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Art Gallery / Re: Virmir-Cards Project
« on: August 01, 2010, 12:33:15 AM »
I would like to be on one. you know me an all. Do not care what card number it is. Mostly 8 but don't care if I do not get that number.
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QuoteYea I got deep with the story :P
Excellent! That's far better than what I seem do be doing nowadays, just writing and then trying to forget what I just wrote about.
However, I'm just going to elaborate writing rule #1:
Show don't tell.
It's great that you can write me a paragraph describing the world, and it's great you know so much about this concept, but you might take a bit more time making sure that these concepts are coming through in your story, and don't just sit in your head, (gosh, read through some of my old stories and you'll see what a hard time I had with this concept. I was lucky some of my stories were even coherent.)
I hope to see more of your stories soon. Do you think you will write more on this topic?
On MLP? like in someone else POV besides Konner or something?
*Stares at Konner A. Sown for a while to make sure that he's not being "Lou C. Pher"ed.*
I like the tone you're going for, but it's hard to follow. It requires the reader to read incredibly slowly, which drags the intense tone of the story.
I understand that it's the story of a werewolf who isolates himself to stop himself from destroying that which he values. Then he tries to stop his father from killing...? and ends up dying?...
Consider writing this as a poem. It would give it the structure that it seems to be lacking right now.
I hope you contribute more to the writing forum! Even though it was a bit hard to follow, the timbre of your story really rang through.