Author Topic: A Winter's Storm  (Read 3315 times)

Geary

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on: January 03, 2013, 06:15:37 PM
Alright, normally I don't post my stories because they tend to be rather personal and/or embarrassing, but I felt the need to post this one up here.

A Winter's Storm

Scene: A recently engaged couple, Jonathan Brown and Sarah Keis, are driving through a road in Norway in winter, when a snowstorm picked up rather suddenly while the two were taking a shortcut off the highway. Unable to see properly, John wrecks their truck, though it was minor enough that neither were injured. John steps out of the car and checks under the hood to figure out what the damage is, before slamming it shut and climbing back into the truck.

John: (Furious) Dammit, the engine totaled, and the battery looks busted too.

Sarah: (Solemnly) I can't get a connection out here either. Heh, strange, you see this    happen so much on TV and movies you never really believe it might actually...

John: Don't worry, we just need to get onto the highway, and somebody will pick us up. We'll just ask to use their phone and call a pick-up truck. (Scoffs) Some vacation this turned out to be.

Sarah: (Amused) I told you buying the rental insurance was a good move. They'll take care of all of the costs and get us a new one, and then we'll just go on like nothing happened. After all, what's one day?

John: (Defeated) I suppose you're right. Besides, as long as we're together, we'll be fine. (Kisses her on the cheek) Now, come on, grab your coat. The heater's dead, so we'll freeze our bums off waiting in here.

The two start trekking through the forest, attempting go back the way they came and find the highway. However, the two find themselves lost in the flurry of snow and wind.

Sarah: (Shivering) God damn it, where is that highway? If the snow didn't cover our tracks, we would have found it in ten minutes, and it's nearly been half an hour.

John: (Stoic) If we keep heading in one direction, we're bound to stumble on something. We just have to keep calm and make sure we don't let ourselves get turned around. How are you holding up?

Sarah: (Forces a smile) I'm okay, though I'd like to crawl into a nice warm bed and just go to sleep. (Amused) I must have gotten resistant to the cold or something, it was starting to hurt my hands and feet something awful, but I can barely notice it now.

The two pause. John looks back at Sarah, panicked.

Sarah: (Visibly worried) ...John? What's happening?

John: (Consoling, but obviously scared) You're going to be fine, but we can't stay in this cold any longer. (Looks around frantically) There, you see that? There's a burrow in that tree.

John digs the snow out of the abandoned burrow.

John: (Relieved) Good, it's more than big enough for the two of us. Step in, dear.

Sarah crawls into the burrow, and John follows after.

John: (Feigning confidence) Hey, watch this, I learned it on one of those survival shows  you hate you much. (John piles snow over the entrance of the burrow) See? It'll protect us from the wind, and keep any snow from sliding in. We'll just rest here until the storm blows over, and then everything will be alright, I promise.

Sarah: (Weakly) Thank-you, dear. I won't complain whenever you tape over my stories, anymore, I promise.

The two huddle together for warmth.

John: (Comfortingly) Trust me, when this is all over, I'll buy you every season of all those shows you like, and I'll even watch them with you without saying a word!

Sarah: (Weakly) And you won't groan when we get to the plot twists everybody knew were coming?

John: (Comfortingly) You won't hear a single noise from me.

Sarah: (Weakly, but happily) I'd like that.

The two drift into sleep, holding one another in their arms. The scene fades out, and fades in to a news studio two days later, where a reporter is giving the latest news.

Reporter: ...And piling on the tragic losses we've all suffered from the sudden storm this week, two people, a man and a woman, were discovered in the forest, frozen. They have been identified as John Brown and Sarah Keis, and were here on vacation. As we reported yesterday, their truck was found, crashed, ten meters from the 480 Highway. The coroner said that, because they had taken refuge in an old tree trunk, they had passed in their sleep, painlessly. Additionally, three hunters were found...

The scene fades out.
« Last Edit: January 03, 2013, 06:17:18 PM by Geary »

Geary: That means you get a companion for four levels, then it gets an upgrade.
Draykin: A very PAINFUL upgrade.
* Digital_Vulpine eeps, since the rules don't specify that I'm exempt from the psychic link that Wizards have with their familiars. o_o;
Geary: GET YOUR PET DRUNK.


Virmir

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Reply #1 on: January 08, 2013, 08:34:57 PM
Most scripts I've seen read a little rough, but this is an exception. This is driven by the dialogue, which is quite well done and believable. Though you only give us a brief glimpse, we're already interested in these characters in this short scene as we're shown tidbits from their lives.

And then they DIE? WHAT!?

This is depressing! Geez! I mean, I realize snow is a cold heartless killer that kills millions every day, and dying because of it is a common everyday thing, but geez!  I suppose this is a character writing exercise or something. [;)

Can tell you're an experienced writer. Show us something with plot!

[fox] Virmir


Geary

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Reply #2 on: January 10, 2013, 05:32:34 PM
It was actually just a school assignment to create a script, which I threw together in about ten minutes or so. >.>

My longer stuff is, oddly, worse. I think it's because, when I'm given unlimited space and time, I tend to drone on and lose interest before the work is properly finished, but short or time-sensitive work makes me try and put as much interest, emotion, development, and character in as few words as I can.

Geary: That means you get a companion for four levels, then it gets an upgrade.
Draykin: A very PAINFUL upgrade.
* Digital_Vulpine eeps, since the rules don't specify that I'm exempt from the psychic link that Wizards have with their familiars. o_o;
Geary: GET YOUR PET DRUNK.