Feral Feasts is still around, but it's been on the back burner for a bit. However, a customer recently asked for a reservation, and the doors of this establishment are always open!
A story commission for Jake1805 and KieliIndustries!
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Tucked away in a particular corner of the world there is a strange building. The rustic exterior of the aged wooden structure looks almost like something someone might expect to serve as a trading post in an old Western. Half-hidden among the reaching leaves of the ivy growing along its facade is a name in old-fashioned script, one many a passerby has noticed with curiosity and consternation.
Feral Feasts
Though nowhere is it specifically stated to be so, even people who have never before seen the establishment quickly divine that it is some sort of eatery. Precisely what sort, however, is known only to those few who have visited before.
"Almost two in the afternoon and we haven't gotten anything done!" Kieli, a white cat with bright green eyes walked down the sidewalk in the company of Jake, a yellow lab. Her bushy, black-and-grey ringed tail flicked in agitation behind her, enough to signal her annoyance even without her expression and frustrated words. She was dressed, as is often the case for people of the toonish sort, with little regard for pants. Instead she wore only a long, red cape, long enough to hang mere inches from the ground. Her fur covered her form with sufficient modesty, and a prominent white tuft stood out on her chest.
"Perhaps we should get something to eat before we go on?" Jake followed after the cat, keeping a safe distance in case the feline's frequent flare for the dramatic should manifest itself. The dog had a similarly cartoonish fashion sense to his friend, the only complement to his fur being the black bandanna he wore around his neck, blue crown outlines embroidered about the fashionable accessory.
The Labrador retriever had come along with his friend with very little idea of what the cat intended for their trip. Despite hours of wandering between stores of allegedly-magical artifacts, Jake still wasn't quite certain what she was looking for. Previous experience suggested that he might not ever find out.
"Eat?" Kieli scoffed in response to Jake's suggestion. "As though there is any time for food on a quest like this! This is a mission of utmost importance! Why there's nothing further from my mind…!"
Her stomach took the opportunity to make its opinion on the subject known, growling loudly and insistently before she could say another word. Jake raised an eyebrow, allowing himself a hopeful smile.
"As I was saying!" Kieli proclaimed. "There's no sense pressing on with an empty stomach! Quick! To food!"
Jake sped up his pace to keep up with Kieli as she took off with purposeful strides. Just as he got up to speed, however, she stopped dead and Jake had to stumble to one side to avoid running into her. He started to ask what was going on, but she raised her arm to point out the rustic structure on the far corner.
"There!"
The retriever didn't have any time to register what she had said before Kieli set off once again. He scrambled after her across the narrow road, almost having to jog to keep up as she strode forward.
"Are you even sure this place sells food?" Jake managed to ask as they reached the door.
"Of course they do! The word 'feast' is on their sign!"
Kieli didn't allow Jake to ask any further questions before she threw the door open and marched through. Jake followed, but at enough of a distance that anyone inside would know that it was his friend's idea to barge in.
The foyer beyond the door was quite a sight. Jake's mind quickly went from wondering whether it was a restaurant to worrying whether they could hope to afford anything they served. It had all the markings of a very serious establishment, with paintings that might have been old masterworks on either wall, a large chandelier shining a gentle orange glow from its place in the high ceiling, and well-used furniture on either side to accommodate longer waits. The room was empty as the two entered, but that did little to assuage Jake's concerns about what the prices might be.
Kieli, on the other hand, remained entirely undeterred by the fancy decor. She walked up to the hostess station and loudly announced her presence.
"I would like a table for two!" she declared. "Please?"
Behind the hostess station sat a brown-furred anthro rabbit lady, wearing a pair of casual slacks and a dark blouse. She glanced up from the page of the book she had been reading, hurriedly dogeared the page where she had stopped, then sat up straight to acknowledge the newly-arrived customers.
"Welcome to Feral Feasts!" She glanced between the two friends. "I assume by your introduction that you do not have a reservation?"
"I am certain I can get one if it's needed," Kieli declared.
Jake had wandered closer to the conversation, but his focus was elsewhere. He had noticed that there was no visible dining area, and leaned to look down the long hallway full of wooden doors that stretched to his right. There was another, similar hall to the right, and neither gave any sign of life. There was no commotion of talking people, no smell of cooking food, no waiters entering and exiting… What sort of strange, exclusive restaurant was this?
"Oh, it's quite alright if you don't have reservations," the rabbit was continuing. "We frequently have spots available for walk-ins. Right now…" She paused with a quiet hum to fill the silence as she picked up a small book from the nook beneath her station and flipped through a couple of pages. "Yes, we have places available in the Savannah, the Prairie, the Seaside…"
"Two for the Seaside, then!" Kieli cut in. "Not to rush you, either, but I think my friend might starve unless our orders are taken quickly."
Jake might have tried to apologize for his friend's bossy demeanor, but the rabbit lady just laughed. "That shouldn't be a problem," she assured the cat. "Our service is unmatched in speed and quality." She found the appropriate spot in her book of reservations and jotted down a note. "Your meal will be down that hallway, second door on the left."
Kieli wasted no time venturing to the door that had been indicated by a gesture of the hostess's pen, and Jake followed along despite the many questions that swirled in his mind. Where were the rest of the staff? Where was the kitchen? Where were the customers?
And how much would this cost them, anyway?
His mind ground to a sudden stop as he stood behind Kieli, who had just opened the door to their dining accommodations. Impossibly, a pristine shoreline stretched out before them, rocks and crags of porous volcanic rock trimming the edges of a gentle waterfront. Scraggly brush stuck out in tufts from mounds of coarse sand just behind, and a lightly-used, unpaved road wound its way parallel to the shore.
"Hey, what's the big…?"
Kieli blinked her bright green eyes in surprise as she turned to see that the scenery behind her matched that in front. It was impossible! She had not moved since opening the door, yet neither the door nor even its frame stood anywhere in the area. Jake was still with her, looking very confused himself, but any sign of the enigmatic eatery or the cheery hostess was completely erased.
"But… I was just… in the hallway…?" Jake stammered out his thoughts as his mind slowly began to recover from his sudden change of setting. He looked around as he tried to get his bearings, noticing as he did a clamshell at his paws. He leaned over to pick it up, curiosity overwhelming confusion.
"There's only one thing it could be," Kieli declared, hands on her hips. "It's all a setup! One of my rivals must have put them up to this. Why, when I get my paws on them I'll… What do you think you're doing?"
Jake ignored Kieli's question. His earlier confusion had been replaced by a rapt fascination with the clam he now held in his hands. He muttered something to himself as he turned it over a few times, examining every nook and cranny in its surface. An attempt to pry it open with his claws found it stubbornly sealed shut, and the retriever gave an odd, angry chirping sound. He only calmed as he spotted a large, jagged rock nearby.
Kieli watched him in confusion for several moments, but a splash from the water's surface turned her head. She only caught a brief glimpse of something just under the gentle waves, flashing with scales of bright silver. Instantly, despite her confusion over her friend's obsession with the clam, her own attention was laser focused on that fish. Dropping down to all fours, she stalked over the edge of the rough rock and stared down through the blue-green of the tropical tides, watching as a large, fat fish swam languidly just under a ridge of jutting rock.
By now, the special magic of Feral Feasts hung heavy in the air around them. It danced through the air, brushed through their fur, tugged at the corners of their minds… Without them quite realizing it, their tastes were being shaped to enjoy their upcoming meal to the fullest.
Fully entranced, Jake brought the closed shell to the rock. He held it between both of his hands, almost out of necessity as his fingers were gradually becoming webbed and shortening as tendrils of gentle magic pressed around them. Despite weaker grip, he still hoisted the clam up above the rock and quickly brought it crashing down several times in a row. There was very little give in the shell, but the retriever was determined. After a few strikes, he raised the clam to his muzzle, which had shortened and grown more blunt, and pried at the little chip he had managed to make with his efforts.
Kieli's ringed tail lashed slowly behind her as she watched the fish in the water, but waves of caressing magic transformed its shape from base to tip, the slow lashing slowing as her tail changed to better resemble a rudder. Her fingers still gripped the rock as she watched the surface of the water, but her hands were little more than paws now: short, thick digits with webbing in between. Thick whiskers grew down around her muzzle, coaxed by the gentle motion of the magic as it, like a wave, swept down her form from nose to tail.
Jake had to reach a little further to crack the clam against the rock after a few futile attempts at prying it open. His legs had grown much shorter, causing his tail to stand out straight behind him. It changed much as Kieli's had, becoming a thick, tapering shape behind him with short, thick fur covering it all the way. His body was barely canine anymore, as a long torso now contrasted with short limbs. He cracked his prey against the rock several more times, and this time his work created a gap in the shell! Excited, he dug in with claws and teeth, pulling the stubborn halves of the shell in opposite directions, persisting even as the hinge held. Slowly but surely, the shell creaked open, until…
Just as the shell snapped on its hinge in Jake's paws, Kieli dove headfirst after the fish in front of her. Her red cape was left behind, the white otter's slender mustelid form slipping through its collar as she dove. Her ears sealed against the rush of water around her, and thick fur kept her skin completely dry even as she was submerged. The fish darted away, but with an elegant twist of her body, the former cat swam after him, her paws tucked close to her body as her tail drove her forward. The fish managed to put some distance on her at first, but the otter's body was built for this. She sped through the water like a torpedo, and the fish had no chance as her jaws snapped closed!
Not long after, two sea otters swam lazily together, floating on their backs in the gentle waves near the shore. The golden-furred otter still had an empty half of a clamshell resting on his chest, though the white otter beside him had already discarded the remnants of her own meal. They lay there, carefree, as though the sea were their own luxurious bed.
They remained unbothered even as the rabbit doe from the hostess station entered through an unseen door and walked towards the rocky seaside. She was now dressed in a monochrome one-piece swimsuit decorated in contrasting patterns of black and white to emulate the distinctive markings of a killer whale, and carried a pair of folded towels between her arms. She smiled as she saw the two of them swimming peacefully.
"All right, you two, time to pack it in!"
The friends were still otters, though now more anthro, as they emerged and toweled off. Only once the layer of water had been brushed out of their fur did they find themselves back in their more familiar forms. They seemed to be in a daze as they glanced at each other and back at the lady. She gave a curious smirk.
"Yes, that was real," she explained.
"No, I know it was real, I just…"
"Can we do it again?" Jake was cut off by Kieli's quick interruption.
The lady smiled. "Of course! Any time."
Though few people ever experience a meal at Feral Feasts, those lucky few find within an experience worth repeating. Regardless of what their tastes might have been when they enter, even the most particular of diners can enjoy a meal of fresh seafood when they find themselves changed to fit the scenery.
