The Aether Sword - Crimson Flag OC tournament.

[Draykin]

This... is very long.

[Digital Vulpine]

Good thing I started on this right away, it took me the whole three weeks to write it.

I proudly present Chapter 2: Reaction.

[Virmir]

Draykin and DV, I am loading these on my PDA now to read tomorrow, however because there is still some time left, last minute edits are still valid. Just let me know if you make any between now and the deadline so I can take those into consideration when judging.

[Virmir]

* Virmir POKES Cirrulean and Tvorsk, about, you know, JUDGING.

[Virmir]

Osric (Yarrick) vs. Dr. J. Keem (Digital Vulpine)
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I don't know about the other judges, but Yarrick informed me he could not meet the deadline a little before his entry was due, so he at least gets a bit more credit than the total no-shows. Maybe next time, Yarrick!

Yours was a lot of fun, Vulpine! Crazy things were meant to happen, and you responded with craziness. Magitek armor was amusing and there was a fun sense of epic battle at the end. I caught a few references, though I got the sense that a lot more refs flew over my head.

Altogether though, I think I liked your last entry a bit more than this one though. But it's just mainly because of the scenario and what your character was forced to do that you had to stretch for (partially my fault... I was lame with the battlefield. Sorry!)  Either way, congrats on making it to the finals

Virmirish vote: Digital Vupine


Greg (Donnie) Vs. Inuri (Draykin)
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Draykin, I was really impressed by this!  Your last entry was okay, but as I said in the last review, it was a little flat. You totally made up for it here!  This was fun and exciting! Cool evil monster things. I like the sense of urgency throughout most of the story. The finishing move at the end was awesome.

Halfway through reading this I was prepared to fault you for Greg simply giving up without a fight.  This did not meet the requirements, I was going to say, but then you have the actual fight between Inuri and Greg when Greg goes berserk later on. Crafty!  Did not see that coming. Very nice.

Donnie, excellent start to your comic! I love the intro with Zaharl, he he he.  The shading on these pages is just excellent. I love how you portray Julian here!

Showing just the very aftermath of the fight between Greg and Inuri is a tad iffy, however.  The transition does give a strong sense that they have been fighting up to this point, but maybe showing a little would have been better.

And also, I must apologize that I'm writing this review before you are finished. You put a lot of effort into these pages, and it really shows.  But once again I must stress that artistic talent is not being judged here, but rather how the story is conveyed.  And unfortunately, you took extra time into making this look *very* impressive, at the cost of going several days past the deadline. To make myself clear, I looooooove what you're producing here!  But honestly, I'm not sure it's very fair to the other two contestants who planned out and worked on their entries within the original three week period allotted.

I'm not sure how the other two judges are going to vote, but either way, keep making comics, Donnie! I find your attitude of finishing no matter what, even if it's past the deadline very admirable.  I could see all of these pages touched up a bit with maybe a few pages in between for padding and exposition as a nice little mini webcomic. Poke me if you're interested. Could make a nice website for them.

Virmirish vote: Draykin

[Cirr]

Match 1
Osric vs Dr Keem.

Well, obviously, DV is the winner since Yarrick didn't post anything.

I don't know what to say, I can't really criticize your writing... I enjoy it and I really
like your character. It's surely going to be an interesting final.
Vote: Dr J. Keem

Match 2
Greg vs Inuri

Draykin, your submission was awesome! I mean, you got everything right and you're the closer from what I imagined. I had a great time reading it,
ad honestly, when I finished, I was like: moooore!

Donnie, I'm sorry to say, but I can't compare an unfinished submission to a full written chapter...
You should have started earlier... too bad. The plot, the characters...everything was so promising.
I thank you a lot for all your efforts in this tournament.
Vote: Draykin

[Tvorsk]

So, I'll say it openly. I have slacked greatly... if it was because I didn't want to make this decision, it must have been subconscious, as I didn't intended so, but truth is that I slacked.

I'll edit this post tomorrow to expand it, to my usual level.

Osric vs. Dr. Keem

I'll admit I haven't read the story yet. Shame on me. What can I say is that I'm quite sad that I don't really have to (I will, and I'll comment on it soon, I promise), because Yarrick didn't write his story... I understand the reasons why, but it's still sad. His previous submission was on the short side, but pretty good, and this might have been a good challenge.

As it is...
Is it really a spoiler? Doc, you're through. Who knows, maybe you'll sell rights to a movie and a computer game.


Inuri vs. Greg

Draykin
Your story is a really good piece of work. Paced right, not having any "overly long" parts, detailed, and holding on together. It's hard for me to write, as it's much easier to criticize and point out mistakes then say "why it's good", as it's the whole that's good. I'm not exactly sure if your vision of the Tree and surroundings fits Virmir's, but it's anyway a parallel universe, right? Thank you for at least trying to spare the kit, too. Double bonus points for really good (which doesn't imply "crazy detailed", good because they fit and are read in a good flow) descriptions of the Tree and the monsters.

Donnie
*sighs...*
Well, Donnie... the beginning's amusing, then it goes more serious... art is great, shading, reflections, expressions... but, as with previous times, you kinda stretch the introduction and then rush when things happen... and in this case, it took you much more time and you haven't even finished the last page today.
I really want to know what your scenario is, what's the story of Greg in this world... I hope you'll finish the comics, both this one, and the future ones, at pace you'll find time for. As it is, tho, it's a really good-looking beginning and middle, with no finish... and I think that I've got more of the story from talking with you than from the pages themselves.
I'm sorry.

Well, Inuri, you're going to have a really interesting fight in the next round... that you're advancing to.

[Cirr]

Okay,  here we are! The final!

Dr. J. Keem vs Inuri!

The match will take place inside a volcano, on a platform built in the crater.
All the players are taken into the volcano by Virmir and Cirr (though only Cirr knows this place) using an airship.
This round is going to be quick, because, the true final will start after that.
The requirements for this round are : Write a good intro during the airship trip, and then the fight.
It's important to cut just at the very end of the fight.

You have until Monday 12 September, 11:59 PM (23h59).
Good luck!

[Draykin]

Here it is.

EDIT: Due to some terrible, terrible events, it appears I accidentally uploaded the rough draft of my entry, which should never happen, since I save over my rough drafts, which confuses me even more to why this happened. Anyways, here is the REAL entry.  (I have removed the rough draft, since it had the same name and might cause confusion.)

[Digital Vulpine]

Here it is, and my last one unfortunately.  I guess I might technically have to forfeit since I won't be here for the second half and I wouldn't be around to collect the reward even if I won, but I figured I should write something while I could.

[Virmir]

Cirr, does this round judge the winner (and prizes) or does what happens next count too?

Also, second place is a doodle by me. So you both won something by this point.

[Trubbol]

Will there be a possible sequel or something to this? I use to always join these but the deviantart ones got boring.

[Zavier]

Will there be a possible sequel or something to this? I use to always join these but the deviantart ones got boring.

Trubbol, I doubt it. At least not for a while, anyways. This one has kind of been wearing people out. If we do get a sequel, it could very well take up to another year.

[Trubbol]

Oh well

[Virmir]

Cirr said it was okay to post results now.

Here it is! The final match! (Besides the final, final thing that Cirr has planned, of course. )

To be honest, neither of these *really* blew me away like a few did on previous matches. But that's quite all right as Cirr specifically asked for shorter entries and gave a shorter amount of time. That said, I did enjoy both and was entertained all the way through.  Once again, this is a tough call.

I really like both of these characters. Inuri is withdrawn, grumpy, annoyed with Cirr-- I love characters like that. Kemm does silly stuff in a serious way, is parody-ish, dramatic. Great show, really.

I think I like Inuri's first-half, before the battle, better.  It's more reflective, darker, questions what's going on and seems a better lead-up to a final match.

I like Kemm's battle on Vulpine's side a bit more though.  Kemm's bit of underhandedness there caught me off guard and made me snicker.  The fight was quick but amusing, and showed how Kemm fights with his mind more than just random objects.  But really, the ending made me snicker.

Now I hate to get nit-picky, but since these entries are so close in skill level I'll need to take a closer look at technical style than I did before.  Draykin's unfortunately has quite a number of little typos.  I'm just skimming it again and I can find about six misspellings really easily, and one or two cases of misplaced words. I've hinted in previous reviews (of others', I think) that editing, while not the most important thing in this tournament, should still be taken seriously because it may very well give you the edge you need. On the other hand, I'm not seeing any errors in Vulpine's.  The writing is quite smooth and flows nicely.

A close call indeed, but based on my thoughts above...

Virmirish Vote: Digital Vulpine

Congrats on the both of you making it this far!  You both get prizes anyway-- it's just a matter of who's going to get a pic by me or Cirr.

WHOEVER GETS SECOND PLACE -- after the other two judges post their results, feel free to let me know what you would like for your drawing and I will schedule it.   As I said on the first page, this is a single character colored doodle. It doesn't have to be OC Tournament themed if you don't want.