Author Topic: Ring.  (Read 14301 times)

MHD

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on: June 25, 2009, 09:36:17 PM
Ring

“I think they will destroy each other without intervention.”
 “No. I definitely believe that with a big enough world, nothing will happen.”
 “They why don't we go test our theories?”
 “Where should we find a world large enough for my calculations?”
 “We'll make one. A ring encircling an everlasting star.”
 “What if they destroy themselves?”
 “What if they do? We can make it best out of a thousand and one?”
 “That will take an awfully long time. I reckon the 'verse would end beforehand.”
 “Then we just put it in a pocket 'verse.”
 “OK. Fine. You win but is still think it is a marvelous waste of energy...”
 “Let's go have some fun.”

As we scroll down through the 'verses from the ripping edge, we find that they do not differ much in composition. But in 'verse No. -62 we find a small bulge in the lower Grid. If we pass though that bulge we arrive in a small artificial 'verse with only twenty nine stars a few parsec's apart. All of the stars are everlasting, fueled by a Grid-rift in their core. This verse in it self is so small that if you travel in anyone direction for one hundred and twenty-one parsec's you will find yourself where you started. In this place the laws of physics is heavily altered. The speed of light itself is many hundred times higher than the average and because this verse is encapsulated in the Grid, there's a certain energy flow through it found nowhere else. Around one of the smaller stars we find a solid ring constructed from ultra-dense materials. Spinning at approx. sixty-five kilometers per second, with what would have been an eternal day if not for sequentially light dimming mechanisms in the rings atmospheric architecture. On this moderate world which could house a fill scale map of a standard sized 1g planet six and a half million times.


-----------------------------------------------------

Small introduction to a new universe I've created. Magic and weird science fantasy ensues.

Feel free to use this base idea. You might wanna read Iain M. Banks' Culture series to undestand the techno babble, but anyway.

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Virmir

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Reply #1 on: June 25, 2009, 09:42:03 PM
Quotes start off interesting.  The decent into technobabble makes my eyes glaze over, though. [;)  Too early to say much, but will read more. [:)

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MHD

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Reply #2 on: June 25, 2009, 10:36:24 PM
Lemme brak that chunk down for you:


As we scroll down (bubble theory) through the 'verses (multiverse theory) from the ripping edge (big rip theory), we find that they do not differ much in composition. But in 'verse No. -62 (reference, 62 'verses younger than the reference) we find a small bulge in the lower Grid (a 'pocket'). If we pass though that bulge we arrive in a small artificial 'verse with only twenty nine stars a few parsec's (1 parsec = 1.5 lightyears) apart. All of the stars are everlasting, fueled by a Grid-rift (energy tapped from the universe barriers) in their core. This verse in it self is so small that if you travel in anyone direction for one hundred and twenty-one parsec's you will find yourself where you started (hypersphere universe theory). In this place the laws of physics is heavily altered. The speed of light itself is many hundred times higher than the average (c = 3*10^8 m/s) and because this verse is encapsulated in the Grid, there's a certain energy flow through it (mana?) found nowhere else. Around one of the smaller stars we find a solid ring constructed from ultra-dense materials. Spinning at approx. sixty-five kilometers per second (calculated), with what would have been an eternal day if not for sequentially light dimming mechanisms in the rings atmospheric architecture. On this moderate world which could house a full scale map of a standard sized 1g planet six and a half million times (1.5 AU * 2 * pi * 10 000 meters, I might alter the sizes).

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Stormkit

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Reply #3 on: June 26, 2009, 01:52:31 AM
Ah, but what LIVES there? What HAPPENS in this pocket verse? Altered laws of physics are fun and all, but what does it MEAN?

Of the four elements,
None is predominant.
Of the four seasons,
None lasts forever.


Lopez

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Reply #4 on: June 26, 2009, 07:52:44 AM
I'll...have to ally myself with Stormkit, here. But, you might make a good textbook writer. o.o

...but that's just my opinion, so don't let it bother you too much!


D. Ein

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Reply #5 on: June 26, 2009, 03:22:11 PM
Interest-capturing start. I don't agree with the two gentlemen above, as this is not a story - this is an introduction to a story. We will find out later what lives in this place, what altered physics mean, and what happens in the 'verse.

There are three points where I recommend revision: first, carefully re-read your work for grammar and spelling - like "In this place the laws of physics is heavily altered". There will be those who will yell at me for being fussy over small things like that. To me, however, faulty grammar and spelling turns the piece into a parody - if it had any seriousness, consistently bad language takes all of that seriousness away.

The second point partly has to do with Virmir's concern - the technical aspect of the story. Personally, I am not a physics theorist. If this is a piece for physics theorists, then I'm sure they will enjoy it, but I found myself skimming the second part of the last paragraph - I simply couldn't keep up with what you were saying (even after the breakdown). You could always do what the Strugatski brothers do: throw a wobbling blob of technobabble at the reader and subsequently suck it apart through smaller conversations or paragraphs, so that even the village idiot will suddenly feel like he has a university degree, because he understands what was written. If you can do that, then you already have half of an amazing piece, which is both interesting and accessible. But in order to do that, you need to break the technobabble apart into manageable, swallowable chunks. What's an explanation worth if your reader doesn't even read the original text?

The last point, then: keep in mind the science you are creating. You go through an amazingly intricate description of the universe. However, the only purpose it serves (to me) is a scientific explanation for whatever kind of magic you will have taking place in your world. Ironically, that's the part that isn't clear. "...because this verse is encapsulated in the Grid, there's a certain energy flow through it (mana?) found nowhere else." - Where does this energy come from? Is it the conflicting tidal forces of the 'verse and the Grid(?) creating a great tension which can manifest as a type of energy? Is it some type of current that flows in the Grid and washes over the 'verse? Moreover, you mention that light is 100 times faster while the universe is smaller (but at the same time infinite: the hypersphere theory). Because of this, I assume the nights will be as bright as day in the world: no matter where you look in the night sky, your line of vision will always fall upon a star, and, unlike our universe, there is no vast space for the light to take time to cross (which is why we can't see most of the stars - they are so far that their light has not reached us yet). Again, I'm no physicist, so I might be wrong - but this is simply what I am assuming based on what you wrote.

Those things aside, I really do like this start. I am an avid science fiction reader, but only as long as the "science" part doesn't actually involve knowing every obscure theory the author bases the piece on.

!!!! , ...

Subject No. III VI +


KaiAdin

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Reply #6 on: June 27, 2009, 01:17:59 AM
While I haven't Read the Culture series of books I'm familiar with them... and I know enough science its not total gibberish to my ears... ]:P So this sounds Kinda cool!

But then again the numbers did make me blink a bit... Since you specify the laws of physics, you open them up to examination and refutation (But not by me... I don't know enough physics for that) But then again I like a good mix of soft and Hard Sci-fi.

And I guess since you introduce this from a Huge scale... am I right in assuming the stories will also be big in scope?

Anyway this sounds interesting! Write more!

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