Crimson Flag Comic Forums

Other Realms => Writer's Guild => Topic started by: EmperorDJ on October 06, 2009, 12:42:55 AM

Title: TASATF
Post by: EmperorDJ on October 06, 2009, 12:42:55 AM
The Awesome Story of an Adventure of Three Friends
By
2dogsandaDJ
Chapter 1: The Reckoning of Tomorrow
I'll destroy you!” -DJ


It's Las Vegas, Nevada, 1684. Three friends were walking a dusty rode on three horses. “I can't believe we just stole these horses from Old man River Casket." Said J.J, the fat kid of the group.  “Well, we just did!” Exclaimed DJ, The black kid. “Tar nation!” Agreed Salty, The traveler from Spain!  The dusty street seemed to laugh along with them. Everything seemed like the fun wouldn’t end until…  WUBAM!  A big big big big big big big metal thing come outta no where! Then three 59 year old men jumped out of the big big  big big metal thing. The man with eye patch yelled at the boys, “YOU THREE HAVE TO SAVE THE FUTURE OF THE UNIVERSE, NOW! RIGHT NOW!”

"eep" uttered. the 3 boys


To be Continued





 The 3 Friends are based off of me and 2 of my friends (in RL).The chapters will hopefully get longer.
Btw, All the people so far are human >.>
Title: Re: TASATF
Post by: D. Ein on October 06, 2009, 01:11:47 PM
Alright, good luck =)
Title: Re: TASATF
Post by: Virmir on October 07, 2009, 05:44:52 PM
Ha ha... interesting start here. [;)

One thing you want to do when writing dialogue is make sure that each speaker gets his own paragraph.  So whenever you change speakers, start a new paragraph-- even if it's only one sentence.  For example:

Quote
"Look, I'm speaker one!" the brilliant fox declared, cape billowing about.

"I'm speaker two!"

Suddenly, a ninja-cat burst from the sky window, spraying shards of glass upon the two fuzzy critters. "And I'm speaker three!"

Also, your story is set in 1684, but Las Vegas wasn't established until 1905. [;) (I'd just make some place up to fix it. [;))

Keep writing!
Title: Re: TASATF
Post by: EmperorDJ on October 07, 2009, 10:41:54 PM
I was already told it wasn't made in the 1600's @_@ but I gotta say this: MY STORY HAS A LOT OF PLOT HOLES AND WRONG DATES. AND THIS IS UNIVERSE B, THATS WHY "THIS" IS "THAT" AND EVERYONE'S GUN HAS INFINITY BULLETS! :D
Title: Re: TASATF
Post by: Geary on October 08, 2009, 02:44:50 PM
So basically it's an excuse for you not to do any research on anything ever?
Title: Re: TASATF
Post by: D. Ein on October 08, 2009, 03:06:22 PM
So basically it's an excuse for you not to do any research on anything ever?

Psh. Who needs research when you have imagination? =)
I'm sure there are no sentient frogs out there, just like there aren't any hell-gate mountains or towns where everyone's name is their title, or post-apocalyptic trees... I couldn't research these things very much. I felt like creating worlds of my own, and having fun with them. Same here - if there's a universe in which America had been settled by 1600s, why the heck not?

On a completely unrelated note, INSPIRATION! I will post in the RP later tonight.
Title: Re: TASATF
Post by: Geary on October 08, 2009, 03:44:51 PM
So basically it's an excuse for you not to do any research on anything ever?

Psh. Who needs research when you have imagination? =)
I'm sure there are no sentient frogs out there, just like there aren't any hell-gate mountains or towns where everyone's name is their title, or post-apocalyptic trees... I couldn't research these things very much. I felt like creating worlds of my own, and having fun with them. Same here - if there's a universe in which America had been settled by 1600s, why the heck not?

I never said it was bad, I was just making a little joke. If only you could put [joke][/joke] around words and if somebody tried a serious response, a hand would fly out of the monitor and slap them in the face.
Title: Re: TASATF
Post by: EmperorDJ on October 08, 2009, 11:45:25 PM
So basically it's an excuse for you not to do any research on anything ever?
More or less, yes! ~_~