Author Topic: Tales of Auldrant Vampire Diaries (WIP)  (Read 8785 times)

Vincent

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on: February 16, 2011, 01:26:40 PM
This is a small bit of the prologue from my side of the story sooo...Enjoy! :3


A note from the Author:
This is a bit of a collaboration between me and a good friend of mine. Now this is a different type of collab, You know how most music artists post 2 or more different versions of the same song right? This follows that suit fairly closely. The both of us do litterally work together on the crossover stories, and occasionally we break off and go do our own.
It's an interesting approach to this story seeing it played from a Vampiric Coyote's perspective and then played out by a fox who uses light magic who form an unlikely bond that grows closer over time. A rift tears the two apart and they spend time trying to find each other.

It's best to read both sets to really grasp the situation.  I'd love to hear what parts you liked what parts need to be improved on. I'm constantly trying to improve my writing skills as a way to keep the one thing that makes me, me. If you feel like giving feedback, contact me at toyocoyote[at]gmail[dot]com and please add "Feedback For your Story" to the subject or Gmail will filter it to my 'flame folder' which gets deleted on a weekly basis.
I WILL RESPOND TO YOUR FEEDBACK! PLEASE BE PAITENT! I got a busy life and this is something I'm doing on the side.

I hope you read my note and look forward to writing back to you. Cheers!

~For a very special friend who never gave up on me. Even when I gave up on myself.~

(c)2011-2012 by "Vincent Ghostwaker" All rights Reserved

Tales of Auldrant Vampire Daires

Part one: Second Solution
Prolouge: Death at a Funeral: A second chance at life?
 
Cold…it was all he could feel. Cold. He had absolutely no idea why he ever came out to this **** ground in the first place. It was just another funeral. What was so special about this one? He’s seen many a person buried in the dirt while others mourned their loss. The coyote, about 5 foot and 9 inches leaned against one of the frozen trees. He stood out like a sore thumb seeing his thick fur was jet black, with purple and orange eyes. He looked young, maybe around 20 or so, but the way his eyes looked weary said he’s literally seen it all. Hair tips colored a neon indigo color were covered by a rather odd top hat. A orange band around the base with a Joker card and an Ace of Spades card wedged in with a pair of old looking aviator goggles on top. The insides of his ears were a dark blue as so was his nose. His underside fur was a dark gray color. He wore a black t-shirt that fit across his chest somewhat tightly. As an old black trench coat covered his body He gave off a mixed feeling of sorrow and hope.
 
He sighs gently as he looks on the funeral, the bitter winter bearing down hard on him making him shift slightly. The clouded sky and snow seemed to devoid anything of its beauty and color. The colors of the mourners, some that were vibrant were now merely muted versions. It seemed like not  even the sun could punch through the thick clouds to at least give a sign of hope to them. He felt depressed for the one fox with the, what he could guess, had a coat of vibrant rustic red and cream fur coloring, only for right now the rust coloring looked like a semi-thick layer of mold just suddenly enveloped a pack of meat, robbing it of its true red while the cream looked faded and tawny.

He perked his ears forward as he saw the grief-struck fur took the podium after the Priest stepped down, and Rouge released the fox. He listened intently as the fur spoke, it was difficult at first, the fur’s voice was dry and slightly cracked. Apparently the fur being buried was named Jake. The fur continued to mention how he met him, Raven and Rouge at the local Catherdral, getting to know each other and falling in love with each other. He felt a stab...not a physical one, but emotional one. What the fox said his close to home with him. It was not too long ago he had to watch in horror and sorrow as his brother, the next to the last surviving member of his family die in his arms when he was young. He shivered slightly from the emotional weight just now realized as he lowered his head. The fox stepping down as the Priest stood back up.

He looked back up as a long black cloth was laid over the casket. Hearing Yuko and the Priest begin a prayer in Latin, he followed as well perfectly, he spoke several different languages, he was strong in English even though he had a Australian accent as they were about lower the casket.

He shivered again, the temperature dropped more it seemed, then there was a nagging feeling in his mind. His instincts told him to go into defense mode. He didn’t understand why here all of the sudden...wait...was that blood? he took one sniff...then another...it was...faint at first then growing stronger as he hear the familiar high pitched wail of attack. He cringed, a horde of vampires was coming. He then realized it was a day of feeding...all he could do right then and there was yell out “RUN!” at the top of his semi-frozen lungs as he dashed for the group...

Then it happened...
-----

I might post the link to the finished version along with his on here. Just depends on how things are played out.
« Last Edit: February 16, 2011, 01:43:19 PM by Virmir »

(07:12:13) * Vincent shifts eyes and tips Virbot over
(07:12:13) VirBot: *shifts eyes*


Virmir

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Reply #1 on: February 16, 2011, 01:46:40 PM
Hi Vincent,

I've removed the "warning" part, since strong opinions on religious topics are not allowed here, so you will not get "flamed" for that sort of thing either way. Mentioning that you don't want to get flamed is quite unnecessary, since that sort of behavior is not tolerated in the first place. [;)

That said, I'll read this and get back to you with feedback soon. [:)

[fox] Virmir


Vincent

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Reply #2 on: February 16, 2011, 01:48:07 PM
Yeah it was dumped into the story and i forgot to white it out. Thanks for the edit though!

(07:12:13) * Vincent shifts eyes and tips Virbot over
(07:12:13) VirBot: *shifts eyes*


Virmir

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Reply #3 on: February 21, 2011, 07:31:04 PM
Forgot to post this the other day.

Looks like a good start, though a bit too early to give much feedback.   The somber mood at the beginning works well, and is a good contrast to what I presume is the main character's somewhat comical appearance.  The use of "fur" suggests that there are humans in this setting too. (As opposed to "non-furs".) I do like the promise of action at the end, so looking forward to reading more. [:)

[fox] Virmir