Crimson Flag Comic Forums
Other Realms => Random Topics => Random Insanity => Topic started by: Kyte on September 15, 2009, 09:18:23 PM
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Title!
And to be more specific:
"Oh yeah! Well, I'm gonna go out and buy you ice-cream; with no sprinkles!"
"Pft, I'm gonna sneak into your house at night and touch all your windows so they have finger prints on them!"
"Gasp! for that, I'm gonna stuff your remote in the cushions so it delays you changing the channel!"
Remember, slightly inconvenience at the worst.
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"While you're sleeping at night, I'm going to keep calling your phone right before you fall asleep, thereby keeping you awake all night!"
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"I shall eat all your garbage!"
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"I'll eat one of your muffins, thereby making your supply run out a day early!"
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"I'll set your house on fire, put the fire out, then set it on fire again!"
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"I'll set your house on fire, put the fire out, then set it on fire again!"
That's actually rather threatening.
"I'll put this $0.02 candy on you credit card bill!
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"I shall torture ye with the fury of a million plush hamsters!"
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"Gasp! Then I shall move your entire room's layout one by 90 degrees!"
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I'll make you listen to lame 70's music for 5 hours!
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"I shall make you listen to a two minute song that you don't like!"
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I'LL MAKE YOU LISTEN TO THE SONG THAT NEVER ENDS!
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"I'll poke you into submission!"
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"i will make you watch bad movies!"
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"I'll make you watch Twilight and you're not allowed to laugh!"
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"I have the most diabolical plan yet! I shall give you an insincere complement! I swear I'm gonna do it!"
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"Anything but that! If you do, I'll poke you for the next five second!"
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I'll make you talk to old people!
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I'll take the last ice pop!
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"I'll rearrange all the food in your house so that none of it is where it was supposed to be, giving you minor confusion!"
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I'll cook some popcorn and eat it without giving you any!
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"well I'll poke your walls, increasing the time they'll eventually collapse by a few seconds!"
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I'll poke you in the side! Providing a slight annoyance!
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Yeah, well I'm gonna poke everybody except you so you'll feel left out.
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"yeah, well I'll poke myself so everyone feels left out!"
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Oh yeah? Well I'll tell you a movie comes of five minutes later than it really does, so you miss the beginning!
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"Oh yeah, well I'll move your computer monitor 5degrees to the right, distorting your view of things on it slightly!"
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And I'll move your five degrees to the left!
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well I'll touch all your tape a couple times on the sticky side, reducing it's stickiness!
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I'll put tape on a button for a video game controller you own so that when you push it down it'll get stuck for a few minutes!
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well I'll glue your mouse down so you can't move it around until you rip it off your desk, which will then leave annoying little glue bits on your desk and mouse!
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and then I'll rearrange the contents of your desk so that they've flipped sides!
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I'll use your hats as shoes!
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I'll install twenty MMOs that cost money to play on your computer, leaving you with tons of unused space and no way to use it!
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I'll install and EBook reader, and download 'twilight' onto your computer so much that the computer will explode from poor writing!
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"I'm gonna write a story in which your character only gets two lines before he dies!"
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I'm going to write a story in which you only say dumb one-liners throughout the story and don't do anything productive!
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"I'm going to slightly unscrew all the pencil sharpeners in your house so the blades only barely scrape the pencil!"
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I'm going to remove your printer's ink cartridges!
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"I'm gonna tell Uncle Kage on you!"
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I'm going to keep asking you who that is instead of Googling it myself!
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I'm going to tell you who it is so your threat is rendered MOOT! AND I'm going to make the explanation LONG!
Uncle Kage's the chairman of AnthroCon Incorporated. He's got a PH. d in Chemistry and is known in the science realm as Doctor Samuel Conway. His fursona is, surprisingly, a cockroach... shadow... samurai.
He's a really creepy dude and has been known to ban people from AnthroCon for just messing around... but otherwise he's pretty funny. It's hard not to laugh at his Story Hour, a skit that he performs at AC where he tells you a hilarious hour-long story about his many exploits in travel and science, and about his friend 2Gryphon.
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I'm going to force you to only go to Moot's site for the next five minutes!
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I'm going to draw a mustache on you in your sleep!
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I'm going to make you a cultural 'cute' icon, making obnoxious girls never stop leaving you alone!
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I'm gonna give you a diet instead of a regular!! D:<
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I'm going to give you Pepsi instead of Coke!
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That's the same thing!
I'm going to fill your inbox with SPAM!!
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I have a filter.
I'll set a leaf nearby your house of fire!
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I'm going to peel the googly eyes off your pet rock!
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I'm gonna drink multiple cans of soda and not give you any!
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I'll eat brownies and not share!
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Soda's bad for my teeth anyway...
I'm going to stop using exclamation points at the end of my threatening posts so you won't know if I'm being funny or not!!
Starting now!
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Well I'm gonna sneak into your house when you're away, switch your 'n' and 'm' keys, and then hope your a touch-typist.
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I an a touch typist. How dare you. Mow I cam't type right. Amd to nake it worse I cam't use ny exclanatiom poimts.
I'n goimg to mot fimish ny story amd you'll have to use your owm inagimatiom.
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Don't worry, we don't care. ];)
I'll post lots of crappy fanfics on the site and place them in the wrong forums to annoy the mods and admins, and indirectly you!
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Moooooooooooooooooooooo! I'n takimg back ny threat about the exclanatiom poimts!! *switches my keyboard buttons back*
I'm going to make a really lame knock knock joke! KNOCK KNOCK!!
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I'll ignore you, making it so you can't finish the joke.
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I'm not going to do anything but exclamation points for my threat!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I'll block your comments!
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*makes a comment, but it's blocked*
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I'll walk into your house and keep saying 'Tee Hee' over an over again!
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I'll get (http://a.furaffinity.net/teeeheee.gif) to make you stop by out teeeheee'ing you!
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I'll drug your food so you fall asleep long enough for me to TeeHee Kiba!
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I'll... uhhh....
......
/me is out of threats ;_;
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I'll give you a list a lame threats, even by this thread's standards!
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well I'll fart in the same room as you!
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Well I'll belch at your dinner! Unless you live an Canada, in which case I won't!
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I'll give you games for free, but none of them will be playable!
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I will cover the entire floor of your living room in sellotape sticky side up.
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I will cover the entire ceiling of my house in double-sided tape, and use the ceiling and my new floor to foil your plan, making you a little discouraged!
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I'll ignore you randomly in conversations to make it seem like I don't care!
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I'LL POST WITH CAPS LOCK ON BECAUSE, NOT ONLY IS IT CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL, IT WILL ANNOY ANYBODY WHO DOESN'T LIKE ALL CAPS POST.
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welltheni'llpostusingnospacessoyouhavetopickoutallthewordsonebyoneinmysentences!!
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YEAHWELLILLDOBOTH!CANTREADMENOWCANYOU?!
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WELLI'LLMAKEMYTEXTEVEHARDERTOREADSOYOUWILLHAVETOSTRAINGYOURSELFGOINGTHROUGHALLTHEDIFFERENTEFFECTSASWELLASNOSPACESANDCAPSSOTHERE.
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I'll walk into your house without talking off my shoes!!!!!
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well I'll knock on your door and run away before you answer it!
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adasefwshbvhgdbghChsnrrsrkhzisdHIIIIvjjsrjbncjnhkmfxnzm, m,smzkuflghsxildnflgirk
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!sdrawkcab taerht siht etirw ll'I llew
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Well I'll still read it without any decent amount of trouble, making it so that you wasted your time!
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Well I'll move your drink while you aren't looking a foot to the right!
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Well I'll hide your remote between the couch cushions!
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Well I guess I'm just gonna have to dig for it!
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I shall fart in your general direction!
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Then I'll say its rude
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then I shall fill your pantry will easter eggs!
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I will fill your pants with whoopee cushions!
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Then I shall sit on them!
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I shall put glue on the inside of the whoopee cushions so you have to use a shower or a bath to get them off!
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The Toast shall dunk self with molasses and hug all of of you one by one.
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I shall then eat the delicious toast and take a shower!
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While I blow my nose in your bed's comforter!
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The Toast shall tie you up and stuff you on a couch and force you to watch Battlefield Earth.
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Than I shall pay you back and force you to play Cheetahmen II !
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The Toast will bring in a Virtual Boy and force you all to play in super eye-straino-vision!
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I shall make you play Halo 3 online using on the pistol!
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The Toast will create giant conspiracy and tell all the annoying squeaky prepubescant Halo players where you live
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I'll tell them they have the wrong address and point them in the direction of your house, also telling them not to believe a word you say.
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I will look down upon you in a superior manner from my throne of PC gaming.
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I will look down on you due to your lack of No More Heroes 2
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I will not care for your JRPG with lightsabers! I shall play Team Fortress 2 with updated weapons and rub it in the faces of the console drudge-men.
Hey, this is the 100th reply!
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I shall go Demoman and spawn-camp you!
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I shall shake my bottom at you with the Scottish Resistance!
(http://tf2wiki.net/w/images/3/36/Second_eye.png)
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I shall hit you with a direct crocket white you taunt!
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Then you shall bask in my gibs!
oh, wait...thats bad...
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Then I shall brandish my equalizer while the freezecam forces you to watch!
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I shall take a screenshot of you exploding and add it to the wall-oh-hilarity!
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The Toast shall link you to TVtropes (http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TVTropesWillRuinYourLife) and cause you to waste uncounted hours!
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I shall ignore your link and watch it backfire on you!
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I shall bomb the TVTropes server buildings along with the adjacent countryside!
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The Toast shall laugh as said bombing takes out the factory where Alexshrub's cherished PC games are manufactured.
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I'll force you to attend a talk on advance computer science, leaving you very confused.
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I shall absorb the information and use it to hack your profiles for them to say "I'm in love with Saxton HAAAAAAALE!"
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I shall hack you hack and replace Saxton HAAAAAAAAAAAALE with Chickenbeetles!
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I have protection on the profile that delete yours when mine is attempted to be hacked!
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The Toast shall lock the TV to show nothing but the Weather Channel all day long!
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I shall be happy as I love the weather.
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then I shall steam your dumplings a minute too much!
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The Toast shall replace the entire world's food supply with nothing but broccoli!
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I shall retaliate by informing you that I like broccoli! >:3
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The Toast shall bore all of you to death by lecturing on the developments of 10th century Byzantine poetry and its legacy on later Greek art forms!
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I SHALL REPLACE ALL YOUR DRINKS WITH DIET MOUNTAIN DEW!
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I shall then secretly lace said drinks with my TFing potions :P
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I shall (un)secretly enjoy them!
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I shall kill this thread.
There, it is dead.
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I shall revive it to prove you wrong.
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The Toast shall summon nuclear weapons!... and leave them inconveniently scattered around the floor in such a way that it is inevitable that you will stub your toes!
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I shall move them to the closet and put 'Please Do Not Open', then hide the vacuum cleaner behind the nukes!
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The Toast shall replace the entire world's supply of cotton with moth balls!
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I shall replace the moth balls with spider silk!
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I will the used the silk from it to make my own spider silk rope and tie you to a chair!
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I shall take a nap because the chair is very comfy!
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Then I shall place a ticker clock next to the chair therefore preventing you from napping for two minutes!
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I shall ignore it because I'm a heavy sleeper!
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I shall have the chair start to absorb you!
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I shall be extremely tacky and uncomfortable, and be completely unfazed during the absorption that it's boring to watch!
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The I will have the chair spit you out in disgust as a chair-cat
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I shall still be asleep!
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Gasp! Then I shall drop a Styrofoam bucket on you!
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I'll set the bucket on fire!
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Zzz Zzz Zzz
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The toast shall light himself on fire and erupt into a mushroom cloud spraying soggy breadstuff everywhere.
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I shall use impossibly cheap equipment to collect said breadstuff and place it in one immediate area.
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I shall unleash a powerful thunderclap by Geary-Chair's ear!
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Chairs can't wake up! ...or speak for that mat-
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The Toast shall let his dogs run amok and encourage them to sit and roll on the Geary-chair and other furniture!
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I shall then distract the dogs via CATS!
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I shall then distract the dogs via CATS!
CATS: How are you gentlemen !!
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The Toast shall preempt attempts at Engrish with Basque!
Ogia ez du nahi zure barazkiak dira galdetzerik.
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I shall feed you chocolate-covered Salmiakki!
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I shall replace the chocolate with soy-chocolate!
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The Toast shall spam the forum with Twilight ads!
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The Toast will likely be banned for spamming tasteless content ];)
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This is a threat
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This is a counterthreat.
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this is SPARTA!
I will kick you into a hole.
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I will counter your kick and instead flip you in the hole!
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I will counter your kick with an elvish rope to grapple on to your foot and drag you down with me!
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I will revive a thread that died months ago!
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And thus I shall borrow a ban hammer and send you into next week!
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*Responds that he's necro'd this thread a couple times himself and uses that necromancy to revive Charlie Chaplin*
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I threaten myself with the forced consumption of veggies!
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I counter that with extreme necromancy and BICYCLE REPAIRMAN!
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I'll stay at your house and play the didgeridoo badly for hours!
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I'll sing within a 10 foot radius of you!
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I'll poke repeatedly you until you become somewhat annoyed by it.
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Oh, yeah?! Well, I'll pluck out my stray eyelash hairs and flick them at you!
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I'll necro this thread (again.) and try to force Tech to sing at you!
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I'll sic the otters on ya and have them do otter things!!!
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Take your pick.
1.I will annihilate you! On JUPITER!
2. I will confiscate your rodeo powers!
Please return threats after using. Thank you and good night.
-Kieli, Supreme Ruler of Kieli Industries
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I'll eat all the cookies!
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I'll go back in time and eat most of the cookies before you do, but I'll leave one uneaten and forbid everyone from touching it! Forever! And it will be the best one. And I'll name it after your worst enemy.
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I'll give you a piece of pizza with anchovies
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I'll give you a piece of pizza with anchovies
These are supposed to be lame threats, not death threats!
I'll never stop calling you out for going against the rules of the thread!
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I will force you to divide by zero and give the answer in the ancient Egyptian standard measurement system! Written in the Norse alphabet, with every other vowel replaced by CF smileys! On a Saturday! At 4:00 AM! [:O
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I will remove the copy & paste keyboard shortcuts from your device, forcing you to manually right click copy and right click paste every single time!
HWAHAHAHAHA!!!
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NOOO! You will pay for this-
I will lower your desk just enough so that your legs don't fit comfortably underneath it when you're sitting there!
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I won't let you draw a fox again! EVER! {:(
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I will point out that you just threatened yourself and laugh at you!
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I will threaten you!
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I will make you sleep in a sleeping bag instead of a bed!
And I'll point out that I just revived this thread! HAH!
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I will make a lame threat if you guys don't watch out! And it will be both entirely lame and completely threatening!
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I will make a lame threat if you guys don't watch out! And it will be both entirely lame and completely threatening!
I will watch out just enough so that you will keep planning your threat but never actually be able to do it.
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Well, I'll force you to drink only a drop of my tea at a time!
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I will make you see atoms! Twice! [:O
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I will give you all the Hot dogs in the world one as a time
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I will throw pie all over your house and make you clean it up
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Oh yeah? Well, I'll make it so you think you left your keys somewhere, but when you go to look...you remember they were elsewhere instead!
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I swear I will shove you off I five foot cliff into water!
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Oh yeah? Well, I'll make it so you think you left your keys somewhere, but when you go to look...you remember they were elsewhere instead!
Oh yeah? Well I'll shift every piece of furniture in your house 3 inches to the left