Vince browsed a cluttered shop in search of low-cost treasure. He'd been making a hobby of it recently: finding antiques that someone else might buy at a higher price. The trick was in learning historical trivia to tell the story of obscure items and make them meaningful. Today, he'd already found a sewing machine whose brand would make it a collector's item for the right buyer.
"Find everything all right?" asked the old shopkeeper.
"Yeah, it's cool. Might have a little more cash to blow on those roller skates."
"Those are vintage."
Sure they were. Really they were like tulips this year; people were passing them around thinking they could hand the things off at ever higher prices.
He laid eyes on a shining crown. It glittered on a shelf under some other hats. Vince stepped closer. He'd been fooled by the sunbeams in this dusty old shop. The crown was just tin, like an old washboard, set with cat's-eye stones or something. He picked it up in amusement.
A chorus of angels seemed to sing
"Ah!"Vince dropped it and hopped back. "What the heck?"
The shopkeeper said, "You all right, mister?"
"Thought I heard something screwy." He gingerly picked the trinket back up. It didn't sing, but it gleamed. In the light it looked like brass or even gold. He peered at it from different angles and couldn't figure out how that worked. "Perhaps it's like that dress with the optical illusion everyone was blathering about."
Vince blinked. That had sounded weird coming from him. He put his new find back and rummaged through some other junk. A top hat, a teddy bear, two East German fuzzy hats that might be worth something. He called out, "Hey man, how much are the hats?"
"That whole shelf's $19.99 each."
"Twenty sounds kinda high for something this dusty."
He didn't get a response. If he grabbed one in particular it'd be hard to bargain down, so he took the German hats and a worthless fez and the weird crown.
When he reached the counter he said, "
Ahem. Would you be so kind as to tell me about these?"
The man looked at him funny. "You trying to make fun of me?"
"Certainly not!" Vince said, surprised at himself. He'd heard this guy had a short temper, though, and Vince wasn't sure why he was in this fancy mood. Best to wrap this trip up. He set the fez aside and said, "I wish to purchase these three. Sixty, I believe?"
The shopkeeper frowned, but let up when he saw what Vince was buying. "Oh, you're fooling around with that tin crown. I always felt kind of prissy with that thing myself."
Vince paid the man. Was it really tin though? If nothing else it'd be a good conversation piece. He looked at it in the light again and it seemed like a completely different material. Even the fake gems looked shinier.
He walked outside, and the angelic choir stirred again. Then a faint voice spoke unto him, saying, "It's about damn time!"
Vince turned around. "I say!"
"No,
I say. Do you have any idea how long it's taken someone to properly claim that crown?"
He finally spotted who was talking, or what. A blip of pink light with dragonfly wings hovered near his shoulder. He swatted at it by instinct but it dodged and said, "Hey, listen, I'm not a bug!"
Vince laughed. The creature said, "What's so funny?"
"Ahem. Nothing. I'm clearly seeing things, so I shall retire to my home." He shuddered and reached for his car door. Since when did he ever hallucinate? "And whyever am I speaking this way?"
"So I'm at least getting through." The hovering delusion floated right in front of Vince's face. "Listen up. You've found the Lost Crown of Vendaria! Lost largely because every single damn time I tried to get it discovered, for two whole centuries, something went wrong. No you are not hallucinating. I promise you fame, fortune and adventure!"
Vince slowly reached one finger toward the floating figment. It landed like a butterfly, and he felt its tiny impact. "How? What?"
"Maybe you'd better sit down."
He got into his car and shut the door. He wasn't sure he trusted himself to drive.
"I've hardly ever been in a car," the creature said. "Anyway, I'm a pixie. The Royal Assistant. You're doing well so far. This one time the crown's holder saw me and hurled the thing into the bushes in fear. And that boring shopkeeper -- the nerve of that man! He
knew the crown was strange and he tried to sell it for the price of a nice suit of clothing!"
Vince avoided telling the irate little pixie about inflation. "Did you" -- he was about to say "perhaps" but forced the word down -- "did you do something to me?" He set the crown on the passenger seat.
"It helps the owner play the part, yes. Can't have royalty swearing like a damn sailor."
"I'm not even wearing the dreadful thing."
"You're still the legitimate owner. Vendaria needs a ruler again! I got thrown into another world with a cool hat and figured I'd find the perfect owner. That was before it got locked away in a box for years. Why couldn't I have gotten the attention of that kindly old scientist with the kite and the lightning rods and all the jokes? He'd started to sense me, but did he investigate? No, of course he kept getting distracted."
The pixie sighed, emitting specks of dust from its indistinct glowing body. "And then the crown got stolen and dumped in a forest and found by this girl who seemed good enough. But she put it on her dog which then ran away. I can't work with a dog, of all creatures! Vendaria is for foxes! And then for a generation there was this cranky lady who left it on a shelf --"
"Foxes?" asked Vince. He was still questioning his sanity but the sheer strangeness of the situation had him searching for another explanation.
The pixie bobbed. "Yes yes, an enchanted land with fox people and a couple other species. I had a whole speech prepared to tell you how wonderful this'll be. But with the luck I've had? By the time I get to the end of it you're probably going to get hit by a bus or struck by lightning. So look. Do you want to be the magical ruler of your own kingdom? Like... Narnia. That's one of your newer stories, right? That but with less killing, probably."
"How long, pray tell, were you sitting on that shelf in the antique shop?"
"I'm bound to stay within easy reach of the crown. I don't get out much. Decades in that shop, decades in a gods-damned box before that..."
Vince held up one hand. "I believe the point is made. Where would I need to go to look upon this kingdom of yours? Because right now it seems like a... flight of fancy. And my... my diction is worrisome."
"Yeah, the talking thing. It's expected of you. Just put the crown on, already, and think of the Fox Queen of Vendaria."
"There's a queen already? But I thought you had dire need of a ruler."
The pixie fluttered. "It's part of the spell, all right? You'll get to see what I mean in a moment. And if this is all a trick you'll call my bluff."
Vince still had his figurative bet on hallucination rather than trickery, but there was only one way to be sure. He picked up the strange crown. Its regal look was more obvious now, as though whatever force made it look like a cheap toy was less powerful now. And were those sapphires?
"Do it already!" said the pixie.
He set the fancy hat on his head and tried to imagine what a "fox queen" might look like. A literal one? Some old lady on a throne with pointy ears and a rusty tail like an anime girl. No, that didn't seem right at all. Instead he had a flash of surreal insight.
He imagined slender arms prickling with a coat of soft white fur. Without meaning to, he held out his left arm and felt as though he were slipping it into a glove that squeezed him gently inward. The fuzzy sensation around his fingers turned sharp and painful for a moment as he felt his nails sharpening into claws.
He said, "What the heck?" A proper queen would have a soft and regal voice, able to command and reassure... and he was beginning to hear her alto tones coming from his own mouth. "Tell me what the big deal is or, or I shall become quite cross!"
The pixie giggled and poked him on the nose, which was stretching forward along with his mouth to look more like an animal's muzzle. "Of course, your majesty! Finally, finally the land will have a queen able to wield its full magic!"
"What?" Vince said. There was no denying the feeling of fur spreading along his arms now, toward his chest, and then the warm bloom of a pair of breasts pulling mass up from his narrowing waist. Not as large as they ought to be, he thought. His image of the ideal ruler backfired on him when he felt his own chest swelling heavier. "Oh, oh dear. That's a bit excessive."
The pixie said, "It's up to you!"
He took a deep breath and felt the swelling go down to something more reasonable, but he was still staring at some curves he shouldn't have at all. "So this is real? I would rather be a prince or a king, then."
"Sorry, the crown was meant to find us a queen specifically. You'll be happiest if you picture how she ought to look on purpose, before you settle in. And what about your magnificent tails, your highness?"
Settle in? Vince could feel his whole body rippling, but the feeling was weakest in his arms where the changes had been the most obvious. And in his slender muzzle. He seemed to be floating in a misty space between worlds, on his feet but barely held by gravity. He kicked off his shoes and removed one sock to find his unchanged feet buzzing with potential. The exact nature of that enchantment, the direction it wanted to take him, scared him. But to be caught halfway when this wore off seemed worse, and he had a... duty, maybe, to make it work well. So, then: the queen ought to have slim feet with her heels planted sensibly on the floor. As the arctic white fur spread out along his bare toes he wriggled them, felt their padding on the vague foggy ground.
And tails? A ruler of foxes should definitely have them. He felt one brush of pale fur tickle its way out from above his belt, then another and another until five lovely soft scarves curled behind him. They twitched and curled against the backs of his legs and along the flat muscle of his backside... no, the elegant curves of a fine vixen. Vince blushed deeply and felt the queen's long ears brush backward along the crown perched atop her head. When a ruff of white fur sprouted along her smooth neck and her hair tickled her shoulders, Vince knew this body was exactly what she'd imagined for a wise young ruler.
The pixie spun around Vince, whistling. "I was worried you'd mess it up! Do you know, the two times I actually got someone to try the ritual, they just couldn't imagine themselves into the role. You're the first to have a proper monarch in you."
"A monarch?" Vince said, blushing at the sound of her voice and the feel of every part of this new shape. "Or a fox or a woman?"
"Yes. Maybe part of my trouble was that I was hunting for exactly the right person. One that's already a girl and likes foxes and has noble blood. Someone like you who's got only a trace of royalty might actually be better."
"I have royal ancestors?" asked Vince. "Though truth to tell, this is at most my third greatest surprise of the day."
"I sense that very far back in your family, there was a king with a lot of horses and tents. Know anything about that?"
"Ah. Quite a few folk are that ruffian's descendants, if it's who I'm thinking of. Must I speak in regal diction?"
The pixie landed on one of Vince's tails, which she held still with some effort. "Your majesty, I said you might be well qualified because the kingdom needs magic. Someone who can reshape reality to do important stuff. Being experienced right away at changing
yourself means you've got a sense for how to do it. Let yourself be the queen you imagined instead of some halfway version, and you'll find you're really good at it. And damn hot."
Vince's ears and tails flicked back and forth in a confusing sensation of new muscles. There was a sense of some other power in this body, too, like what Vince had used to reshape herself into this weird, messed up mutant shape. He shivered. What would it be like to actually live in it and enjoy it? She could be an elegant, graceful vulpine admired for her wisdom and might. She started to ask something like "Dude, are you serious?"
But instead she coughed into one slim, clawed fist and let herself speak the way that felt more and more natural. "Truly, spirit? Would I be wanted despite being an interloper in your homeland? And... and even desirable?"
The pixie giggled. "I'm sure of it, with enthusiasm like that! Come on, your majesty; let's show you to your new home." It paused, then spoke more seriously. "If I have your permission?"
Vince nodded and adjusted her crown to sit perfectly between her ears. It seemed to stay in place easily. "I don't believe you asked my name. I'm Venci, Queen of --" She stopped and covered her muzzle.
"Go on!"
"Just so. Venci, Queen of the land of... Vendaria, was it?"
"Right! And I'm Norr, Royal Assistant. Not an ideal magic teacher but I should be able to show you the ropes once you're settled into the palace."
Venci began to bow, but the pixie scoffed. "No, no, that's not a proper queenly thing to do!"
"Well, a bit of politeness is warranted, and I can't shake your hand. In any case I'm pleased to meet you, if greatly puzzled. Shall we proceed?"
"Yeah! Finally!" The pixie flitted away from the new ruler and flew in an oval, cutting a hole in the hazy air. It turned gradually into a doorway that showed a murky set of buildings beyond. Norr perched on the crown and said, "Onward! I'll hold on tight!"
Venci stepped forward with more confidence than she really felt, and walked into the portal without even poking it first.
She emerged in a starlit world with three moons in the sky. She was marveling at them when Norr floated back into view and sputtered. "What? How?"
There was a palace ahead, ringed by high walls, but menacing banners of black and blue dangled from them like bruises. Hulking, hunched-over guards walked along them.
Venci said, "In hindsight I should have asked about the urgency of your mission, given that you were away so long."
"Well, time doesn't flow like -- I mean it shouldn't have been a problem but -- damn it, that's supposed to be your palace over there."
The vixen turned around, but the portal had vanished. "Perhaps a tactical retreat is in order?"
"I can't open another portal so soon, but yes. Into the bushes, your majesty!"
A shadowy, armored figure was trudging by with a torch in one hand and an axe over its shoulder. Venci leaped into the cover of some shrubs and instantly learned one drawback of having so many tails to get caught on things. She suppressed a yelp.
As the soldier went past, Norr whispered, "I thought this would be the easy part. I... I'm sorry. I can't give you all the things I promised yet."
Venci freed her tails. For all the strangeness she'd just been hit with, she'd also been offered magic and a kingdom to rule. "They will simply have to be earned," she said. Though the landscape around her was dark for now, only visible to her fine vulpine eyes, there was a kingdom to discover. "I am the queen, after all."
Inspired by a picture drawn by "WhenWolvesCryOut" on FA. Story also posted at: https://sfw.furaffinity.net/view/39136920/ 
