Messages

1

Random Topics / Re: Thread of the Awesome Musics

« on: June 02, 2010, 06:22:14 PM »

To take a level from the absurd...

http://www.jamendo.com/en/artist/dougtheeagle

Ever wanted to hear progressive ballads about Foxfire Chronicles? The opening song from "Pancake Ferret", "Operation Wendigo", is just that. It's a bit unnerving. Then again, his whole style is unnerving. Worth a listen.

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Writer's Guild / Re: Risu's Ideadumps

« on: May 30, 2010, 12:52:31 PM »

I would side with DV, but it all depends on how you develop it. If it ends up as a dualistic "good vs. evil" kind of thing, it's not so sweet. But you leave a little wiggle room with your last "Almost." I would have to see how you develop it...

It's hard for me to make the connection with "It's the end of the world" and "There are furries now". So there's no humans left?

You jogged my memory, so I can't help thinking of that Sonic the Hedgehog series which involved the characters in an actual woodland society and such, with the Evil Dr. Robotnik living in the city. If you don't want me to make those associations, avoid bringing up Sonic.

So, give me a character or two, and I would be better able to judge this story. General overlays like this are usually a kind of slow start to a story. I hope to see what you post next!

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Random Topics / REALLY Awesome Book: "The Sparrow"

« on: May 27, 2010, 10:37:54 AM »

I have read this book faster than I have read any other book. 400 pages in 12 hours, from 3 PM to 3 AM. This is a really sweet book. It is called "The Sparrow" by Mary Doria Russell.

It involves the first contact between civilizations, as humanity discovers the planet Rakhat. However, they rapidly lost contact with the original explorers, and a search party finds only one survivor from the original team. No one really knows the full story except Sandoz, the survivor, himself. But he has been scarred, both physically, and mentally, and refuses to talk.

The official story involves something like prostitution. And killing a little girl. Both true events, as witnessed by his rescuers.

The closest I can get to describing the alien race is through a link to another comic.

http://www.messenger-comic.com/

Kind of the like the creatures there, is about the best I could do to describe them.

Now, here's where things get freaky.

Sandoz? The survivor?

He's a Jesuit.

The guy who turned to prostitution and killed a little girl.

That's right, he's part of the order of Catholic priests that educated me. Apparently they're still around in 2060.

Many of you do not quite understand the Jesuits, believing "oh, they're another religious order all into that hocus-pocus magic stuff." Thank goodness, they aren't. They're more real. Sheesh, no other priest could get away with this...

Obedience was one thing, Being used, even by the Father General, was another. He was offended but also embarrassed that he had taken so long to wise up...considering things, John was also sort of flattered; after all, he'd been brought all the way from Chicago because his Jesuit superiors knew he was almost genetically programmed to despise a**holes like his beloved brother in Christ, Johannes Voelker.

So, the first crew to visit a foreign civilization contained four Jesuits, one Catholic, one lapsed Catholic, one atheist, and one Jew. Everything seems to go well, even though we've been told the end of the story at the beginning.

What went wrong? What changed everything?

This book definitely deserves a read if you are interested in any of the following topics: Religion, celibacy, first contact, alien cultures and societies, and linguistics. Even if those things don't interest you at the current, I guarantee you'll be hooked. In short, this is the book I'VE been wanting to write all these years.

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Art Gallery / Re: Hold Me Down: Fan comic

« on: May 23, 2010, 12:20:20 PM »

GAH! DONE! FIN! Not much more to say here. I'll let you come to your own conclusions.





Thanks for sticking by me through all this...I know there were a lot of month-long lapses between updates, but this is the first webcomic project that I've actually been able to finish, and I feel pretty proud of that. Even though it took me so long that the ending changed no fewer than 3 times, and my character's expressions are still a little off (right up until the last face, I'll need to work on that over the summer,) it was fun to make a full story that had a beginning, middle, and end.

Done, with a story. That feels really amazing. I highly recommend trying it sometime.

Seee? I told you I can't make a story with more than twenty pa....oh wait, that's 21 if you count the epilogue...

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Writer's Guild / Re: Tuning (WIP)

« on: May 14, 2010, 01:27:37 PM »

A very moving story. A lot of people undoubtedly can identify with both Trevor and the teacher. As individual people, we have trouble connecting with the reality of the world around us, it's natural. We're subjective. We can't help it. But there are some people who are simply more subjective than others, and their way of thinking just doesn't correspond to the way the world works.

Poor guy...I hope there's some hope for him.

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Writer's Guild / Re: Unnamed Story (WIP)

« on: May 14, 2010, 01:19:34 PM »

Your style of character heavily mirrors the feline that you have in the other story, a sort of passive, world-happening-around-him kind of cat.

The story as-of-so-far seems very bouncy, flipping from character to character to character with what seems like reckless abandon. While this is nice, the story of Ruby as-of-so-far seems somewhat superfluous, and not very interesting, as the main story is about Mythos and his relation to his brother, and how these two worlds somehow collide. While the scene with the tank igniting the forest on fire was kind of funny, I didn't feel like it added much.

So, while I like what I've read so far, it feels like it needs a bit more focus.

I look forward to the next part!

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Writer's Guild / Re: Comission #2: Circus Act

« on: May 14, 2010, 01:00:48 PM »

I can see how this story was tough for you to write. Directed Creativity really drains, huh?

In this story, you portray a guy (who's a bit of a jerk) try to go for the sweet girl, but due to the workings of her father, he ends up transforming into a horse.

This story ALMOST works. It really almost does. That's mainly due to the ending. By the end of the story, Leon's mind has turned to mush, but now he actually gets to become close to her but without his proper mind...?

But the ending feels too loose. Is this going to happen every day into eternity? What happens on July 19th? Will there ever be a July 19th?

What is her father protecting her against? Why does he finally ask her to go see Leon after the final transformation? Does he...?

Since Leon kept helping Rose and she eventually ended up liking him EVERY SINGLE DAY did her father go every single day to the fortune teller to "try the hex over again?" Is the future that he's struggling against inevitable?

Hmmmmm...I sort of like this story's complexity...but I can't quite put my finger on why...

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Writer's Guild / Re: Collision

« on: May 14, 2010, 12:39:50 PM »

Wow, very well done. While I was confused with the initial point of this, as the story went on to the challenges, I got really hooked. In this story, you intend to portray how your characters are not isolated from evaluating the consequences of their in-world actions. So, while we may think that characters inside a story remain trapped within their own sphere of logic, they can think outside of their stories pretty well.

If I had a recommendation, I would put the Pirate's test before the Wanderer's test. The Pirate's seemed to be the most light-hearted, while the Wanderer's delved deeper until ending in Dr. Wolf's which was the deepest tale of all.

...it's like you took all of my criticisms of your characters, (well, at least Wanderer and Dr. Wolf) and turned them upside their head. Very good job.

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Writer's Guild / Re: Crimson Flag: The Book!

« on: May 14, 2010, 11:59:41 AM »

Indeed, very effective. Though it is based on the comic, I feel like I could get a very good hold of the characters if I hadn't read the comic.

Poor Kyle...we hardly knew ye...

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Writer's Guild / Re: Binding

« on: April 11, 2010, 07:41:43 PM »

Yes, Dragyn. You SHOULD. 

Good job with the story. Well-developed setting, obvious conflict, pointed resolution. Your stories are always very solid. However, it might be interesting to spice up the relationship with the apprentice and his master a bit more. Do they REALLY like each other? (Interpret that both ways) What in their lives has come between them to bond them, separate them? How does this next transformation determine the shape not only of their physical forms, but of their mental forms as well? Is he going to be able to write back with a fox's paws very well?

What I mean is, your story is very solid, but a few good details might give it the punch it needs to become a sick-nasty story, rather than just a great one.

It's a good thing you're writing again!  (I ought to get around to reading all the stories you've written...)

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Art Gallery / Re: Hold Me Down: Fan comic

« on: April 09, 2010, 06:01:21 AM »

This certainly took long enough. Took so long the pencils started to smear.



Hmmmm...what kind of revelation could this be?

More importantly, did you get the flow of the dialogue in the bottom right on your first read-through?

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Writer's Guild / Re: Moon Light Phase. thing

« on: April 06, 2010, 08:40:28 PM »

Yea I got deep with the story :P

Excellent! That's far better than what I seem do be doing nowadays, just writing and then trying to forget what I just wrote about.

However, I'm just going to elaborate writing rule #1:

Show don't tell.

It's great that you can write me a paragraph describing the world, and it's  great you know so much about this concept, but you might take a bit more time making sure that these concepts are coming through in your story, and don't just sit in your head, (gosh, read through some of my old stories and you'll see what a hard time I had with this concept. I was lucky some of my stories were even coherent.)

I hope to see more of your stories soon. Do you think you will write more on this topic?

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Writer's Guild / Re: Embarrassing Things I Made When I Was Younger!

« on: April 05, 2010, 08:56:53 AM »

Sheesh, haven't we ALL done this? I should put up my original comic...it was kind of crazy like this too. Except for the fact that I made all my own sprites, so my art was actually EQUAL to that of my writing.

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Writer's Guild / Re: The Bonds of Matrimony

« on: April 05, 2010, 08:55:43 AM »

I'll back up Virmir...your transformations are very long indeed. Although they are very good, some people might feel inclined to skip past them because

The rest of your story is so good. Very nice connection you make to the marriage, it gives the story a great sense of purpose. It's light, it's fluffy, as Virmir said, it's cartoony, but it's well-designed that way, which gives your story a good sense of power.

I'll have to say, I love your stories. Just the right balance of description with plot action.

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Writer's Guild / Re: Transgressions

« on: April 05, 2010, 08:41:18 AM »

I like where this is going...but it seems like you took a while to get there. While I like the transformation sequence in the dream, bear in mind we've heard that sequence once before.

I'll still have to say, that flashlight is the most powerful symbol I've ever read in a story. Good work, I can't wait to see what happens with the blue...fox...thing.