Author Topic: "Reyan Saga" (unfinished)  (Read 78349 times)

Virmir

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Reply #45 on: May 31, 2009, 09:05:35 PM
Thanks for all the comments, folks!

I noticed you put a special emphasis on "evil" just for me. Why, thank you.

You're welcome. [;)

Ah, bunnies: classic. Bloody, bloody, bloody, and a good dose of cool in this part.

It's funny.  I'm hemophobic and blood makes me squirm, but I can write a bit of it in without any trouble.  How much blood appears in the mind's eye is totally up to the reader though.  It has less of an impact on me because I imagine the story as a cartoon. (Of course.) [;)

Thanks folks!  Without your support I probably would have gotten bored of this story after part two.  But I'm feeling confident I'll see this one to the end, however long that may take. [;)

[fox] Virmir


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Reply #46 on: June 06, 2009, 07:42:56 PM
Hello, first post here. Anyway.

I am somewhat self educated in japanese folklore and I really like this story.

However I just came to wonder... What if you surgically implanted a lifestone into its owners body?

Better to write for yourself and have no public, than to write for the public and have no self.


Virmir

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Reply #47 on: June 06, 2009, 08:39:05 PM
That's a good thing to think about, actually.  I suppose it would save lots of trouble. [;)  Then again, there's not much in the way of tools for doing things like this.  At least not out in the wild as we see here. [;)

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Reply #48 on: June 06, 2009, 09:12:04 PM
I suppose it would save lots of trouble. [;) 

Heh and it would probably destroy all oppertinites of making a good story out of the world, if all the reyan did that ];)

What would be more practical (and conducive for generating good plot lines) would be some sort of collar or pouch in which the life stone could be mounted or placed...

Or you could go the whole dungeon quest thing and keep it secutre in some deep dark cavernous system, full of traps and such for the meddlesome adventurer ]:)

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Virmir

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Reply #49 on: June 06, 2009, 09:41:22 PM

Heh and it would probably destroy all oppertinites of making a good story out of the world, if all the reyan did that ];)


Ha ha.  There could be repercussions of course.  Like it needs to breathe of something. [;)


What would be more practical (and conducive for generating good plot lines) would be some sort of collar or pouch in which the life stone could be mounted or placed...


Yep, you're on the right track.  Though Gavin has nothing out in the wilderness. [;)


Or you could go the whole dungeon quest thing and keep it secutre in some deep dark cavernous system, full of traps and such for the meddlesome adventurer ]:)

He he, would work, but remember the reyan can't separate from it too far for too long.

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Reply #50 on: June 08, 2009, 01:30:56 AM

Or you could go the whole dungeon quest thing and keep it secutre in some deep dark cavernous system, full of traps and such for the meddlesome adventurer ]:)

He he, would work, but remember the reyan can't separate from it too far for too long.

Its the reverse kryptonite!  [:)



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Reply #51 on: July 30, 2009, 07:13:45 AM
Hmm...

I'll brood on this for awhile now.

Thanks a lot, gents.



Virmir

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Reply #52 on: September 30, 2009, 04:35:29 PM
Apologies for taking so long with this.  I'm only able to write when inspiration strikes, so several-month-long gaps in-between parts are going to be pretty standard.  At this rate I may finish this blasted thing in a year or two. [;)

Thanks everyone for your continued interest in this.  Just keep poking me for updates and I'll make sure I'll get one to you every once in a while.  I'm going to see this through to the end. [;)


----


Part 5

The blood just wouldn't come off.

Gavin dunked his head in the fast flowing river, letting the cool current run through his jowls. The sweet blood taste wouldn't go away, and that scared him.

He cradled his lifestone and sat in the flowing water, nearly toppling over.  It would have been safer to leave it on the shore, but he wouldn't dare part with it again.  Not even for a moment.

"You're clean." Mara said from her perch atop the riverbed rock.  Her voice was tiny amongst the swirling stream, but his ear turned and caught the words.  He shivered in the cold current.  Dawn's sun began to peak through the trees and he hoped it would be enough to warm him.

He stood on two legs, knees a bit shaky from the previous night's experience and the lapping current pressing against them.  He shut his eyes and turned his ears towards the forest, drinking in the calm songs of morning birds. He was far away now.  Far away and safe. They had run for hours.

He began making his way back to shore, careful not to slip on the slimy flat rocks.  His digitigrade feet were unsure in the steady current, but he didn't want to shift to all fours and dunk himself again.  Unfortunately, he misjudged his footing right off the bat and fell flat on his muzzle with a loud splash. "No!" he screamed as the stone slipped out of his hand.  Icy coldness gripped his heart as he felt it taken by the current. "No!  Not again!  Not again!" He frantically tore up the stones, looking for his precious gem.  Keeping it safe was such a curse!  Oh gods, why did he ever wish this?

Mara leapt off the rock and disappeared into the river with the grace of an otter.  Another lump formed in his throat.  She was so small, she would surely drown! Upon all fours he splashed out of the water and ran down the bank, hoping to glimpse her yellow-green fur.

Something gripped his heart again, and he stopped under a grove of trees as she appeared on the shore, dripping wet and panting.  She held his dimly-glowing lifestone up in the air with two paw-hands.  "Here."

Gavin sat on his haunches, ears folded as he towered over the little creature. "You would... give it back without a wish?"

"Of course. I would never be so cruel to you..."  Her eyes were nervous, but sincere.  He took the stone in his claw and pressed it against his heart.  "Thank you... thank you so much."

Mara fell to all fours and shook the water off-- a quick vibration that started at her nose and moved down to the base of her long tail.  Gavin felt he should do the same, but was embarrassed that he probably wouldn't be able to do it right. "Now," Mara said, interrupting his thoughts, "we should do something about that stone. Ye keep dropping it, and that is dangerous."

Gavin watched as she bounded over to some tall grasses and with great effort, uprooted them one-by-one. "Get ye some rest, and I'll tell ye when I'm done."

Having run all night, he was indeed tired.  He padded over to a sunny spot in between some river rocks and curled up on the ground, cradling his lifestone in one hand and wrapping his tail over it.  Mara dragged her grass reeds to the stone opposite him and arrayed them across it, then scampered up top and inspected them.  She chose two and began to twist them together, holding them down with her footpaws for leverage.

"What are you doing?" Gavin finally asked.

"Making a stone-holder for ye.  'Twill be strong and safe.  Ye will see."

Gavin wasn't sure exactly what a stone-holder was, or how something made out of grass could be strong.  But he let her work anyway.  It looked like the turgan wore armor made out of thatch or something, anyway.  He shut his eyes and shook his head, not wanting to remind himself of the battle.  "Thank you... You don't have to follow me any more, though.  You're free to do whatever you want."

She smiled at him, then continued her work. "I don't have anywhere else to go, I'm afraid... The turgan troupe is routed.  And father was cruel to us all... The new elder will be as well."  She paused from her work, tail drooping as she collected her thoughts for a moment before focusing upon her task with renewed intensity.  "I want to follow ye," she said resolutely, then her usual timidness returned. "If ye will have me..."

Gavin's jaw worked silently for a moment.  "But... I don't know where I'm going... or what I'm doing..."

Mara's twisting grass started to take the form of a rope, though much thinner.  More like a string. "Ye reyan travel between planes, do ye not?  Don't ye all seek to leave this world?  Take me with you... please?"  Her eyes pleaded as she cupped her hands before her chest, grass dipping on either side.

"I, uh..." Leave this world?  Why?  But of course... it was horrible here...  Strange little warring creatures everywhere.  No sign of civilization apart from primitive animal-tribes.  And all of them out to get his stone. Was that what Radis was doing in his world?  Did he really want to go back there? Back home?

Yes... yes, he did.

But what was it that Radis said about not having enough tails?  Did he really have to survive hundreds of years to gain that ability?  How could he possibly last that long?!

He didn't want to be reyan anymore... oh, how he wished he could give it back!

"I'll... I'll try, Mara.  If there's a way, I'll try... But I just don't know. I just don't know..."  The last words muffled as he buried his nose in his tail.

The answer satisfied the little turgan, and she went back to her weaving.  "I will help ye, Gavin. I will help ye in any way I can."

It took a while, but the wonderful warm sun calmed his nerves.  Eventually he drifted off to sleep.

----

When he awoke, the sun beamed down from directly above and his fur was dry and fluffy.  He considered finding a meal, but the events of the previous night seemed to satiate him, at least for now.  He opened his maw and yawned.  He hadn't felt this good for a long time.

Mara wasn't on her rock, but he could see something in her place. It looked like a long string-rope, coiled around upon itself.  He lifted his head and swiveled his ears until he heard her claws scrape upon the pebbles behind him.  She greeted him with a half-eaten berry held like an apple. "I'm done, if ye want to try it."

"What is it?"  He asked again.  The thing she made just looked like a string to him.

"'Tis a stone holder-- one for ye size, silly."  She finished the berry, then bounded on all fours to her rock, pulling the string off it so it collapsed on the ground.  The thin rope was bound in a loop with what looked like a large knot where the ends joined and two small, stone-sized loops extending from it. "Ye loop yer lifestone within these, ye see." She put her fist within the smaller circles and pulled them tight, affixing her hand to the bigger rope. "Then ye loop it around ye neck.  Simple, eh?"

"Ooooh..." Gavin's eyes widened. "A necklace!"

Mara's tiny ears perked.  "Whatever ye reyan call it.  Here, try it."  She offered the string necklace to him.  It looked surprisingly sturdy for something made of grass.  He wondered if perhaps her people had some magic weaving abilities.  Resting on his elbows, he touched his lifestone to the end-loops, but his claws were much too big to manipulate them.

"Do ye... want me to do it?" She placed her hands behind her back and looked away shyly, folding her ears. "That is, if ye trust me with it... 'tis okay if ye don't."

"No... I do."  He held out his hand and offered the stone.  His heart raced as she reached for it.  He trusted her, but blast... after all he had been through, it still made him nervous.  Mara didn't deserve that, though.

Mara was very gentle with his lifestone and her grip was totally unlike the icy clutch of her father.  Still, it was a disconcerting presence around his heart, and he fought to hide any signs of his discomfort.  Sitting right before his nose, Mara fit the stone in between the two loops and arranged them so they formed an "x" at the bottom of the gem.  Then she took some spare grass and weaved more loops in-between and around the stone to make a net of sorts.  Gavin watched the process in fascination.  The grass seemed to wither at her touch, browning somewhat and toughening to leather-like consistency as she deftly guided it along.  There was definitely some force at work here he did not understand.

When she was done, the stone securely hung at the end of the makeshift pendant.  She offered it and he placed it around his neck, the tiny rope becoming lost within the folds of his fur. Best of all, the stone hung just above his heart-- where it felt the safest. So warm! "This is wonderful!" he exclaimed, holding up both of his free hands.

Mara grinned broadly, displaying her little canines. "Be careful now, 'twill snap if ye tug on it too hard.  But 'tis better than carrying the thing in ye mouth."  She yawned and stretched. "Mind if I rest here a bit?"

"Certainly not."  He slid his tail closer to her.

She plopped on the ground, propping her back against it. "'Tis good... to be in the sun."  She yawned again.

"I can imagine... living underground like that." Though Gavin's experience underground was biased, of course.  He realized she must have been pretty tired, as she was awake all night just like him.

"When we surface, we turgan stick to the underbrush lest some flyer come and snatch us up.  But with ye..."  She rolled to her side and snuggled up to his tail-fluff. "With ye so close, nary a soul will come by and bother me."

Gavin grinned inwardly at that, his self confidence gaining a much needed boost.  He'd protect her, no matter what.  It was the least he could do.  His eyes became heavy with drowsiness as well.  Another nap wouldn't hurt.

[fox] Virmir


KaiAdin

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Reply #53 on: September 30, 2009, 04:38:02 PM
* KaiAdin Squees and goes "YAY" even before he has read any of it!

Ah, and I just finished reading it! *Is heartwarmed by the growing friendship (and perhaps romance?) between the two* ]:)

I hope nothing happens during that nap... considering what happened before, anything can happen while they both nap ]:O
« Last Edit: September 30, 2009, 04:59:54 PM by KaiAdin »

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Reply #54 on: September 30, 2009, 09:59:04 PM
Awwww, how cute. He's being all self-reflective. 'Bout time, I guess. Though, I'm not sure that grass-made holder will hold together during a fight.

But...is Mara really secretly trying to use Gavin???

Unlikely. She's just all nice like that. But if she had to make a choice, I think she would still pick herself to save. She's not quite THAT selfless, yet.

Hooray for writing! I'll be sitting here anxiously.

...but that's just my opinion, so don't let it bother you too much!


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Reply #55 on: September 30, 2009, 11:19:01 PM

What would be more practical (and conducive for generating good plot lines) would be some sort of collar or pouch in which the life stone could be mounted or placed...


Yep, you're on the right track.  Though Gavin has nothing out in the wilderness. [;)


Hehhehe! Itrs been so long since the last update, I forgot I made that prediction (though it seemed like the obvious thing to do) and YAY the problem has been solved!

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Reply #56 on: October 01, 2009, 02:04:33 AM
Not much to comment on for this one...

Give us more, Vir!



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Reply #57 on: October 01, 2009, 02:13:10 AM
I'm just jumping in here towards the end, only having read the last part. The writing is very evocative though, especially the way the character reacts to this lifestone thingy of his. I haven't seen any background at all, but I can grasp what it is and why it's important. I love seeing the vulnerability the character faces as it's imperiled, and as he trusts someone else with it; it's so raw, and so familiar despite being part of a fantasy story.

Between that and the reference to planewalking, it reminds me more than a little of His Dark Materials. I loved how Pullman portrayed the Daemons in that story. What could have been just "magical pets" became dearer than life itself, anything happening to them being felt intensely by their owners. I mention that because this is the only other story I've read that made me feel that way about anything, and while you've probably mentioned it as an influence, like I said, I just jumped in here.

Add me to the list of furs constantly poking you to update it. >.>b

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Virmir

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Reply #58 on: October 01, 2009, 07:53:50 PM
Thanks for the comments, folks. [:)

Feather:  Never heard of that story, but sounds interesting. *notes to look it up later*

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Reply #59 on: October 01, 2009, 08:26:59 PM
IIRC, thats part of a Series of Books, of which 'The golden compass' is a part of. ]:)

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