Crimson Flag Comic Forums
Other Realms => Art Gallery => Topic started by: Lopez on September 11, 2009, 03:35:11 PM
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So, it turns out I was reading up on Chinese history one day, and I happened upon the part involving where all the western countries(+Japan) made China pay huge indemnities and territory concessions everyyyyy....ten years or so. I thought that was pretty cruel.
Then I listened to the song "Hold Me Down" by Gin Blossoms. I thought that was pretty cool.
Then I logged onto the CF website. Then I was like: "Woah, it all fits!"
So, I decided to create a comic based on it. It is short, at the max 20 pages, but more likely 15. But, in addition, this is the first time I've really tried doing Pencil texturing rather than coloring, which I've found is much more my thing. It's still a learning process, so if any of you have solutions to the problems that you see, feel free to critique.
Since good things come in threes, I'll be posting updates 3 at a time, so I can review them and improve my style for the next 3.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page1.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page22.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page3.jpg)
((Yes, I know it's a cardinal sin to include song lyrics in art works, but I couldn't resist doing it for the first 3.))
Question: Go to computer text for next 3 or just try to do cleaner Pencil/inked text?
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Hmmm, The Pencils are quite good, its easy enough to understand/read.
The only think that may be a problem is the upside down text/sideways text. Easy enough to flip over and read on a piece of paper but kinda hard on a computer monitor XD
It looks cool, but I'm somewhat lost as to what is happening . I shall google the song, maybe that'll help a bit! But then again its only the 1st 3 pages I'm sure the story will become apparent soon enough. ]:)
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Awesome, Lopez. [:)
The song lyrics are kinda jarring wrapping around like that. Makes me think this is all some sort of weird dream (though maybe that is your intent. [;)) The one text bubble in the upper right of page two is indeed very hard to read. Computer text on a pencil comic usually doesn't look that great, but on the other hand it's vital that the text is clear and easy to understand. So yes, either put effort into making nice, clear pencil text (I would recommend going with all capitals-- don't just hand-write it like you're taking notes) or go with computer generated.
If you go with computer text, I'd recommend picking up a Blambot (http://blambot.com/) font, and doing the font in a dark gray instead of jet black. (Black type on a gray pencil comic is kinda jarring too, I think.)
Either way, this is awesome! Keep it up! I'm definitely interested in seeing where this goes. [:) And your foxes aren't half bad either. [;)
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Going with hand-done font. Learning how to write in block caps. Next 3!
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page4True.jpg)
Question: Does this work?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page52True-1.jpg)
Question: Did you read through this one too fast?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page6True.jpg)
Question: Fiddling with levels to make it darker, yes or no?
....now that I look back on it. It TOTALLY did not make sense if you just read the first three. Then again, even now it's not making too much sense yet. My advice: pay close attention to the character's attitudes toward each other.
...I have yet to find a good way to portray a song in written form. I will plod onwards, then. Thanks for the comments!
Does the story start to make sense a little bit more with these next three?
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Playing with levels is a definite improvement. Also try increasing both the brightness and contrast. Should help produce clearer, darker lines.
You did an insane text dump on page four, which you should never ever do in a comic. [;) But your striking out parts shows that that characters aren't paying attention as they should, and helps us gleam the important parts.
Page five is very refreshing after four. Yes, it does go faster than four, but you're showing us things with pictures. That's good. [:)
I like it so far. Looking forward to the next part. [:)
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Hmm whatever you did to Page 5 is really good.. looks clear and readable.
From what I gather, the Main character, Sir Vance, is the representative for his province of Larelis? and that hes been summonsed to sign/whitness the signing of a treaty? His territory has been captured? (he seems to be quite civil about it)
Yea like I said on the chat, and as Virmir saidL total TL;DR on page four, but I was also annoyed by the small font, (but you are fixing that now with a bigger scan)
As you probably can tell I'm not getting much of the subtle attitudes and such but there are only 6pages up.. I'm sure things will become clearer as time goes on.
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Thanks for your replies! They keep me encouraged! You're a bit off, Kai, but only because I forgot the name rule for short stories (repeat characters names OFTEN. Don't just assume the readers know them because you do.)
Here's where things start to get dicey. ]:)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page71.jpg)
Question: Why on earth is he doing this? (How was he acting towards the character sitting at the head of the table, earlier?)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page81.jpg)
Question: LOL THE TEXT IS EATING HIM! (That was not really a question.) (Real question, did you follow the text on the bottom correctly? ((It goes from "...what?" to "...what?")))
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page91.jpg)
Question: Oh my. Now what?
End Question:I threw a lot of text in there. Feeling wall-of-texted by it or not?
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Ohh I get it now (maybe), hes one of the conquerors then. It seems somewhat anachronistic that he would be asking for mercy.. especially, questioning a superior member of the peerage... if anything it would be treasonous to even question the monarchs decision.
And seeing as I think I understand the comic more.. this whole 'treaty' ceremony seems un-ceremonious... having conquered another country I would have expected something more flashy, more celebratory for the victors and humiliating for the conquered. (Like the Surrender of Japan, at the end of WWII)
End Question: Actually not really, with lots of (pretty) pictures between the text it wasnt wall of texty at all
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Nice. There was no text wall here because you broke it up with pictures. Particularly like the increasing anger from the one-eared fox.
Also, your art is improving! Look at the last pages compared to the first. [:)
Looking forward to the next part!
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A ha ha ha you can't stop the updates....
I'm only posting these two for now...both because it makes sense that way, and because page 11 was a MENACE to draw. Count them. 30. Ow. Painful.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page101.jpg)
Awwwww how cute. But what's going on here?
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page111.jpg)
Hmmmmm...now what's going on HERE??? This page would be so AWESOME if I could actually draw CONSISTENTLY.
Looking back, I was actually unconsciously influenced in the way I drew this page. See http://www.lackadaisycats.com/exhibit.php?exhibitid=216 (http://www.lackadaisycats.com/exhibit.php?exhibitid=216) for the influence that I received.
Thanks for all your reviews! It helps me to know what ideas are getting through to you and what ideas are a bit too dense. ]:)
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Great job, Lopez. Love these two pages. [:) Nice touch with the awkward pauses. Keep them coming. [:)
Edit: I also just noticed you consistently shade Vance with diagonal lines, and other characters with other directional lines. This is a very subtle and great way to distinguish characters in a black and white comic. Very nice. [;)
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Hmm, I didnt notice the Slanted lines, for Sir Vance untill Virmir pointed it out, and I was going to poke you on the somewhat similar looking-ness of your fox characters.
I still dont understand some what The relationship to CF here actually, and to that song you initially alluded/mentioned in the comic , to clear things up this isnt really set in the Cf Universe right? (this seems to be my major reaction here,)
Hmm so...so Far, we have one Region or Kingdom thats just conquered another region, and now a meeting between the lords of those regions has been made to agree to the terms of surrender. Sir Vance wants to be lenient to the conquered regions, but his Superior (that black dude with the damaged ear) has been affected personally... and thus its clouding his judgement a bit. And in this latest update, Vance is Visting a friend? (thanks to virmir helping me puzzle that one out)
Have I gotten the sequence of events right so far? Now to Puzzle out the meanings behind the latest update ]:P
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Yeah.....sorry about the confusion to relation to CF. The crucial line was in the "Wall of text comic" (the part which was not lined out)
"...the surrender of the gray province of Myna to the United Red Army...Arxas, Merins, Larels, and Geornas..."
Now that that line is cleared up, it should make a bit more sense.
((Notice...the friend he's visiting...it's the same guy as before???))
Also, because no one picked this up, and I was just waaaaay too proud of what I did there to let it go, in comic 11, the one with all the heads, the 4, 8, 12, 16 panels are slightly different. Read them top to bottom.
After a two-week hiatus and one-week of drawing...
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page1222.jpg)
Oh my. Ouch. Poor guy. Next update things will hopefully become more clear.
((Question: do you think it's better to have one small head per text block or have a few large heads for multiple text blocks?))
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Hmmm, you've got an interesting style going on for this one. I got slightly confused on the ordering as the text and images looped around like that., but figured it out in the end.
I'm not sure I like the tiny heads in boxes approach. I understand where you're coming from exactly though-- you want to match an expression with each line. It's a challenge when drawing comics to pick out one expression and pose for each group of speech bubbles. I also find myself putting a single line in one comic panel because I think it's important. But for the most part, I think you want to draw a full panel and match that character's pose and expression to one line, and allow the reader to deduce what's happening for the rest of the lines.
But to end on a positive note, the very last facial expression, "Last year before the war," is very nicely done. [:)
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(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page131.jpg)
Used auto-levels in Photoshop, because Paint.net(What I previously used to do levels) went completely bonkers on me. Better or worse?
This is EXPOSITION...good or no?
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In the pannel what his father dies, he doesn't look like his father died. More like somebody just pantsed him and he didn't have anything underneath.
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Oh wow.. somehow This just works ]:)
The comment on the "Long ears" was pretty amusing, good idea there adding that in for a furry world.
And in the last panel, the image of the desks with the reports, it clearly explains (Visually) why he decided to.. leave? abdicate? Though.. that seems somewhat odd.. considering when what was it... When King Edward VIII of Britian abdicated, and the whole crisis it sirred up, and this was in relatively modern times too. I think Sir Metal-maw would have caused chaos as a suitable heir had to be found.
Anyway, the layout this time just makes the story just understandable.. ]:O I'm kinda happy at what you've done here, though Linear, it gets the job done and isn't that confusing.
The autolevels on photoshop look good, and the text:picture ratio is just right really! The exposition was allright.. especially as you did a 'show not tell' in the last panel.
Hehhe, as always I cant wait to see more!
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Nice page. Looks good to me. [:) Really like the effect of the bottom panel.
The middle panel doesn't really look like he's upset though. Getting facial expressions right is a big challenge that I can relate to, of course. [;)
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Every day I tell myself, "Lopez, it's only 5 more pages, 5 more pages, 5 more pages..."
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page141.jpg)
I tried another something new (every time I have long breaks in between pages, I end up getting an unintended style change.)
I was heavily influenced by a fox print( not a paw print, a block print) that I did for art class. Now the textures are more muddled, rather than the obsession with clarity that I had for the previous pages. Should I keep the more muddled textures or go back to more obvious textures?
And.....ow perspective is hard.
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Haha this awesome.. and as I said on chat, quite understandable! ]:)
Your prespectives looks good in my opinion, Especially in the first panel! Cant wait to see more.
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I like this style a bit more. Nice clear outlines makes things easier to see. Also, nice pacing on this page. [:)
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Yes, Vir, I think I'll try to keep that up. By outlining the characters more darkly in comparison to their surroundings, it makes them easier to distinguish.
Some sort of madness gripped me to update today. ]:O
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page15.jpg)
....this is one of the pages where not much happens. It's killing me to have TWO flashbacks in ONE comic story, but here goes nothing...(This next section is TOTALLY THE ENTIRE REASON I'M WRITING THIS STORY)
Hm....a test? That weeds out most applicants? That causes a lot of military officials? What could it be? ];)
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"Causes so many officials..." too? *waits for nextweeks update before making any comments ]:P
Though I'm still finding it somewhat hard distinguishing characters from each other..
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As you may know, my computer is broken. So, I was so determined to finish my comic today, that when I finished it, I realized, "Oh, yeah, I don't actually have a scanner on my computer anymore." So I took my usb drive and scanned it on another scanner in the house (that has a built-in usb; it's pretty cool)...but the quality didn't come out as good. THEN I said, "Oh, yeah, I don't actually have a graphics program on my computer anymore. Soooo...here's an update.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/HMD_162.jpg)
I'll try to rescan it and relayer it when I get my old computer back.
An executioner??? And what did he say??? Stay tuned. ]:) (Wow, two cliffhangers in a row.)
ALSO! is anyone up for a massive coloring job???
See, When I took my usb drive, I noticed there were some other pictures on it, too. That's right, my old Sir Voltar Comic. I kept hinting at it on the chatroom...but you didn't actually think I finished it, did you??? ];)
Well...it's MOSTLY finished. Okay, it needs text. OKAY, it needs color. OKAY! I left out a lot of the details that I planned to add later. (And, yes, half of the pages scanned in upside down. ]:O No, I don't KNOW why.) But the basic design is there. All 19 pages of it. I didn't think of putting it on here because I was worried how I used Sir Voltar's character and how it was different from how Virmir would use him...(since at the time, Sir Voltar wasn't coming back), (Well, I also realized that I didn't actually like coloring, )so I've left it languishing in my USB drive.
So, if anyone feels wandering and listless and feels like they need to set a new goal for themselves (and likes to color comics((and put in dialogue?)) in their spare time,) feel free to contact me. Just throwing this out here. ];)
But meanwhile, AN EXECUTIONER!? WILL THERE BE VIOLENCE??? ]:O (Hint: Probably not so much)
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Hmmm Interesting thing with the Update... *wonders why they need to serve as an executioner for something like a diplomatic post.. its quite saddening, and as far as I know not a requirement in real life kingdoms...*
Hopefully Sir vance comes up with a plan to get the post... and save that poor fuzzy! (which from the hint seems quite likely)
Anywho.. haha colouring.. blast thats not my forte (especially since Ive never tried) Darn.. cant it work by itself as an uncoloured comic?
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Wow... great page. *Really* hooked on this now. That's an excellent twist. Certainly looking forward to where you're going with this. [:)
And yeah, definitely want to see the Voltar comic. [:)
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Marching to the tune of progress...but slightly slower, because I had to cut this page in half.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/HMB_172.jpg)
Hmmm...it's a flashback...in a flashback! I apologize for more upside-down words, but I didn't see any other way of doing this.
What? A really anti-climatic ending??? Could it be??? ]:)
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haha Anti-climatic ending? Probably not... but either way I suspect the poor fellow might somehow get out of this yet!
Also, is that 'Rev" have his eyes closed on then First panel? or is this some representation of fear/thoughtfulness or whatever. ANyway the upside down text is fine, its not a paragraph of stuff so its not annoying to read. ]:)
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The wheel thing in the middle is a little strange, but I suppose it's works to show him going crazy with people asking him to apologize. In the upper right panel, Snazzle-tail kind of looks like he's smiling (noticed you have this upper curl on their lips a lot-- don't think you want this.)
Quarks aside, really strong, emotional story you've got going on here. Gah... I certainly wouldn't be able to go through with it.
Nice work, and looking forward to the next page. [:)
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Thanks for your comments, Kai and Vir. They really keep me going. ]:) ((*Is building up a big list of things he needs to practice drawing once he gets this done*))
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/HMD_172.jpg)
That begs the question: What's Sir Vance think about all this?
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I just noticed something about your drawing style that's been confusing me. You're drawing a line to signify their chins, and it kind of looks like a smiley face. Kinda been throwing me off. [;) For a front on shot, I'd consider no line at all down there.
Seems like a reasonable development. Guess we'll find out what Vance things soon. [:)
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Aww darn... it sucks he had to die... at least it was a clean cut as he noted. ]:(
ANywho... I Guess Sir Vance, I guess he would be somewhat moritfied.. at least initially, I dont see anyone who wouldn't be.. deeper down, I can't say.
I dunno Vir it looks chinish to me?
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This certainly took long enough. Took so long the pencils started to smear.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page18.jpg)
Hmmmm...what kind of revelation could this be?
More importantly, did you get the flow of the dialogue in the bottom right on your first read-through?
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Huh, one of the lines in there reminds me of a quote for GTA Vice City:
"Kill with Kindness, not a garden tool"-Callum Grashaw on VCPR.
Also, Sir Vance...
<.<
>.>
IT"S TIME FOR THE LANCE VANCE DANCE!
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I like the expressions in this one. The flow on the bottom was clear, even before I noticed the path thing connecting them. [:)
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GAH! DONE! FIN! Not much more to say here. I'll let you come to your own conclusions.
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/Page19.jpg)
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v296/Clincher/page20.jpg)
Thanks for sticking by me through all this...I know there were a lot of month-long lapses between updates, but this is the first webcomic project that I've actually been able to finish, and I feel pretty proud of that. Even though it took me so long that the ending changed no fewer than 3 times, and my character's expressions are still a little off (right up until the last face, I'll need to work on that over the summer,) it was fun to make a full story that had a beginning, middle, and end.
Done, with a story. That feels really amazing. ]:O I highly recommend trying it sometime.
Seee? I told you I can't make a story with more than twenty pa....oh wait, that's 21 if you count the epilogue...
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Congrats, Lopez! Interesting little story altogether, and you've improved your fox-drawing ability through the course of it. [;)
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heheh! Its been fun watching it as it came in throughout the months! Congratulations Lopez! ]:)