past is a complete mystery, un-intelligible to the mortal being. All that can be explained is an eternal relm of pain where he 'lost his souls'. Whatever happened to Gregory has infused him with powers through time and space, granting him supreme strength, sly agility, and a sharp perception for each of his forms. However his 'trauma' stripped him of something dear, and it is what he desperately searches for. And a way to return home.
At first glance, Greg's powers are frighteningly formidable along with his incredible endurance and pain threshold makes him a difficult to defeat fighter.... on paper. In truth, Greg is but a child. He's horribly inexperienced, uncertain of himself, prone to despair, and mentally weak. Timid as the most innocent of forest animals, he can't compose himself in battle. When he fights, he tries as hard as he can and prays he can succeed.
(http://img64.imageshack.us/img64/6145/gregcf.png)
(http://img848.imageshack.us/img848/9789/gregcfredsmall.png)
-
(http://filebox.me/files/6jmvgzk0x_SketchPad1Page9.png)
Tijin The Very (very) Heavy Blade-Wielder
-Tijin is a Grey Reyn that usually wanders aimlessly across the planet.
-His attitude is somewhat sardonic. While he may not be necessarily evil, he is far from what would be considered a "Good Samaritan" as he would sooner torment and harass a person rather than help them in any time of need. Due not having very "formal" swordsman ship training, Tijin's attack method is often under-handed (Throwing dirt, "Low-blows", taunts, ect.) and somewhat barbaric at times. Nevertheless, Tijin can be highly adaptable to almost any situation.
-The sword he carries with him is a keepsake from his mentor. Although it is completely blunt ( and therefor *almost* completely void of any killing potential) the sword is infused with a spell that causes the blade to increase in weight by 40x for every 3ft away from its owner. (max 200x)
-
I've read all these and they all look cool. Great stuff, guys. [:)
-
Commonly mistaken for a thief in the Auberwood, Inuri is a traveling almost druidic mage. He has no actual home, however if you ask him he will claim it to be the Auberwood. This may be due to how exactly he came to be a wanderer.
When he was nothing more than a young Reyn, not even five, his parents were returning to the Relran Tree after a business trip. Halfway to their destination, the entire family was jumped by bandits, and Inuri's mother was killed outright. Insticts of survival took over, and Inuri fled into the vast Auberwood, unsure of his father's fate. It was there he developed an innate feel for the power of nature, and the protection of the Auberwood.
While surrounded by the Auberwood's towering trees, Inuri began his training. He based his magic along the elements that surrounded him, on his goal to protect his new home, on the greatest force the world had to offer. Although he still combined that with some fire-based magic his father taught him for self defense, while not powerful, they could trick.
To this day, Inuri is a frequent visitor to the Relran Tree, and is partially considered a part of Gray Reyn society, Although Julian has no power over him. (Unless the right price is given, of course.) Inuri always shows up with a pocket full of money, although no one knows where he gets it. He might make profit selling herbal medicine, and his services as a mercenary, but he's so hard to find, most prefer not to hire him.
Inuri's most used weapon is one he bought off a merchant inventor many years ago. It may look a normal staff from a distance, but it actually has a hidden piece of metal in it, allowing it to change to a scythe, and then a polearm. A recent modification even allows for blade removal to be used as a shortsword. The scythe look tends to frighten people when he wears his tattered and hooded cloak.
Inuri himself is not much of a social person, but will get mixed in a conversation if he find it interesting. His lifestyle has made him very remote to the rest of the world, meaning he rarely knows what's going on in the world. He is not quick to judge, and will resolve things peacefully if he can, although don't expect him to be that way for long, as he is quite the trickster. Once in a fight, he will take every chance he can get to take a swing at you, as unexperienced as those swings may be, with a scythe blade, they can hurt.
Inuri considers himself lucky to have even heard about the Aether sword, almost not missing the telling of it as he was leaving the Relran tree. He nows seeks the mage who is calling out for heroes, if not for just the sword and a possible challenge....
-
well here is my entry for the tournament.
---
Name: Osric
Species: Grey fox.
Primary weapon: short sword.
Secondary weapon: knife.
Armour: buckler shield, leather armour on his torso with mismatched patches of chain mail sewn on, steel vambraces, leather gloves with metal studs on the knuckles.
Appearance: has a lean and sinewy frame, missing the tip of his left ear
Personality: cautious, but a little hot-blooded and stubborn. His time as a soldier taught him discipline, but there are few things he loves more than a good fight.
Fighting style: His preferred style is fast and brutal, close quarters combat.
Strength: melee combat.
Weakness: long range fighting, however he knows some basic magic which he uses to try and get in close to his opponent.
Misc: Osric prefers to travel light in order to keep up his speed and flexibility.
Back story: Osric was born and raised in a small village in a remote region of the Auberwood. He started learning how to fight at an early age, youngsters often fought to pass time and entertain themselves. Knowing how to fight was necessity of life, the village was the target of several raids by Muriden while Osric was growing up. From the day he was old enough to use a sword, he was trained in it’s usage so that he could participate in the defence of his home. At the age of twenty, he became an enlisted soldier and spent the next three years defending the Auberwood. After those three years as a soldier, he began a brief career as a caravan guard, during which he heard rumours of a tournament being held by a mage known as Virmir. Tired of the tedious work guarding caravans, he decided to look into the possibility of joining the tournament, eager for a challenge.
-
(http://i2.photobucket.com/albums/y30/Alias13/Red.png)
This creature, which refers to itself as Red, claims to be a normal Red Reyn deformed by exposure to an unpleasant form of raw magic. It is determined to acquire the sword, but its background and motives are unknown and probably far from pure.
It fights with what it calls sleight of hand, a sort of non-magical trickery that uses incredible dexterity and precision to perform actions that only seem magical, and it is believed to have a strange magic of its own (temporal in nature) which it only uses in dire straits. Its presence appears to have an unusual warping effect on magic in its general vicinity which becomes more pronounced as the magic used grows stronger.
-
Name: Ezctal
Race: Snow Reyn
Age: Unkown: but young.
Weapon: Magic
Armor: Spellshields, evasive tactics.
Story: Ezctal is a snow reyn hailing from a small town found on the outer edges of their lands. Unlike many of his friends, family, and predecessors he showed an ineptitude at technology, selling, and charisma. He was often treated with disdain, having come from a successful merchant family: yet lacking any talent himself.
Distraught from his plight at a young age, Ezctal became a withdrawn Reyn: finding himself at peace only when he was alone. As he aged, he became distant from his family. In his solitude, the young one began to find an interest in knowledge. Using his ability to be unnoticed, the Reyn began to study the one thing he thought he could learn to make a difference: Magic.
Shortly after picking up his first spellbook, the Reyn started to unravel much information: studying spells, mysteries, legends, and applications in secret. Despite his learning however, he could never cast a single spell. Neither a fireball, or a droplet of water could be summoned. The Reyn continued to practice however, becoming more distraught as he started to learn he could have no talent.
As time grew on, and as he grew older, he began to become angry at his ineptitude. He started to become sad at the fact he seemed to be incapable of all things he learned. That is, until he was wandering alone one day. Standing near a cliff to a timeless mountain cliff, he saw a strangely artificial looking cave. Uncaring for his own safety, the small Reyn walked towards it, entering the seemingly welcoming entrance.
As he wandered the dark cave, he cared not about the silence or the darkness that surrounded him. Despite being blind in such darkness, deafened in such silence, and seemingly empty in the dark cavern... he continued to wander. He never walked into a wall, and as time went on even his feet seemed to be walking on nothing. Around him was nothing, and as he wandered in this void: he too began to learn and understand what he was.
Unknown to him at the time, his frustration caused him to create a rift while he walked into that cave: a form of magic old and unnatural to the world. For what seemed like timeless wandering, his life seemed to ebb away. All emotion, all joy, all sadness, frustration, and anger seemed to be torn away into the nothingness. His knowledge however, remained: and without the blinding frustration, with the emptiness around him, he began to understand. His power, his talent was not in reality: but in the absence of it. He could cast no spells for he was the void of them: a cipher or a hole in the magical reality.
This too was why he was unable to be well with people. Despite his seemingly normal appearance, this 'hole' effected his entire life. People subconsciously sensed it and were unsettled by him, including his own family and friends. As time went on, he studied much in the void: manipulating and controlling the powers around him for what seemed like an eternity.
After learning much, he soon realized that despite his love and addiction to the void around him: he was not a creature of it. He was a being of his reality, and he would soon have to return to his world. Utilizing his new found knowledge, he took and tore a new rift: reappearing at the cave he found what seemed many years ago.
He returned to his home to find it much changed, and that more time than he believed had passed. Centuries he had been locked in the void: a place where time was seemingly warped. His time there however, was not wasted. The small Reyn had powers beyond the knowledge of many mages, being able to form holes in reality, absorb the magic an life around him, and even 'dislocate' the attacks of something physical. He cannot warp reality, as his power may seem: only remove to a new world.
He can however, take something from the warp back out: so if that arrow you shot seemed to disappear... it may return later!
I wrote this while very tired, very late, and slightly quickly as I decided I would finally join in on the contest. I hope I'm doing everything ok and that this character meets the rules. Any necessary changes or additional information can be added. (And if any artist is willing to do a sketch of him for me, I would deeply appreciate it ._.)
EDIT: Ezctal is a mage fighter, with little to no fighting experience: but a vast wealth of knowledge on magic. He has a good understanding of how to fight magic: making such an approach very difficult to utilize due to his ability to negate and 'return' projectile based spells. Physical combat is highly effective, due to the lack of physical strength and speed: however, his magic is incredibly dangerous up close. Early on he is simply a powerful mage with highly direct damage based ability: he's also highly immobile, but has powerful defensive shields. If your attacks are too obvious (charging) he can completely negate it, even if its physically based.
Quick, physically based attacks and ranged physically based attacks are highly effective.
As a forewarning, armor has little effect against his magic due to its nature, but at the same time any projectile based is slow moving.
-
The Snow Reyn Veseris Hashrim was born 39 years ago in the village of Kushventh to his parents Berem and Zyfel, the youngest of three children (his brother Yeforr six years older than him and his sister Aariq three years older), his father supporting the family by working as an accountant for the Demorei Trading Consortium, a “trading monopoly” had positioned itself as the sole source of traded goods and authority in the whole Mowb Valley region. Neither very poor nor very rich, Veseris grew up in a more or less normal family, and was close to all of them.
Berem and Zyfel did their best to raise their children equally with as little favoritism as possible, but Yeforr was always on the border of insubordination and was constantly stubborn and rebellious, leading to his parents to focus much of their efforts on him as opposed to the younger two. Aariq primarily tried to stay out of the way and concentrate on her own childhood and subsequent friends, but Veseris was one who mostly tagged alongside his parents. He was never the most outgoing of individuals, and when he did try to interact with children his own age he found himself very awkward socially; whenever on the rare occasions where he opened his mouth, he always seemed to be ridiculed in some way or another by his peers. As a result he quickly learned to keep his mouth shut if he didn’t have anything of real substance to say, and subsequently he learned how to listen to others, to gauge them. He had his own small group of friends that he spent his free time with, although he was generally the quiet one out of the bunch.
Meanwhile, Yeforr’s antics seemed only to grow worse as he grew older. It seemed no topic or issue was safe from his scathing rebuke, including the Consortium that his father worked for, decrying its trading policies with Kushventh and other villages and how it would horde supplies or grains in time of need, or how it would often intimidate villages into accepting its deals. His parents began to seriously worry about his wellbeing if he continued to be so vocal; they made it a point never to play favorites, but their concern for Yeforr’s future caused them to spend an ever increasing amount of time dealing with him or simply obsessing about him. Aariq resented how the family was becoming increasingly centered around her older brother at her expense, but Veseris said little.
Eventually Yeforr’s mouth was opened one too many times, and the Consortium began to exert oft times “distasteful” pressure on Berem at his work to try and reign in his son. This had its own effects, but there was very little that he could do in this regard as Yeforr was increasingly belligerent and acting on his own. The situation escalated until one day Yeforr’s eccentric crusade met a wall of Consortium hired muscle head on.
Despite Beram and Zyfel’s pleas for their son, the Consortium simply wasn’t going to put up with this juvenile pest any longer. For two years he was “borrowed” for hard physical labor, and suffered a great deal more informally. When he finally returned home he was a broken young man, terrified at crossing any sort of authority and almost never laughing again.
Yeforr’s will might have been broken, but he was not the one most deeply affected by the incident. Berem, having seen his son crushed and broken by his own morally questionable employers, grew dark and brooding. He began doctoring books, draining money away (sometimes just making it disappear altogether without even collecting it himself, just to spite the Consortium). Contacts were even made with rival trading groups from outside the Valley, and confidential information was handed to them, sometimes even information that led to Consortium traders or carriages being raided by bandits.
Veseris, now on the verge of adulthood himself, was blissfully unaware of what his father was undertaking, until one day he happened upon a mysterious note that was between his father and some individual Veseris did not know of. He had no clue as to the true subject of the note and suspected it was nothing, but decided that he could indulge his curiosity for this one tiny instance. The note mentioned a rendezvous between Berem and the individual in question at a forest glen some hours away. Veseris decided to see what was going on, although he truly believed it was trivial, only that some small youthful part of him that loved excitement held the slightest possibility that it was anything of true consequence. He was not prepared for what he discovered.
That night he finally learned the truth of what his father’s true business was, and it was a prospect that deeply troubled Veseris. He decided against confronting his father directly, as that could prove troublesome. More to the point, he simply didn’t know what he could say or if it would even dissuade him from his goals, because Veseris had long ago realized that although the Consortium’s de facto rule over Kushventh and the Valley was not perfect, it was certainly better than any alternative he had seen; there was no hunger, everyone was taken care of. Heck, they even provided healers to the sick. Were their monopoly and their (admittedly sometimes heavy-handed) regulations and quotas truly so bad when they received so much? Why place it in jeopardy? So, instead, two days later, he had his own secret meeting when he contacted the Consortium, informing them of his father’s activities. For several days afterward, nothing happened, and Berem’s quiet work continued. Veseris was uncertain about everything. Had he been seeing things that night? Was that meeting, however unlikely it seemed, all part of some bizarre joke that his father had played on… someone? But then, finally, a week later it occurred.
The Consortium came suddenly. Apparently they had been quietly observing Berem in the intervening time to confirm Veseris’ suspicions and attempt to figure out the extent of how badly they had been compromised. This patience paid off as every almost every Reyn Berem had conspired with was captured, and subject to Consortium justice. Among the accountant’s accusers was non other than Veseris. The elder snow Reyn was too shocked for words when he learned that it had been his own son that had betrayed him, but after the shock subsided it was replaced by burning anger, and he said that he disowned him. The rest of Veseris’ family, including his extended relatives, were equally taken aback, and they repeatedly berated and questioned him as to how he could possibly betray his father. Once she learned the truth, Zyfel could not bring herself to talk to her son, and she never spoke to him again after the revelation. Aariq was equally offended, and beside a few hateful comments all she would do was to endlessly glare at her brother. None of them had ever expected to be betrayed by Veseris of all people. But it was Yeforr who took it the hardest. He threatened to kill Veseris and when ever they met Yeforr would scream at him incessantly. His extended family members could barely look at him. After the “trial” Berem was summarily executed.
Everyone tried to gauge Veseris’s reaction, tried to figure out what was going on in his head. But he remained stony and passionless, and did not respond to questions or accusations from his family or friends.
After his familial schism, Veseris went off to make his own life. The Consortium offered him a job with their traders, and he accepted. Driven by ambition, adventure, or a desperate desire to leave his hometown, no one could say for sure.
Out in the wider world Veseris served under an oft flamboyant but intensely focused Red Reyn named Ardik. Here he became one of the elder Reyn’s favorites, along with one other individual that Ardik felt had potential, another Red Reyn named Chuth. The two quickly grew used to each other, and throughout their travels with Ardik the two began to see each other as the brother they never truly had.
Seven years later Veseris and Chuth were sent on a mission of mediation; to arbitrate a trade dispute with the Keshmerit Tribes, a far flung, loose confederation of Gray Reyn almost on the edge of the explored world. As the Consortium had been branching out and expanding rapidly through this region, primarily via “intimidating” means (i.e. hiring mercenaries to attack and coerce most villages and tribes into falling in line), aggressive action was a distinct and even an easy fall back in the event that negotiations should fail. However, at the time there seems to have been sort of a power struggle between two Consortium higher ups with jurisdiction in the area, Gad and Vuclar, who had different plans for the Keshmerit. Vulcar argued for a “reworking” of the trade agreements to keep friendly relations with the Tribes while slowly developing de facto authority, while Gad proposed that the Consortium should simply attack the underdeveloped primitives and bring them under their heel and be done with it. At first, that was all that there appeared to be, but as Veseris examined the situation more closely, he came to realize that this battle was for favor with Consortium’s highest leaders, the Council of Eight, said council having recently grown a vacancy. Whoever won came out on top of this Keshmerit dispute was likely to gain leverage enough to fill the empty Council seat in question. Veseris respected both Reyn as competent leaders, but he felt that Vuclar was often headstrong and easily insulted, a foreboding combination of traits for a potential Councilor. Sharing his findings with Chuth, he discovered that his friend was skeptical of his arguments to break the negotiations so that Gad could move his proposed course of action forward, that slowly working behind the scenes with the Keshmerit would be a far more efficient use of resources than what Gad was proposing. Veseris attempted to argue that it was irrelevant as in the long run, Gad was a far wiser choice for a Councilor than the impetuous Vuclar, but Chuth would hear none of it. This continued for some time as the disagreement between the two caused the negotiations to stall, causing unwanted attention from all sides.
The pressure kept building, but Veseris, despite his best efforts, could not persuade Chuth to reconsider his position. Criticism continued to build, until one day when Chuth was stripped of his position and arrested by the Consortium, charged with treason. In what would turn out to be an extremely controversial trial, Chuth was accused of conspiring with the Keshmerit to preserve their Tribes in return for substantial bribes. The trial became a notoriety throughout almost the entirety of the Consortium’s lands, and many came to believe that the evidence was rigged against Chuth. Veseris once again testified against someone he was close to, and like the previous time the ruling was the same: guilty. In an impassioned speech after he was declared guilty Chuth declared his innocence to the last, staring Veseris angrily straight in the eye, who stared back in a blank an expression as ever. He was executed later that same day. The controversy of the incident never was truly resolved. In any case, Vuclar was discredited in the fallout of the, and Gad’s proposal of attack went through, and after a quick campaign he ascended to the position of Councilor.
Veseris afterward turned down offers of special treatment from Gad, even ones of promotion. Some swear it was out of guilt, other say it was to defuse suspicion that he was the one who was in someone else’s pocket during the Keshmerit scandal. He stopped speaking with his mentor Ardik, and has been devoting less and less time to his actual work for the Consortium, focusing more on strange sojourns that he refuses to explain later on, occasionally for months at a time. It is of note that in the aftermath that rumors have flown of the Snow Reyn’s intense expenditure of time on researching darker magics, energies and rituals that normally only the power hungry or the insane tend to devote their attention to. Though in addition he has focused calming, centering-of-being magics.
An employee of the Consortium, he has training in wielding knives, but prefers that only for surprise or "ending a conflict." Traditionally he eschews most armor or protection but travels in a dull unassuming gray cape.
-
Aeyer Metani: The Wandering Wind
A lone wandering Gray Reyn of unknown origin, and of a young age, wanders through the path through
the woods, clothed in a rather unusual outfit primarily of blue and some green accents, it was a warm
yet lightweight and comfortable outfit and his long sleeved shirt also had a hood. He wore twin blades
with a somewhat decorated hilt and pawguard on each one on his belt, they were light and allowed for
very fast attacks without exhausting the user. He has a very calm and friendly air about him, he was
always a gentle sort who would more often than not aid others in their hour of need, but yet at the
same time also a bit of distrust and detachement. His caring and selfless acts have also made him the
victim of being taken advantaged of and hurt quite a few times, through this he became quite wary
towards others, but not hateful. He looks around at the scenery, a beautiful blue sky hung over head,
and birds darting through the trees periodically, and a forest alive and echoing with life. He is one who
is very content with exploring and travelling, he left at an early age for most who venture alone
believing in letting the winds of fate guide him along on his journey. He was unsure why he wandered
so far from home, and yet it didn't really bother him either, he rather enjoyed the constant change of
scenery, the desert, arctic wastes, lush verdant plain, and diverse woodlands, he has seen it all.
He loved to travel but really wished he could have a companion with him, someone who
would accept and like him for who he was. With that sudden wish a brilliant light shined from within
himself, and an unusual spirit which looked like a simple male lop-eared bunny appeared right before
his eyes. He was startled and a little frightened of this new ghost-like creature who floated there. "H-
hello? who are you?" he said nervously, "Hi there Aeyer! I am your inner potential." he replied. "My
inner potential?" Aeyer said in disbelief. "That's right silly! I am your spirit helper, I have been
summoned by your wish for a friend." the spirit said. "Oh uh...I see! So you will be my friend?" Aeyer
said with a hopeful look in his eyes. "That's right! but I am also here to grant you your powers, now
hold still." The spirit then suddenly enveloped Aeyer in a shining aura of a teal color and he could feel a
surge of energy flow through him, and then suddenly nothing. Aeyer blinked for a moment and asked
the spirit "What the heck was that!?" the spirit replied "I just unlocked the dormant wind energies
inside you, and I will help to guide you and to help you grow". "Thanks very much! but I nearly forgot to
ask, do you have a name?" Aeyer said. "Oh forgive me for not telling you in the first place, my name is
Cirr!" Aeyer nodded "That is a nice name, I am glad to have met you Cirr." He said in a smile. But
suddenly a pulse of energy and shining pillar of light appeared in the distance giving off an ominous
wind, something was happening somewhere, they could feel it. Cirr said "There is no time, we must go
towards this surge of energy!" Aeyer replies "But what is it? it looks dangerous! I don't think it's a good
idea." "But you must Aeyer, this power could fall into possession of those who would use it for malicious
purposes! now let's go." Cirr shoots a burst of energy into Aeyer and they fly towards the strange
energy, hoping to find out what was the cause.
-
Alright! So... here's my try!
Name: Bedisa
Race: Fennec
Gender: Female
Description: A young fennec woman who tries to hide her face behind ruffled hair. She’s short (as with most fens), but she has muscle packed in her small frame. Along with durable tanned leather making her typical clothing, she carries strange, ancient trinkets with her, which she says “encourage” her and rally up more strength in herself and others.
Possibly the thing that stands out the most about Bedisa is the blade she carries, strapped to her back. She calls it "Pain's Caress," and is proud that it has never taken a life. It glows crimson with an almost unholy sort of aura. In addition to that, the uncommon metal that makes its blade has numerous etchings within, jagged and odd lines that just barely make awkward and fearful shapes. Attached to the hilt are baubles that, if inspected for long enough, seem to shift and squirm, numerous plates upon plates…
Background: From small settlements within the desert (also as with most fens), Bedisa grew up longing for fights, even though she didn’t seem meant for it. She picked them with other fennec kits, and with each loss, she became a little stronger and more experienced. Because of this, though, she paid little attention to schooling and much more to strategy, battle tactics, and tales of war.
As soon as possible, she deemed herself a guard to her small “hometown,” practicing skills with old, rusted weapons on some cacti, which she soon found did not make good dummies. She encouraged others to “enlist” as guards as well, mostly so she could fight against them. Within a few years, she had become a well-trained fighter, and believed herself not to be “the best,” but to be the most willing to become the best. She left her village with a good militia of trained guards to search for more opponents.
The numerous trinkets, symbols, and even the blade she carries, however, have a different story all their own. Bedisa claims she found them within ancient and destroyed ruins deep within the desert. She also claims she fought off huge beasts left over in the structure alone, but after only entertaining children with that part of the story, she stopped mentioning it.
All of the objects carried with her are enchantments; or at least she says. On Pain's Caress is a light healing magic; if it makes a cut, the blade is withdrawn and the wound scars over immediately, leaving the pain but preventing any potential fatal wounds. With this she can prevent losing her challenge/challenger right away and, if fighting anyone using magic, potentially “overload” their power. The other objects she holds provide an array of abilities; more strength, higher perception, a bounty of dexterity and stamina.
After hearing of an "Aether Sword," the fennec immediately set out after such a weapon, wondering if there would be any enchantments or challenges to go along with it.
-
Here we are, people!
The sign ins are now closed!
We now have 12 players!
Feel free to edit your characters as long as you want.
The tournament will start once I'm done with the intro thingy.
More infos later.
Prepare yourselves... the adventure will begin pretty soon....
-
Cover and first page of the introduction story! Art is by Cirrulean. I just did the text. [;)
(http://gallery.virmir.com/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=2103&g2_serialNumber=2) (http://gallery.virmir.com/main.php?g2_itemId=2101)
(http://gallery.virmir.com/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=2107&g2_serialNumber=2) (http://gallery.virmir.com/main.php?g2_itemId=2105)
-
(http://gallery.virmir.com/main.php?g2_view=core.DownloadItem&g2_itemId=2113&g2_serialNumber=4) (http://gallery.virmir.com/main.php?g2_itemId=2111)
[:)
-
...Awesome.
-
Okay, I know the introduction is not finished, but, I'm starting the tournament!
I will work on it during the first round.
The only thing you have to know is that your character received a magical letter that contains your first opponent description and the location for your first battle.
Here's the battles!
(http://img857.imageshack.us/img857/4202/octourneytable.png)
End of the submission for the first round:
6/4/11
-
Cirrulean has asked that I provide a short description of the battlefields for each match. These are just general guidelines-- feel free to fill in the details as much as you like. [:)
Aeyer VS. Zeze
Caerreyn Castle, courtyard
A walled field specked with cobblestone paths and rimmed with gardens. Towers of various heights frame the scene. A few upper-class Red Reyn watch the match with mild interest along with rather uneasy armed guards.
Banelure VS Ezctal
The Auberwood, clearing
Thick trees, grasses and tall bushes speckle this bright sunny clearing in the otherwise dense forest. One or two of the surrounding trees are equipped with a wooden treehouse. The expanse of the Relran Tree is visible once one gets above the canopy.
Bedisa VS Greg
Lake Caerreyn
Fed by a small mountain run-off river, Lake Caerryen is located to the northeast of the city of the same name and is rimmed by a well maintained trade road which occasionally houses merchant stands, as the lake is a popular resting point for travelers, some of which have gathered around to watch the curious battle taking place near the water's edges. Trees are rare in the rolling hills surrounding the water. The city itself is quite visible in the distance.
Tjin VS Red
Venswall Mountains, Caerreyn/Alopexia borderlands
A deep valley surrounded by high peaks, chill winds from Alopexia blow from the tops of the northern cliffs. A trade road divides the valley and sneaks around the rocks both north and south. Sparse vegetation occasionally peeks from the barren, rugged terrain.
-
Might add pictures at a later date ^-^
The one in the blood-red cloak arrived first, though nobody afterward could quite tell when he turned up, or from where. He was average sized, but his gait and posture made him seem smaller, almost shrunken. His face was hidden, and what could be seen of his hands and feet were gaunt, yellowed and claw-like. He carried no visible weapons, but anything could have been hidden in that great cloak.
His opponent showed up a few minutes late, hefting his enormous sword over one shoulder as he swaggered onto the desolate battleground. He was a tall, heavily built swordsman, and made his opponent look even smaller by comparison.
"Where's the other guy?" he demanded of the little creature in the red cloak.
"I am Red," said Red.
"You? This must be a joke."
Red nodded sagely. "Quite a funny one if I do say so myself."
The swordsman laughed uncertainly. "Where's my real opponent then?"
"I am he."
The swordsman shrugged. "Ok, your funeral."
Red remained silent, his glowing eyes blank of any discernible expression. The signal came, the fight began.
Tijin raised his sword and rushed at the crimson-clad thing with a great sweeping angular stroke, wielding the enormous blunt cleaver as if it weighed nothing. The road cracked and splintered under the force of the blow.
"Impressive," said Red, standing unscathed next to the cracked pavement.
A very confused expression crossed the swordsman's face. He decided that he had intended the first blow in warning, to encourage his obviously incapable opponent to give up without resorting to physical trauma. He raised the sword and pointed the the pavement. "That'll be your head in a moment. Last warning."
Something glinted. Tijin's instincts took over, flinging him violently to one side. He hit the ground and rolled, suffering only minor scrapes on the hard pavement. Something very small and very sharp ripped the air where his heart would have been. The swordsman rose quickly and started to circle the strange creature, sword at the ready.
Red smiled. "Ah, not only brute strength but great natural talent, if a bit unpolished. I was beginning to fear this would be boring."
"What are you?" asked the swordsman.
"I am Red," said Red, giving a little flourish with his cloaked hands. Tijin flinched, moving his sword instinctively to block a second sneak attack, but none came. Instead, Red calmly drew a pair of long, narrow knives from his sleeve and strode confidently toward Tijin. "Shall we begin properly?"
Metal and crimson flashed and blurred and sparked. An untrained eye would have been totally unable to follow the movements. Tijin's sword flashed horizontally toward Red, who lept over it with impossible agility, prompting the sword to reverse directions in midair and arc towards the crimson blur as its glinting knives lanced toward the swordsman. Tijin twisted gracefully out of the way without pausing in his swordswing and Red was obliged to parry with his other knife. The force of the impact sent sparks flying in all directions and sent Red flying back at least ten feet.
Red gave the swordsman no chance to recover but darted straight back into the fray, trying to leap and dodge around the enormous sword to strike at Tijin's back. Two, three, four times this failed and the smaller fighter was launched backward. The fifth time the sword grazed his sleeve, cutting loose a sliver of red fabric. Red was visibly tired, and the swordsman growing more confident. "Is that all you've got? You're a sneaky bastard all right, but nothing much really. Bring it on."
Red switched tactics, circling just out of range and pelting the swordsman with knives. Tijin laughed and danced out of the way, then gripped his great blunt sword with both hands and struck the pavement. A spray of tiny stone shrapnel, sharp as knifes, flew up at the red-clad figure, who stumbled back, a deeper red starting to soak through his cloak in a few places.
Tijin laughed. "Don't you wish you'd given up, old clown? I'm afraid your skull may never be the same after AAAAAUUGH" he broke off, having taken an arrogant, swaggering step forward and landed upon a very nasty, very sharp, very barbed piece of metal. A ring of them was scattered all around the swordsman.
"Clever," said Red, "but arrogant. Nothing to be ashamed of really. Pride has been the downfall of far better Reyns than you." He flicked his wrist and something red flew at the swordsman. Tijin, unable to dodge on an injured foot, smashed at the object with his sword to deflect it. The little red ball exploded into a pillar of smoke. When it faded, there was no sign of the swordsman. Red smiled behind his cloak and limped away from the battlefield.
-
Two-Part Story! Separated due to the former explaining travel and reasons and such and the latter containing the actual fight. So yay, I'm actually not a lazy bum. ]:)
-
Alright, it's short, but it's what I got. ]:)'
-
Just a reminder folks, the entry submission deadline is June 4th! Get your submissions in by then!
I can't speak for the other judges, but I will require a full week to judge the entries. I will post my my results on or before June 12th. (I will not read any other judges' rulings until after I post my own). In the event that a match has a "no show", I will still post what I think about the other person's entry.
-
I thought I might try and copy-paste my writing into a post, but... for once, I wrote a decent length, and I'm not sure if it would fit, soooooo... attachment, go!
-
Once again, here is my last second entry. [;)
EDIT: Second one is the edited version that hopefully weeded out the grammar issues. [:)
-
5 out of 8 so far-- not bad! I'm not sure if Cirrulean meant June 4th, US time (feel free to correct me, Cirr), but I think that's a good idea since most people here are from North America. Please get your submissions in tonight!
-
(http://img710.imageshack.us/img710/9726/aethercomicpg1.jpg)
(http://img861.imageshack.us/img861/6797/aethercomicpg2.jpg)
WOOO! 11:50PM Arizona time!
-
Awesome. [:) That's a wrap on the first round of submissions! We will take a look at the entries and post the results soon. [:)
-
Well hope you don't mind this submission is late. Or that I'm not supposed to be actually fighting this guy. Or that my character was never actually registered. But when I read the description of Anter's character I just HAD to write this.
It's a bit rushed but I got out the gist of it that I was going for. I was trying to go for a 1980s cartoon feel basically.
-
Hey people,
here's my vote :
Round 1 - Results
Fight 1: Aeyer (Trask) vs ZeZe (Geary)
Geary, I definitely liked your intro, that was a clever way to make your character entering
the tournament. You do have a point here, plus a bonus for the humor.
I have to say that I really like your character too, it's quite original.
However, the idea of a fake spirit controlling Aeyer during the battle, though a good one, is not well
used. I mean, it would have been better to see Aeyer struggling against this fake spirit, for example.
In other words, you would have needed to explore this idea a bit more.
Trask, your submission is overall good but... I think you didn't get what I told you about Cirr.
I didn't see the wind spirit I created, but a completely different character.
That plus I've got a feeling that your submission was a bit rushed too.
Too bad, you could have explored Cirr/Aeyer relationship a bit more...
So, my vote goes to Geary.
Thanks for playing,Trask, and remember, you can still write as a spectator. This would be an occasion for character
development
Fight 2: Banelure (Zavier) vs Ezctal (Anter)
Obviously, since Anter left the tournament, Zavier goes to the second round.
I'm going to tell you what I think of your submission though.
Well, the fight is well done,it's really nice to read.
But, the problem is that it's a bit too short. You would have needed a more developed intro as well as a hint
of a background story...
Keep that in mind for the next round.
Fight 3: Greg (Donnie) vs Bedisa (Medik)
One word : awesome!
This match was really hard to judge. Both players made a great submission with interesting characters.
They are equal to me, and choosing a winner was very hard for me.
Why you two had to fight at the first round... curse the random bracket generator.
My vote goes to Donnie, because of the little hint of silly humor, but believe me, it was really tight.
Fight 4: Red (Alias) vs Tijin (TheTai)
Well Alias is the obvious winner here since we had no signs from TheTai...
I don't understand that... why registering for a event like this when you show up only two times a year?...oh well...
Alias, you do have a great writing style, and your submission was really pleasent to read.
You just need an intro and it would have been really excellent.
Your character is also very interesting, and I'm looking forward for the next round,to see how you are
going to develop the story.
-
Kit, awesome that you decided to write something inspired by this. Though you're outside the official tournament, I'll take a look at it and give my thoughts soon. [:)
And now, my thoughts on the entries. [;)
My official votes are behind spoiler tags at the bottom of each section!
Aeyer (Trask) Vs ZeZe (Geary)
--------------------------------------
I generally liked both these submissions. They both have their strong and weak points. Let's take a look at Geary's first.
First, I like the silliness at the beginning of yours, Geary. You integrate your character's intro with the beginning here, and poke fun at this loose tournament setting rules. That's quite all right. [;) (Just FYI, first name is Kendo. Virmir actually is the last name. [;))
ZeZe is probably the most original character here with that odd flying sail thing, but still holds pretty close to what little we've seen of Fens in the comic, with the messenger aspect and all. I like this as well.
Your submission unfortunately has a few typos in it. Nothing horrible, but you had three weeks to look this thing over. You could have done better. [;)
Word flow is all right. Not spectacular, but I get a pretty clear image of what's going on. No problems there.
The conflict and resolution is an interesting one here...
First of all, I don't really like the way you treated Trask's character. On one hand, it is a cool twist that you made the whole spirit thing presented in Aeyer's intro a fake. This really could have been a great little story here, but you didn't develop it nearly enough. Okay, so Aeyer is possessed by a fake Cirr which makes him act like a total jerk and have powers of darkness instead of the wind stuff mentioned in Aeyer's intro. We're left to draw this conclusion entirely on our own simply because it totally clashes with Aayer's intro. We don’t see any of Aayer's personality here at all. Why not have him struggle with the fake Cirr? Why not have him help ZeZe battle the fake Cirr after it is librated from his body? That way we could have at least seen some of the stuff presented in Aayer's intro. As it is, you don't draw anything from what Trask wrote in his intro at all, which hurts this submission.
-
On the flipside, Trask, I find Aeyer rather likable. He's the well meaning innocent type, which while not terribly original, is hard not to find a soft spot for.
I know you did get permission from Cirr to use his character, but I'm wondering if you had a misunderstanding or something. I know Cirr did not manage to finish the intro, but he did give basic information about Cirr coming to Virmir and starting the tournament. It seems to me that you would have presented at least a hint of this in your character's intro or somewhere during your submission. It seems to me a totally different Cirr than what Cirrulean wrote about, and I can totally see why Geary took this a step further with fake Cirr plot.
(Then again maybe you had different ideas of your own you were just waiting for the right moment to spring on us. ;))
You do have a fair amount of intro before the battle, which is good, but it's just his experiences before the match-- doesn't really add a whole lot to the story or show us anything new about the character.
The battle itself isn't bad. A nice flow of action. I had to reread a few sentences to make sure I understood what was going on, but nothing glaring, really. Unlike Geary's submission, you do manage to write in ZeZe's abilities more closely to what was presented in his intro. Credit there.
All-in-all, this isn't a bad job, Trask. Apart from Cirr being a little out of place, there's nothing glaringly wrong with this submission.
Problem is, it's fairly formulaic and doesn't really pop out at me. Geary's just seems a bit more interesting and entertaining. It's pretty close, and Geary definitely could have done a better job, but I still think I'm going to have to go with his.
Virmir's Vote: ZeZe (Geary)
---------------------------------------------
Banelure (Zavier) Vs. Ezctal (Anter)
Okay, so obviously Anter dropped out and Zavier gets a free ride, but you did put effort into writing this, Zav, so here are my thoughts.
Over all, this is a bare minimal submission. It's not bad really-- you show that you read and understood Anter's character, then compared his powers with your own character's. The fight is short, but it is described well enough and you give Ezctal some credit and not make him a pushover.
The problem is, it's just the fight and that's it. Nothing really surprising or interesting happens during the course of it. It's all just as expected. In the next match, try and think of a little sub-plot to get going on the side, or perhaps some character development-- something new that helps build your character (or your opponent's character!) a bit more instead of just describing the battle. Will give you a much higher shot at winning. You have three weeks, so spend a little time every day working on it and build something awesome. Good luck!
Virmir's Vote: Banelure (Zavier)
------------------------------------------
Bedisa (Medik) Vs. Greg (Donnie)
Okay, now THIS is a good match.
First of all, in my opinion, Medik is the stronger writer. On the other hand, Donnie has THE COMIC. This is a close call here. Let's take a look.
I really like Bedisa as a character. She's smart, not overly trusting, cautious, likes to fight but doesn't want to kill... she just seems really down to earth and realistic to me. I really like how you have her treat Greg like a kid, Medik, and I can tell you paid attention to Greg's powers and background. You write the both of them really well, and really this is a good matchup. You even delve into Greg's backstory a bit before the battle. Very nice!
That said... she does try to drown the poor kid pretty coldly. But she does heal him, so still fits. [;)
The battle has a number of high points, and I do think you have the best written battle of all the entries. It just flows really nicely. I recall reading some of your past written work and compared to your old stories, I am seeing a marked improvement here.
Plot-wise, it is pretty basic, and like many others there's nothing really surprising here. Granted, it's early in the tournament, and the buildup before the battle along with a few twists during the fight pretty much make up for this.
-
Switching gears and taking a look at Donnie's, I do like how you pick up right where you left off in your character intro. Your writing style isn't too bad in this first part, but Greg gets thrown into the battle really quickly with no direction at all. The written portion just barely suffices as an intro to the comic. Not terrible, since the comic is your main draw, but a little development would have been cool.
But taking a look at that comic... Eeeee~! *loves it* [:)
Okay, I won't take a look at artistic ability, since that's not quite fair in a tournament like this.
I will be looking at execution and style, though. And blast, did you nail it.
First of all, Donnie, you tend to struggle with dialogue. Some of your other comics have had this problem. You can see a bit of forcedness in the introductory written section even. The dialogue in this comic though... well, it's much improved! You missed the second apostrophe around 'just a kid' on page 2, but that's it, really. It flows nicely with all the panels and expressions, and none of the speech bubbles obstruct anything. Nice job!
Action-wise, I can tell what is happening in each panel clearly, and you don't do any jumps or skip anything that leaves me wondering how to connect the dots. The facial expressions are fantastic. And the story, short as it is, fits nicely in two pages and is the type of silly cartooniness that I love. (You even throw in a blatant Dragon Ball Z reference. [;)) Furthermore, you portray both Greg's and Besida's personalities wonderfully. I particularly love how Greg looks like a total doofus when not transformed. [;)
This matchup here was a bit of an unfortunate placement so early. I would have liked to have seen both Medik and Donnie face off against some of the other contestants first. I'm fairly confident that both of you would have prevailed and advanced when compared to many of the other entries this round to fight against each other later in the tournament instead of in the first round. Unfortunately I must choose one. Medik, you did a fantastic job, and your entry is probably my second favorite out of all the submissions this round. However, Donnie's comic just blows me away, and he is my pick for this match.
Virmir's Vote: Greg (Donnie)
------------------------------------------
Tjin (Tai) Vs. Red (Alias)
So, Alias obviously passes by way of no-show from Tai. Tai did not bother to check in to give us a heads-up, unlike Anter, so he shall be heckled if/when he comes around again. [;)
Red seems the basic mysterious character, Alias, though I can tell you plan on developing him more. [;) We did not get quite the development I would have liked in your entry though. All-in-all, it's a pretty straightforward battle that shows off his abilities with nothing really surprising revealed, except his finishing move makes me raise my brow a bit. I am interested in seeing where you're going with the exploding-disappearing ball thing (while keeping in mind the "no deaths" rule [;))
That said, I love your writing style, Alias. It's always a pleasure to read anything by you, and this entry was no exception. While very nicely done, I do suggest you add a bit more plot next time around, as a simple battle-only might not be enough if your next opponent actually shows up. (Granted, I know you were on a trip when you wrote this. You still had three weeks though, but banged it out in a few hours, as I recall. [;))
Virmir's Vote: Red (Alias)
-
Alias / Red:
Well, I'm just about the worst reviewer ever, but let's see...
Technically, writing's good, tho leaning a tiny bit toward the more complex words and phrases. I wouldn't expect anything less than this from you. {;)
Red himself, hmm... I expected a bit more stereotypical evil, but I was positively surprised. And well, I should have expected that, having read some of your other stories.
Tijin seems to be matching the posted description quite well. Can't compare to the author's concept, obviously.
Fight was nicely described. There was a point or two where I felt the characters' names were used too repeatedly instead of looking for alternatives, but I realize that I always blow this specific point out of scale.
I expected a twist ending, but not this one. Quite popular angle there, with overconfidence leading to fatal mistake... but it's usually applied to the more evil side of a fight. ;)
Taijin / Tijin:
Lost through not showing up on the battlefield.
Red wins, obviously.
Geary / ZeZe:
Intro was, well, interesting to say the least. Over the top noncanon, but funny.
The main part, well, hmm... well, I remember you wanted to play the card of Trask's version of his character being how he sees himself, but with reality being different. Said that, you totally missed that he's suppsed to have wind attacks. Well, that, or wrote them so discreetly *I* missed it... was that one sentence supposed to say that he tried an air blow and missed?
Honestly, I think they should be quite effective at someone with a glider. Sure, you're supposed to win in the end, but a bit of struggle would lead for a better story.
Also, well... some slipups were just... bleh, like calling the reyn a "man", and "(...)before an old sage quickly and quietly sealed it within a stone to be turned into the Queen." Wait, what? :P
Said that, you acted "the lunatic" pretty good. Kinda better than your own character.
Trask / Aeyer:
Oh yipe. Stream of storytelling. So very Traskish. :P
From the writing quality side, welp, it sure could use some editorial review. and I'll stop here because a list would be too long. >.>;
Beginning is confuuuuusing. First you are knowing that tomorrow you'll have a fight, wonder who'll you be fighting with, and so on, and then, once ZeZe gives you the information you're like "I wonder why I'm in a tournament"? Honestly, urm... something doesn't quite fit here.
The rest of "pre-fight" part gave quite a nice feel on the character.
And then, well... you talked with him yesterday, so why describing him like someone you've never seen before once in the arena?
Content of the combat part itself is pretty good, tho well, there were writing mistakes like everywhere else.. You both fought well, it wasn't one-sided.
The ending, well, some would call annoyingly noble, and, well, risky, but hey, that's what you (and your character) would do.
Vote for the Gray.
Zavier / Banelure:
Short, but to the point. I quite like it. Nothing particular to nitpick on, either, so don't know what to say here. :P
Good flow of the actions, no overt focus on anything at cost of the rest...
I kinda wonder what was that spell supposed to be that it damaged only the first layer and didn't hurt you much.
And well... $evil_character_gloats_and_loses_guard++; But hey, it works. ;)
Anter / Ezctal:
Stepped down from the tournament.
Yay for the Halberdfox.
Medik / Bedisa:
Yipe. Yipe. Yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipe.
That's, paws-down, best written story of them all. Written great, emotional, with a great amount of flavour in descriptions and thoughts... a great read.
You focused on Greg's red form, but well, that's just about all right. I'd sure enjoy even more colorful fight (pun intended), but it wasn't exactly your point, it seems. Tho, well, he uses a sword and a lance(?), not a hammer. ;)
You played the characters really, really good in the beginning. During the fight, I honestly don't know, but you just as well might have teased Greg into such a hard fight; I know my brother wouldn't give up, but fight until he wins or gets eliminated after calling him a wimp, especially back when he was a kit. :P
You didn't write Bedisa out of nearly all damage. You didn't kill your opponent, either, and justified if very good in character.
All I could complain about sums up to "well, you might research Greg a more, but it's quite well as is". Greeeat stuff.
Donnie / Greg:
*whimpers*
Well, for the obvious reason of different medium, you're not as detailed im background fluff as Medik was.
The art istelf, actions, expressions (ESPECIALLY expressions) are pure gold. I like a lot how you acted the characters. Bedisa's personality seems to be very much like Medik's own version. Well, maybe a little bit more "looking from above" at the other fox. Greg himself, hmm... seems a bit less lost, a bit more just kit-ish, and driven first to her, and then, in the end of the comic, toward the next stage by Forces Unknown.
I just loved the "And that... is that." part, for some reason. :P In general, the second page was a great joke.
Said that, honestly, you kind of... well... defeated her without a scratch. Seems she didn't even have time to try anything with her sword.
A few bits are a little confusing, too, it's relatively easy to miss the sword, we see just about only the handle of it.
On the other paw, I realize that time and effort needed for a comic are much different than for a story, so I can't compare directly.
Two submissions I honestly believe are objectively best of all... by my two best friends... Honestly, I want to either abstain from the vote, or vote so you both go through... which would only lead to repeat of the dilemma in the future, I think. So... with deep regrets... I'm voting for Bedisa. Sorry, friends... ( And for those that think I do favoritism here... think about it... no more epic comics! Would I go for this out of favoritism? :P )
-
Updated the tournament table!
(http://img835.imageshack.us/img835/8289/octourneytablecopie.png)
-
Right so since the story I submitted was totally rushed, I forgot about a few things. First of all, in case it's not clear... timeline goes that Ezctal and Leonard fought before the fight with Banelure. Since Leonard lost the battle and didn't end up 'winning' until far later after Ezctal had already lost his own fight, it thus follows that were he ever in the tournament he would be knocked out there. So thus I technically 'win' but don't throw a wrench into the tournament mechanics. I talked with Anter before writing it and the things I did involving his character were with his permission.
And on an editorial note, in the scene where Leonard is doing the whole introspective thing.... when he finds his confidence there are supposed to be rainbows. Rainbows everywhere. And flowers. And kittens. And just about everything that can possibly represent justice and goodness in the world. The whole 'love and hope' triumphs thing was supposed to be way overplayed with the demon crying out a long out-drawn 'NNNNOOOOOOOO!!!!!!" as he's driven into the darkness. It was the whole reason I wrote the story afterall, and then I forgot to actually write it... go figure :/
-
Blast it, Kit, that was awesome. You totally should have joined this. [;) A good fun read. I would have voted for it over most of the stuff presented in the first round, honestly.
(You also should have just stuck in the rainbow thing before I read it. [;))
-
I was going to, but at the time I was kind of tired and not up to actually writing it in. I'll properly add that bit when I get around to polishing it up. If that ever happens I'll just pop it into its own proper thread away from here.
Also I had planned to join but I was really busy during signups and then Cirr announced there were 12 contestants which seemed like a perfect number so I didn't think he'd let me in after that. I had been going to ask before I saw his post if I could still get in. Ah well, it turned out fine in the end and I got to write an awesome story anyway.
-
Hey people!
The second round will start soon!
We just need the battlefields (and the hazards that come with them).
However, this second round is special.
You have an another objective.
Right after finishing your battle with your opponent you're challenged by this unknown guy.
(http://img90.imageshack.us/img90/723/zaharlcfotourney.png)
Name : Zaharl
An assassin
He appears to be completely twisted, talking about you being his "prey". He seems obsessed with fighting and killing.
A purple aura is emanating fromhim and his twin daggers.
It's impossible to know who sent him...
You will have to include a second fight in your submission.
Good luck with him...
-
And now the battlefields!
Osric vs ZeZe :
The ghost airship: The Flying Snowreyn
An abandoned wandering airship surrounded with a deep fog. The ship is crumbling, randomly cracking
and the sound of the wind makes strange noises. In the captain's quarter, there's a skeleton sitting at the desk and holding a chest.
Disadvantages:Main: Fear. Everything is very scary.... really.
Minor: Fog. Only if you're fighting on the deck.
You can make something quite interesting with Zaharl here... :p
Banelure vs Dr. J. Keem
Dinaro mountains (surrounding Caerryn) : The mine complex.
A vast cave with railways going to the bottom.
The walls arecovered with crystals shining and lighting the whole cave and shining dust is glowing everywhere. The bottom contains a lake.
You can use the minecarts and the elevators, and almost everything in the cave.
Disadvantage: Vertigo. If you're fighting at the highest level, or on the railways.
Nitrogen narcosis. If you fall on the lake
-
Veseris Vs. Greg
Endless Dunes, Black Rose Desert
Located far to the south of Vandaria, these sprawling dunes mark the beginnings of the Fen territories. Scorching arid heat permeates the burning sands, spotted by a rare cactus or flat stones, under which crawling things flee to escape the sunlight.
Disadvantages: It's blasting HOT.
Very difficult traction in the sands.
Inuri Vs Red
Glacier Moutaintops, Alopexia
This horrible, frigid wasteland is packed with wretched snow and ice, with steep droppoffs in-between rolling slopes. Bone-chilling winds intermittently blast between the taller peaks.
Disadvantages: It's blasting COLD.
Avalanches are a possibility if flashy, explosive techniques are used.
Slippery slopes provide a falling danger.
Tournament entries are due **July 10th** by midnight of whatever timezone you are in! Good luck, folks. [:)
-
Right, I put some more effort into this one. I spent an entire afternoon working on it. (Counting getting distracted multiple times. ]:P')
-
Okay, here's my entry. Weighing in at about five and a half pages, I am happy to present the first chapter in Johannes Kemm's Aether Sword quest: Ignition.
Enjoy!
(P.S. let me know if the conversion to RTF screwed anything up, Open Office likes to sneak that kind of stuff by me when it saves anything besides ODT.)
-
Alright... Here we are.
-
ANNOUNCEMENT:
Deadline extended to : 17 July 2011 : Midnight of your local timezone.
See you later!
-
Finally done! Had to pull an all-nighter for this one ]:P
-
My estimation that it would have taken 10 pages to fully flesh out this experience was correct. I only got to 7.
(http://img855.imageshack.us/img855/1407/occontest2page01.jpg)
(http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/1477/occontest2page02.jpg)
(http://img135.imageshack.us/img135/6589/occontest2page03.jpg)
(http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/9523/occontest2page04.jpg)
(http://img8.imageshack.us/img8/2109/occontest2page05.jpg)
(http://img801.imageshack.us/img801/5527/occontest2page06.jpg)
(http://img641.imageshack.us/img641/8875/occontest2page07.jpg)
[This page is optional, but it oddly fits after the previous one. But since it involves Bedisa doing an action it is best left unjudged]
(http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/8875/occontest2page07.jpg)
Forgive me Cirrulean [:P
-
here we go!
-
To say it was a matter of caring or not was an oversimplification. Bodily desires like thirst are a thing several magnitudes less complicated than others, but nonetheless it is not simply a robotic reflex that when one feels thirsty one drinks. It is a matter of choice to drink now or to work toward satisfying one’s thirst. Or it can be postponed. It can be cared about, or not cared about. Naturally this affects one’s physical health to a degree, but that can be put on hold if need be if the situation calls for it.
That is, if one feels so.
Feeling at his canteen, the white Reyn named Veseris rubbed his paws on it, aware of how much precious fluid remained in its volume, how much hydration he had left to look forward to in this sweltering climate. He was rather thirsty, no question about it. This blazing heat, these dry sandy dunes: none of it was anything like he was used to in all his travels. There were reasons that he had never gone to the desert, especially such an inhospitable locale such as this. Granted, what jobs or assignments could he possibly have been given that would require travel to these forsaken lifeless wastes before?
Still, when the need was there, one did what was necessary.
Wrenching his footpaws through the soft sand, it was a constant effort for the white Reyn to keep his balance in the dunes, especially as the wind leaned into him constantly bullying him, threatening to topple him over with a brutal relentlessness at times. More exertion, more effort.
More thirst.
His throat ached, cracking with a dryness that wanted to shatter like an evaporated riverbed, like it wanted to just let loose with one giant fissure that would spread up and down his body, snapping him in two on the spot. Giving in, the white Reyn clutched his canteen and allowed himself some precious gulps of the life giving liquid that coated his mouth and throat, undoing the parched dryness inside him, if only for a time.
It is of course a delicate choice. Drink now? Refresh yourself in the present? Or wait later? A delicate calculation to make, especially with something as embedded into the psyche as thirst.
His vision scrutinized the sands, peeking this way and that, not seeing much for miles around in all directions. Sand, wastes, emptiness. It certainly was a place where if one had time for feelings of loneliness, such isolation could gnaw at your bones. It could seep into your gut and deliver a quiet pressure that sapped your breath like an ever present leak.
Still, little there was that one could do but wait.
This is what he had been told to do, by that odd pair. A rabbit spirit and a short Gray with odd antennae like hair. He’d been told where to go. He’d been told what to do. He’d been given justification. Save the world, gain power, prove oneself, all that.
Was it a good why?
Depends...
The white Reyn swore their scent reached him before his eyes caught sight of them. Two... peculiar, considering that he had been told there would only be one. Thoughts reflexively fell to his knife, and his paws clenched with memories of knowledge that had been acidicly etched onto his soul. Was there a trick afoot? A team up? Perhaps the spirit and the Gray had been duplicitous; it had been mistake to trust them so openly.
The sight coming forward was not one that would be expected however. Both were rather short. From what it looked like the pair consisted of a Fen- a woman- and a Gray, and a child at that. Confusion creased the white Reyn’s brow, as he steadied his balance, stiffening like a statue, like the rigid remains of a long forgotten king who had set up and displayed his fallen wonders for the world to see, to be swallowed up by the sands.
The two parties became closer now, the other now firmly in the sights of the presumed opponent. The distance closed, the gap narrowed, scrutinizing eyes examined.
"You there?" the female Fen called out, the child watching with an intense curiosity, a concentration animating his pupils that verged almost on the unnatural. A child, yes. But there was something off, something that made him pause. Both of them approached cautiously, awaiting a reply.
The white Reyn did not venture a reply for the longest while. "Unless you believe me to be some sort of ghost, most certainly so." The newcomers snapped each other a quick glance. "So, which of you would be my opponent?"
Fears of a team up were put to rest when the Fen pointed at the young Gray. "Surprise!" she exclaimed. "It’s the kit here. Mine name’s Bedisa, and this is Greg by the way."
Barely an eyebrow was raised by the white Reyn.
A long silence. "Erm... hello mister?" the one called Greg said, snapping his finger paws about. "You gonna tell us your name?"
An apathic shrug. "Would it make a difference?"
"Um... usually most people do tell their names? It’s just us, I might as well know yours."
A reply was not given. Neither of relenting or of scorn. A blank mask stared out, face unmoving.
"Mister?...
"I don’t think this one’s going to say anything kid," said the Fen. "Just... have at him," she declared gesturing with her paws.
The white Reyn moved not an inch. The most that occurred where thoughts, memories. He looked at the young Gray, small but strutting his stuff, moving with a confidence... He looked like a certain brother...
The image of Yeforr, standing tall and brash, eager for adventure, confrontation, excitement; it burned through his memory, bright as the sun shiny down on this sandy desert. Bright as the light on this small Gray. Now there was a change. Now there was an alteration to that steadfast stone mask that was called a face.
The Gray did not fail to take notice. "Mister? Erm... you sure you’re here to fight?" The child... was a child, yes, but he was clearly more too. So like Yeforr, but stronger... the white Reyn nodded in response very slowly.
"... um, right... you sure? You don’t seem very into it. You sure you want to fight here? I mean-"
"Greg!" the Fen snapped behind him.
"What?" he snapped back.
A facepaw. "Just attack him already?"
"But this fighting stuff, you sure it’s necessary?"
"Look at him!" she exclaimed, "he’s just standing there like a statue!" The white Reyn obliged her flawlessly. "Go at him!"
The Gray sighed deeply. "Alright, alright... Well mister, I guess we gotta do this." Suddenly a strange flash light the sands, and without further preamble the diminutive vulpine was now garbed in greener clothes... as well as standing on a rug that hovered above the sand.
There was very little warning for the elder opponent at as the green clothed child rocketed forwards. The white Reyn barely had time to evade. It might have been enough, but he was successfully caught off guard by the abruptness of the attack. Spinning and clutching his side from the severe and sudden blow to his abdomen, he was almost too disoriented to notice the child warrior spin his scimitar around, this time holding the blade out and not the grip which had just pummeled his side in. "If you insist on fighting, I’ll make it quick and painless for you then."
Groaning from perhaps a cracked rib, the white Reyn shook himself and glared at the flying green devil as he zoomed over the dunes and swooped in for another pass. This time, he was ready.
The instant the Gray came in for his blow, the white Reyn fell over backwards flat on his back. Sliding down on the dune, he waited just the split second before his opponent’s flying carpet was over him before kicking up from underneath with all his might.
A child’s scream reverberated across the sweltering dunes as the one called Greg tumbled chaotically through the air. The white Reyn leaped to his feet, his chest flaring with ache. Of course now it would be time to finish the job.
...Except it wasn’t. This point was quickly delivered home when a fierce blue light instantly preceded a grappling hook flying forward and latching around his leg. The white Reyn screamed in shock and surprise as he was brought low and out from a burst of sand emerged the Gray, this time decked with blue, his face beaming with a upright determination and pride. "I can win this no matter what, snow Reyn!" Running forward, he began lobbing small black spheres.
Crashing into the sands, the white Reyn was curious only an instant before rolling away as they exploded with an ear piercing volume. Cradling his ears, he saw another bomb flying. Instantly he rolled himself down the sand dune, tumbling about chaotically and with almost complete disorientation in his mad desperation to evade the hurled explosives. Another burst hurled a column of sand upward mere feet away and produced a shock that slammed into the tumbling snow Reyn like a wall.
"Hah!" the Gray shouted triumphantly as he bounced yet another bomb in his paws. "Well Bedisa, now we’ll make short work of him," he declared triumphantly as he hefted the last bomb to finish off his opponent.
Gasping, totally dizzy and dazed, the white Reyn only had the barest second to see the bomb coming... and slam right next to his shoulder. At the bottom of a sand dune, there was little room for him to move, too much sand to gain his balance to stand in time... He couldn’t get away... so he decided to return the package to its sender.
Not sure of how few twinklings of an eye he had left, he snatched the lit explosive and hurled it blind in the direction of the child warrior.
So flush he was with victory the Gray didn’t notice the bomb flying back until too late. Exploding midair, the blast wasn’t enough to injure, but it was enough to knock him off his perch atop his sand dune and knock him over backward, landing on his ankle at a jarring and painful angle and tumbling down in a general heap.
Grunting, the white Reyn grimaced, clawing at the shifting sand and forcing himself up, determined to follow his prey. Clearly he had been incapacitated or set back in some way, as the snow Reyn was still allowed to stand. Hurrying, he ran up the dune, panting and sweltering in the heat. If only he could have more water...
A yellow flash painted the sands. Bracing, the white Reyn found himself at the center of no attack. Instead, he found the child now dressed in yellow, an air of serenity exuding from him, wielding a double edged sword.
The Gray breathed deep. "Clever, Mister. Very clever. You got the best of me with my pride showing there. Guess I’ll just have to swallow it and just flow on some tranquility." And with that, the child warrior proceeded to run up the sand dune as if it were solid ground, flying as if propelled by mystical energies.
Fortunately for the snow Reyn this was not unforeseen, as he had been expecting something surprising and stood as prepared as he could. The child moved up, flew up, staring him down, ready to make his move. Again, the white Reyn saw his brother Yeforr in those eyes, so set upon his purpose, so believing in his aims, so convinced of the righteousness of his cause.
The blade came forward swiftly, swinging in at inhuman speeds that sliced into the white Reyn’s desert cloak several times. He attempted to evade, but was cleanly sliced at the edges of his arms and across the tip of his belly even, all moves of deathly precision and deliberateness.
"Do you give up?" the Gray asked calmly. His opponent flailed and tried to push out from the sword’s reach. The snow Reyn was rewarded by a sharp butting of the sword’s hilt to the head. Dazed and grimacing, he was grabbed by the child warrior with both paws and yanked face to face, up close.
"This doesn’t have to go on any longer. You don’t need to hurt yourself anymore. Do you give up?" he repeated with the utmost serenity.
Such tranquility was rewarded by a close quarters kneeshot to the groin. Keeling over backward in shock and mouthing wordlessly, the white Reyn lowered his neck and head butted the child. The Gray’s paws let go and they both tumbled over backwards, greeting the sands with their wide open muzzles and receiving large mouthfuls of swelteringly hot sand.
Spitting up blood and sand, the white Reyn rasped for breath, dizzy and becoming rapidly dehydrated, spent of almost all energy. He tried lifting himself up, but merely stood on his hands and knees, gasping for breath and spitting out spittles of bloodied sand.
That is, until the desert burst with red, and an enraged howl ripped through the sands and crashed into his ears. Stumbling to his feet, the white Reyn crawled up the dune...
He was greeted by the sight of the child warrior. But this time his garb was red, his weapons were a giant lance and enormous sword; one in each paw. His eyes were beaming red, his face curled into a vicious snarl, his whole body seething with rage that desired nothing more than to deliver an almighty wrath against this cursed enemy.
Glaring and charging, the Gray hefted his weapons with unnatural strength, utterly unimpeded by the tremendous weight of his enormous weapons.
Instantly the Snow Reyn bolted for higher ground, determined to wrest whatever advantage he could gain in this incredibly lopsided fight. He charged, and as the enraged Gray ran up after him and kicked up large clouds of hot sand right at him as he approached, hoping to blind him and slow him down.
It turned out it marginally succeeded at both these goals; though what it really succeeded at was royally pissing off the super strength child berserker. Roaring in fury he jabbed his giant lance forward. While he failed as in any way impaling his fleeing prey, he was easily able to jerk his weapon to the side and smashed the white Reyn’s legs out from under him.
Brought low and tumbling, the white Reyn was given another mouthful of hot sand. For a moment the world simply spun about him in a dizzy kaleidoscope, and the one thought occupying him... was thirst. Just so thirsty. So dry. His lips and throat were dryer than a cracked desert stream. He just needed... needed so bad...
The face resembling Yeforr’s came into view, triumphantly looking down at his prey. "Now you asked for it Mister." His paws raised themselves, hoisting their weapons up high. Coming to inflict the final blow.
Thoughts returned of his brother. Of the trial, of the shock. Of the scorn. Of the betrayal that the white Reyn had committed.
Lurching upward the dirtied Reyn threw his body weight at the lance, and shoved it backward with all his weight in a sudden move. There was little doubt that the super powered Gray could have brushed this push aside and sent his opponent flying backward with as much effort as brushing aside a fly... if he had been expecting it.
Instead the momentum caught him utterly off guard, thrusting him backward and disrupting his balance. Charging forward, pushing against the lance the snow Reyn leapt in a burst of utter adrenaline. He unsheathed his dagger and brought it in forward and low.
Had he been aiming at an adult, it is very likely the Gray would now have had a stab wound straight into his liver. As it was it thrust in and stabbed right above his right lung, under the shoulder. Screaming with surprise he dropped both his weapons and fell back, smashing into the sand with a tremendous impact.
Kneeling over him lay the snow Reyn, rasping, in agony out of breath, holding the knife in tight against the now weaponless Gray. Leaning in, he placed his muzzle next to the child warrior’s ear. "Now... do you yield?"
A dizzy but angry grunt was the immediate reply, to which the white Reyn jiggled the knife around just a tad more. Staring at his opponent, his eyes locked down on him, gazing at him more like a pair of stationary orbs than windows into a man’s soul. Gurgling and spitting up some sand, the red dressed Gray nodded in defeat.
"Wow..." came a stunned voice behind. The Fen wobbled up on the sand dune to finally get an up close look at the aftermath. "You know, I didn’t quite see that coming."
The victorious combatant shrugged. "A knifing you see coming isn’t proper use of a knife," he said without mirth as he gripped his weapon and yanked it out to a howl of pain from the incapacitated Gray.
"Oh blah," the Fen woman shook her head, and retrieved from her back a strange sword, peppered with curved etching and borderline unsettling shapes. A soft disconcerting red glow emanted from it as she brought it forward... and stabbed her companion with it. Upon his predictable scream, she grimaced. "Oh quit it already, you’ll be good as new in a moment!"
Strangely, this statement turned out to be truer than it had any right to be. While obviously in a great deal of pain, the child warrior’s stab wound was patched up in little to no time. Catching sight of the stare from the white Reyn, the Fen held up the sword. "Pain's Caress," she said, wielding it about. "Hurts just like a normal sword but heals the wounds as it passes good as new!"
This was an interesting concept to the victor. More than interesting in fact. But that was suddenly a lesser concern at the moment. A rather much more interesting one was the figure unexpectedly standing behind.
A lean, curled forward figure, like a coiled spring dressed in tight black and red garb. His hair spiked from several ends in black, yellow and purple, and held out unnatural red blades at a hungry angle, ready to sate themselves with more of the blood red color they were made of.
Bedisa caught sight of this and only gawked for a moment before the intruder leapt forward, screeching with a howl that felt like it shattered eardrums, slamming at the Fen quickly and slicing at her.
A scream of pain rang out, though as she crumpled she was clearly not mortally wounded. Her wounds were shallow and superficial, more for the benefit of pain than inflicting fatality. The newcomer Gray Reyn held up his left blade, shimmering with lines of his victim’s blood, and tongued it slowly. Eyes rolling into the back of his head, ecstasy gripped his body as he smiled deliriously.
"That," his gravely voice rasped, "was a wonderful appetizer." His eyes snapped back into place, squarely feasting their gaze upon the recently victorious snow Reyn, still haggard and leaning over from his costly triumph. "You are the victor then?" the bloodthirsty Gray whispered with a blood coated tongue as he examined the child Greg’s still limp and breathing heavily form. "Some victor..." he snarled. "What is your name?"
A response was not forthcoming. The snow Reyn stood still, breathing, his eyes focused but his mind racing.
"I asked you a question... Preeeeeeeey," he slurred the word, like he was tasting the word in his mouth, rolling it on his tongue.
Silence was the only answer he received.
"Speak!"
The white Reyn, dirtied by sand, grime and blood in matted glumps, simply breathed raspily but slowly.
"Fine! The last thing you shall taste is the blood from your own wounds that you will choke on, foolish Prey. Now taste death from Zaharl!"
Screeching, the deranged Gray charged.
It was a foregone conclusion that the dirtied grimy Reyn was no match for his new adversary. He had been utterly spent facing the child Gray, his body was cracked, bruised, and two steps away from being just plain broken at any given moment. He needed rest, recuperation, medical care.
The strange assassin barreled down at him, eyes alight with hunger, the need to sate and devour. To feed on hopelessness and fear.
There was a fear that grew in the wounded Reyn’s eyes. But it was distant, like looking at a far away world. He heard screams from the one called Bedisa, screeches over her pain for him to run, fight, to do something other than just sit there. For there was no trick up his sleeve this time. No drop kicks, sudden surprise moves, no opportunity to disorient his enemy and plunge his blade in. There was just the charging assassin... and the thought behind the white Reyn’s eyes.
Screeching as the assassin rushed. Rubbing as the Reyn pulled out his dagger. Bloodlust in the Gray’s raging eyes. Contemplativeness in the White’s. The twin red blades upraised. The simple unornamented dagger held downward.
The red blades held themselves high and poised to strike down, ready to end this pathetic wretch in front of them. A darkness covered the white Reyn’s face as he lowered his gaze, his eyes hidden from view... and he suddenly raised his dagger and stabbed his own arm.
No sound echoed at all from the event. In fact no sound echoed at all. It was as if the desert had been deafened from a sudden and forceful impact, wrenching from it the temporary ability to hear... until there was only a roar.
A surging black and gray mingled with red pouring from the white Reyn’s arm, and burst forward in a wave that blasted the desert with the force of a god’s hammer, annihilating dunes in an instant and smashing headlong into the utterly shocked expression of the assassin Gray. His eyes burst wide with fear as he was propelled, shorn away from his grounding as if a giant maelstrom lifted him from the sands, hurling him upwards like a speck of dust sent flying from an impact, helplessly careening out of sight into the skies.
The white Reyn rasped, breathing heavily as the chaotic din died down as he extracted his dagger from his arm, halting the unholy blood magic he had just unleashed. He staggered in his balance, lightheaded, and in shock from the event. His eyes lifted slowly, rock hardness was their expression as he stared at the desert sands, barely noticing the two dumbstruck Reyn laying nearby.
Suddenly, he felt thirsty again, dryness etching at his throat and body. Finding his canteen battered but not punctured, the white Reyn took a long satisfying gulp. However demanding or merely necessary his thirst, it was time to satisfy it. Gently he capped his canteen and stared at the direction where his opponent had flown out of sight.
"My name is Veseris Hashrim, assassin. Pray we don’t meet again."
-
Osric vs. ZeZe
Geary:
Hmm... again, quite nice big intro. The letter sounds quite like MK Virmir on a very good day, except the language style is one generation younger than him. {;) I kind of like your playing on all the stereotypes. Nicely witten, not a bad story at all, if one-sided a bit.
Said that, you also once again didn't fight at all, being focused on smartalecking and running away. I'm not even surprised Zaharl was bored with you.
Yarrick:
Okay, I almost missed that you posted at all, sorry... and well, I'm glad that OpenOffice can load Wordperfect files. So, after dealing with this little obstacle, I've seen something that surprised me very positively. {:)
A bit on the short side, but nice and to the point. Very good writing style. I'd like to see some more of a fight between you and ZeZe, but well... considering how the fennec tends to run away, I guess a quick catch is quite a good approach. Still, would be better if you'd spend more text on it, on the size of the quite nicely done Zaharl fight. Also, hmm, yeah... that sneak throw was quite something ZeZe would do... you just forgot him trying to run away right after.
Avast, me fuzzies, fer th' redfur known as Osric be th' winner! Yarr!
(Yes, worst pun ever. I owe you a soda when we meet.)
------------------------------------------------------------------
Dr. Keem vs. Banelure
Zavier:
Hey, it's quite a good piece of writeup. {:) You're a bit underplaying Kemm, there was exactly zero fancy gadgets used, but it goes quite good with your ending. I like that you teamplayed against Zaharl. Good dialog, not very repeating action... only think I can complain about is my pet peeve of repeated nouns and pronouns instead of looking for alternatives and substitutes. Me likey.
Vulpy:
Oh, yipe... productive fox is productive, huh? Almost like you've done that before (http://crimsonflagcomic.com/forum/index.php?topic=244.0). {;)
Good storytelling, nice playing of the characters (tho, well, you made Banelure a bit more of a "dumb fighter" than he really is), and you're going totally Bat-belt with your Reyn-pockets. Especially the harpoon with reel. ;) Well, I wish I could point out some particularities, but it's just overall well done.
Zavier, I really like what you've done, it shows you've put the effort, but, alas, The Doctor! The Doctor! Erm, no, the other Doctor. Vulpy's having experience, and a good paw to it. Keep writing, tho, you'll get there too. ^^
------------------------------------------------------------------
Veseris vs. Greg
Donnie:
Well... the comic is cute and funny... Opening is a bit pointless, but it explains how they got led to the desert. The meet is an interesting accent... the fight itself, once again, seems a bit fast... and ends up in a suplex.
And then... then I sniffle and wipe eyes.
Zaharl comes and gets, let's be honest, godmodded out. In a way that's sorta funny and oddly fitting the whole, but well, still. And you really should have started a day or two earlier... not that I do any better, I need the looming deadline as motivation too. ;)
It's really nice, but, well...
Yeah, I say "but, well" a lot.
Toast:
Hey, melting the judge's brain is NOT considered winning!
Yipe... yiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiipe... my poor head...
Big words... fancy language... you sure are good at writing descriptively...
It's objectively good, subjectively... painful... you like characters with inner conflicts and such, don't ya... that really hurts to read... hmm, I don't think her sword works this way... oh blast, your Zaharl seems to have quite a few more levels in Psycho Creepy. And heh... I'm gonna get slapped for that, but the ending was climactic.
I am very torn here... so I'm openly admitting I'm gonna look at the judgements of Virmir's and Cirrulean's, in hope they're both in favour of the same character so I can abstain. If it turns out my vote's gonna be the deciding one... I'll have to think a crazy lot longer.
Addendum: Whew. Well, congrats Donnie, sorry, Artie... but it sure feels better (if cowardly) that I didn't have to tip the scale in either way.
------------------------------------------------------------------
Inuri vs. Red
Draykin:
Quite good. A bit of the repeated noun stuff that I complain about so often - especially noticeable where you start a few sentences in a row with "He" or the same name... but eh, common. I liked how you played this battle with (nearly) no magic. Good struggle, no "easy win", generally, I like it.
You were quite quick with Zaharl, but not skipping. There was plenty enough of action, I think.
Alias:
Huh, I forgot to download your... wait, what? Oh... Phooey!
With double knockout and bonus impaling, Inuri leaves the arena as a winner!
------------------------------------------------------------------
Also, after reading others' decisions, I find it kinda funny we all got to similar conclusions separately. Well, guess that means they're the right conclusions.
-
I generally enjoyed this round much more than the last. Everyone put more effort into each of their entries and made this a good show. Nice job, the all of you. [:)
My official votes are highlighted behind spoiler tags!
Osric (Yarrick) Vs. ZeZe (Geary)
----------------------------------------
Yarrick!
Not a bad show. Your submission is pretty basic-- you don't really do much else than the bare minimum requirements. You do them fairly well though. You've got the atmosphere down nicely, the battle is pretty good, and I rather like how you handle the fight with Zaharl-- namely, ZeZe helps Ozric and the two defeat him together. Nice touch! The writing isn't too bad either.
That said, you could have put a bit more effort into this and made a more interesting back-story and intro. All we have here is the bare minimum requirements, and while I like them, with four weeks time you could have showed us much more about your character.
Geary, once again you start with a silly intro, which I rather like. [:) The fighting-by-not-fighting is a fun, original take that amuses me. All-in-all, this is a great entry up until the Zaharl fight.
Unfortunately, Zaharl merely leaving without attacking doesn't really fit what Cirr said had to happen. I realize you were short on time and had to cut this short because you were dropping dead in the middle of the night, and I commend you for that. But on the other hand, you had four weeks. [;) Zaharl taking one look at ZeZe and thinking this isn't even worth it is funny, but in my eyes this does not fulfill the requirement.
So I am left to decide between one entry that just fulfills the basic requirements, and one entry that is a bit more entertaining, spends a little extra effort making an intro, but falls short on the second requirement. Geary, great effort. Keep writing! But start a day or two earlier next time. [;)
Virmirish Vote: Yarrick
Dr. J. Keem (Digital Vulpine) Vs. Banelure (Zavier)
---------------------------------------------------------------
Vulpine, great show! Fun character, good intro, good character development. The battle with all the random items was fun. Your character had a few moments where he was hurt and put in serious danger. The explosion at the end was awesome, and I like how your character saved his opponent at the end. It was generally either fun or exiting the whole way through. [:)
Zavier, you've improved! You've got a longer submission here, and touch more on your character's inner thoughts. I particularly like how you had Keem help Banelure with the Zaharl fight. The battle itself isn't bad at all.
In the end, I feel. Vulpine's submission is more polished, deeper, and a bit more entertaining. This simply boils down to one writer being more experienced than the other. Zavier, I love to see writers improve. Keep at it! But Vulpine's submission is the better one in this case.
Virmirish Vote: Digital Vulpine
Veseris (Radioactive Toast) Vs. Greg (Donnie)
---------------------------------------------------------
Blaaaaaaaast it. Here we go again with the absurdly close call on two fantastic entries... [;)
Toast, you're put a crazy amount of detail into Veseris. You're not writing a tournament entry. You're writing a chapter in this man's life. You took extreme care into writing his back story, and it shows. Excellent touch having him see his brother in Greg's eyes. The battle with *all* of Greg's forms was great. The explosive end with Zaharl was very nicely done. And you even bring Bedisa in and show her powers. There's really nothing about this entry I don't like.
Donnie, you've improved greatly over your last submission. You put a lot more effort into this comic than the last, and you've managed to provide an introduction, character development, and both required battles into 8 pages. Very nice!
Over all, the art isn't as nice as your first entry. But I emphasize once again that I'm not judging art quality.
Once again you manage to convey emotion and action clearly in each panel. I very much like how Bedisa sticks with Greg as a sort of guide and takes him to the desert. Greg's argument with the mysterious voice is awesome.
Battle pages are a little rough but I can tell what's going on just fine. It's not an easy one-hit win this time, and the "finishing move" is rather amusing. [;) I absolutely love the way you convey Zaharl here. All in all, very fun and amusing comic!
In all honesty, both of these submissions are fantastic and do everything right. The only way I can possibly judge is by personal preference. Toast's entry is an extremely well written and interesting "darker" tale. Donnie's is a light hearted, silly action comic with deeper undertones. While I enjoyed reading Toast's very much, the sillier comic just calls to my inner preferences perfectly. I really have no idea what the other two judges are going to decide, this one is such a toss up... It's exciting! A huge congrats to the both of you for doing such a find job!
Virmirish Vote: Donnie
Inuri (Draykin) Vs. Red (Alias)
--------------------------------------
Well phooey. I was looking forward to what Alias was going to produce. But he was laaaaaaaaame this time and did not show. He shall be forever heckled from this day forward. [;)
Draykin! Not a bad show! First, Inuri's weapon is nifty, and it's fun just imagining this thing used in battle. You incorporate the (horrible, horrible) battlefield into your entry nicely. You put a fair amount of effort into both battles and made them interesting and exciting. My only real advice for you for next time would be to spend a bit more time on character development. As we get closer to the finals, the most interesting and compelling characters are the ones that are going to shine, so be sure to delve into backstory and motives more. Good luck!
Virmirish Vote: Draykin
--------------------------------------------------
Cirrulean asked me to post his as well, so here are his decisions. [:)
Match 1
Osric (Yarrick) vs ZeZe (Geary)
Geary, once again, I really liked your intro, the letter is just really funny.
Using this trick to avoid fighting with your opponent was very clever, and well thought.
However, what you did with Zaharl is against the character itself. I thought I've said he was obsessed
with fighting and killing.
So, it's not really coherent with the character...
The other point that disappointed me is how you used the battlefield.
You could have given much more details... it feels a bit blank to me.
Yarrick, your submission is well written, pleasent to read and for a first entry it's good.
The backgroud is well used, and the fight well handled.
Balanced is the word that comes to my mind when reading your submission.:)
Try to include a bit more of background and story elements next time.
Geary, thanks for playing and don't forget you can stick around the tournament as a spectator
Vote: Osric
Match 2
Banelure (Zavier) vs Dr.J. Keem (Digital Vulpine)
Zavier, you've done quite well on this round, your submission being much longer than last time.
And I like how you write your character thoughts.
The idea of teaming up against Zaharl is good, really.
Same for DV, I have to say your submission is really good, well written and I had a good time reading
your character fight with various object.
THe fight with Zaharl is also really interesting and well done.
I can't wait to see how you are going to write the next part of the story.
Zavier, thanks a lot for playing and for your theories. ;)
I have to say I like the idea of your two characters teaming up, as Bedisa and Greg did.
Know that if you and DV are okay to do that, it's perfectly fine.
The story is even more interesting with player parties.
Vote: Dr. J. Keem
Match 3
Greg (Donnie) vs Veseris (Radioactive Toast)
Gah! Another hard match to decide a winner!
I'm not going to write a long text describing how awesome these two submissions are.
I'm just stunned by the quality. :)
I'm going to give my painful decision...
Your entries are equal, and if it weren't for a little detail, this match would be a tie.
From all the players, Donnie is the one who got Zaharl "personality" closer from what I imagined.
So yeah, this tiny little thing gives my vote to Donnie, but honestly, if that wasn't for this details...
Thanks a lot for your participation, Radioactive Toast, you sure are an excellent writer.
Same as the others, if you want to add side stories, you can, and I would greatly enjoy it. :)
Vote: Greg
Match 4
Red (Alias) vs Inuri (Draykin)
Well obviously, Alias dropped out so the victory goes to Draykin.
Draykin, it was a very nice submission, well written and pleasent to read.
The background is well used and the fights are both well rendered.
Since it's your first entry, my advice would be to explore a bit more your character background and
his motives.
Good luck!
Vote: Inuri
Thanks for playing, folks! This tournament is really fun to review. [:) Stay tuned, as Cirrulean will update details for the next round. [:)
-
Okay, I just actually read the other two now... THAT'S CHEATING, TVORSK! I'm soooooooo keeping my decisions private next time so you can't skip out of making painful decisions again. [;)
-
Okay, I just actually read the other two now... THAT'S CHEATING, TVORSK! I'm soooooooo keeping my decisions private next time so you can't skip out of making painful decisions again. [;)
Hey now, I did share it! And we're supposed to exchange our posts before publishing them!
-
Here we go!
Round 3!
(http://img717.imageshack.us/img717/8289/octourneytablecopie.png)
It's time for a new special event!
Your duels will take place in Caerreyn and at the Relran tree, both under the watch of Virmir (At Caerreyn) and Cirr (At the Tree).
Once your duel is done, giant creatures appears, along with ton of other smaller creatures, flying and walking. and is slowly walking to the city or the tree.
You will have to find a way to slow them down or to stop them.( You won't be able to kill them for now)
Of course, the military forces of both cities will help you, and you can also cameo the character from the webcomic.
To help you, Virmir and Cirr will give you new weapons (form of your choice), a bit more powerful than normal equipment.
They will also explains that they come from the Abyss, and that is why the wielder of the sword must be found.
Oh and, Virmir agreed to use his magely rituals to help during this battle.
The final is approaching.....
You will have 3 weeks. the deadline is for Wednesday 17th of August
Good luck.
-
Cirr asked me to provide more details on the battle fields. [:)
Osric vs. Dr. J. Keem
-------------------------
The main battle will be taking place in a decent sized colleseum in the center of Caereyn, near the castle. This is a formal fight with spectators and such. Feel free to have fun with the details to suit your story.
As far as the city's defenses go with the invasion, the city is lined with cannons on the star-shaped walls. Airships might be floating in the docks at the castle, but probably won't be battle-ready immediately. (There usually isn't more than one battleship there at at time-- they are often away on missions.) Caerreyn is actually pretty impenetrable... in order for a monster invasion to be a threat, there's either going to have to be a ton of them, or they're going to have to come very quickly by surprise. Or both. Or maybe you can think of something else. [;)
Foot soldiers make up the majority of the army, and there's the Academy of mages, which are quite powerful when working together.
Greg Vs. Inuri
-----------------
The main battle will take place on a large platform built on top of a wide branch of the Relran Tree. Looming above the platform is the main tower/keep built on the highest bows of the tree. Below are various buildings built into splaying limbs, and quite a far dropoff. [;) There are going to be a number of spectators peering out of various windows, sitting on parallel branches, etc.
As far as defenses go, the Auberwood is much more spread out. There are cannons hidden randomly in the surrounding trees, and scouts in the forest, not to mention the homes of many a gray. The Relran will probably have advance warning of such an attack if it moves through the forest. The tree itself has a few cannons on it as well, but not as impressive as Caerreyn.
A lot more gray soldiers have been pictured in the comic than reds, so I don't need to elaborate much on them. There are also a few mages, but not as concentrated a force as Caerreyn's academy.
Good luck!
-
I shall update this as I make progress!
(http://img803.imageshack.us/img803/8844/occontest3page01.jpg)
(http://img845.imageshack.us/img845/9185/occontest3page02u.jpg)
(http://img843.imageshack.us/img843/1467/occontest3page03.jpg)
(http://img638.imageshack.us/img638/7936/occontest3page04.jpg)
(http://img828.imageshack.us/img828/7573/occontest3page05.jpg)
[-----------------------------------------------The Following Came After Aug. 17th-----------]
(http://img696.imageshack.us/img696/9540/occontest3page06.jpg)
(http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/8062/occontest3page07.jpg)
(http://img838.imageshack.us/img838/61/occontest3page08.jpg)
(http://img13.imageshack.us/img13/5025/occontest3page09.jpg)
-
This... is very long.
-
Good thing I started on this right away, it took me the whole three weeks to write it.
I proudly present Chapter 2: Reaction.
-
Draykin and DV, I am loading these on my PDA now to read tomorrow, however because there is still some time left, last minute edits are still valid. Just let me know if you make any between now and the deadline so I can take those into consideration when judging.
-
/me POKES Cirrulean and Tvorsk, about, you know, JUDGING. [;)
-
Osric (Yarrick) vs. Dr. J. Keem (Digital Vulpine)
----------------------------------------------------------
I don't know about the other judges, but Yarrick informed me he could not meet the deadline a little before his entry was due, so he at least gets a bit more credit than the total no-shows. Maybe next time, Yarrick!
Yours was a lot of fun, Vulpine! Crazy things were meant to happen, and you responded with craziness. [;) Magitek armor was amusing and there was a fun sense of epic battle at the end. I caught a few references, though I got the sense that a lot more refs flew over my head. [;)
Altogether though, I think I liked your last entry a bit more than this one though. But it's just mainly because of the scenario and what your character was forced to do that you had to stretch for (partially my fault... I was lame with the battlefield. Sorry!) Either way, congrats on making it to the finals [:)
Virmirish vote: Digital Vupine
Greg (Donnie) Vs. Inuri (Draykin)
------------------------------------------
Draykin, I was really impressed by this! Your last entry was okay, but as I said in the last review, it was a little flat. You totally made up for it here! This was fun and exciting! Cool evil monster things. I like the sense of urgency throughout most of the story. The finishing move at the end was awesome. [;)
Halfway through reading this I was prepared to fault you for Greg simply giving up without a fight. This did not meet the requirements, I was going to say, but then you have the actual fight between Inuri and Greg when Greg goes berserk later on. Crafty! Did not see that coming. Very nice. [:)
Donnie, excellent start to your comic! I love the intro with Zaharl, he he he. The shading on these pages is just excellent. I love how you portray Julian here!
Showing just the very aftermath of the fight between Greg and Inuri is a tad iffy, however. The transition does give a strong sense that they have been fighting up to this point, but maybe showing a little would have been better.
And also, I must apologize that I'm writing this review before you are finished. You put a lot of effort into these pages, and it really shows. But once again I must stress that artistic talent is not being judged here, but rather how the story is conveyed. And unfortunately, you took extra time into making this look *very* impressive, at the cost of going several days past the deadline. To make myself clear, I looooooove what you're producing here! But honestly, I'm not sure it's very fair to the other two contestants who planned out and worked on their entries within the original three week period allotted.
I'm not sure how the other two judges are going to vote, but either way, keep making comics, Donnie! I find your attitude of finishing no matter what, even if it's past the deadline very admirable. I could see all of these pages touched up a bit with maybe a few pages in between for padding and exposition as a nice little mini webcomic. Poke me if you're interested. Could make a nice website for them. [;)
Virmirish vote: Draykin
-
Match 1
Osric vs Dr Keem.
Well, obviously, DV is the winner since Yarrick didn't post anything.
I don't know what to say, I can't really criticize your writing... I enjoy it and I really
like your character. It's surely going to be an interesting final.
Vote: Dr J. Keem
Match 2
Greg vs Inuri
Draykin, your submission was awesome! I mean, you got everything right and you're the closer from what I imagined. I had a great time reading it,
ad honestly, when I finished, I was like: moooore!
Donnie, I'm sorry to say, but I can't compare an unfinished submission to a full written chapter...
You should have started earlier... too bad. The plot, the characters...everything was so promising.
I thank you a lot for all your efforts in this tournament.
Vote: Draykin
-
So, I'll say it openly. I have slacked greatly... if it was because I didn't want to make this decision, it must have been subconscious, as I didn't intended so, but truth is that I slacked.
I'll edit this post tomorrow to expand it, to my usual level.
Osric vs. Dr. Keem
I'll admit I haven't read the story yet. Shame on me. What can I say is that I'm quite sad that I don't really have to (I will, and I'll comment on it soon, I promise), because Yarrick didn't write his story... I understand the reasons why, but it's still sad. His previous submission was on the short side, but pretty good, and this might have been a good challenge.
As it is...
Is it really a spoiler? Doc, you're through. Who knows, maybe you'll sell rights to a movie and a computer game.
Inuri vs. Greg
Draykin
Your story is a really good piece of work. Paced right, not having any "overly long" parts, detailed, and holding on together. It's hard for me to write, as it's much easier to criticize and point out mistakes then say "why it's good", as it's the whole that's good. I'm not exactly sure if your vision of the Tree and surroundings fits Virmir's, but it's anyway a parallel universe, right? Thank you for at least trying to spare the kit, too. Double bonus points for really good (which doesn't imply "crazy detailed", good because they fit and are read in a good flow) descriptions of the Tree and the monsters.
Donnie
*sighs...*
Well, Donnie... the beginning's amusing, then it goes more serious... art is great, shading, reflections, expressions... but, as with previous times, you kinda stretch the introduction and then rush when things happen... and in this case, it took you much more time and you haven't even finished the last page today.
I really want to know what your scenario is, what's the story of Greg in this world... I hope you'll finish the comics, both this one, and the future ones, at pace you'll find time for. As it is, tho, it's a really good-looking beginning and middle, with no finish... and I think that I've got more of the story from talking with you than from the pages themselves.
I'm sorry.
Well, Inuri, you're going to have a really interesting fight in the next round... that you're advancing to.
-
Okay, here we are! The final!
Dr. J. Keem vs Inuri!
The match will take place inside a volcano, on a platform built in the crater.
All the players are taken into the volcano by Virmir and Cirr (though only Cirr knows this place) using an airship.
This round is going to be quick, because, the true final will start after that.
The requirements for this round are : Write a good intro during the airship trip, and then the fight.
It's important to cut just at the very end of the fight.
You have until Monday 12 September, 11:59 PM (23h59).
Good luck!
-
Here it is.
EDIT: Due to some terrible, terrible events, it appears I accidentally uploaded the rough draft of my entry, which should never happen, since I save over my rough drafts, which confuses me even more to why this happened. Anyways, here is the REAL entry. (I have removed the rough draft, since it had the same name and might cause confusion.)
-
Here it is, and my last one unfortunately. I guess I might technically have to forfeit since I won't be here for the second half and I wouldn't be around to collect the reward even if I won, but I figured I should write something while I could.
-
Cirr, does this round judge the winner (and prizes) or does what happens next count too?
Also, second place is a doodle by me. So you both won something by this point. [;)
-
Will there be a possible sequel or something to this? I use to always join these but the deviantart ones got boring.
-
Will there be a possible sequel or something to this? I use to always join these but the deviantart ones got boring.
Trubbol, I doubt it. At least not for a while, anyways. This one has kind of been wearing people out. If we do get a sequel, it could very well take up to another year.
-
Oh well
-
Cirr said it was okay to post results now. [:)
Here it is! The final match! (Besides the final, final thing that Cirr has planned, of course. [;))
To be honest, neither of these *really* blew me away like a few did on previous matches. But that's quite all right as Cirr specifically asked for shorter entries and gave a shorter amount of time. That said, I did enjoy both and was entertained all the way through. Once again, this is a tough call.
I really like both of these characters. Inuri is withdrawn, grumpy, annoyed with Cirr-- I love characters like that. [;) Kemm does silly stuff in a serious way, is parody-ish, dramatic. Great show, really.
I think I like Inuri's first-half, before the battle, better. It's more reflective, darker, questions what's going on and seems a better lead-up to a final match.
I like Kemm's battle on Vulpine's side a bit more though. Kemm's bit of underhandedness there caught me off guard and made me snicker. The fight was quick but amusing, and showed how Kemm fights with his mind more than just random objects. But really, the ending made me snicker. [;)
Now I hate to get nit-picky, but since these entries are so close in skill level I'll need to take a closer look at technical style than I did before. Draykin's unfortunately has quite a number of little typos. I'm just skimming it again and I can find about six misspellings really easily, and one or two cases of misplaced words. I've hinted in previous reviews (of others', I think) that editing, while not the most important thing in this tournament, should still be taken seriously because it may very well give you the edge you need. On the other hand, I'm not seeing any errors in Vulpine's. The writing is quite smooth and flows nicely.
A close call indeed, but based on my thoughts above...
Virmirish Vote: Digital Vulpine
Congrats on the both of you making it this far! You both get prizes anyway-- it's just a matter of who's going to get a pic by me or Cirr. [;)
WHOEVER GETS SECOND PLACE -- after the other two judges post their results, feel free to let me know what you would like for your drawing and I will schedule it. [:) As I said on the first page, this is a single character colored doodle. It doesn't have to be OC Tournament themed if you don't want.
-
I was recently informed that Draykin posted a wrong version in error and uploaded the correct one recently. While I do appreciate the typo corrections, I don't think it's fair for me to reconsider what I already posted. Perhaps the corrected version will influence the other two otherwise. [:)
/me POKES.
Would be nice if the other two judges... judged... sometime... [;)
-
Well, here is my judging.
It won't be very long, because I don't really know what to say...
You two are really good writers, I can't judge or say anything on this point.
So, to choose a winner, I'll say that, as I'm the creator of this tournament, I'll choose the one that is closer of what I have in mind.
That would be Draykin.
You seem to really get the mood of the tournament, and this and your writing skills will rewards you with my vote.
I'm sorry DV, your submission is really good too, but well... it's just a little something that Draykin' submission has that made my choice.
I'm not good at explaining things...
Anyway, here is my vote. ^^'
-
I've written the following (except the parts in italics) over a week ago, and emailed it to Virmir and Cirrulean. They can confirm, tho of course you may not believe me or them.
-----------------------------------------------------
Dr. Keem vs. Inuri
Vulp:
As always, nicely written, full of humour and puns.
I'm not sure what to think about the change of motivation, honestly - it's kinda cliche, but it's also kinda appropriate.
Nicely described the environments, too.
You indeed fought dirty there... I can't say it's not practical, tho. And Hanse would probably approve.
I'm not sure if you're playing Inuri in-characted of Inuri, or more of in-character of Draykin himself, honestly.
I also like that the battle was quite balanced until the last moment, despite your start at advantage.
-5 points for using Comic Sans in the RTF, tho. {;)
Draykin:
Well, your story, also as usual, is "fuller", and more serious.
You spent quite a lot of time in the "opening", and stretched the fight itself with descriptions and thought... that's giving a quite different feel to the story. Good. Also good you did have the reyn tagging along with you say and do some things; tho I think I'd like it even better if you'd have them (re)act during the fight itself.
You haven't done a half-bad job with playing Kemm, tho there was some room for improvement left.
I'm quite unsure whether "playing" the Sword itself in the opening and the epilogue was a good idea, it may go against Cirr's plans, but nothing forbade you from doing this, right?
Fight itself was "written long", but pretty short in what happened. I think I'd like it more if you'd let him try some more, and did succeed partially, instead of Inuri being just that good to thoroughly outclass the opponent. It was supposed to be a challenge, after all. {;)
Addendum: The proof-read one you uploaded recently is sadly only this; it fixes grammar, it re-phrases a few things, but it doesn't change events themselves in any noticeable way, and I've done a side-by-side comparison. Makes me sad, I hoped you've expanded the action some more.
All in all, both of your works are very good; and they damn well should have been, this is the final!
Neither of you give me obvious reasons to vote for subjectively; but it'd be absurd to try to judge mostly on the base of technicalities.
But...
With heavy heart, the vote is cast like a 15lb lead weight... and it's on the white fox of the scientific variety. Congratulations to both of you, you've did great. It's just that Virmir won't let me abstain from the vote again.
Addendum: I'm sorry, Dray... I know you'll hate me for this, and I knew it even before Cirr posted a vote at your side. That's why I hesitated and did not post what I wrote when I wrote it.
Seriously, you've done great; and considering what Cirr said about "matching the mood he intended", it may be I did judge wrongly. But that's what I think: both posts are great, but I liked DV's more. You've done great. Don't get all depressed over "not great enough". Please... :(
-
So... I suppose that means I won? Rather unexpected, but cool nonetheless. (http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk258/Cyberfoxfinal/Pixel%20art/red_shades.png)
Since I'll be at home for 2 weeks starting next Saturday, I should be able to knock out whatever epilogue you had in mind for this then. As for the prize, I'll try to work something out based on how the epilogue turns out.
[EDIT] Ninja'd the request in light of newly discovered parameters. (http://i282.photobucket.com/albums/kk258/Cyberfoxfinal/Pixel%20art/red_shades.png)
-
Final Act.
As the winner was about to get the sword, Cirr steps in and tells the truth about the sword.
It is not a prophecy weapon, not something that would save them all... it is the key to the machine they were on, built in this very volcano.
It was a wishing engine, created long ago by a certain gray fox... this machine could only activated with the sword which was it's key. The condition was to be declared the bravest hero... which means being the one who would take out all the others.
Aside from the sword, the machine itself was gifted with consciousness, and from that a spirit appeared...
Seeing it was too dangerous, its creator decided to shut it down, as the machine was ripping the dimension and causing chaos and the sword was hidden... that was many years ago.
However things changed when a foolish gray reyn, a treasure hunter, made his way to the machine and reactivated it... causing the spirit to be released...
Being conscious of its own nature, the spirit searched a way to have a wish for himself, and then manipulated the treasure hunter into finding the sword.
Many years passed and the hunter was slowly diving into madness as he could not unlock the sword...
The spirit then had another occasion, as a young bunny wind spirit, looking for a way to shut this machine down once and for all, found the volcano as well.
The machine possessed the bunny... and set up a tournament to find the sword...
And now, as the sword being revealed... The machine is about to finally have its wish...
It, while still possesing Cirr, grabs the sword and face the Doctor for a final showdown...
Something unexpected then happens...For an unknown reason the sword shatters and every contestant receive a shard of it, taking the appearance of their favorite weapon, while Cirr? holds a incomplete version of the sword...
Feeling like loosing the upper hand, Cirr? summons Zaharl to face all the others players, as well as Virmir and then face the doctor...
(http://img805.imageshack.us/img805/2199/cirrfinalboss.png)
Cirr? fighting style while being short and light is incredibly fast and... well... brutal.
Expect a hard fight...
Zaharl on the opposite hand, is buffed up to take on every other player...
So, don't hesitate to team up on him!
The two fight are separated, and no players can interfere with the final fight between Cirr? and the Doctor.
Up to you to imagine how this is going to end. You can also try to fill any plothole you see. ^^
When Cirr? is defeated, it's up to you to think of an ending and a conclusion... and it's up to you to decide what you do of the released true Cirr.
Have fun!
-
Well that took a while, but I'm not leaving this thing unfinished. Here it is, the final act.
I don't really feel like I quite got the impression I was going for in the fight, but after a lot of work and worrying I couldn't really come up with an alternative that felt better... so there it is I suppose.
-
That was an awesome ending, Vulpine. [:) Definitely your best work of the whole tournament! Cheesy, funny, and climactic. Good show!