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Author Topic: The Official Court System Of The Crimson Flag Chat  (Read 1212 times)
« on: November 23, 2009, 09:20:48 PM »

Secret Wizard
"For the glory of the sammich!"
Posts: 518
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Mage of Caerreyn, Level 3

step one: everyone arrives. Lawyers, defendant, prosecutor, judge, bailiff, etc.
step two: proceed as normal, give case, plea, so and so.
step three: determine preliminary decision.
step four: find other decisions.
step five: consult the Great Oracle of Vagueness for his advice.
step six: take vote by campfire.
step seven: votes will be held in tiki head.
step eight: burn votes in campfire.
step nine:watch campfire. if it changes color, recount votes. if it remains the same, continue to step ten.
step ten: resurrect zombies.
step eleven: count votes of zombies.
step twelve: ignore zombie votes.
step thirteen: destroy zombies.
step fourteen: collect zombie parts.
step fifteen: locate full deck of playing cards.
step sixteen: set up poker table.
step seventeen: set up chairs for poker.
step eighteen: determine zombie part values.
step nineteen: play poker with zombie parts.
step twenty: someone wins.
step twenty-one: winner decides the verdict.
step twenty-two: winner decides what happens to the defendant if guilty.
step twenty-three: get asked why this system is in place.
step twenty-four: proclaim that it is tradition.
step twenty-five: explain that the poker game cannot be skipped to because you need zombie parts.
step 26: explain you need zombie parts because you need zombie votes.
step 27: explain you needed zombie votes because yours were burned in a fire.
step 28: explain yours were burned because they were in a tiki head.
step 29: explain they were in a tiki head because it was near a fire.
step 30: explain they were near a fire because it is dramatic.
step 31: explain that you need the drama because otherwise it is boring
step 32: explain it is boring because nobody understands the Oracle.
step 33: explain that he is consulted anyway because he is the Oracle and it'd be silly to not do it.
step 34: explain that we find as many decisions as possible to better understand him
step 35: explain that by making so many, we start to make less sense.
step 36: explain that the less sense we make the more the Oracle makes.
step 37: play poker while explaining
step 38: defeat everyone at poker because they were distracted by your explanation.
step 39: determine the verdict.
step 40: determine the punishment (if any)
step 41: go to the forums.
step 42: if it does not yet exist, make a step-by-step set of instructions for the court system.

When was the last time you hugged your sammich?
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