Author Topic: 3 Hour Story  (Read 8103 times)

Geary

  • Pyro
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 3
  • ****
  • Posts: 912
  • I want to be a tree.
    • View Profile
on: November 19, 2009, 09:10:04 PM
It's a story I did in three hours, counting distractions. LOWER YOUR STANDARDS NOA!!!

----------

Brand New World

   I woke with a start, hearing a gunshot. Moments later, there was a flash of light and I was thrown against the eastern wall of the small crowded room I was being held in. The western wall was completely gone, it's shattered planks lying scattered around the room. "Ugh." I moan, moving my limbs so as to test which were damaged. Noting that I had nothing over a severe back ache, I inspected my bare body. My white fur was a dirty tan, though it was like that prior to the blast, and I had a few spots of blood running down my right arm and forehead. Miraculously, I had taken no serious wounds, but the shock prevented me from rationalizing this thought process for a good minute. I rose to my feet and stumbled, trying to see if anybody either of the other two people were still alive inside the room. I could hear two moaning noises and turned my attention to them. One of them was my bunkmate, a short, male grey fox, the other was a newcomer who I'd yet to learn the name of, but had earlier been able to identify as a female iguana. I gasped as my eyes passed over her body, seeing it damaged beyond  recognition, and missing the left facing limbs. I turned my eyes to the fox, seeing him cringe in pain. I quickly rushed over to him a inspected him for wounds. Finding none, I sighed with relief and questioned him. "Are you okay? Can you walk?"
   The fox stood, using the wall as support. "I... I think I'm okay, just a few bruises, hehe- ow..." The fox cringed and I rushed to his aid. "R-really, I'll be fine. I'll just stay here for a minute..." The fox's tongue fell out of his muzzle, and he began panting heavily. "Could I ask something of you? Go out there and see what's going on... I have a feeling that this wasn't the master's doing..." The fox slid back down onto the floor.
   I placed a dirty white paw on the remains of the wall and climbed over it, looking upon the dust covered plantation in which I slaved every day on. Something was wrong... after an explosion like that, one of the humans should have came to inspect it... and likely rid of us for allowing it to happen, but they didn't. None of them were even in sight. I looked around frantically, then noticed a crackling noise. I made my way around the structure in which I was kept, and stared in awe at what I saw. "The... the mansion... it's burning!" The master's mansion was indeed on fire, and likely every human who resided in it. "Who- what could have done this!?" The answer came from behind my range of vision, in the form a thick Russian accent.
   "We did comrade. We have freed you, and now our kind is no longer slaves to those naked apes. Tell me, do you know the location of any survivors?"
   I turned with a start, seeing a black furred wolf wearing a Russian officer's outfit. Behind him were dozens of similarly colored wolves, wearing lower ranking outfits. "What!? What's going on!?" The dust had settled by now, and I could now see the rest of the slaves around a large campfire for warmth, along with the Russian soldiers checking bodies to see if they were alive or dead, applying first aid to the slaves, and dealing with the humans appropriately.
   The officer gave me a queer look. "Do you not know, my fine feline friend?" The wolf placed a paw on my shoulder. "I'll tell you, but first you must tell my something. Do you know the location of any survivors?"
   I hesitated for a minute, then shook my head. "Y-yes, there's a fox in-"
   "Take me to him comrade, we must gather our kind as fast as possible, to avoid ambush." The wolf stated bluntly.
   I led him to the structure I was forced to reside in, showing him my bunkmate, and averting my gaze from the iguana. I watched as he reached down and assisted the fox in standing, then shouted out to his soldiers.
   "Men! See what clothing you can salvage from those barbarians. There should be no reason why our fellow men and women aren't even given a shred of decency." The officer shouted as I followed him to the campfire. After lying the fox down next to a log, he turned his attention to the ex-slaves. "So, how many of you know why we're here?" Silence. "Let me tell you a tale. A tale of subjection, prejudice, and cruelty..."

   A wolf walked intently through the forest, wearing only a loincloth, and falling on all fours so as to avoid being seen. He catches the scent of something he's never smelt before, and looks around frantically. Then, a booming noise cracks through the air. Two white men walk to the wolf, who's leg was now bleeding. The older of the two spoke first. "Man, we either found a new slave, or this is one smart wolf." The wolf didn't understand their language, and the humans began communicating to it through drawings. They told it to return to it's people, and the pain in it's side would disappear. The wolf returned to his people, but the two men had followed him, and they later returned with a large group of hunters, captured the tribe, and sold them off as slaves. Suddenly everywhere around the world, people began searching for these creatures, knowing that finding even one would pay for a king's luxury. Hundreds of years later, with slaves of all different species and origins, one began to question everything. He was killed by his master. A riot broke out. The riot broke out into full war. The masters avoided telling their slaves, lest the slaves rise against them. But news travels quickly, and a plantation not knowing of the war became a rare sight. Nearly all of the plantations with the slaves were liberated, and their cruel masters given only death.

   "...that, is the story of why we are here. Granted there are a few omissions, but that is all we need to know." The wolf reached to a pouch, pulling out a revolver, pointing it towards a bush behind him, and firing. A grunt sounded off, and a man fell out of the bush. "Know that we will now falter. We cannot be put down. We shall rise, and the humans shall know what they are dealing with! They face millions of superior creatures, all prideful of who they are, armed with equal firearms and superior natural weaponry!" The wolf raised his paw to the air. "We will win this war! We will be free from their tyranny! And most of all, we will do what will make them unwilling to make any actions against us, make them fear for their own kind, and make them never raise their guns in defiance! When we are victorious, we will do what they will never expect. We will spare them."

   Three months later, a treaty was signed. Slavery and prejudice had been outlawed worldwide, and the countries were united into a single unit, one without corruption and war. I found myself in a stable job, I owned a restaurant, and most ironically, the majority of my employees were human. Though I treated them all fairly, I couldn't help but feel tension between us. Maybe that would fade with time, and then everybody would be treated fairly? I don't know. All I do know is that everything I have, I thank to one, black furred wolf, and the army who stood by his side throughout the revolution and fixed this broken world. Thanks to them and their sacrifice, we can all live a brand new world.

Geary: That means you get a companion for four levels, then it gets an upgrade.
Draykin: A very PAINFUL upgrade.
* Digital_Vulpine eeps, since the rules don't specify that I'm exempt from the psychic link that Wizards have with their familiars. o_o;
Geary: GET YOUR PET DRUNK.


Lopez

  • Resident (Human) Analyzer
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 2
  • ***
  • Posts: 236
  • Your friendly local Human Representative
    • View Profile
Reply #1 on: November 25, 2009, 12:13:18 PM
Mmmmmm...I like your bittersweet ending. Did any slave-related literature inspire you for this? Don't be afraid to develop this world further, but be careful how you do it. Too much and it just becomes a Black-and-White (literal) tale (without the pun.) There's so much going on in the surface of this story, that I really want to see you dig deeper. You could go so many pl....okay, I'll stop giving out broad-swath comments and just say, "Good Job. Maybe you should try it again some time?"

...but that's just my opinion, so don't let it bother you too much!


Geary

  • Pyro
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 3
  • ****
  • Posts: 912
  • I want to be a tree.
    • View Profile
Reply #2 on: November 27, 2009, 04:59:56 PM
Um... well, I've said before that it was a school assignment, which I, in all my vast (lack of) wisdom, put off til three hours before I had to go to bed the night before it was due. The assignment was to make a story about revolution, be it social, political, or emotional. I chose the second... I think...

Geary: That means you get a companion for four levels, then it gets an upgrade.
Draykin: A very PAINFUL upgrade.
* Digital_Vulpine eeps, since the rules don't specify that I'm exempt from the psychic link that Wizards have with their familiars. o_o;
Geary: GET YOUR PET DRUNK.


Lopez

  • Resident (Human) Analyzer
  • Mage of Caerreyn, Level 2
  • ***
  • Posts: 236
  • Your friendly local Human Representative
    • View Profile
Reply #3 on: November 27, 2009, 08:45:08 PM
Ohhhh, school assignment? Hopefully your teacher understands the...anthro style. It's far, far more a social revolution...well, in my opinion. I always thought the slavery issue more social than political.

This does remind me, however, of my story I had to submit for English class...

...but that's just my opinion, so don't let it bother you too much!