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Other Realms => Writer's Guild => Topic started by: Jonas on August 15, 2010, 01:40:51 PM

Title: Bad Wolf
Post by: Jonas on August 15, 2010, 01:40:51 PM
I'm going through a werewolf phase, have a weakness for the Big Bad Wolf, and have been reading Agatha Christie. This is the result.
Title: Re: Bad Wolf
Post by: Dragyn on August 15, 2010, 01:48:12 PM
Hah!  Nice take on the classic.  Not what I expected, but a rather refreshing change.

The first PoV switch threw me off for a bit.  You might find some way to make the transition smoother.  It works the way it is, but it was pretty confusing.
Title: Re: Bad Wolf
Post by: Digital Vulpine on August 15, 2010, 01:54:50 PM
Interesting, and quite the unexpected ending.  I liked it.  {;)
Title: Re: Bad Wolf
Post by: Tvorsk on August 15, 2010, 01:58:16 PM
Gave me a good laugh. And I honestly did not expect the wolf to work with the guy, even despite what you said in the chat and the tone of first part. I expected something more in lines of the girl getting suspicious about the wolf, and hiring or otherwise convincing the man to assist her. {;)
Title: Re: Bad Wolf
Post by: Virmir on August 18, 2010, 08:58:52 PM
Great story! Loved the ending. [:)

The only problem with this is that you use first person for two different characters.  This is a big no-no because it's confusing as heck.  I had to go back and re-read a few paragraphs when this happened, and in all honestly, I thought you were hinting to hint at some body snatcher or shape-shifting theme. [;)  I would seriously consider re-writing one of those characters in the third person.

But all-in-all, was a fun story once you get past that.  Always looking forward to reading what you put out. [:)