Author Topic: Comission: Sunsets and Sunlight  (Read 11486 times)

Jonas

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on: October 12, 2010, 12:58:29 PM
My most recent comission. The person wanted a story set in the Housepets universe where he gets turned into his fursona. He also requested a romance with the bat named Cy, who I think is a friend's fursona. First time writing a romance scene.

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie


Stormkit

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Reply #1 on: October 13, 2010, 02:45:21 AM
Okay, read this and while well written, I can't say I liked it terribly much. I personally always try to avoid fanfictions where established characters play a part. That and the scenario itself just seems unlikely. Even in Housepets, the higher order beings don't spontaneously turn people into other things for reasons beneficial to the person. There would have to be serious strings attached which were not in evidence in this story. Furthermore, the pets have proven to be not terribly accepting of different scenarios and I can't imagine them not at the very least giving Shy trouble for liking not only a guy, but a bat which is a different species.

However these are all criticizations against the person who requested the story, not you. The story itself was fairly good and you managed to pace it well.

Of the four elements,
None is predominant.
Of the four seasons,
None lasts forever.


Virmir

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Reply #2 on: October 14, 2010, 08:24:55 PM
Cute story.  Think you adapted well, given the requirements.  Now I'm left wondering how Rick Griffin would would draw a bat. [;)

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Jonas

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Reply #3 on: October 15, 2010, 07:56:39 AM
I think he did as part of his "Housepets-style" character comissions.

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie