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Messages - Virmir

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2086
Random Topics / Re: Shoutbox devoured by raptors
« on: February 01, 2009, 12:20:27 PM »
Blasted raptors. [;)

I think I saw this problem mentioned on the support forums.  Looking into it.

2087
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: Comic 24
« on: January 31, 2009, 10:43:52 AM »
Ha ha... indeed!

And thanks.  The incentives are fun to make. [:)

2088
Writer's Guild / Re: "Abysses"
« on: January 24, 2009, 09:18:39 PM »
Thanks for reading!

Yep, I was trying to convey the idea of someone gaining some sort of power, but then not using it properly.  Or rather tying to modify pre-existing rules.  I wanted the ending to be left open for interpretation somewhat, but yes, the End of All was really the end of all existence. [;)

EDIT:  Added a sentence to make the End of ALL thing more clear. [;)

2089
Writer's Guild / "Abysses"
« on: January 24, 2009, 03:27:29 PM »
This one is very short... Less a story and more a random idea.  I do need to get in the habit of jotting down random ideas more often, though. [;)



"Abysses"
by Virmir


He sat in the open field, ears folded and head hanging low.  The false sun beat on his fur, and the false grass rustled with the breeze.

He felt this one coming for a while now.  Edging closer and closer to his domain.  His trap.  Oh, how he wished he could turn them away.  But it was far too late.  She appeared at the edge of the world and took her time inching through the forest, marveling at his trees, no doubt.

Too ashamed to look, he turned his head and shut his eyes as she approached the edge of the clearing.  She came closer, heart full of wonder.  He could feel it.  He could also feel the rules of the world begin to claw at her form.

"Hello?" she asked timidly.

His ears swiveled and he opened an eye.  They sounded different each time they came-- the work of centuries of evolution upon the spoken tongue.  How long had it been since the last one?  He did not know, nor did it matter.  "Hello, my darling."  He folded his ears, his tone sad.

She gasped as if she didn't expect him to speak.  The language was different-- far older.  But they always understood.  She stood on two legs, cloths covering her furless body.  He was like that one time, wasn't he?  Long ago, before he became what he was.  Forever.  Yes, he thought he remembered hands.

"Where... am I?"  Already she began to scratch at her skin.

He dug his paws into the dirt, turning his attention there.  "You've fallen into my trap, I'm afraid."

Another gasp.

"I'm... sorry."

Wide-eyed, she regarded her hands as they stiffened and darkened.  "W-what's happening to me?!"

"You cannot exist here...  No one can.  No one but me..."  It was his curse.  A curse he brought upon himself.  What a fool to think he could create his own world...  And now he was trapped.  Forever.  He stood and turned to walk away.

She attempted to grovel, but her knees froze halfway, legs fusing into a wooden trunk with roots burrowing into the ground.  "I-I'm sorry to offend you!  Please, make it stop, fox-god!  My entire village will worship you!  We will sacrifice in your name!"

He sighed, powerless against the rules.  "There are no such things as gods."  He'd seen mankind invent each one.  Worshiped until forgotten, then replaced by the next.  He walked away though the grass.

She screamed one last time.  Leaves sprouted from her head and her face became featureless, unmoving.  A sole tree stood in the open field.  A false tree, surrounded by false grass and illuminated by a false sun.

He sighed, alone once more.

He curled up to sleep at the edge of the clearing.  The tree would probably die before he next woke.  Then he could forget it. Just like all the rest.

----

He awoke to darkness.  Darkness?  No, this was wrong.  The sun never set.  His world was eternal, unchanging.

He stood, the dead grass crunching under his paws.  The trees were but skeletal frames and the sky was black.  What happened?

"Ssso, you ssstill live?"

He spun to face a shadowy thing.  Crimson eyes dimly glowing in a murky shape.

"The End of All has come," the shadow hissed.  "All other existence is gone.  I tried to steal your world, as it has stood as a refuge.  But no more.  The nothingness comes here too.  There is no escape."

"The End of All?"  He looked about, finding the edges of his world disappear into blackness.  The end had finally come.  It was finally over.  "So be it."

The shadow faded.  The trees disappeared, followed by the grass and the ground.   The black nothingness wrapped itself around him.  Crippling.  Crushing.  He closed his eyes and waited for it to claim him as well.

Was this what it was like to not exist?  He waited in the abyss, the coldness binding him.  Unmoving.  Unchanging.  Another eternity of nothing... how was this any different from his world?  Despair welled in his heart.  So it wasn't the end after all...

He opened his eyes after a long while, watching luminescent silvery paws float in the void.  No, he most certainly did still exist. But the rules-- the rules were gone.  His mistakes and failures were gone.  Nothing existed but him.  The slate was clean.

He could try again.

But no, this time it could be different.  Not a pocket dimension.  Not a prison.  But a real world. Determination welled in his heart.  He opened his mouth and bellowed.

"Let there be light!"

2090
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: January 12, 2009, 09:38:42 PM »
I do usually have a picture in mind, but oftentimes I just go with what "comes out" if it looks okay. [:)

2091
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: January 11, 2009, 10:14:07 PM »
He he he... one of the reasons I named them "reyan" for this story. [;)

2092
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: January 11, 2009, 10:34:53 AM »
Ha ha, that it does.  Cool stuff!  I used to mess with MS Paint long ago, but Photoshop has spoiled me. [;)

2093
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: January 10, 2009, 11:06:29 AM »
Who, Gavin?  He should look similar to the three-tail, except smaller and younger.  Sort of like this guy when in morphic (bipedal) form. I pictured him with more a dull brownish fur as opposed to brilliant red (since he has less magical power).  I meant to include that detail in there somewhere but I think I glossed over it, so have to sneak it in somewhere else now. [;)

2094
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: Comic 21 -- 1-10-09
« on: January 10, 2009, 10:59:19 AM »
Ha ha!

Nice. [;)

2095
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: January 09, 2009, 09:06:40 PM »
Wow!  That's really cool stuff!  Do you have an art gallery somewhere?  I'd love to see more of your stuff. [:)

I think the "Added Glowyness" gem is closest to how I picture Gavin's lifestone in my mind, he he he.  And yes, we will get to meet the lelran eventually.

The next part will probably be a little slow in coming because my writing energies will be mostly focused on the comic script for the next two weekends.  But I do the next part largely worked out in my mind, so stay tuned. [:)

2096
Website and Technical Discussion / Re: Welcome!
« on: January 06, 2009, 08:08:07 PM »
Not-so-friendly?! *shrinks back*

Glad to see you made it in, Syrius. [:)

2097
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: December 31, 2008, 10:00:52 PM »
Ha ha, yes it does!  I don't know about first, but you are right in that I was trying to make the impression that it's strange for inhabitants of that world not to know about simple things like mana berries. [;)

2098
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: December 31, 2008, 05:23:53 PM »
Thanks, Pontos!

I'm not sure what you mean by precedent. If you mean that Radis knew Gavin was going to have a miserable time, then yes, he certainly did. [;)

2099
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: December 28, 2008, 05:30:46 PM »
Going to see if I can bang together a new part every few weeks. [:)

----

Part 2

Gavin did a double-take.  But his new nose and eyes weren't lying.  They were berries!

And they glowed!

Before him a gnarled vine twisted around the base of a giant oak.  Bunches of yellow berries clung to the foliage in regular intervals as the stem spiraled up the tree.  And each berry shimmered in the shade, golden points of light dancing around the tiny fruit.  He'd never seen anything like it!

Their sweet aroma caused his mouth to water, and he plucked his lifestone out of his muzzle to catch a better whiff.  Could such a marvelous plant belong to someone out here?  Well, no one was around...  He picked one of the berries and studied the sparkling fruit.  Held between two clawtips, it was half the size of a grape. Or rather seemed that way.  His body was smaller now, so his scale was off.

He had no way of telling if the fruit was safe to eat, but his rumbling belly insisted he try.  Tentatively he chewed up the fleshy sweet gem and grinned as it tickled his taste buds.  It was good! A ferocious hunger stirred within him and he plucked more of the sweet treasures, gulping them one by one.  For once his worries faded, and he reveled in the warmth growing in his stomach.

Having cleared all the berries within reach, he staggered over to the other side of the tree to continue his glorious feast.  The world spun around him with each step, and he giggled as he tripped over some loose vines.  They were so good!  Finding another batch, he tore into them with an insatiable appetite.  Each bite of the sparkling fruit brightened his mood and strengthened the giddy warmth that filled his belly.

Soon the second batch was gone.  Or was it the third or fourth?  He tried to find more, but shapes spun around his head.  He waved the black blur that was his hand in front of his face and laughed.  He thought he saw more of the wondrous yellow specs float past, but as he reached out to grab them he fell backwards into the bushes.  So many colors!  He laughed as weird blobs danced across his field of vision.  His eyes grew heavy as he lay in such a comfortable position, and darkness quickly came.

----

Voices swirled around his mind.  Echoing, screeching things.  He drew a quick breath as consciousness returned to him, his muzzle so painfully dry.  His head hurt and he felt as if he'd drunk too much the night before.  Jagged ridges poked his back as he lay there and a musty dampness assaulted his nostrils.  What happened?

He saw rock above him, as if he rested in some sort of tunnel.  He doubted he could sit up without banging his head.  But he couldn't sit up at all!  Something bound his neck to the ground, and rustling his hands and legs proved them to be bound together as well.  Was he tied up?

His eyes darted around as panic welled in his chest.

"It's awake!  It's awake!" 

He flattened his ears as something screamed shrilly.  He caught a glimpse of movement to his left, but it was gone by the time he turned his head.  He seemed to be in some sort of cave-- a tiny tunnel rather.  Two holes opened in the wall to his left, both twisting into darkness.  Between them stood a single torch, so small it was but a candle flame.  Orange light danced upon the craggy rock walls.  The walls closed in around him on all other sides, as he rested in a sort of nook in the tunnel.

"The reyan is awake ye say?"

The voice echoed from deep within one of the holes, and his ear twisted to pick it up.  This one was less high pitched, sounding more like a miserly old man. "Stay away from it!  I'm coming! I'm coming!"  It still had an inhuman screech to it that made him grit his teeth.

From the closer tunnel burst a yellow figure, hobbling on a tree twig like a cane.  Perhaps eight inches tall, it looked like some sort of ferret or prairie dog, thick tail lashing behind.

And it had his lifestone.

Gavin tensed as he watched the stone under the creature's arm, a deep emptiness welling in his heart.  How could he be so foolish!?

"Oh, ye want this, do ye?"  The ferret-thing wagged his twig at Gavin's nose, precious lifestone tucked against his side. It was nearly too large for the frail creature to carry.  His graying muzzle cracked in a smile.  "Ye owe me a wish."

Gavin's jaw dropped.  "But-- but... I don't know any magic!"  He struggled against his bindings.

"Ye lie!  Ye lie!!"  The old creature threw his cane to the side and grabbed the dimly glowing orb with both hands, long claws wrapping around the delicate glass.  "Don't ye lie to me, reyan!"

At the same time, something grabbed Gavin's heart.  He gasped in pain and collapsed to the floor as every ounce of strength left him.  It hurt so badly!

"Ye owe me a wish!"  The yellow ferret-thing stamped the ground irately.

Through blurred eyes, Gavin saw another creature enter the room, fur more towards a yellow green.  "Father, stop.  I think it speaks the truth."  She picked the discarded twig-cane off the ground.  At least he thought it was a she, as her voice was higher.  "It only has one tail."

The graying ferret loosened his grip and held the gem with one claw.  It was huge in his tiny hands.  "I know that.  But I am its master now."  He grabbed the cane from his daughter and poked Gavin's nose.  "It shouldn't talk back!  Ye hear that!  Ye hear that!" 

Gavin's lips wanted to curl in a snarl, but he forced them back down.  "Y-yes..."  His heart thrashed against his chest.  He just wanted to escape!

"Good, and ye will grant me my wish?"

"Yes..."  A wish?  How was he going to grant a wish?  Tears came to his eyes.

"Good.  Now what were ye doing gorging yerself on mana berries if ye don't know magic?  Eh? Eh?"  The twig tapped Gavin's nose again.

Mana berries...?  Those glowing things!  Just the thought of them made his stomach grumble for more.  Those, sweet, delicate... No!  They were like some drug!  "I don't know!"

A few high-pitched chuckles sounded across the echoey room.  More of the creatures watched from the safety of the tunnel mouths.  "He doesn't know... he he he..."

"Even the stupidest know to stay away from mana berries, fatso."  The eldest poked him in his belly. "But 'tis alright.  If ye don't want to show yer magic, that's fine.  So long as the wish is done."  The ferret twirled with dignified grace, and pushed his twig-cane through the growing crowd of yellow to yellow-green furred little beasts.

Blinking at the odd comment, Gavin moved his tightly bound arms to the side to look at his white-furred belly.  He had always been a skinny fellow, and that trait had followed him when he became a reyan.  But his stomach did seem to stick out more than it did before...  In fact, he could still feel the warm, sweet delicacies deep within-- Argh!!

"Do you think it will be alright if it can't use magic?"  A scratchy voice asked.

"The lelran will use magic against it!"  Another one sounded.

"Pah!  Just look at it!"  The elder turned and pointed at Gavin's muzzle once more.  "Those massive teeth!  Those wicked claws!  It's a monster!  Revenge is ours..."  With that, he disappeared into the left tunnel, the entourage of ferret-things following.  "Leave it be!  Don't talk to it.  Don't touch it.  Don't go near it..."  His voice echoed and died down the corridor.

Gavin watched their bright yellow tails disappear into the darkness.  Revenge?  Just what would they have him do?  Gavin trembled.  Did they want him to fight?  To kill someone?  He was afraid to ask, lest the creature squeeze his lifestone again.

His lifestone... he felt it pulled away, his body growing colder and colder as the distance grew.  What if the elder ferret-thing dropped or scratched it?  What if he took it too far away?  What if Gavin couldn't grant the wish?  Misery engulfed the young reyan as he lay in the dank tunnel room, bound and hopeless.

2100
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: December 09, 2008, 08:22:53 PM »
Thanks, folks!  I do have a lot of scenes dreamed up in my head for what's to come out of this.  Maybe I'll poke at it some more this weekend. [:)

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