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Author Topic: Soul / Link  (Read 2052 times)
« on: July 21, 2012, 12:13:14 AM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
Mage of Caerreyn, Level 1
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So, I've post my story Soul / Link here on the forums. I'll upload the original documents here, but for those of you who prefer FA text copies, I'll link those as well.

Soul / Link is a an idea that I originally wrote for a scrapped webcomic idea. However, since I enjoyed the story to it, I decided to write it out after changing quite a few things. I hope to one day make it into a webcomic or comic again, but for now it shall remain as a simple story.


Soul / Link is a story that follows Ko (Kasali Ossiran) the Luos and his adventures in a world that is the reverse of ours (land and sea are reversed on the map). Ko awakens in an unfamiliar location without any memory of what had happened to him. After realizing that a great trauma in his life was the cause of his memory loss, Ko embarks on a journey to discover what exactly happened to him. Along the way, he meets Tsavo, Velor, and Leria, three Luos who are the students of three Legendary Heroes that stood up to the Dark Lords of the land. Ko eventually decides to join them on their quest, hoping that they can help him with his amnesia. However, if a great trauma resulted in Ko's memory loss, does he really want to remember his past?


For those of you wondering what a Luos is, I will refer you to here: Information about the Luos! More about the Luos!

Here are a couple profiles of Luos:
Ko the Luos
The Jaku "Brothers"


Now then, here are the FA links to the chapters. Pleat note that due to the text format, the paragraph formatting is a bit different.

Soul / Link Chapter 1
Soul / Link Chapter 2


I hope you enjoy!

Attachment(s)
* Soul Link 1.doc (55 KB - downloaded 83 times.)
* Soul Link 2.doc (89.5 KB - downloaded 80 times.)
« Last Edit: July 22, 2012, 03:28:43 PM by Aira Fox » Logged
« Reply #1 on: July 26, 2012, 03:41:08 PM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
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I wanted to point out that chapter 3 of Soul / Link has now been posted. This chapter is noticeably shorter than the last one.

FA Link: Soul / Link Ch. 3

Attachment(s)
* Soul Link 3.doc (51 KB - downloaded 85 times.)
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« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2012, 08:26:47 PM »

Chaotic Neutral Cartoon Gray Fox Mage
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Virmir
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I read up to chapter 2 so far. Very nice start!

The world really seems like something you'd find in a video game, which makes the setup feel a little rough at first, but it's quite fun and grew on me as the story progressed. The plot becomes more intriguing as the story progresses, and there are some nice twists at the end of Chapter 2. Looking forward to reading chapter three (next week). Happy Gray Fox
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Gray Fox Virmir
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2012, 05:23:42 PM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
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Chapter 4 of Soul / Link is now up!

FA Link: Soul / Link Ch. 4

Attachment(s)
* Soul Link 4.doc (56 KB - downloaded 90 times.)
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« Reply #4 on: September 06, 2012, 08:26:55 PM »

Chaotic Neutral Cartoon Gray Fox Mage
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Virmir
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Continuing to enjoy this. Happy Gray Fox Looks like there is an interesting conflict on the horizon. Gray Fox Wink
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Gray Fox Virmir
« Reply #5 on: October 21, 2012, 11:19:48 PM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
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After much delay, I've finally had a chance to sit down and write up chapters 5 and 6 of Soul / Link!

Due to the nature of these chapters, I'm going to have to rate them in the PG/PG-13 area. Chapter 5 especially falls on the darker side of things.

FA Links:
Soul / Link Ch. 5
Soul / Link Ch. 6

Edit: Chapter 6 has been reuploaded, fixing a series of typos and other errors I noticed.

Attachment(s)
* Soul Link 5.doc (122.5 KB - downloaded 70 times.)
* Soul Link 6.doc (92.5 KB - downloaded 80 times.)
« Last Edit: October 23, 2012, 11:34:27 PM by Aira Fox » Logged
« Reply #6 on: October 29, 2012, 11:06:58 PM »

Chaotic Neutral Cartoon Gray Fox Mage
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Virmir
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Blast! Keep forgetting to post feedback. Gray Fox Wink

Great stuff! The action in chapter 5, particularly towards the end, does not disappoint! The transformation sequences are awesome. Really fun two chapters!

The guy commanding the army all by himself was a bit of a stretch for me. I would expect him to have subordinates to relay the orders to, who break off and order the troops in groups. Getting thousands of soldiers to orchestrate just by yelling at them is a little unbelievable.

Said it before-- but really love how the Luos grow and "adapt" as to their needs and environment. Having the "feral" water dragon was a nice touch.

The "reveal" in chapter 6 wasn't all that surprising-- but I think this was intentional since you hint at it quite a bit throughout the previous chapters. (I pretty much called it early on. Gray Fox Wink) Of course, you don't really depend on the reveal being a surprise to the readers, so it works!

The big bad being a super powerful ice wizard is so fitting-- ice is a horrible thing. Gray Fox Wink

If I would have an overall bit of feedback for the whole thing I would say that the story takes a biiiit to really get into. From Chapters 1-4 I'd say the story is "kinda cool" but nothing  really amazing (which is why you may be having some trouble hooking people). You've got a cool setting and race set up, but it takes some time to get to know and feel for the characters, and the whole amnesia thing-- while you've got it working nicely-- is kiiiinda cliche. Chapter 5 though is when things start to get AWESOME. Keep at it! Definitely interesting in seeing how this pans out!
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Gray Fox Virmir
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2012, 01:34:24 AM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
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Thanks for the feedback, Virmir! It is greatly appreciated.  Happy Gray Fox

Quote from: "Virmir
The guy commanding the army all by himself was a bit of a stretch for me. I would expect him to have subordinates to relay the orders to, who break off and order the troops in groups. Getting thousands of soldiers to orchestrate just by yelling at them is a little unbelievable.

This will likely be an issue I "correct" if I do decide to try and publish this. The idea is that every Luos in the army is a member of the Luos Enforcement Unit which Reimon is in charge of, so like a bunch of police officers being commanded by a sergeant, they're very much in-line. However, since they are from different units across the region, it'd make more sense to have some of the other leads give orders as well.

This is something I didn't really take into account until after posting. Since it was a short scene where it was just him, I didn't go through the process of thinking "Hey, maybe there's some Luos in the way back or way off to the sides that can't hear him!"


Quote from: Virmir
The "reveal" in chapter 6 wasn't all that surprising-- but I think this was intentional since you hint at it quite a bit throughout the previous chapters.

Nope! Not a surprise at all! Like you said, I'd been alluding to it since the first chapter.  Gray Fox Wink

However, there is still much to the puzzle that needs solving, and that will seen soon enough. I'm hoping that when I really get into Ko's backstory, you'll be saying "Holy [insert expletive of your choice here]!"


Quote from: Virmir
The big bad being a super powerful ice wizard is so fitting-- ice is a horrible thing.

Heh!  Gray Fox Grin Well, this one uses ice. The other not quite so much, but you'll be seeing him later.


Again, thanks for the feedback! It helps a lot, Virmir. Hope you look forward to the next chapter.  Happy Gray Fox
« Last Edit: October 30, 2012, 01:38:27 AM by Aira Fox » Logged
« Reply #8 on: December 02, 2012, 07:59:17 PM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
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Well, I finally finished chapter 7 up. This chapter took so long because I just wasn't happy with how I wrote it and rewrote it a few times. I may still rewrite it again when this stupid writer's block goes away.

FA Link: Soul / Link Ch. 7

Attachment(s)
* Soul Link 7.doc (88 KB - downloaded 78 times.)
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« Reply #9 on: December 04, 2012, 08:20:17 PM »

Chaotic Neutral Cartoon Gray Fox Mage
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Virmir
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Really fun exciting battle, as usual! This one didn't seem to stand out as much as the previous two chapters, but still enjoyed it. It looks like we're going to get some more answers soon. Looking forward to reading more!
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Gray Fox Virmir
« Reply #10 on: December 20, 2012, 12:01:58 AM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
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Well, here's chapter 8 of the story. I changed it up from my original idea because I felt the original was too dark. Should I publish it, I may switch back to the original idea.

FA Link: Soul / Link Ch. 8

Attachment(s)
* Soul Link 8.doc (115 KB - downloaded 64 times.)
« Last Edit: December 20, 2012, 12:21:56 AM by Aira Fox » Logged
« Reply #11 on: January 08, 2013, 08:47:32 PM »

Chaotic Neutral Cartoon Gray Fox Mage
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I rather enjoyed this change of pace. Flashbacks are always fun for main characters. There were indeed a few "Holy frazz!" moments in there as you said there would be, but I'm a sadistic person and do enjoy moments like those. Gray Fox Wink

Good twist at the end! Things are starting to fall into place. Looking forward to the next part, as always. Happy Gray Fox
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Gray Fox Virmir
« Reply #12 on: January 28, 2013, 12:11:20 PM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
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No new chapter yet, but I've now posted pics and bios for Time and Space on FA. Time and Space Bios

The bios give a bit more world history and the origin of the two Luos gods. I haven't ultimately decided if or when I'll throw their backstories into the main story. Time briefly mentions it in one chapter, but it's not something I go into depth on. This would be more of "About the World" side-story info thing.
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« Reply #13 on: March 05, 2013, 10:06:58 AM »

"Aira the fox"
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Aira Fox
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After much delay, chapter 9 is finished. It took me much longer to finish this than it should've, though long hours at work have been mostly to blame for that. I hope you all enjoy it!

FA Link: Soul / Link Ch. 9

Attachment(s)
* Soul Link 9.doc (119.5 KB - downloaded 56 times.)
« Last Edit: March 05, 2013, 10:58:16 PM by Aira Fox » Logged
« Reply #14 on: March 18, 2013, 09:07:58 PM »

Chaotic Neutral Cartoon Gray Fox Mage
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Virmir
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Enjoyed this, as usual! I like how Time doesn't turn out to be anything like what you imagine him to be earlier in the story. Also really like the sense of forbodingness where even though they've defeated one enemy, the next one is going to be way tougher and much more is at stake. Confronting inner-self was cheesy at the end, but it's the good sort of cheesy I've come to expect. Looking forward to the next part!
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Gray Fox Virmir
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