Author Topic: Meeting  (Read 6820 times)

Jonas

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on: November 22, 2009, 11:15:31 AM
Again, this is set in the Pig and Whistle universe.

A man enters a forest clearing and sits down on a fallen log. Quietly he sits; five minutes pass, then ten, then twenty, but he continues to patiently wait at this spot. In time, he turns in the direction of a rustling bush, and sees a wolf emerge into the clearing. The man is not afraid. For a moment, the two do nothing but regard each other before the man places a small package on the ground. The wolf slowly approaches and cautiously inspects the item. After taking in its scent, the wolf looks up at the man, and he sees confusion reflected in its eyes—a flicker of a long forgotten memory. It lasts but an instant before the wolf takes the package in its jaws and makes its way back into the woods.  Only after its image fades into the trees does the man rise from the log and make his own way out of the forest.




“Happy Birthday, son.”
« Last Edit: November 25, 2009, 12:35:38 PM by Jonas »

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie


Lopez

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Reply #1 on: November 25, 2009, 11:58:50 AM
Awwww...this story is sweet. The last line gives away the plot of the entire thing, and you can't help viewing it right from the start, so that's a bit of a downer. You might consider concealing it within the paragraph? Other than that, really good writing. Short, but still just elaborate enough.

...but that's just my opinion, so don't let it bother you too much!


Jonas

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Reply #2 on: November 25, 2009, 12:35:14 PM
Thank you very much. I'm going to add a few more spaces to keep the speech out of eyesight of the text.

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie