Unnamed Story (WIP)

[Dragyn]

I was struck by either inspiration or madness, and so I have begun work on a new short story. 

No, I'm not abandoning BLotN or any of my other projects, but they're all at home, and I'm not.

So...here's the first part, in attachment form.

[Dragyn]

And part 2 is done.

Fun to write.  Hope to get things moving, soon...

[Dragyn]

Part 3 is done now.

Feedback would be appreciated.

Finally, something happens.

[Digital Vulpine]

Hmm... not completely clear about what they were trying to do, but it looks like Mythos is taking a  little trip out of his dimension, and his missing-presumed-dead (although I suspect he really just got 'ported similar to what happened to Mythos just now) brother has something to do with the generator malfunction.  Either he caused it directly, or he was able to at least observe it and knew what it would do. 

Although, since only the near generators overloaded I suspect they were just reacting with whatever actually pulled Mythos out of that dimension, perhaps resonating with the energy field used to do so, rather than being the cause themselves.

So... I guess next time we'll find out where he's been "summoned" to. 

[Dragyn]

Okay then.  Part 4 is up, and things are happening. 

I'm really enjoying writing this.

@DV:  They were trying to create an infinite power generator, using energy flux and anti-gravity.  Theoretically possible, but it hasn't really been done yet, probably due to the ridiculous price it would take in the real-world economy.  When Sparks says he's put millions into it, it's probably an understatement.

As for the rest...I guess just wait and see.   

[Dragyn]

Part 5 is up.  We've got a little bit more about what's going on, now.

...And as things progress, feel free to suggest names for this story.  No rush, though.  Just thought I'd throw that out there.

[Dragyn]

Not much to say here.  Lots of exposition, but stuff happens, too.

[Virmir]

Cool concept you have going here, Dragyn.  The last part has my brow raised, as it looks like Mythos has some relatives in this strange new world (though I'm slightly suspecting some sort of time travel too).  Fun story so far!

[Lopez]

Your style of character heavily mirrors the feline that you have in the other story, a sort of passive, world-happening-around-him kind of cat.

The story as-of-so-far seems very bouncy, flipping from character to character to character with what seems like reckless abandon. While this is nice, the story of Ruby as-of-so-far seems somewhat superfluous, and not very interesting, as the main story is about Mythos and his relation to his brother, and how these two worlds somehow collide. While the scene with the tank igniting the forest on fire was kind of funny, I didn't feel like it added much.

So, while I like what I've read so far, it feels like it needs a bit more focus.

I look forward to the next part!