Author Topic: The House in the Hole  (Read 8471 times)

Jonas

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on: November 20, 2009, 05:51:46 PM
This is just a little viginette I wrote about Jonas's den. Its set in the Pig and Whistle universe and contains a few small references you won't understand without reading this => http://shifti.org/wiki/The_Fool_in_the_Fox. Enjoy!

If I had to name what I felt was the weirdest thing TFOR did to me, I wouldn’t mention being turned into a fox or having my aging skewed—but rather that it gave me a preference for sleeping underneath things. I suppose it’s a survival instinct since I’m so small, but I still think it funny at times that I’m more relaxed sleeping beneath a bed rather than on top of it. The reason I bring this up is because whenever I mention that I live in a den, people tend to ask me why I don’t keep an apartment—or at the very least why I don’t stay in Flynn’s guest room. The truth is that I simply don’t like houses that much. They’re too big and I’m simply not comfortable with the way the furniture towers over me. It’s a silly anxiety I know, but it’s just the way things are for me. My den is one of the few places that are perfectly designed for me. The ceiling is low enough that I don’t feel smaller than I already am, the floor is soft dirt instead of hard tiles or wood, and everything is at my level instead of sitting on counters or tables I need a stool to reach.  People say to me that I can’t be very comfortable in a hole in the ground, and to them I say they’d be surprised. My night vision is good enough that I only need a small nightlight, and its batteries last for months at a time. I keep my clothes and personal items off in small pockets, and my bed is mass of pillows and blankets. Sure, I’ll never be able to invite my friends over for dinner, but it’s a small price to pay for a space that’s completely and unequivocally mine.

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie


Lopez

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Reply #1 on: November 21, 2009, 08:19:21 AM
Very much reminds me of Virmir's story about a hole in the ground. But I think that's just the title similarity.

This would be a great start to a story. It's very personal...I really connect with your character. You avoid over-elaborating on the exact specifics of description and instead focus on the character's reaction to it. I also read the Fool in the Fox story and I very much liked that as well...*places your work on "Favorites:Books&Reading:Writers'Sites"

...but that's just my opinion, so don't let it bother you too much!


Virmir

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Reply #2 on: November 21, 2009, 12:06:54 PM
I like mental and habitual changes that come with physical changes.  Good job. [:)

[fox] Virmir


Jonas

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Reply #3 on: November 21, 2009, 01:31:35 PM
Very much reminds me of Virmir's story about a hole in the ground. But I think that's just the title similarity.

This would be a great start to a story. It's very personal...I really connect with your character. You avoid over-elaborating on the exact specifics of description and instead focus on the character's reaction to it. I also read the Fool in the Fox story and I very much liked that as well...*places your work on "Favorites:Books&Reading:Writers'Sites"

Hehe, thanks a bunch. I'm not very good a descriptions myself so its easier to just write about how a character feels about an environment rather than how they see it if that makes any sense. The name is sort of an in-joke for me, since I've gotten into the habit of naming all of my PaW stories The ____ in the ____

"Technically speaking, phoenixes are actually pretty flammable." --Donnie