Here it is! This is the moment!
That strange time where you make all the foxes, and have them steal increasingly ludicrous loot.
There is, however, a desperate lack of foxes, and gryphons, and other critters from your end of the internet. This Need Fixing. *tails*
------------"Send a thief to catch a thief. That way, whomever screws up, you win."
- Constable Merkle, hours before his bacon was stolen in protest.
Welcome to SPIRE, home of THE COOL PEOPLE. Where men are real men(usually), women are real women(unless they're not), and tourists should know better. This interdimensional city has seen all the Strange Things over the years. While most are content to stay on the tourist deck, and get on board their next flight, those that live in Spire know there is all sorts of wonder waiting to be found. Some of it is messier than others.
For indeed, anything can be found in Spire, should you be willing to pay the price. And for those who can't, there are the Thieves. The poor street urchins don't really meet the mark, and those silly pickpockets at the boarding platforms have no sense of scale. No, for a place that has everything, one must be Creative in what one steals.
YOU(yes you) are a member of a glorious band of thieves. Real thieves, mind you. While you usually stick to stealing from the mundane wares, taking the odd job that comes by, the crew seems to be in a bit of a kerfluffle. You see, you've been Noticed. Okay, so you were really drunk that night, but somehow you managed to make off with an extradimensional pocket. These sorts of things are not only kept closely guarded(as they let the mysterious overlords plot out real-estate), but they aren't even really kept physically at all. You seem to have stolen something thoroughly intangible, and this qualifies you to be a MASTER THIEF.
Messages are coming in. Orders, it seems. This person wants you to steal a diplomat's dignity, so he doesn't come back. This person wants you to steal the recipes of a grand restaurant, right out of the chef's head(so they go out of business, you see). This little girl wants you to steal her! She is, of course, a baby dragon who really shouldn't be walking out by herself, but hey! How often do you get to steal one of those?
Whatever you choose, it is clear. Your lives are about to be Interesting. That is the sort of phrase you never want to hear from a narrator, by the way.
Greet! It is time to be exuberant! Everybody loves a heist, you see, and your lives would be greatly enriched by performing all manner of bizarre heists. It is time to assemble THE TEAM. The "best" team. One that will steal all the things, and most importantly: have fun doing it.
You have been a member of your little thief guild, but now you are Main Characters, which carries a heavy burden. You will have to take chances. Make mistakes! Get messy. People expect great things from you, and if you are to disappoint, you should do so spectacularly.Name:
Both a casual name and a codename. You get to pick your own codename. Thus, it's probably silly.Race:
What are you? Spire has a lot of things. Humans! Elves. Space Weasels. Wigglesnakes. Slime people. Note the progression of weirdness. There are so many things you can be, so do not feel limited. I do so love the monstery folks.Gender:
Most thieves are young! The older ones are relegated to teaching younger thieves and telling you about the olden days of larceny.Talent:
This is your moment! Anyone can learn skills, but THIS. This is you. This is the thing you do, and you do in a way that awes. Are you a fire mage? Can you swipe goodies without anyone noticing? Are you a pinpoint throwing expert? Acrobatic ninja? Extreme whip enthusiast? Give a few words as to what you can do The Best.Skills:
Unlike Talents, these are what you have learned. You may have learned the ninja craft, but will never be as good as the Talented Ninja. Still, it helps. You have THREE of these. Choose wisely.Ambitions:
These are things that you enjoy doing! You may not do them very well. You are, however, knowledgeable about them, which is helpful I guess. Unlike skills, these can often be superfluous. Are you a fashion expert? Do you love to be a Smooth Talker? Skateboard? Card tricks. Pick TWO of these.Failings:
These things you are bad at. You Get Lost Easily. Perhaps you are Immune to Manners. You easily catch diseases. Something of the sort. You have THREE of these. Choose one of them, however, to be a Failing that your character enjoys doing anyway. You love exploring new spaces, even if it gets you lost.
------------Comical Expanding Race Idea List
Human, Elf, DOGGY, Doggy person, Kitty person!, Satyr, Centaur, Landshark, Cephlapod, Lizard Wizard, Bunny Person, Orc, Minotaur, Harpy, Batling, Tiefling, Slime, Synth, Wigglesnake, Space Weasel, Ratfolk, Lil'Dragon, Eastern Dragon, Featherdragon, BEE PERSON, Mothman, Sprite, Kitsune, Zombie, Skeleton, Pony, Gryphon, Incubus/Succubus, Cookie Monster, Cotton Candy Monster, Humanoid Stuffed Animal, Chimera, Freelance Familiar...Questions about Spire, Answered!Tech Level:
Steampunk Artificery. Common magic is common. Talent level magic is rare and impressive. If there are laser guns, that is most likely sufficiently applied magic. Spire does not really have cars, because of its large pedestrian nature. Little open-air streetcar things(with hovering enchantment for soothing ride) can be seen in the better levels.Levels:
You are based on the TOURIST level, which is about midway up the spire. This level is open to anyone, regardless of station. That said, it also tends to have more police, so that actual tourists don't get robbed blind. Levels above you fade into nothingness when you look at them, the further up you look. Thus, you can see a few stories up, but things like the ceiling to the level is just the night sky until you get close. Some places, the floors are see through, so you can look down on the indigents and feel pleased.
Level Order(of the ones you know of, there might be more!) Apex Level:
Spooky. You've never even met someone who's been up here. It might just be a myth. Citadel Level:
If you have to ask the price for entry, it's not for you. You can't afford it. Progress Level:
The top artificers, mages, and other paragons of creation work here. It's high up, so you don't touch anything and break it. Estates:
Where the only moderately rich people live. Giant residential and business section. Templestia Level:
Religiousity! All the cool shrines are here, and occasionally the odd demigod. The temples tend to police their own. With fire. And public humiliation. But mostly fire. Bylbiothica Level:
Schools, libraries, museums, repositories of non-forbidden knowledge. Students with illegal school projects can be found here, as can the better hospitals. Tourist Level:
You are here! Gosh. Agora Level:
Farming! Foodstuffs that have not yet been packaged for sale. Hephaestus Level:
Manufacturing and tradework. It's sweaty. Croftes Level:
Where the poor people live. Be advised that they don't take kindly to you mocking their situation. And why would you anyway? Rude. Protuberance Level:
It's not really a level. These pipes go everywhere, supporting the structure and funneling stuff. They are heavily guarded against living materials, and most forms of undead and robots. Do not take a joy ride in the pneumatic tubes. That leads to death.