Crimson Flag Comic Forums
Other Realms => Writer's Guild => Topic started by: Jonas on December 01, 2009, 10:20:53 PM
-
All righty... this is set in the FenTech universe. I think it turned out ok. Was my first time writting a transformation sequence so I'm not sure how that turned out, and it sort of tapers off near the end, but I set out to write a toon tf and that's pretty much what I did.
-
YAY! Toon transformation! Good fun. [:)
-
I'm always really interested in reading your stories not only for your writing style but for stories like this as well.
Of course, you probably could never have written this story without meeting Vir...(Or Fen, for that matter.)
But onwards. If I could use two words to describe your story I would use "dream" and "shame". I would probably use "transformation" in there too, somewhere. But the "dream" to become a cartoon fox is inherent throughout the work. However, Jonas (writing a review like this seems like it should feel awkward, but it seems to work,) is constantly repressing his "dream" of becoming a cartoon because of "shame". He expects that other people will look down on him if he wants to achieve this dream.
When he first goes to Dr. Wolf, he opens up a bit, but he still keeps repressing his dream, because of the shame that his want causes him. He doesn't want to be seen as different from the people around him.
However, at the end of the story, after the transformation, he develops more self-confidence. The "reality of his dream protected him," which means that once a dream becomes real, it cannot cause shame. Only those dreams that exist in your head can cause shame, because you don't have the ability to realize them...
For the thrilling conclusion to this review, please move to your designated section. If you are cynical, please move to the paragraph labeled #1. If you are optimistic, please move to paragraph #2. If you are neither of these, skip ahead to #3.
#1 Jonas's failure to realize his dream comes entirely from himself. Therefore, because he lacks the ability to achieve his dream, his shame causes him to repress it. Therefore, only when other people take control over him and force him to face up to his dream does he not feel the shame associated with the dream anymore.
#2 Jonas's failure to realize his dream comes entirely from himself. However, because he has opened his dreams to the honorable Dr. Wolf, Dr. Wolf has the ability to help him. Therefore, although we cannot change the reality of ourselves ourself, (ow), by opening up our ideas, hopes, and dreams to others, they can help us achieve our dreams, and not feel shameful at them anymore.
#3 Jonas's separation of dream and reality causes him to feel shameful. When he states that the dream is to be "real" and not "virtual", it is because he believes that only the actual reality of transformation can cause him to regain his self-confidence. However, Dr. Wolf realizes that only the idea of transformation within his mind can cause his transformation. Therefore, the "formula" is not actually real. No transformation actually occurs in this story. Instead, Dr. Wolf sees the need for the illusion of the dream to allow Jonas to develop a feeling of worth and self-confidence, and acts accordingly.
In conclusion,
YAY! Toon transformation! Good fun. ]:)
-
I must say... it really is an ego boost to have my stories analyzed on the same level as my English class's texts {:)
-
Awesome story Jonas!
-
The lower area becomes G-rated ]:O
]:) Awesome, that sentence had me curling into myself laughing. Great story!
-
The lower area becomes G-rated ]:O
]:) Awesome, that sentence had me curling into myself laughing. Great story!
I don't really get what was funny about that, but thanks!