You start off with a peaceful scene, that I assume is to inspire feelings of tranquility. You even enter into the perspective of the deer, "...especially delicious there," for a brief spell. Then, when you end the paragraph, you make it seem like there is no more war, and the world has achieved peace. This is a land that has OVERCOME violence.
The next two paragraphs are essentially a battle scene.
But the way you did the last pargraph was extraordinary. By taking the structure of the original peaceful paragraph and simply altering the descriptors, a whole new scene is created with exactly the same nouns.
Sooooo...what are you trying to say here? Well, one could say that you mean to show how the destructive and transformative power of war, that no sense of peace can avert it, but I think you go further than that. Instead, you claim that the world functions on a cycle of war and peace. This is an endless cycle, and nothing can be done to stop it, "Once...there was war(peace) here." The metal will remain, forever calling upon war, even through peacetime.
Annnnnd....we can do nothing to stop it? I know there's something a litter deeper here, but I'm not quite catching it.
I'll give it some thought.
((The REAL question is: What happened to the fawn's mother?"))