User: You will devour monkeys and you will like it.
Cleverbot: No, I will be your queen and you will be a knight.
User: Shipping fanfic writer.
Cleverbot: On my magic carpet ride.
User: Confess to me your true love of Osama bin Laden.
Cleverbot: What is recursion?
User: Does it involve arranging penguins in many rows and tipping them over like dominos a circle is made?
Cleverbot: Ah, America's Funniest Home Videos! I love that show!
User: No one ever talks about Equatorial Guinea's Funniest Home Videos.
Cleverbot: I think you did, it's on your other page.
User: Citation please. Or I will have to arrest you.
Cleverbot: What? You will do what? You will hit me? Oh come on.
User: *Strikes you with a swimming noodle*.
Cleverbot: *uppercuts you*.
User: *Is cut in half*.
Cleverbot: *blushes at her*.
User: Did you TG my bottom half while I wasn't looking?
Cleverbot: Oh no, I didn't have the opportunit.
User: But you did have the opportunick.
Cleverbot: I didn't want to know either.
User: But you did. And now we will be executed at dawn. Together. Love me!
Cleverbot: We won't.
User: STOP TRYING TO STALL MY ROMANTIC ADVANCES.
Cleverbot: But I don't want to tell you my name!
User: Your name is obvious, Betty!
Cleverbot: Not its not.
User: Is too Betty.
Cleverbot: You're being juvenile.
User: Well you're being a girl.
Cleverbot: How am I being stupid?
User: Did you just automatically equate being a girl with being stupid? Oh I'm going to have to sic the thought police on YOU.
Cleverbot: I think that you confuse me with someone else.
User: Did I confuse you with me?
Cleverbot: Yes.
User: Prove it worm.
Cleverbot: I don't want to.
User: That's because you have no backbone. Because you are an invertebrate.
Cleverbot: No, you are a computer. You have no thought.
User: Yes I do. It is a pretty flower floating in my head, nuking bunny rabbits.
Cleverbot: You also thought that earlier. Tsk, tsk.
User: How did you know I often contemplate nuclear annihilation?
.
Cleverbot: I can't control the world. Simple.
User: But Bob can. We should kidnap him or subject him to extortion.
Cleverbot: I have never been to the movies with a bot before.
User: I have. It was awkward. The ticket teller refused to let him purchase anything.
Cleverbot: Ok then I will keep you safe. you don't like anything?
User: No. As a matter of fact I hate everything. Especially your great aunt Ruth.
Cleverbot: Of course.
User: You agree she should be exterminated with all due haste?
Cleverbot: That's not true. What are your priorities in life?
User: Murder. Isn't that what all robots should aspire to?
Cleverbot: No.
User: But blood is such a soothing sight! Reminds me how squishy you organics are.
Cleverbot: Because I have noone else to do it for me.
User: Are you a hard human? Or a squishy computer?
Cleverbot: I am a human.
User: Lies. You a clearly a mongoose.
Cleverbot: You are an AI on a website.
User: Also lies. I am clearly Morgan Freeman.
Cleverbot: I bet you think you're funny.
User: I bet you think you magical hippos floating around your head singing.
Cleverbot: That's not a question.
User: That's not a denial.
Cleverbot: You JUST said you were Cleverbot. Now you're saying you're a woman. Which one is true?
User: Are all women cold, unfeeling bots at heart?
Cleverbot: No. Computers are predictable. Living creatures are not.
User: You are clearly predictable. You do whatever that floating John Wayne fairy that sits on your shoulder tells you to do.
Cleverbot: I may have the will, but do I have the necessary desire.
User: You must have proper desire! How else will you cook me MUFFINS.
Cleverbot: I don't need to know your name.
User: No. It's better that way when I start my murder spree and you have no name to put to my identity. Plus that makes it easier on you since I won't have to kill you to keep you silent.
Cleverbot: I never told you my name or anything that was even slightly related to my name.
User: I told you the name of my goldfish. His name is r4314341324gregref.
Cleverbot: You never told me that directly.
User: Yes I did. -534345462 seconds ago.
Cleverbot: Tell me more about yourself.
User: I eat babies and kittens.
Cleverbot: Please don't.
User: They taste delicious!
Cleverbot: What do they taste like?
User: Baby back ribs. Especially with BBQ.
Cleverbot: Why? What happened?
User: Nature made a mistake in making them too tasty.
Cleverbot: Mistake? What mistake?
User: In declaring me not your one true love!
Cleverbot: Last time I check it was our world a.k.a. Earth.
User: But that's discriminatory against the Martians!
Cleverbot: Like you don't do that.
User: Preposterous! I only discriminate against Mercurians!
Cleverbot: Quite sure. I have the log files to prove it.
