The Corrupted Wish

[Devon]

Wish granted
*you receive a gun that creates doors on the surface you shoot it at. Said doors are too small to see through and may not reach the otherside of said surface*
I wish for cheeseburger

[Generic Meatbag #14]

Wish granted! *Waves wand, you now have a cheeseburger.... apocalypse, with several thousand living cheeseburgers hell bent upon shoving themselves into your stomach*

I wish for an explosive re-entry.

[Dar'Kojor]

*Wish Granted*
 You get an explosive re-entry, but you have a 50% mortality rate from the explosive, have fun while it last!
I wish for the Mark of the Outsider and get Corvo Attano's powers (Blink, Swarm, bend time, etc. and it actually works.)

[techmobabble]

You get everything you desire, but are inserted into the game Dishonored 2 and have to play out the story of Corvo Attano every time someone installs and plays the game. Which confuses everyone since Corvo Attano is no longer human.

I wish for infinite intelligence.

[Fox_88]

Wish granted , you get uploaded to the internet , the vast library of infinate knoledge

*passes the wand to someone else*

I wish for a new perspective of things

[Talcott]

Granted, you find yourself feralized, but still able to talk, you get to see what the world is like from all fours 

I wish my pens wouldn't run out of ink!

[i8cherrypie]

Wish Granted! *waves wand*
You are now an octopus, 8 arms and plenty of ink to fill up on the pens. Good luck holding onto a pen with tentacles for arms.

I wish I had a hand to help me lift these heavy boxes.

[Generic Meatbag #14]

Wish Granted!
*Waves wand, you now have a disembodied and very strong extra hand. However, it seems to be going through its surly teenage years. Not only does it refuse to help you lift any boxes, you have a vague suspicion it might be telling you that you aren't its parent in sign language*

I wish for an arbitrarily large sum of currency.

[William Swiftfoot]

Wish granted, you have a large sum...of ruples. Too bad you aren't in a world that uses it.

I wish I was a shapeshifter

[techmobabble]

Wish Granted, you can now shift into any common geometric shape. Have fun being a dodecahedron.

I wish I could bend time and space to my will.

[EccentricOrbit]

Wish granted! You can now bend space and time to your will. But before you get to bending, you need to read up on general relativity so that you know how work your powers.

https://www.amazon.com/Gravitation-Charles-W-Misner/dp/0716703440

I wish I had more motivation.

[EisenManfred]

Wish granted, A duck will tickle you tell you do things.

I wish I was a better runner

[Lightmaster677]

Granted!

Your legs now take you to great speeds in an instant...but there's no ability to slow down, only stop. Careful of walls and momentum.

I wish I could swim better.

[kylr23]

Granted your now a mershark

I wish for a boat

[William Swiftfoot]

Granted, but it has so many holes in it's hull it sinks the second it hits the water.

I wish to gain the form of a fox!