Author Topic: Ty Solphone versus VirMan™  (Read 15480 times)

Jonas

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on: January 30, 2011, 06:16:04 PM
Comission for TyVulpine
---------------------------------

Ty Solphine was bored. More specifically, he was boooooooorrrrrrreeeeeeeeed. Alone in the Crimson Flag clubhouse and without anything to do, the anthro gray fox wandered from room to room looking for any activity to keep him from going stir-crazy. Unfortunately, he was unable to find anything to occupy himself. Ty grumbled and growled in annoyance as he stomped through the clubhouse and was so plot-conveniently distracted that he failed to notice the upcoming staircase.

“Bored bored bored bor---aaaaaaaugh—Ooof! Ack! Yip! Ow!” Ty cried out as he fell down the stairs. The tumbling fox only stopped when he collided with a wall at the bottom of the stairwell—which promptly revolved to deposit him inside a secret alchemical laboratory™. Ty slumped off the wall unconscious. The final *thwump* of the fallen fox hitting the ground was just thwumpy enough to jostle lose a precariously perched potion (because if you have a secret lab, why wouldn’t you leave your potions precariously perched?). The vial slipped off the shelf and splattered its contents over Ty, seeping into his fur in a totally non-foreshadowing kind of way.

Ten extremely non-dramatic minutes later, Ty awoke to a nice shining sun warming his fur. As Ty’s mind returned to wakefulness, three important realizations occurred. The first was that he shouldn’t be able to feel the sun indoors. The second was that if he was still indoors then the Crimson Flag clubhouse had suddenly gotten an extremely outdoorsy decor. The third was that there was a blurry orange spot sitting on his muzzle. Upon focusing and going cross-eyed, the blur clarified into an orange cartoon fox.

“Jonas?” Ty asked curiously. “How are you on my muzzle? Did you shrink?”

Jonas wagged his tail. “Nope! You’re just bigger! Lots bigger! Oh, and you’re a foxtaur now.”

Ty blinked. “Erm...ok? Why are you telling me this?”

“Because the discovery process is boring so I’m speeding it up. Enjoy!”

And with that, Jonas hopped off Ty’s muzzle, thus ending his brief cameo. Ty was momentarily occupied with the impromptu-yet-brief exposition but quickly snapped out of it to look behind himself. Yep, Jonas was right. His anthro torso merged with a feral lower body to make him a foxtaur. Looking down, Ty could make out the ruins of the Crimson Flag clubhouse through which one of his four feetpaws was still standing inside. Looking around, Ty found himself eye-level with the roofs of many of Reynburg’s skyscrapers. Having established his obligatory descriptions, Ty shrugged and wandered off. Giant foxtaur or not, he was still really bored.

Unfortunately, Ty’s new giant foxtaur body made it difficult to find things to do. Reynburg’s streets were wide for normal fuzzies, but they proved exceedingly narrow for giant foxtaurs. Having to keep track of an extra set of legs didn’t help much either. Ty kept knocking buildings over when he tried to turn corners. It was really quite annoying. Adding to the problem was the assortment of panicking citizens running willy-nilly across the streets and sidewalks. It was bad enough that Ty had to navigate through buildings and cars but now there were fleeing foxes and cats to walk around! Ty flicked his tail irritably out of habit, sending a nearby car flying three blocks before crashing into a museum that up until a moment ago had been proudly featuring a World’s Most Fragile Ming Vase Exhibit (the floral patterns alone were spectacular!).

As the furry denizens of Reynburg fled from the taurrific terror that stomped through their city, their collective cries, mews, yips, barks, chitters, and dooks of fear gathered together in a resounding cry of “HEAAAAAAALLLLP!!”

Their cry was answered. The citizens of Reynburg turned their necks back and looked skyward as, from the top of the tallest skyscraper, a lone figure stood. The shadowed entity leapt from his perch and landed on a rooftop directly in front of Ty Solphine’s eyes. With a flip of his cape and a dramatic pose, the crowd let out a resounding cheer as the shining sun revealed the figure to be none other than VirMan™!

Yes, VirMan™! Once a completely ordinary anthropomorphic cartoon gray fox mage with strange antennae hair, this solitary figure had led a completely normal life until a fateful day when the planets aligned and exposed him to mysterious cosmic rays™. Their strange power surged through his body, turning him into an anthropomorphic cartoon gray fox mage with even stranger antennae hair (it added that third one you can sorta see sometimes)! Now endowed with Virish speed (about normal speed) and Virish strength (a bit lower than normal strength), this costumed crusader defends Reynburg from the surprisingly many evils that wish to destroy it (but only during the summer months. Maaaaaybe in spring and possible fall but even then it’s a bit iffy)!

“Halt, evildoer!” VirMan™ cried in his decidedly un-Virish-yet-obligatorily-deep superhero-voice.  “Your reign of terror over this fair city shall come to an—gah!”

Ty gave a bored yawn before flicking away the annoying hero and wandering off towards the park. VirMan™ sailed seven blocks before landing splat against the road. Fortunately, since he was a cartoon, this sort of thing didn’t hurt him. Instead VirMan™ was just run over by eighteen cars as panicked citizens, while emboldened by the appearance of their savior, continued to flee in a manner appropriate to giant monster attacks. As the fox peeled himself off the road, a spark of pure hatred was born inside him—a spark that would grow and grow until exploding in an unfathomable wave of death and destruction. But that wouldn’t happen for some time so let’s move on.

“Hey!” VirMan™ yipped irritably as he chased after the giant foxtaur. “Don’t interrupt me while I’m giving my heroic speech! I worked really hard on it!”

Ty, with his head twelve stories above the ground, was unable to hear the annoyed rant and continued to make his way towards the park. The soft grass would be a welcome relief to all four of his paws after trudging through the hard, cramped, streets and their annoyingly pointy cars and fire hydrants.

 “Hey! Get back here!” VirMan™ hopped up and down angrily at not being noticed. What was the point in being a superhero if no one would pay attention to you? He had to do something big to reclaim the spotlight.  VirMan™ ran up to one of the many parked and knocked over cars littering the sidewalk and found a nice, unoccupied van. Using his Virish strength, he bent down and lifted...lifted...lifted...lift—bah! It wouldn’t move!

“Oh forget it!” VirMan™ exclaimed as flames erupted in his handpaw. “Stupid, BLASTED car!” He yelled while launching a great fireball towards the offending vehicle. It exploded in theatrical fashion, launching the van through the air and colliding dead on with the back of Ty’s leg.

Ty recoiled in pain (not much pain, mind you, but even for a giant foxtaur exploding cars tend to sting).
“YOWCH!” He yelped, flailing backwards and knocking several stores and light posts over as he whirled around to face to offending superhero.

VirMan’s™ antennae hair wilted. “Oh frazz.”

With a ferocious (and foxy!) yell, Ty pulled the roof off a nearby office building and hurled it at the hero.  The rooftop bounced on impact with the street, careening past VirMan™ and crashing into “The shiny store!” VirMan™ gasped in horror. “Where shall the good people get their tinfoil now!? You monster!”

Ty leaned down. “Monster? You attacked me, remember?”

“Nuh-uh!” VirMan™ protested. “You started destroying the city! That gives superheroes dibs on first-attacks!”

“Well I didn’t mean to destroy it! Downtown Reynburg is really, really cramped when you’re giant!”

“What about the roof you threw at me?”

Ty looked sheepishly at the exposed top of the office building. The workers weren’t paying much attention, having decided that losing the roof over their heads made an excellent excuse for an extended coffee break. “Ok...that one was me...” Ty tapped his fingers together, embarrassed. “I got a little mad when you threw the car at me.”

VirMan’s™ eyes shifted. “Yes...threw...let’s go with that.” Eager to change the subject he added, “But if you’re not a monster, why aren’t you wearing anything?”

“Eh?” Ty glanced down at his bare-furred chest. “Well I had a shirt, but I guess it didn’t grow with me.”

VirMan™ snapped his fingers. “Well that’s your problem! If you don’t have at least some type of clothes or accessory, how is anyone supposed to know you’re not a monster?”

“That does make sense...” Ty mused as he stroked his chin. “So I just need to get a shirt?”

“Yup! I can even get one for you, but it’ll take a bit of time to get one made in your size.”

One convenient time-skip later, Ty was proudly putting on his brand-new, giant foxtaur-sized T-shirt.

“It fits!” He said happily, admiring the shirt’s spiffy red colour. “Thanks, VirMan™!”

And with that, Ty skipped off happily, bounding safely through the streets without fear of knocking over buildings. After all, only giant monster foxtaurs destroyed cities, and now that he had a shirt he was just a normal giant foxtaur now. As for VirMan™, now satisfied that his job was done and his city was safe, he retreated to his chat room of solitude™, confident in the knowledge that Reynburg would never again be threatened by giant foxtaurs. Ever.
« Last Edit: January 30, 2011, 06:20:27 PM by Jonas »

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie


Virmir

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Reply #1 on: February 08, 2011, 08:59:54 PM
He he he!

My favorite part is when VirMan™ tried to lift the car, then just said stuff it and blew it up. [;)

Also Chatroom of Solitude... heck yes. [;)

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Zavier

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Reply #2 on: February 09, 2011, 02:34:03 PM
Yes, VirMan™! Once a completely ordinary anthropomorphic cartoon gray fox mage with strange antennae hair, this solitary figure had led a completely normal life until a fateful day when the planets aligned and exposed him to mysterious cosmic rays™. Their strange power surged through his body, turning him into an anthropomorphic cartoon gray fox mage with even stranger antennae hair (it added that third one you can sorta see sometimes)! Now endowed with Virish speed (about normal speed) and Virish strength (a bit lower than normal strength), this costumed crusader defends Reynburg from the surprisingly many evils that wish to destroy it (but only during the summer months. Maaaaaybe in spring and possible fall but even then it’s a bit iffy)!

Best. Expository paragraph. Ever. Of all time.



Tvorsk

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Reply #3 on: February 09, 2011, 02:57:31 PM
You know, I just realized...
this costumed crusader
Shouldn't that be "(un)costumed"?

Best. Expository paragraph. Ever. Of all time.
Quite probably. {:)

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Jonas

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Reply #4 on: February 09, 2011, 03:44:13 PM
You know, I just realized...
this costumed crusader
Shouldn't that be "(un)costumed"?

No, actually. I imagined him wearing a full-body costume (think power rangers, but less silly and more...Virish).

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie


Tvorsk

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Reply #5 on: February 09, 2011, 04:08:59 PM
So... a fox in a fox costume? {;)

Thanks for reading,
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Stormkit

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Reply #6 on: February 10, 2011, 01:55:03 PM
I do admit that while I thought the story itself to be not that good (I look for story line usually... this could be summed up with, "Ty got bigger because Kenku does follow proper safety regulations and Vir tried to kill him but they became friends instead.") I did find certain parts to be quite amusing. Mostly the having fun at Vir's expense. I love the guy, but some stereotypes about him are just too funny to not take advantage of.

Of the four elements,
None is predominant.
Of the four seasons,
None lasts forever.


Jonas

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Reply #7 on: February 10, 2011, 03:38:08 PM
I do admit that while I thought the story itself to be not that good (I look for story line usually... this could be summed up with, "Ty got bigger because Kenku does follow proper safety regulations and Vir tried to kill him but they became friends instead.") I did find certain parts to be quite amusing. Mostly the having fun at Vir's expense. I love the guy, but some stereotypes about him are just too funny to not take advantage of.

I won't lie. I did this mainly for the Virmir jokes  {:)

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie