Author Topic: Collision  (Read 8716 times)

Fen

  • Secret Wizard
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 3
  • ****
  • Posts: 518
  • For the glory of the sammich!
    • View Profile
on: May 06, 2010, 07:20:51 PM
It took a looooong time, but... I finally finished it, lost it, got it back, reviewed it, edited it, buried in soft peat for three months, and recycled as firelighters.

anyway, I am proud to present... Collision!

When was the last time you hugged your sammich?


Dragyn

  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 2
  • ***
  • Posts: 458
    • View Profile
    • Canonfodder
Reply #1 on: May 06, 2010, 08:51:48 PM
That was awesome.   I admit readily that I'm not familiar with much of your work, and didn't recognize any of the characters (though I recognize the name Fen-Tech, I've never actually read them...been meaning to), but I enjoyed it, nonetheless.

The Dark One, Skrull Witherborn...very interesting work, there.

I can relate to the worlds creating themselves thing.  Very interesting choice of heroes you made.  I can't say I'd have made the same choices, but yours worked well for you.

Good work.   [:)



Fen

  • Secret Wizard
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 3
  • ****
  • Posts: 518
  • For the glory of the sammich!
    • View Profile
Reply #2 on: May 08, 2010, 11:50:12 AM
thanks for the feedback, Dragyn! After being dry from writing these past few months it's good to hear.

When was the last time you hugged your sammich?


Virmir

  • Chaotic Neutral Cartoon Gray Fox Mage
  • Administrator
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 4
  • *****
  • Posts: 2249
  • These sorts of things happen.
    • View Profile
    • virmir.com
Reply #3 on: May 11, 2010, 09:07:25 PM
Ha ha, this is a fun concept!  Skrull's tests were a tad cheesy (by hey, that's half the fun) and I expected there to be some sort of epic battle at the end.  But for an author insertion tale, this was pretty good.  Nice job!

(Most of my characters would try to kill me, probably. [;))

[fox] Virmir


Stormkit

  • Avid Bookworm Cat
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 2
  • ***
  • Posts: 367
  • Intuition strikes again!
    • View Profile
Reply #4 on: May 12, 2010, 06:10:30 PM
Interesting. I've actually been playing with the idea of how my imagination creates a world and in this world would exist a connection to everything I had ever created. And of course I came to the natural realization that I'd be essentially the leader of this world with powers not unlike that of a god. Never thought to turn it into a story though.

The one thing I found disappointing though was how idiotic the 'devil' seemed to be. He should know everything about the characters but didn't remember the captain was literate? Didn't already know the doctor was bored of a perfect world? Didn't even know enough about the wanderer to realize he would never kill any of those people? The only possible explanation is that he WANTED to lose and that just doesn't seem in character.

Of the four elements,
None is predominant.
Of the four seasons,
None lasts forever.


Fen

  • Secret Wizard
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 3
  • ****
  • Posts: 518
  • For the glory of the sammich!
    • View Profile
Reply #5 on: May 12, 2010, 06:29:27 PM
well, in actuality the pirate's universe doesn't exist yet, and thus he doesn't know much about it. He also plays with self-doubt. (and remember, this was a point in which the Wanderer had one of his largest failures and wasn't too sure of himself anymore)

other than that, if I just made him an all-knowing evil dude made of pure evil awesome sauce, then he wouldn't have lost.  [;)

thus, cheesiness, and the character isn't quite right during tests. If there was a certain thing I wanted to get down with him, it would have to be that he has no moral event horizon. (it's a trope.. look it up if you dare)

and he may or may not be back. telling would be spoilers.  [:P

When was the last time you hugged your sammich?


Lopez

  • Resident (Human) Analyzer
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 2
  • ***
  • Posts: 236
  • Your friendly local Human Representative
    • View Profile
Reply #6 on: May 14, 2010, 12:39:50 PM
Wow, very well done. While I was confused with the initial point of this, as the story went on to the challenges, I got really hooked. In this story, you intend to portray how your characters are not isolated from evaluating the consequences of their in-world actions. So, while we may think that characters inside a story remain trapped within their own sphere of logic, they can think outside of their stories pretty well.

If I had a recommendation, I would put the Pirate's test before the Wanderer's test. The Pirate's seemed to be the most light-hearted, while the Wanderer's delved deeper until ending in Dr. Wolf's which was the deepest tale of all.

...it's like you took all of my criticisms of your characters, (well, at least Wanderer and Dr. Wolf) and turned them upside their head. Very good job. ]:)

...but that's just my opinion, so don't let it bother you too much!