Author Topic: Tales of the Kitsuniverse: Chapter 1  (Read 5504 times)

Caleb_Lloyd

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on: December 14, 2014, 12:38:10 PM
   In the far-flung galaxy known as the Reticular Light, a great many strange and odd creatures were given a home amongst the stars. This mish mash of creatures and animals was in such a half hazard way. It was as if some cosmic creator decided a certain theme this time around, ancient mythological creatures. From the Greek Minotaur to Persian Sinmurgh, no creature was excluded though popularity still played a factor. After clearing off the table so to speak, He -not necessarily gendered- threw all these animals in this one galaxy and watched what happened.

   To save you from a millennium of history from a hundred of different cultures, here's the jest of things. With the help of science-y methods and fancy technologies, these mythological creatures built ships able to withstand the terrors of space. They encountered each other, and like meetings of different cultures, they all wanted to prove that they were the best.

~

    A long time ago, there was a great battle at the outer edge of this solar system. It was one of those battles where both sides had the idea to flank the other, met face to face, and then said hi with every weapon they had. The battle had contained hundreds of big ships with big guns shooting each other resulting in a ton of big explosion. All that was left now was a bunch of scraps and a residual feeling of vengeful spirits floating around.

   In the debris field of one of the lesser-known battles in the kitsune-phoenix wars, a group of pirates settled down to repair their ships. The sun was shining with a dark crimson glow was barely bright enough to illuminate the broken ship parts in the blackness of space.

   In one of the charred phoenix hulls, a group of kitsune pirates had settled. Inside the dented and busted exterior was a large open area big enough to accommodate the hiding spot for a couple ships while they were getting repaired from their last, only slightly profitable endeavor.

~

   At the helm of the ship Arekylo-5 sat Captain Caleb of the privateers commissioned under Empress Fia of the Kitsune Empire. He was an orange manned Kitsune, three tails brushing idly to the side. He wore a high-tech eye patch and a simple coat that one would expect lesser pirates to wear.

   In his vulpine head, he was considering the options that he could do to get him and his crew out of here. On the plus side, lying low had its benefits. You weren’t found by a patrol of crazy birds. On the downside, while under radio silence there was only so much to be done for work. True, the hulll seemed to be a great base, but it seemed that a wave of cosmic boredom was sweeping through the ranks. They all needed a hobby.

   Also in his vulpine head was an elaborate processer implanted into his brain. It worked in conjunction with his eyepatch in that, he could sift through thousands bits of information and process hundreds of images without it frying the organic portion of his nerves. It was useful for the stealth operations and hacking missions he went on in his earlier years.  For now though, it's main task was for surveillance of the entire base's surveillance network.

   An image from the exterior cameras blipped across his vision. Today was the day it seemed; he picked himself out of the captain’s seat and began his trot through the metal halls of his ship. With the assistance of artificial gravity, the captain walked down the central hall of his ship and turned a sharp left into the room plainly labeled “Navigation.”

   “Watching watchers watching watches’ he muttered. Unfortunately his implants could not help his joke making ability.

   Inside  the officers were reviewing data from the video feeds displayed off of pale green monitors. He looked with his organic eye at the other kitsunes at work. Kitsunes were quadruped, extremely foxlike in appearance. Many years of space exploration had caused the species fur to become bleached white due to solar radiation. As their space odyssey continued in the deep vastness’s of space, in order to avoid confusion Nano machines in their veins colored their fur as a way to differentiate each other and their jobs.  This customization however had been locked to a dark blue by their society to show that they were criminals. The Nannys also acted as the kitsunes Immune systems, regulatory system, and system systems.

   Through his high tech eye patch, the captain saw an image of a ship approaching their location. He waited a couple seconds, to see how well his team was watching. One of the navigators looked up and called back to the captain.

   “Sir, we’re picking up readings of a vessel approaching our position”

   “A single ship? ” he asked.

   “A Sune vessel” the navigator replied

   “That’s our client, open the hatches when they’re close. I’ll be going down to hangers meet them and make sure there’s no trouble.”

   The navigator kitsune nodded and went back to his control panel. He began making preparations judging from the sounds of all the beeps and boops. The pirate captain could’ve done it too he told himself, but having a reliant and prepared crew as more important than making full use of technology.

   The captain walked out the bridge and to an elevator. As the door closed and began it's descent downwards, he reminisced at some of the fun times that he had. Having a reliable crew was good and all, but pulling some pranks kept them on their toes. He visualized his past actions, which were made extremely vivid by his increased mental processing. Locking a gluttonous crewmate in a storage room with hunger inducing foods, switching around entertainment from action to romance and having work drones give bone-breaking hugs. Oh the memories…

~

   On the small transport vessel that was flying towards the pirate base were two kitsunes from the Empire’s inner core. The pilot focused in on the control panels and was deftly guiding the ship through the twisted metal field. He was branded with red-blue markings designating his rank as a nuclear engineer.

   “When we arrive, I want you to stand back and let me deal with pirates.” The pilot said as he navigated the ship around blasted frames and the thick debris.

   Lying in the sleeping chamber at the back of this small traveling ship was a kitsune sleeping in the living quarters with the half assembled plasma rifle in his paws. He wore the bands of black and gray across his limbs and tails indicating his soldier status.

   A resounding snore was heard in response.

   “Exactly…”

~

   The hangar was a large open space full of ship parts, salvaged from the age-old battle outside. The hall bustled with clangs that echoed down the rest of the hangar. The pirate crew had only managed to restore lighting partially, revealing old Nix interior decoration. Passed the line of ships and cargo boxes stand tall shadows and the frittering of roaches. In the illuminated are worked a whole slew of wrench monkey foxes trying to fix their ships in time for the next raid.

   Ronnie was operating the crane and was lifting up a couple of boxes. Earlier that week orders to get a space cleared up for whatever guest had come but there was always work to be done. That work was always the same, clear a space and make sure free of debris. That would be fine if there was a system, but most of the time it was frivelous moving. Those canines have no sense of organization!
   
   “Clear up landing zone D for the our clients. Gates A and B are broken. Well fix the blasted gates-Frax! A fox can be so dense at times”

   Frustration was getting at him, and he knew it. Just take a break, and cool your head. He walked over to the pseudo lounge that was set up for the wrench monkeys and got him a snack and a hot drink. Deep breathes, it’s just another day in paradise he told himself. They’d be boarding lavish merchant ships in no time.

   Vibrations shook the floor and sound of the airlocks grinding and pulling blared through the hangar. Ronnie dropped his drink all over his fur coat, some slipped of but most it seethed onto his skin and burned. One would’ve heard violent cursing but the sound of the gates grinding was louder.

   A part of the wall was parting down the middle and through it, passed a small ship. It hoverered down slowly, engauged it's landing gear and parked right in landing Zone B. Right where the crane lift was set down. The ship landed on the exact the spot that would make the crane useless until they left.

   The pirate's base wasn’t exactly a 5-star lodge, but some clients stayed around forever. Before he could motion them to land in zone F, the engines were shut off and the doors were opening. He wiped off the burning liquid from his arms and made his way to the ship.

   “Relax, just tell them to move and don’t get into any fights, at least don’t strike the first punch.” Out from the vessel a kitsune with red fur and blue striped jumped out. Ronnie approached and yelled out to him.

   “Start that ship back up and move over to Landing Zone C” Ronnie’s face was muddled with various oil and chemicals stains enough that his coat looked patchy but one could tell that there was a bright tint of red under his fur.

   “Where is your captain? I must speak to him.”

   “Whoa there, don’t get your tails in a knot. He probably already knows you're here. He’ll see you when he see’s you. Right now, you just need to turn that ship around and move it to landing Zone D.”

   “I’ll return to my ship is when my business with your boss is settled. Clear?” The red manned kitsune said flatly.

   “No, you see, if you don’t move, your little vessel is going to get wrecked under-”

   In a quick flash of movement, the red kitsune had drawn a sabre out of his side pouch and had slashed at Ronnie’s exposed neck cutting near the roots of his fur. “I will not take threats from a waste of carbon the likes of you. Call your captain or next time you’re dead.”

   “Haha, an empire sune eh?” Ronnie had back away slowly. He looked behind the crazy fox and saw one of his colleagues, lurking in the shadows behind a cargo box. He saw a glimmer of a blaster and then looked back at the blade wielding fox with a smirk.

   “Thinking you can just come out of your sectors and boss anyone around because of those ribbons on your tail. Sorry, doesn’t work like that.”

   “I’ll show you ribbons you worm!” at that, the branded red kitsune lunged with his sabre at Ronnie.

~

   One of the kitsune pirates' more enjoyable training exercises was an activity called “Phaser Tag.” In it, the crews would be divided into two teams and told to board one or the other’s ships. Getting shot by one of these lasers was extremely painful and would usually incapacitate anyone it hit. Since most ‘real’ weapons were limited to actual boarding parties, many of the non-combat kitsunes pocketed these foreleg strapped ray guns as souvenirs.

~

   A laser fired! The kitsune quickly pulled up the blankets and rolled deeper into cover to get out of enemy fire. Donald peeked out from underneath the bed sheets and saw his assault rifle on the floor. He had been disassembling it-or was he reassembling it- before he had fallen asleep and now it was lying in a hundred pieces on the floor.

   Accessing the situation, there was no danger here. He got quietly onto all fours and walked to the door exiting the shuttle. It was open.

   “Hope it wasn't left open the entire trip through space” he said concernedly.

   He looked out the door of the ship and saw to the left was a pirate wearing an annoyed face and who was looming over his unconsious comrade Wolfe.

   “Empire sune are all the same. Always demanding more, no time to waste. Move-move-move... Frax!”

   Donald sat there watching, waiting for the pirate to take out something, maybe the pulsing laser cutter and go to finish off Wolfe. Then he could run right up and stop the pirate right there.

   “...'Oh, you're a blank.' Yeah, what's that to you color tails? ' Well, I'm a nuclear physicist.' I got more sense than you maniac.” The pirate said mockingly in a voice Donnie could recognize. The soldier couldn’t help but snicker.

   “You realize that most of the privateers in the Kitsune Empire are important parts to the economy, bringing in foreign artifacts technologies and materials.” The pirate had no markings or brands what so ever. Probably a criminal bought by some aristocrat to do their dirty work. Judging by the stains on his coat, it was also oily and grimy work too.

“If it weren’t for us, the frontier would belong to the Fenrir. You want that?” He just kept talking and talking, so much for heroic plans. Donald jumped out of the shuttle and ran right up to the pirate before socking him right in the jaw.
   
   “Shut up you stupid sune!” Donald shouted! The blow had enough force to knock him into one of the cargo boxes. With a loud thud the pirate slid down the side of the container and down onto the ground unconscious.

   The sound of the collision echoed through the air. Around the hangar was all quiet, workers had stopped what they were doing and gathered around to see what was going on. The pirates were watching and surrounding his position, Donald knew it. He knew he should’ve brought his weapon with him.

   “I’ll take you all on!” he caught sight of the nearest kitsune around and leaped with muzzle agape and fangs bare. He caught the pirate and rattled him around like a young kit’s chew toy.

~

   “What the heck is going on down there?” the captain exclaimed.

   There was no one else in the elevator with him, but he was watching the scene that was going on in the hangar. “It serves them right, but dang… that's just one kitsune taking on the whole hangar.”

   He watched the numbers display on the lift change. Finally it made the countdown to 3 and the door opened to the hangar and the vast open space they used to store their ships.
   
   The ships looked great, but walking over to the sight to the side the elevated platform was not pretty. A scene of fur flying left and right. He saw with his actual eye that his crew was not exactly the fearsome pirates they wanted to live up to. He’d better put an end to this fight before his crew took too much of a dose of reality.

   “What are you dogs doing?” at the top of his lungs over the carnage. “Quit messing around or I’ll send the Fen’s after you. Now get back to work!” The fighting ceased and the beaten and bruised foxes limped away with their tails tucked between their legs. All of them but the one at the heart of the mess, he was just sitting out in the open looking around at everything but the captain.

   “So, you’re our client? I apologize for that incident there. They are-” As the captain began his canned apology speech, the soldier kitsune turned his attention toward the captain and stared at him causing the speech to pause.

   “You’re Caleb. The captain? Where’s the food?”

   “Excuse me?” the orange fox tilted his head.

   “Food!” was the only reply.

   Taken aback by the straightforwardness of his client, he tried to recover. “Well... if you enjoy meals seasoned with rust and prepared by cannibal cooks. Suit yourself. I figured we would get business dealt with and let you be on your way.”

   “No, food first! I was promised that at the end of this journey and I demand food!”

   “Fine, right this way.”  The two walked back up to the elevators and disappeared behind the it's doors. All the while, the real client known was lying on the floor dazed and staring up at the lights above.



Virmir

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Reply #1 on: December 24, 2014, 11:30:14 PM
This is a fun compliment to your comic so far.  There are few sentences near the beginning that read somewhat awkwardly, missing the occasional comma or word.  Also, you may want to reconsider opening with an info dump, as that information is better shown throughout the course of the story instead of through narration.  Although you do keep it short.

So, criminals are colored blue, but Caleb is orange?  And they are hired by the empress?  I'm just confused what you're trying to say with the blue colors here.

YES, you named him Ronnie.

Overall, I would suggest more showing than telling.  I.e.  Instead of telling us that Caleb has a computer implant, have him consult it to process information and show us that detail through the story.

Looking forward to reading more!

[fox] Virmir