Crimson Flag Comic Forums
Other Realms => Random Topics => Random Insanity => Topic started by: Fen on October 20, 2009, 11:19:12 AM
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Zombies are dangerous, so... zombie plans: if you have one, share it.
I have two:
1. Escape to friend's house. His entire family has experience with hunting and has gun and ammo.
2. Blend in with zombies by making myself insanely dirty while wearing tattered clothes and hoping they're darn stupid enough to fall for it, then survive off of abandoned stores.
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(#2 wouldn't work, as they would recognize anything that's living as not one of their own. It's not really scent or smell that gives it off, but the same thing that tells you immediately upon looking at a human that they're of the fellow species.)
3. Have the following three weapon types at all times:
*Medium-Long Range: Pistol, Rifle, Assault Rifle, or some form of weapon that can kill zombies at a distance.
*Short-Medium Range: Either a shotgun, chainsaw, or chemical/flamethrower, as you need to be able to dispatch of zombies that aren't quite in melee range.
*Melee: A blunt or pointed weapon in which you can use without causing any loud noises, for sneaking around and conserving ammo
4. Have a plan, don't stay in one area too long, make sure you have safe food and water supplies, and stay away from heavily infested areas no matter what. Anybody inside a heavy infestation will likely have joined the horde by the time you reach them.
5. Don't get bitten. If you're bitten, you die. Do not hesitate to bring down anybody who is reluctant to do it themselves. Never assume you're immune.
6. Don't Panic.
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1. Your level twenty Mage Staff won't help you in a zombie infestation.
2. Zombies can't operate vehicles. Use this to your advantage.
3. Grenades are your friend.
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1. lrn2killzombies
2. ? ? ?
3. profit
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7. Go to the nearest Lowe's and grab your favorite weapons (IE, chainsaw, shovel, chainSTAFF, chemical throwers, etc.)
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8. Move to Alaska.
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9.GRAB MORE GUNZ
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8. Move to Alaska.
9. (alternate) Ask Doc Nickel (http://the-whiteboard.com) for help.
Tho I still prefer
0. GET YER AHSS TO MAHRS! (and leave Earth to zombies.)
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zombie plans also change depending on the kind of zombie...
fer instance,
Shamblers
with shamblers, never stop moving. don't go anywhere that doesn't have many ways to get out, including up. they're slow and easily outran and maneuvered, but there are more than enough to surround you easily. If you can, get to a rooftop that is close enough to other rooftops to have an alternate, less zombie-filled route. NEVER try to fight them unless you are in a very defendable location, have enough ammunition to kill two armies, and have friends. Escape is your best bet, as the slower zombies will only occupy a certain area before a military force is likely to have set up a killing line, keeping them trapped. If no military force has done this, it is still best to leave as soon as possible.
Runners
runners are a different story, though. they move fast, but there aren't as many. Your only hope to get past them is to "kill" them, which means enough traumatic damage to kill the brain, or get the brain removed from the body. With this kind of zombie you should make sure they have all been "killed" before moving on. Move from one building to the next, preferably with only two exits, both barracadeable. Horde anything useful that you can. find anything that can be used to transport goods more easily, but don't weigh yourself down- find that balance between weaponry, food, water, ammunition, and maneuverability. It is likely that you will need to bunker down many times, so choose where you go wisely. Each kind of building has advantages and disadvantages; stores usually have easily-broken display windows, allowing larger and more entrances for zombies. Homes have lots of easily movable furniture for barricades, but many smaller entrances and might have an unknown zombie or two inside; the family who lived there once.
Mutants, or 'The Infected'
The third, and most deadly kind of zombies are the mutants. they are similar to runners, but usually rather than raised from the dead, they are people who have been inflicted with some sort of virus or odd mutation, making them pseudo-zombies. The reason they are the most dangerous are because of said mutations. while most will probably be essentially the same as runners, it is likely some will be more advanced in the mutation process, and may have inhuman abilities, drastically increased strength, speed, survivability, or a way to make your presence known to other zombies. Treat this form of zombie the same as runners, but especially so- carefully inspect where you are going before you go there. Look for abnormalities and find out what that mutation can do, and anything you can do to stop it.
Groups, General Information, and Advice
for all zombie situations, get into groups. even if you don't like the people in the group, you're stuck with them. know this, as well: the more people there are, the harder it will be for one to betray you all. Even if they run off with all your money and a good portion of the supplies, they'll be weighed down immensely, and they'll be alone. More likely, a betrayal will be a either a group split, halving the number of people in each, or the betrayal of the entire group against a single member. For this reason, become valuable. Know the area, get good at killing zombies (though this is less needed in the case of shamblers), help everyone in the group, and don't abandon anyone if possible. If you let one person go who could have been saved without great risk, your reputation with the remaining members will plummet. Most importantly, never loot the dead body(ies) of the group, unless absolutely necessary. Not only will your reputation for letting them die be shot down, but taking from them afterwards shows you have little respect for those around you and feel they are expendable. This sort of behavior can make you expendable in the eyes of the group. Avoid fighting amongst yourselves, and don't kill anybody off unless they plan to do the same for you or another group member, and make sure everyone knows it before you do so.
More information may be to come, but for now, that is what I have to offer as advice for various situations and group work in general.
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As a note: Know Your Zombie Facts!
Shamblers: The 'classic' zombie. They are slow due to decaying/decayed flesh and muscle. Never run unless you have to, as most people can outwalk these guys. Their strength is in numbers, so avoid places they can easily ambush you, like alleys and offices. Remember to carry light weapons and something blunt or bladed to kill the zombies with, as you will typically not have to fight many. I honestly suggest a handgun as your gun and either an axe, hammer, or metal bat as your melee.
Runners/Rage: A newer form of zombies. They are not 'dead' so much as taken over by a virus or parasite that either makes them act on primal instincts or, in worst case, develops sentience and travels to Not-Spain where they kidnap the US President's daughter and try to take over the world with their one ship. When fighting these guys, keep moving and look for methods of calling for help. It is also advisable to use silenced weapons, as these types of zombies will run to any form of noise in search of food.
Mutants: Make a chart, know which does what, keep moving, avoid contact, and good luck. You'll need it.
Where to go: Suburban areas are your best bet for waiting out the zombies, as it gives you plenty of areas to loot while still having a manageable population of zed heads.
If you are infected: If there's no cure, and you find yourself infected, there are only two things to do. Either bring down as many as you can, or make sure that their forces don't grow one stronger.
Other: Mosquitoes and ticks suck.
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Infection: if you are caught by a zombie or zombies, and are injured and survive, check yourself for any form of cut, scratch, bite, anything that broke skin or resulted in mixture of blood. If one of these situations has happened, warn whoever you can. watch yourself and make sure that when the group sleeps, you are kept in a locked room. If you do not turn, you are lucky, but never assume you are immune or even resistant to becoming a zombie.
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253 - Barricade said underground safehouse's door with boxes of scorpions. Zombies hate scorpions.
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253 - Barricade said underground safehouse's door with boxes of scorpions. Zombies hate scorpions.
And make sure the scorpions are on fire
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...Or we can just avoid zombies. o_o
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Build a doomsday machine and threaten to blow the entire world up if the zombies attempt an uprising... and promptly forget to announce the existance of said doomsday machine until after the uprising has begun.
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Step 1: Be in the military.
Step 2: Acquire armored vehicle (seriously, why do they NEVER do this in the movies? Even the soldiers just march right in on foot.)
Step 3: Proceed with pwnage.
Step 4: If all else fails, call in air support. (again, something they never do. AH-64>>zombies.)
Follow these simple steps and a zombie outbreak will never get past class 2 or 3.
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Step 1: Be in the military.
Step 2: Acquire armored vehicle (seriously, why do they NEVER do this in the movies? Even the soldiers just march right in on foot.)
Step 3: Proceed with pwnage.
Step 4: If all else fails, call in air support. (again, something they never do. AH-64>>zombies.)
Follow these simple steps and a zombie outbreak will never get past class 2 or 3.
Have you read World War Z?
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I haven't, but I have read the Zombie Survival Guide, which actually doesn't mention armor or air support (that I remember), but that's understandable because it's geared toward civilians, who don't have access to that kind of firepower.
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In World War Z, the USA attempted to have a 'moral victory' in which they set up lines of soldiers, tanks, and artillery in front of an advancing horde, broadcast to every working television in the US. The soldiers were armed with suits that told them everything that was going on at once, which would be helpful in conventional warfare. Sadly, this was far from conventional. The tanks were almost useless, as the blasts from the shells only killed things in a short radius, and sent some zombies flying towards the front lines. The artillery strikes had similar effect, and the first wave was mostly the soldiers shooting crawlers created from the prior mentioned blasts. After the first wave, everybody rejoiced... briefly. The second wave came in, about five times the size of the first, and the horde began pushing the lines back. Halfway through the fight, a small group of zombies broke out of an apartment door, likely left by families who couldn't bring themselves to kill their infected relatives, and swarmed a soldier. The suits kicked in, and the soldier's screams were heard throughout the entire army. This was when soldier panicked. Everything they knew was impractical in this kind of battle, they were trained to shoot the torso, not the head, and the fact that crawlers were hard to tell from the amassing corpses made surprise bites common. The battle ended with the third wave adding to the fourth of the remaining second wave, and about half the US army fleeing on live television, being broadcast to every working TV in the country.
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That's why you don't use infantry against zombies. Zombies do not have antitank weapons. No infantry, no casualties, no new zombies, no morale failure. I also note the lack of air support and incendiary weapons. As mentioned in the Survival Guide, the only drawback to using incendiary weapons (ie napalm) is collateral damage. Be prepared to cause a LOT of collateral damage. Of course, this is assuming normal, traditional zombies, not super-mutated high-speed zombies that can punch through tank armor.
I love infantry, but they have no business fighting zombies.
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Well, this is the US army we're talking about. And we all know how smart the US is about fighting.
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Actually the US army is the best in the world, our soldiers are the most trained and best equipped, and our commanding officers are brilliant tacticians (for the most part). The only problem is the US military is also the most politically correct fighting force in the world. They fight with both arms behind their backs because they don't want the Media throwing a fit about how mean winning is. Against an enemy like zombies, however, I would hope that sound strategy would take precedent over political correctness. Nearly all the stupidity in the armed forces can be credited to a politician or lawyer somewhere.
For a perfect example, google Rules of Engagement and see the number of circumstances where a soldier is not allowed to shoot a known enemy. The soldiers hate it, the officers hate it, the generals hate it, but some politician somewhere felt like bending over backwards for the anti-war crowd (funny how Russia or some other country waging war is just fine with them, but that's a different rant) and shackled our troops with ridiculous rules of engagement.
End of line rant.
Edit: some idiot in Hollywood made a movie by that name. Google "Rules of Engagement Afghanistan" instead.
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We DO have the best army in the world, but sadly our military leaders answer first to our political leaders, which is why the above mistake was made. The politicians wanted a flashy victory to 'boost moral' in the nation, when they should have had marksmen up on the roofs picking off the zombies one by one efficiently and quickly.