@nagolinc: Awesome picture! Did you make those models yourself? What program did you use?
It's unfortunate that the Goblins would do that - a disproof is just as valid as a proof, after all. It may mark the first time Miserable Failure has succeeded at something - a Miserable success? Ref. Godel's theorem was pretty clever,
Red Reyn: Command Order: Pirate Ships (-2)Red Reyn: Command Order: Red Rats (-2)Kidnap The Flames HandPirate Captain Emelio cursed his luck. It seemed like such a good idea at the time. Unfortunately, wild boasts made the night before in the tavern were very hard to back down from when evaluated in the cold light of sobriety. But then, that's how most classic Red Reyn adventures start, and on the off chance it didn't kill them all, it would be epic.
The Red Reyn were slowly and haltingly growing in wealth and power, but there were setbacks at every turn. The Jaeskine, once easy and insanely profitable prey, were becoming harder to take on the high seas. The Rakey repelled the ill fated expedition of Captain Lorenz. Many of the other races of the world were developing powerful magic or had some sort of divine patronage. Unfortunately going off on half-cocked nautical adventures leaves little time for the scholarship that most magic requires. And the Reds couldn't find reverence with a map in the Vatican, so they were unlikely to endear themselves to any gods anytime soon.
"How come none of these gods ever do us pirates any favors?", Emelio waxed eloquent, bottle in hand. "That kitsune Flames-Hand is a fox, right? Maybe a little on the snooty side - after all, he could never be bothered to give us any fortune or powers, but I'm sure we can get him to see things our way."
"Oh yes, I can see this now", Admiral Marta said, laughing. "Let's go actually drawing the attention of a god. Please sir, won't you help us pillage the high seas? After all, we are so pure and stuff."
"Pure *something* anyway! Har! If you made the Captain's tavern his shrine, half of us might accidentally attend a service", Lorenz guffawed.
"Shut up, Lorenz!", the other Captains shouted.
"Exactly!", Emilio said, not quite following the conversation. "All we have to do, is get his attention. If we kidnapped him, he'd have no choice but to hear us!"
Admiral Ponfilo pounded the table with laughter. "Ah yes! You're going to just walk up to this critter and clobber him with a belaying pin, are ye? And when he wakes up halfway back to Las Flotas, we can all watch the pretty lightshow on the horizon"
"I'm not an idiot", Emilio said. "I ... have a *cunning plan*!", he put one paw on the table and gestured dramatically.
"Now we're really worried, since when did you have plans?"
"The Flames Hand isn't at home. He's currently abroad among the Oraxians. We don't have to kidnap him *directly* - we can kidnap some of those grass-eaters he seems to like so much! If he's such a good god, he wouldn't hesitate to walk right into our trap to spare his followers. And if he's not so good, he'll have to do it anyway, or he'll lose all his grass-eating worshippers when they discover what a self-serving jerk he is."
"You don't just walk into a foreign country", Lorenz cautioned. "They could have traps, armies. The land itself could be so hostile that you'll never make it to your destination", he said, shuddering.
"Shut up Lorenz!", all the pirate Captains shouted in unison.
"Oraxia, land of adorable doooom. What are the Oraxians going to do, make bambie eyes at you?", Admiral Marta said. "They're almost as scary as those monkeys that beat you by climbing trees and staying out of your way as you blundered about the jungle!"
"No, no, Lorenz has a point", Emilio said. "We can take those gladiator types with us to round up the villiagers! They're rough enough to handle anything these grass-eating hippies can throw at us. And then, when we have them, we'll send word to that Flames Hand that he must surrender to us."
"And then, just as your ships hoist anchor, all your sails will catch on fire."
"One of those gladiator types", Emelio said, motioning to a captured Tek slave, "knows how to make anti-magic wards. And we'll keep him in a hold lined entirely with glass and water, in a steel cage suspended in the air. There will be nothing for him to light on fire - he'll be trapped!"
"Well, this has been a delightful game", Admiral Marta said, "Too bad there's no one here who actually has the guts to do it."
"What?! I have plenty of guts!", Emelio shouted. "I'll do it!"
"Oh will you?", Marta said, with lidded eyes. "This I'll have to see."
"I will! My ship leaves at dawn!", Emelio said.
"You might as well take Lorenz along - he has experience beating hasty retreats from unarmed natives", Marta said. "The boldness and ridiculousness of your plan has moved us all ... to tears ... heehehe." She handed him a package.
"What is this?", Emelio asked.
"Asbestos trousers - you're going to need them!"