The Wanderer's Tales

[Fen]

Here I will have the names of stories, which will be labeled within various states; Concept, Planning, Writing, Finalizing, and Finished.

Concept is me working on the general gist of the story, Planning being how that'll work out, Writing is... well... writing. Finalization is the end work, it could be shown to people, but I personally think it should be better before hand. I don't need to explain the last one.

They will also be in order of creation, as they won't really have a chronology to them. While obviously taking place at different times, the times when they take place don't matter much. Some will obviously be an exception to this.

All these stories will be (unless stated otherwise) written as being the travels of Fenrs throughout the land. They don't belong to a particular universe, but maybe one will be invented around them... Or maybe they'll simply be a very early part of one already in the creation process...
I suppose it'll be found out when it happens, eh?


The Stories

The Wanderer Who Came And Left (current status: Finished.)

The Land Lost (Concept)/The Creation Of A Traveler (Concept) -I'm thinking about both of these, but don't know which I'll write fist. If you guys are more interested in one title than the other say so, I'll probably go for that one then.

Getting Them

Once a story is labeled as 'Finished' download it from that attachments thing at the bottom. This keeps the forums from getting all clogged up with my stories, which I intend to have a lot of, especially with the flexibility I've given myself.

The Explanation
These stories originally were to take place in the Metamor Universe, but not to be achieved, as they did not involve Metamor Keep, but rather the character Fenrs in his travels. While I kept the abilities of Fenrs from the MK universe (Chorokinesis), I decided change the setting, story, and other such details so that it would be separate from that universe.

Other Stuff
comments! leave them! I'd like to know what you guys think, and since I'm newish to writing I love to get constructive criticism, it is appreciated greatly.

As a side note, thanks Kai for telling me about attaching files to posts. Saves space and time.
Thanks also to Pontos for his review on my first story of this setting and helping me to try and better it.

[KaiAdin]

I was thinking you could use the 'upload' too like what ShazerFox did and append the story files to the entry, once completed.

It could save you the hassle of resending it to everyone you asks + getting more readership through the fact its instantly accessible through the forums!

(note to self: check with vitmir if this upload has been enabled for all users)

[D. Ein]

I don't know why you don't want to just post them on the forums. The Writing Guild, as the name implies, is intended for that sort of thing. And seeing how people haven't been complaining about the garbage I spew in here, I don't see how posting your stories would be "clogging" the forums up.

Best of luck with your writing.

[Fen]

Well, by clogging I mean that there is going to be a bunch of these, and if I had a new topic for each one, I would have to make a lot of topics... if I kept them all to this one, though, people might have to page-hop for a certain one.

As for uploading... I wasn't aware that the forums even had that option. Thanks for  telling me about that... makes it a lot easier.

[Lopez]

If all the stories are related...it makes sense to put them in one topic.

Review! (The wanderer who came and left)

Are you writing off of me, or what? This story had my use of heavy meaning, I could very easily have written it...creeeepy.

Anyway, your story's premise as an introduction is very good. However, there are a few problems here and there.

First, your villain. This is so obviously "Screw the Rules, I have money" See: (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitle2rgn9vunopna?from=Main.ScrewTheRulesIHaveMoney) That it just appears ridiculous as a contrast to your serious main character. ((There's a reason why this type of character is parodied.)) Because of this, your meaning that you're firing at seems kind of lost. I know you've got something deeper than "Good vs. Evil=good wins", so if that could be expressed in a less obvious villain, it would greatly add to the value of the story.

While we're on Yu-gi-oh Abridged themes, you main character also seems to overuse the Catapult Turtle Flying Castle Gambit. See:(http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/Ptitler4e1mm02?from=Main.ScrewTheRulesIHavePlot) You really don't have any reason for your character to be there other than to fix the problems within the world, with an "...invisible power..." that gives us little insight into the character. While Yugi uses real world physics in a world that doesn't employ them, you use magic with reckless abandon.

While these two main character problems exist, I do really like your style. You use your characters to portray an interesting meaning of the difference between right and wrong. Unfortunately, without the use of realistic characters, your story feels like a kid's cartoon.

Therefore, I think a bit more focus on what made the characters act this way would help. Why DOES the wanderer want to help? Why DOES the noble love money so much? Focusing on this will allow your characters to be more real, and it will avoid a generic "Good vs. Evil" story.

I hope I can see more of your world... . ((PS: What's the basic premises behind the two stories you have in your head?))

[Fen]

Ah, yes. I had wanted a "Screw the rules I have money" character and been planning one on the back burner for some time. I'll make edits to the stories, and it should be apparent when they happen- the counter will go back down to zero. The reason he loves money so much was created, but never implemented. One of the troubles I'm having since I'm still a bit new to this is separating what I know and what the reader knows.

Since I know [inert random bit of information] something will make sense, but if it never gets into the story then nobody else learns it and for them it doesn't. As for the invisible power, that fell into the same problem, and I feel bad about it, so I edited the first post to include this information. For future reference the power will be called Chorokinesis. As for reckless abandon, not so much, really- but that is a relative view. The use of it is avoided somewhat. A better example of using it recklessly would instead be to collapse the roof and kill everyone with rubble before entering. One of the limitations is focus, as well. While swift in action, in order to actually use it he needs to focus on his target, or targets. the more there are the more care is needed. I'll see if I can add something in to provide a better picture of what was going on. I do understand how it could be seen as reckless, however.

These stories began in the Metamor universe- the travels of Fenrs before he actually got to Metamor in the first place. I realized, though, that while I did like some parts of those stories, I'd rather flop some things around. Everyone in these stories in an anthro animal, the fate of Fenrs' homeland is different, and other details I don't want to potentially spoil in case someone hasn't read my third Metamor Story.

I'm glad you liked the story, and a deep meaning was intended. Though feeling like a child's cartoon was, I admit, not. I'll have to work on those characters, I suppose! Though part of it may have been my desire for a happy ending. I'm kind of a sucker for those... Thank you very much for the review!

In the event of tl;dr, a summary:
These stories used to take place in the Metamor Universe, now they don't, but the character in my MK stories is basically the one here, with some changes. His power is Chorokinesis, literally "Space Movement" in Greek. Though it is more complicated than that, it gives an idea of how it works. I'll work on the characters, and I'm always glad to get helpful criticism, I'm more than happy to edit the stories around to make them better and more understandable.


As for that question of yours, Lopez- The Land Lost is the final chapter of the land which Fenrs came from. The Creation of A Traveler is the story of the beginnings of the Wanderer. I think I will begin work on The Land Lost soon.

[D. Ein]

Since I know [inert random bit of information] something will make sense, but if it never gets into the story then nobody else learns it and for them it doesn't.

Ernest Hemingway, Iceberg Theory.

Don't let the reader know. Write around the [random bit of information]. In other words, don't write that, say, a revolution had taken place. Instead, have your characters remark that this crater has been here ever since the second year of the revolution. With one sentence, you're already giving the reader so much information: there was a revolution, it was violent, there were explosives or artillery used, it lasted at least two years, the area your character is passing has once been a battlefield... etc.

In fact, you don't even need to do this: the more subtle you are, the better. Don't tell the reader anything, just write, write, write, and eventually, you'll have enough bits and pieces there to put together a whole history. Doing this, you leave room for interpretation; and is interpretation not the chief advantage of writing over watching a TV movie? Bluntly telling the reader something kind of defeats the suspense, and every story is better with suspense.

[Fen]

Actually, I prefer to convey information in a subtle manner or provide vague ideas or hints as to something, then explain it more further down the line. My real problem with that though is that rather than an issue of how I give the information, the problem is that the information doesn't get to the story at all.

[Virmir]

Fun story, Fenrs.  Pretty formulaic, and the wanderer was a bit too powerful for my tastes (there was virtually no struggle at all for him, which thus made him less interesting).  But in the end, you still managed to pull of a nice lesson and it wasn't at all tedious.  I like the way he killed the noble.

[Fen]

A very short story, this- and (as apparent from the title) the first of many. I honestly have no idea where I'm going with the Stones part of the Wanderer's Tales, but my guess is the future... eventually. They'll probably also be written out of order.

[KaiAdin]

Hmm! A nice short story!

You take an interesting path with their viewpoint on the 'peoples' quarrels and all that, the wanderer seems a bit 'out of touch' a bit? The sieges would have been truly horrific events, with the famine and pestilence and war (and all that), but on the other paw, the issues would seems trivial to those who can live as long as they do.Akin to watching watching ant colonies fight each other.

Anyway, an enjoyable read (that got me thinking!)

[Fen]

Heh. I was actually thinking about that in a way, sort of them watching the world like an ant farm.
while he certainly doesn't like violence, it's something he sees often, and the issue of being known is still there. Especially with larger fights- the bigger it is, the more likely people are to remember it, and collect as many details as possible.

[Fen]

A new story is about to be added to the universe, it zooms across the void of the nonexistance, hurtling towards the bright light of the CF forums, to make its way into a post to be downloaded and read....

this isn't that post. this is the post telling you this, and that it is coming soon. All that is left is proofreading the story. I hope to have it up tomorrow, maybe sooner. when I escape the the horrible laziness monster.