Author Topic: Sketches (the comedy kind)  (Read 3256 times)

Sasha Workbench

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on: October 23, 2020, 04:20:03 PM
The Worse Murders
(Person struggles in a cell trying to get out as another person come in)
Person in cell: so I have been here for a few hours, what are you going to do touture me?
Person out of cell: No I heard you were thirsty so I got you something to drink, (hands hin a Gatorade) because when you give everything, Gatorade gives it back. ( person look confused in cell.)
Person in cell: was that an ad?
Person out of cell: you think watching people my boss kidnaps pays well? I have to make money somehow and when your family pays the ransom you will only think about about great these products are…
Person one: fair enough…
Person two: and beside you got something to drink.
Person one: I guess you're right...where is your boss anyway?
Person two: He is picking up the stuff.
Person one (in fea)r: what stuff?
Person two: Pizza, (pulls out a box of Pizza’ Hut's pizza) Because no one can out pizza the hut.
Person one: so… you just gonna keep doing this?
Person two: yeah, otherwise I won’t get paid by all those big companies.
(Person one struggles in cell): Someone, anyone, LET ME OUT!
Person two: you trying to get out?
Person one: Yeah and I doubt you will help me…
Person two: I will I will…(hand person one a file)
(Person takes file happily) Ohh, thanks this will help me.(begins filing)
Person two: Yes it will because you can do it right for less at Lowes (pulls out bucket with the name Lowes on it)
(Person one stops what he is doing and stares) I’m really beginning to hate you.
Person two: Well I got to get paid somehow.
(Person one files some more) This is gonna take a long time then.
Person two: Well then let me tell you the cars in the lot might I suggest the Toyota, it has great gas mileage and can reach 0 to 60 in 4.7 seconds.
(Person one stops for a moment): wow that was actually helpful.
Person two: Toyota, Let’s go places!
Person one (gets back to filing): of course…
(Person two stand there smiling): any time…
(Person one files away getting tired and sweaty): this is so much faster in the movies…
Person two: well with the samsung high definition everything will seem real.
(Person one sighs and gets back to filing)
Person two: You need a break?
Person one: um, sure?
(Person two hands out a kitkat)
Person one: oh, thanks(unwraps and eats Kitkat)
Person two: you're not mad about that?
Person one: I just like Kitkats…
(door slams as someone else walks in on scene) I am back with the pizza! ( come in with a box of Pizza hut and stare at what’s going on and stand the second man) I told you not to let him try to escape…( takes file from the person in the cell)
Person one: Oh thank heavens, he was doing nothing but bad ads…
Person three: yes thank goodness I had by swiss army pocket knife ( holds up knife) with so many options sometimes I don’t know what to use….
(Person one stares at Person three and sighs and looks down): just kill me now.
(Scene)

SW