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Messages - Virmir

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2101
Writer's Guild / Re: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: December 07, 2008, 05:22:44 PM »
Thanks!

You are right.  It's generally a good idea to vary word choices and avoid using the same word twice within a span of 100 words or so.  Will certainly touch that up. [:)

2102
Writer's Guild / "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)
« on: December 07, 2008, 02:22:11 PM »
Been in a bit of a writing slump lately, and jotted this down in an attempt to pull myself out of it.  Not sure how far I'll go with this, but figured it was better to post somewhere rather than let it rot on my hardrive. [;)

This is essentially the start of a "kitsune" story.  However I wanted to make the race my own and changed around a few things about their powers/abilities, so just gave them a new name altogether.  Enjoy!

----

Reyan Saga
by Virmir

Part 1



"You owe me a wish."

The creature snarled, his hackles standing on end as his four tails stiffened.  "You dare demand a wish of me, human?"  Its fur seemed to glow crimson in anger.

"I have your little jewel," Gavin said in a smug tone as he clutched his fingers over the glowing marble.  It warmed his hand and pulsed with life.  Such an enchanting treasure.  And one that would grant him his inner most-desires.  "Those are the rules, kitsune."  He gave the gem a squeeze for emphasis.

The four-tailed fox cringed, its legs buckling.  Surprised at the power he held over the creature, Gavin softened his grip.  He didn't want to hurt it after all.  He just wanted his wish. 

"I'm no kitsune, human.  I am reyan.  You and your silly myths," it paused to catch its breath.  "Your kind has invented too many fairy tales."

Gavin held the gem more loosely so as not to strangle the creature. "Whatever your kind is called, the tale about the gem is true, am I wrong?  And the wish?"  He held the gem before his face.  Such an infinite beauty emanated from the tiny orb.  A deep cerulean glow emanated from the center of its infinitely dark depths.

The kitsune-- reyan, rather-- scowled and looked away.  Gavin clasped his fingers over the gem once more.  "Speak the truth while I hold your life in my hand."

"Yes."  The reyan sat on his haunches, two tails to either side. Its burning blue eyes bore into Gavin's soul.  "One wish, as long as it is within my power.  Then you will return my lifestone, lest horrible things happen to you.  The tales also speak of those."

Gavin nodded, uncovering the jewel once more.  "One wish is all I desire, noble fox."  He held it before his face and became lost in its beauty once more.  He imagined the glow in its center a swirling mass of stars-- a whole universe of mystique and magic.  Power that he desired.  "I wish to be a reyan, like you."

The reyan's mouth dropped. "No... no..."  It shook it head.

"You cannot or will not?"  Gavin clenched his fist around the stone once more as the creature dropped to the ground.  "Answer truthfully!"

"Anything!"  It gasped for breath.  "Anything else!  I can transform you into a fox, a wolf, a bear... But a reyan... do you know what you ask?!"

"I want to become a powerful sentient creature, not some mindless animal.  I've given you my wish."

"But to do so I must sacrifice one of my own tails.  Surely you will not be so cruel."

Gavin looked into the reyan's pleading eyes. "I'm bargaining a single tail for your life."  He waved the rayan's lifestone around once more.  "I don't think you are getting that bad of a deal."

The reyan sat up and growled.  "You won't change your mind..."

"I will not."

A long silence followed as the four-tailed fox studied him.  "Very well.  Your wish is granted."  It stood, its tails hypnotically waving behind as it began a slow circle around the human.  "If it is your wish to be reyan, you wretched fool, then reyan you shall be."

Gavin's heart throbbed in his chest and he began to sweat as the fox walked around him.  He kept the jewel tightly clenched in his hand lest the creature try anything funny.  But soon his muscles grew weak and his head spun.

Then the pain came.  A sweeping flame engulfed his flesh, and he screamed as the jewel flew from his grasp.  Oh no...  Bright fire overtook him, burning away his clothing and skin, and he fell forward for what seemed for an eternity.  By the time he hit the ground, the agony had dissipated, and the world assaulted him though foreign senses.

Before his muzzle lay not one, but two glowing stones, though one was larger than the other.  Two digitigrade feet stepped into his field of vision and a black furred paw-hand snatched up the bigger of the two.  "There."  His ears pulled upward as he heard the reyan speak.  "It is done."

Gavin sat up, mystified by his fur-covered body.  He shifted his weight to avoid pinching his tail.  "You did it... I-- I'm really a--"  He grabbed his throat.  Was that really his voice?   He sounded like a ten year old child!  He craned his neck upward to look at the now three-tailed, and much larger reyan.  "What did you do to me?!"

The reyan folded his arms, clasping his lifestone in one hand. "Fool.  One-tailed reyan are children.  You seriously thought you would gain power for nothing?  Now pick your life up off the ground.

Gavin looked down at the marble that was his very life force.  As soon as he touched it, he felt a calm soothingness engulf him.  The warm pulse inside the stone matched the beat of his heart, and as he held it in his pawpads, he knew everything would be okay.

Until he felt the wrenching in his stomach.  "Ugh..."  A million questions stood at the tip of his tongue, but he forced them back as nausea overtook him.  "Argh... what's... happening...?"  His heart skipped a beat as he looked down and noticed his hands had become translucent.  He was fading away!

"One-tails don't have enough energy to exist in Midgard, the plane where humans live.  Too bad.  You're moving to the lower plane.  Your new home."  The three-tail punctuated with a knowing and rather predatory grin.

The trees faded into blackness, swirling lights melding around their forms.  A bone-chilling cold made Gavin's fur bristle.  Some other world?  He didn't want to leave!  The terror faded as the trees returned.  But they were somehow... different.  Bigger, fleshier leaves in more jagged shapes.  The forest seemed much more overgrown, and the plants somehow had a more foreboding nature.  Especially in his smaller body.

He turned his head as the three-tail materialized before him, a look of annoyance across his muzzle.  But he banished the expression to look down at Gavin once more.

Gavin struggled to his two feet, nearly tripping over his digitigrade appendages.  Why were they bipedal?  The reyan walked on four legs before.  So many questions...

"Listen well, Gavin," the three-tail cut off his thoughts.  How the reyan knew his name was the least of his many and growing concerns.  "There are simple rules to survival.  Guard your lifestone.  Should you scratch it, you will become a cripple.  Should you part from it too long, you will die.  Should you shatter it, you will die."  Gavin gulped.  The three-tail grinned, obviously enjoying the look of fear upon his face. "And if someone steals it, by the three planes, you better do whatever he tells you to do to get it back." The one-tail nodded. 

"Guard your tail.  Should you loose it, you will simply be a fox.  Simple-minded animals do not last long in this plane..."  Gavin nodded again.  Geez... how many other weaknesses did he have?  This was nothing like what he imagined...

"And last of all, little reyan..." the three-tail bore down at him with a hateful glare.  "My name is Radis.  Remember it.  Never cross my path.  If I ever see you again, I will kill you."  He snorted and turned, then fell to all fours and made for the bushes with his nose held high and tails flowing behind.

"Wait!"  Gavin yelled, stumbling after, "Don't I have any abilities?  Any special powers?"

Radis turned and grinned as he peered from behind his tails. "Of course not, one-tail.  You need to earn your abilities.  Your second tail should sprout in a hundred years or so."

Gavin's jaw dropped.

Radis flicked his tails about.  "What were you expecting?  God-like power?  Humans are such impatient fools.  No wonder you die so young."  With that, he leapt into bushes and disappeared.

The new one-tail fell upon his rear and stared at the foliage.  One hundred years?  He took his tail in his lap and stroked it.  How could he possibly survive that long alone in the wilderness?  He was smaller and weaker than a human even!  Tears welled in his eyes.  No!  He wouldn't cry.  He was an adult!  This wasn't right!  This wasn't what he wanted at all!

He shut his eyes.  Focus, focus...  A wind rustled the leaves and passed through his fur.  It felt wonderful.  His ears flicked about.  If he were human, he'd be dead by age one hundred.  Or soon after.  But now he had been granted an immeasurable lifespan.  There.  That was something.  One glimmer of hope.  Surely there were more.

He opened his eyes and realized he was clutching his lifestone to his chest.  He slowly lifted it before his muzzle.  It seemed about the same size as the other reyan's when he looked at it before.  But his hands and body were smaller now, so that meant the stone was as well.  The inside glowed dimmer as well.  But it would grow... he knew that.

What else?  Radis seemed to be able to walk on either two legs or four.  Glimpses of other reyan he had seen had always proven the creatures to walk on four legs like normal foxes, yet Gavin seemed more a human-fox cross on two legs.  Could he shift as well?

Tenderly he set his lifestone in the soft dirt, then proceeded to fall to his forelimbs.  Much to his surprise, his spine snapped into place and walking as a quadruped seemed just as natural as walking on two limbs.  In fact, even easier.  He imagined he would be able to travel farther this way as he took a few experimental steps. 

Shifting back was a simple matter of rearing on his hind legs.  He stumbled a few steps, not quite used to balancing on his toes and imagined himself looking quite silly with his arms and tail splayed every which way.  Perhaps this wouldn't be so bad?  He had to admit his new body was quite fun.

His heart skipped a beat when he realized he left his lifestone lying in the dirt several feet away.  How careless!  In a near panic he ran back to it, stopping short to ensure he didn't kick dirt upon the delicate stone.  This thing was the only problem, really.  It was such a liability!  He took it in his forepaws and cradled it.  The thick canopy of leaves above rustled in the breeze and he pulled it close to his body, as if he needed to protect it from the cold.

A sweet sent came in with the wind, and his stomach growled.  What exactly the smell was he could not tell, but his new body seemed to recognize it as food.  And still tired and sore from the transformation, he figured it best not to protest.  But would he have to hunt or steal his food?  Or perhaps he could forage?  He knew foxes were omnivorous, but these reyan certainly had a whole new set of rules.

And that lead him to the biggest problem of all.  How was he to travel, let alone hunt-- or do much of anything at all while carrying this blasted stone around?!  He wrapped his fingers around the warm gem as he looked upon its enchanting dull glow once more, careful not to nick it with his claws.  His fingers and thumb had become significantly stubbier with his change, but it was still easy enough to carry in his hand.  Still, he felt it best to travel on all fours.  He could move faster that way, and would remain under the brush-line.  Who knew what other things inhabited the forest along with him...

Carefully he set the gem in his mouth and fell to four feet.  Well, it wasn't too bad...  The touch of the gem remained comforting, even within his mouth.  He wondered if it would be best to actually swallow it.  That way he'd never lose the thing.  But then again, it would be ironic if his lifestone killed him by obstructing his intestines... Or even if he did pass it, he'd have to-- Ugh.  Forget it.

So many questions.  So much wondering.  The wind shifted again and he once again caught the scent.  He would find answers eventually, but for now his hunger got the better of him.  Nose in the air, he shuffled his way into the thick shrubbery.

2103
Website and Technical Discussion / Re: Welcome!
« on: December 06, 2008, 10:14:11 AM »
Glad to have you aboard, Dragyn.  Thanks for stopping by!

Shhhh... don't tell anyone, but there may be a change in the update schedule sometime soon. [;)

2104
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: Comic Discussion
« on: November 30, 2008, 10:26:36 AM »
I don't have an auto-update thing set up, so I just do it the night before.  Usually means between 9 and 11 PM Central time.

New topic is fine. [:)

2105
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: New About page!
« on: November 25, 2008, 08:17:56 PM »
They are called muriden actually.  We will meet them soon enough. [;)

2106
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: New About page!
« on: November 24, 2008, 01:09:07 PM »
Good question!

Tales of the Questor for one.  It's a fantasy heavy setting, but details are all well thought out.  The story centers around a fun and imaginative original race too.  This is really the first great webcomic I got into, and it put the option of telling a story through a comic medium into my mind.

I enjoyed reading Metamor Keep stories so much I wrote several of my own and took over management of the website. [;)  This setting isn't so much an inspiration for this comic as it is a collection of things I'm interested in all in one place.  It's fantasy-medieval themed, it's got plenty of magic, and hey, the main character I write about is a fox.  So there you go. [;)

Hmmm... probably can also blame that one awesome Sonic the Hedgehog cartoon I went back and caught up on around that time.  It's just so fun and colorful, but at the same time dark and intelligently written.

2107
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: Comic Questions
« on: November 24, 2008, 12:39:09 PM »
That's nice. But how do you turn it off without having your ship....you know....float into the upper atmosphere? Hm.....there's a loooooot of things I would totally discuss with you about levitating ships if I had the time.

By varying the amount of energy flowing through the circuit.  I intend to get the inner workings of a ship drawn up sometime. [:)

Quote
Foxes never growl or snarl.
(http://www.ipcc.ie/infofox.html)

Nice find!  I knew about the odd sounds, but that growling and snarling weren't one of them is news to me. (Although I'm tempted to do a bit more research, as I've seen pictures of foxes looking very much like they were snarling.)

I just realized where you got the name 'Urocyon' from (the Species name of the grey fox). It made me Lol since I thought at the time that it was a pretty far out name to think of off the top of ones head. |:)

You cannot beat the name Urocyon cinereoargenteus. [;)

2108
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: Comic Questions
« on: November 21, 2008, 05:35:36 PM »
That's actually the airship sound effect. [;)

Anyway how do these flying ships fly? Is there some sort of Blimp thing just out of frame, or is it held aloft by purely mechanical means (flapping wings, helicopter-ish blades, etc)

I want to incorporate the answer into the comic, but it will probably be a long time before I can fit it into the story without disrupting the flow. (I want to avoid random 'how stuff works' comics).  So it can't hurt to give a teaser here.  Basically it involves a large crystal with levitation properties (either enchanted, or naturally found).  The crystal's "energy" is extracted and run through a ring of tube-like wires (which run along the base of the ship) and then are fed back into the crystal. "Spinning" the energy like this creates lift. [:)

Also, are certain foxes better at magic or is it equal? I think it strange that Virmir joined the red army if his dad is a disgruntled war lord. (You know family business) But if the grays and the reds are truced, it would make sense to have some grays in the service of the reds if they were lacking in mages.

Grays tend to be more magically inclined than Reds, but there are plenty of exceptions.  And everyone can use at least a little magic.

((This chapter will end soon enough, don't worry.))

Actually I don't plan on making clear chapter separations.  But if you guys want, we could maybe do a new thread for every group of 5 or 10 pages.  However you want. [:)

2109
Writer's Guild / Re: Musings...
« on: November 20, 2008, 08:45:33 PM »
You beat me to the punch.  I was thinking of creating a writing forum specifically for posting stories and story snippets, since writing is another hobby of mine. [:)

Go ahead for grotesque long-ness.  It's easier to comment on specific sections of your story that way, and people are more likely to read text that appears in front of them rather than what they need to download. 

I rather enjoyed this.  I too have no idea what in blazes all that DnD stuff means (though I pick up bits and pieces from overheard conversations on occasion, heh...) but Lopez is right.  I didn't need to know any of that to understand what was happening.  And the characters are fresh, original and fun.  Good stuff!

I just have some very minor suggestions, since this is already a solid piece of work.

Quote
The room was blue, with white curtains.  Red lace ran around their edges.  They were open, and the sun shone through them.  The floor, worn from years of play, was a beautiful burnished oak. 

I would open up the story in active voice rather than passive.  Active voice grabs the reader's attention and throws him/her into the story, which is critical in your first few sentences.  I'd write the above like this:

Sunlight poured through the open windows, glistening through the red-laced white curtains and spilling upon the radiant blue walls.  Blemishes from years of play marred the beautiful burnished oak floor.

Secondly, the fight scene is good, but you have it crammed into one giant paragraph.  I would split it up based on who's performing the action at the moment to make things easier to follow.

Looks good, altogether!  Can't wait to read more. [:)

2110
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: Comic Questions
« on: November 20, 2008, 08:09:03 PM »
Mwa ha ha ha...

Also, which is more fantastical, flying ships or talking foxes? [;)

2111
Website and Technical Discussion / Re: Welcome!
« on: November 20, 2008, 08:03:23 PM »
Ha ha, thanks!  Yes, I know, ten days is far too long.  But fortunately I'm starting to get a bit faster with the coloring. [;)

2112
Random Topics / Emoticon test
« on: November 17, 2008, 05:36:57 PM »
Hmmm...  [fox] ... [;) .... [:)

Yay!

 [:) {:) |:)

2113
Random Topics / Re: What Internet Browser do you use
« on: November 16, 2008, 12:04:52 PM »
Linked site above doesn't look much like a browser to me, Firefast. ;)

Firefox here.  Of course I have a few more to make sure the sites I work on look okay. If everyone in the entire world would simply use Firefox, the lives of us webdevelopers would be sooooo much easier!

Bowie:  Couldn't you just open up multiple Firefox windows? ;)

2114
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: Comic Questions
« on: November 12, 2008, 06:37:51 PM »
Ha ha!  Well simply put, Caerreyn, the primarily Red Reyn nation, flies a red flag. :)

(Plus it sounds cool!)

2115
Crimson Flag Comic / Re: Making of a Comic
« on: November 12, 2008, 06:30:08 PM »
Ha ha.  I do dream of selling printed archives of the comic some day.  But we've got a loooong way to go before then. ;)

I'm not sure if Tod would be okay with me giving out his exact price.  I'll ask him and get back to you if he's okay with it.  I will say though that at three pages per month, it's a good deal less than what I pay a month for, say, internet access.  This is a hobby for me.  And like most hobbies, it has a cost.

I may consider adding advertisements (sparingly) to the website at some point, especially if the comic becomes popular enough that I need to upgrade my hosting account and/or pay for extra bandwidth.  But for now, things are looking good. :)

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