Absurd Short Story Writing Month (AbSSWriMo)

[mathgrant]

For the month of December, I challenge everyone who's interested to write a short story. The title of the story must have exactly three words: two three-letter words, and a six-letter word which is an anagram of those words. The three words may be in any order. There are no restraints on the length of the story. Also, feel free to write more than one if you're feeling ambitious!

Here's an example to get you inspired:

Red Hat Dearth

"Well, you've got the black mustache," I said, carefully looking over Paul's Halloween costume in progress. "You've got the gloves, and of course you've got the blue overalls and red shirt. I'd say your Mario costume is missing only one thing."

"A red hat with an M on it!" Paul said.

"Of course! Once we have that, the costume will be complete! And I think I know where we can find one."

Following my instincts, I rode in Paul's car to the local haberdashery, Edgar's Headgear; unfortunately, when we arrived, it turned out the store had hundreds of hats in every color except for red. "How can you not have red hats?" I asked Edgar, the elderly owner of the store. "We need one for our Mario costume!" I pointed at Paul.

"And so does everyone else in town!" Edgar replied. "I don't know who this Mario is that you young whippersnappers all worship, but all of my red hats have been bought by other customers who want to be him for Halloween. Now buy something!"

"Maybe we don't absolutely need a red hat," I said, noticing a stovepipe hat. "Maybe you can be a cross between Mario and Abe Lincoln, Paul."

"No way!" Paul said. "It has to be a red hat. Otherwise, nobody will take my costume seriously."

I looked around the store. "How about a beret, Paul? You can be Mario's French counterpart."

"Are you kidding?" Paul answered. "Mario's French counterpart would give up instead of rescuing the Princess from Bowser!"

I kept looking around the store. "Hmm, here's a cowboy hat. Remember Western Land from Mario Party 2?"

"Yeah, and don't remind me!" Paul replied. "I have. . . depressing memories. . . regarding my brother Fred and Mario Party 2."

I had no idea what Paul was talking about, and decided not to inquire any further. "Surely we can find something for you. This store has chef's hats, diving helmets, aviator hats, derbies. . ."

"And none of them work for a Mario costume!" Paul shouted with exasperation, followed by a sigh. "Well, I guess I'll just have to dress up as Mario without a hat. But if Super Mario 64 has taught me anything, I'll probably take damage a lot more easily."

[Kasimir]

The three words may be in any order.

So we can use a palindrome?

[mathgrant]

The three words may be in any order.

So we can use a palindrome?

Theoretically, yes. Just make sure there's a six-letter word that's an anagram of the two three-letter words (like "dearth" being an anagram of "red" and "hat"). "Abcdef fed cba" would be a valid title. :)

[mathgrant]

Naming Gin Man

Todd Hathorn and Richard Watson were the finalists of Littleville's 10th Annual Men's Gin Rummy Tournament. None of the residents of Littleville were certain who was going to win the tournament and be named Gin Man this year; while Todd Hathorn had been the winner for five years in a row, the up-and-coming Richard Watson seemed to have gained much skill from training with his wife Lydia Watson, the champion of the woman's gin rummy division, and the title Gin Woman, five times out of the last six tournaments (three years ago, she had been unable to compete because her chemotherapy had been scheduled for that same day). The crowd went silent as the first cards were dealt.

Suddenly, jaws dropped as Todd laid down all of the cards in his hand. Was he lucky enough to be magically dealt a hand that melded perfectly with no deadwood? "I don't know what's going on here," Todd said, "but I somehow have ten Sevens of Diamonds!"

"I have ten Sevens of Diamonds, too!" Richard replied. "What the heck is going on here?"

Meanwhile, half a mile away, a man named Carley Garrett was performing magic tricks at the party commemorating the 6th birthday of Billy Chapman. "By my mind-reading powers,", declared Garrett, "I have determined that your card is the Seven of Diamonds!"

"Um, actually, it's the Jack of Clubs," Billy said, showing the magician his card.

"What?!?" Carley yelped with visible shock in his facial expression. "First I lose in the semi-finals of the Men's Gin Rummy Tournament, and now this? Nothing's going right for me today!"

[mathgrant]

This one will be posted in the form of a puzzle for now. Solve the missing words in the last paragraph.


It was August 8, 1879. Sheriff William Westwood stood outside a small bank in El Paso, Texas with his deputy Bill Brown. "I think this is the next bank Messy James and Rank James are going to try to rob," he stated. "If they come today, those sons of guns will be in for a big surprise from us!"

"Why don't we go inside and guard the bank, instead of standing out here?" Deputy Brown inquired.

"There's no need!" the sheriff assured. "While they are masters at disguising their faces, those James brothers can't possibly hide their disgusting odors. We'll be able to recognize their stench from a mile away, and arrest them before they have a chance to step into the bank!"

Thirty minutes later, two very clean men in clean outfits strolled into the bank, and Westwood and Brown thought nothing of it. A short while afterward, though, the law enforcers were stunned to see the pair running out of the bank holding bags of money as one of them shouted, "The James brothers strike again!"

"What the. . .?" Sheriff Westwood muttered as he chased the robbers on foot. "How did Messy and Rank James manage to mask their reek?"

Deupty Brown pulled his pistol out of its holster and trailed Sheriff Westwood. "I think abc def deabcf, Sheriff."

[Kasimir]

The James' get the Message? Wait no, that leaves T & J leftover....

[mathgrant]

Also, it has to be two three-letter words followed by a six-letter word.

[Dragyn]

All I can think of is "the bad bathed" and that doesn't really seem to flow quite right...

[mathgrant]

All I can think of is "the bad bathed" and that doesn't really seem to flow quite right...

But it's the title I had in mind. It has the correct anagramming properties.

[Virmir]

Read these. Like the cards one. He he he