Crimson Flag Comic Forums
Other Realms => Writer's Guild => Topic started by: Kasimir on May 29, 2010, 05:11:45 AM
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Chapter 0 - Prelude?
There's a city about 30 miles south of Truesdale. Well rather, there 'was' a city at one time. Now all that remains is an empty ghost shell. Nothing has lived there since the End of the World nearly thirty years ago.
It's a bleak and desolate scene; quite depressing if you ask me. The clouds droop ominously low, sealing out the sun. The crumbled building remains are dilapidated, and the old subway system is half flooded with sludge. Cables hang from and across wrecked skyscraper skeletons, bereft of windowpanes. Highways that at one point connected the city's once robust neighbourhoods have been torn apart, and in one location an eerie congregation of empty charred car chassis are lined up to the edge of a gaping crater five miles wide. At its epicenter was once a toxic waste conversion factory.
This factory existed before the discovery of instant plants. Then again, it existed even before furries did, too. It was primarily used to transfigure otherwise unusable substances - such as nuclear waste, nerve gas, etc. - into harmless, beneficial products intended for consumption. Some examples of transfigured products were extra-creamy peanut butter, non-melting ice cream, and toothpaste that would mend broken and crooked teeth. But it was also the top secret research facility of the Orion Group.
One day, a group of scientists working there decided to play God. Their names:- Ivan Stormblind, Vio Vendia, and Orion chief executive Willard Defacto. These mad scientists wanted to try and create a new kind of lifeform; one that could walk, talk, and think like a human, but wasn't. They wanted it not to be mechanical, but biological. They wanted their creation to have a soul. The operation was codenaned "Darwin's Nightmare." And it worked. These three humans obtained godlike power as a result of creating life.
Humans are evil, filthy, wicked creatures. They have always been easily corrupted by power, ever since the Original Sin. All throughout the ages, humans have proven unto God that they are downright unworthy. Even God's Son would not save them from certain damnation. So God went and created a new race to populate the world - Furries. This time, He almost got it right. Almost.
I think I'm getting somewhere with this....! I have plans for the "Darwin's Nightmare" critter too. I just hope this doesn't end up like Sonic the Failhog. <<;;,
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Heheh! you should certainly continue it, the idea sounds intriguing ]:)
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Sounds interesting, but if you want my opinion cut out the "humans are bastards" plot. It's been done too many times, especially in Furry literature. An interesting spin if the main characters (and especially the narrator) have little to no contact with Humans would be to keep the "humans are bastards" position superficially, as a bias that those characters hold, and have them overcome that bias, discovering the goodness in Humans, and possibly revealing God's unending love for them, as the story progresses. Either way, good luck.
I tend to be an advocate for humans in general though, so you can ignore that idea if you wish. Consider that my own bias. {;)
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I would side with DV, but it all depends on how you develop it. If it ends up as a dualistic "good vs. evil" kind of thing, it's not so sweet. But you leave a little wiggle room with your last "Almost." I would have to see how you develop it...
It's hard for me to make the connection with "It's the end of the world" and "There are furries now". So there's no humans left?
You jogged my memory, so I can't help thinking of that Sonic the Hedgehog series which involved the characters in an actual woodland society and such, with the Evil Dr. Robotnik living in the city. If you don't want me to make those associations, avoid bringing up Sonic. ]:O
So, give me a character or two, and I would be better able to judge this story. General overlays like this are usually a kind of slow start to a story. ];) I hope to see what you post next!
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Thanks, you're absolutely right. I suck at originality.
Scrapped.
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I don't see this story as a generic humans as the bad guys story just yet. It sounds to me like the narrator's gotten burned burned by humans badly, and it spiteful about it. And honestly, I'm interesting in learning how and why. Nice little teaser, Risu. Write more, please. [:)
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I'm restarting the idea with Logic Bomb.
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I need to post my character bios.
Archenemy
"Embrace my Diabolical Vision" - Pilot episode.
"All in Good Time" - Defacto finds a way to slow down or speed up molecules. He is able to harness this technology in the form of a pair of ray guns.
"Your Puny Minds Cannot Fathom" - Defacto captures Pocky and friends, tries to brainwash them. They get away, but are left with biomechanical implants.
"I Delight in Your Convultions" - Defacto remote-controls Pocky & friends with the implants, forcing them to wreak havoc in the City and, when finished, try and kill them.
"My Genius Knows no Bounds" - Our heroes' respective willpower overrides their implants. Defacto creates Trajan, a dragonoid, to spy on Pocky and friends.
"I Know All, I See All" - Trajan chases Pocky & friends around the City, trying to kill them. He ends up betraying Defacto and helps them infiltrate Death Arco.
"The Iron Guard Stirs" - Stage 1 of infiltrating Death Arco. Mini-boss battle between Pocky & friends vs. giant Golem.
"Feed the Machine" - Stage 2 of infiltrating Death Arco, they are found, and sent into the trash compactor. Trajan saves them at the last second.
"Ignite the Clone Forge!" - Pocky is cloned to create Blacky. They fight.
"Introductions are in Order" - Blacky is enhanced thru mutation. Pocky fights again. Blacky dies.
"Behold the Power of Destruction" - Defacto invades the City with Death Arco; a giganormous, indestructible mobile fortress.
"Nothing Can Stop me Now" - Defacto's rampage continues. Death Arco is destroyed from the inside.
"The Pieces are Coming Together" - After the annihilation of Death Arco, Defacto builds D.A.R.C.O, and sets anew scheme in motion.
"Realms Befitting my Majesty" - Defacto encroaches upon the City with plant-crystals that alter the landscape.
"Your Fate is Sealed" - Our heroes go into "Hyper-form". The plant-crystals dissolve. Final boss fight against Defacto begins.
"You Cannot Defeat Me!" - D.A.R.C.O. is obliterated and Defacto is defeated. His previous "good side" is revealed before he proceeds to the Afterlife.
Alot of diffrent things influenced this one. I'll give it a try. (Logic Bomb, where are you....?)