Author Topic: The Hypnotic Suit  (Read 5260 times)

William Swiftfoot

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on: April 05, 2012, 09:33:26 PM
This is a trade story done for Tails230 of DA/FA about a prototype cosplay outfit that...well...decides Chris would look much better in it's skin.

----

The Hypnotic Suit

   The sound of the Pokemon battle success music played as Chris’ battle completes. The three tailed fox smiled, and had his trainer wade more through the grass, looking for another Pokemon to fight. A loud knock was heard on the door as he moved the trainer out to the road. Looking up, the fox stepped to the door, and opened to find a large shipment box at the door. Picking up the box, Chris walked it over to a couch and set it down.

   Opening the box, Chris looked at the contents with a curious smile, as he found within it a fuzzy black and red suit. Picking up the suit, the fox inspects it. In his hands, he can see that the suit has a short triangular face, and a short fluffy tail. Its large sky blue eyes and canine like face told him it resembled that of the Pokemon Zorua.

    As Chris inspects the suit some more, he spied a piece of paper in the box. Picking it up, he reads:

   “Congratulations, you have been selected to test out our new brand of cosplay outfit, Pokewow, natural looking outfit that once you wear you’ll swear you’re the real thing. As part of this test, we have granted you a copy of the suit to wear, and all you have to do is check in with us in 90 days. Enjoy!”

   “Cool!” Chris went as he put the note down and picked up the suit and felt it. The cloth felt very natural, even thought it definitely was synthetic. The suits fur was very soft, and the nose strangely cold to the touch. The paw pads were rubbery and the claws while dull, were very pointy, showing the quality of the outfit.

   With a bright smile, Chris started slipping the cosplay suit on. It was a struggle at first, as his three tails were a bit of a challenge fitting into one, but once that was done, he found the body of the suit slipped on like a glove. Pulling the suit over his body, he smiled contently, the suits soft feel being rather comfy.

   Zipping the suit up, the Kitsune pulled the mask over his head, when suddenly something pricked him. “OW” he cried, and felt something in the mask move. Surprised, he turned to a mirror and smiled, and saw the the mask smile back at him, as if it was really his face. “This is awesome” he said, as he wagged his tail and moved it about, his mind wondering what he could do with the suit in 3 months time, and how grand it would be to play a Zorua.

   After prancing around a bit, Chris slowly took it off with a slight bit of tug and pull. He found that taking the head off was the hardest part, as it felt like the hood part of it was latching onto his skull. Some careful tugging was all it took although to pop it off, and with a simple smile, Chris put the suit back into the box and headed on with his day.

   That night, Chris dreamed a strange dream. He felt himself walking through a forest searching for something. Passing his way through branch and bramble, he felt him mind wandering as if he was looking for someone or something, when he heard a giggle. Turning about, he saw a small Zorua standing beside him.

   Confused, Chris looked to her curiously, and said “Umm. Hi”
   The Zorua giggled again as he said that. “Why hello there silly.” It said as it playfully approached. “Your cute you know.” she said quietly.
   “Th-thanks” Chris replied with a slight blush.
   
   “But I bet your even cooler in your normal shape.” the Zorua continued.
   “N-Normal shape?”
   “Yea, you know, like me. C'mon, why don't you change back?” her voice seeming to echo as she says these words.
   “Change back? But I'm not a Zorua, I'm me.”
   
   The Zorua giggled at this. “Your so silly, C'mon you know you want to.” her voice began to echo again. Chris felt his eyes getting droopy within the dream, and begins to fall, when he hears a loud BEEEP.

   Chris groans and rises out of bed. Hitting the alarm, he gets up and starts to get ready for school. As he washes his face, Chris thought about the dream, especially the strange ending. What stuck out at him, was who was talking to him through most of the dream, and how it reminded him a little of his suit. Packing his bags, he gave one look at the box with the suit inside, and headed off.

   The School day went well, with Chris having a good time at Recess playing with his friends, and learning some good things from his teachers. Returning home, Chris quickly put his stuff down and headed over to the suit. Picking it up, he smiled and quickly put the suit on. Moving around a bit and doing his best to make his tails wag smoothly as one, he giggled and looked over himself again in a mirror. Seeing the smashing looking Zorua staring back at him, Chris smiled. Perhaps it was time to have a little fun with this, he thought and headed out the door to the local park.

   Sneaking into the park wasn't troublesome at all, as Chris remembered some of the hidden spots and shortcuts that could get him there. Giggling, the costumed Kitsune found himself a large bush to crouch in and scouted the place. Around him, he could see kids playing, parents talking, and lovers kissing on a nearby bench. Seeing the two on the bench, Chris smiled and stealthily snuck over. As the two were about to come together and kiss again, the Kitsune pushed the leg of the bench, causing the guy to topple over on the girl, ruining the moment and causing them to begin to argue. Laughing, Chris ran off and back to his house, feeling rather successful.

   That night, costume away and quietly in bed, Chris began having the dream again. Finding his way back to where he had been before wasn't a problem, and within a couple minutes, he arrived at the meeting place, to which she was waiting for him.

   Smiling, the Zorua came up to him, with a slight look of concern. “I see you still haven't changed back. Whats causing you to hold on to this illusion?” She asked.
   “I still don't know what your talking about” Chris replied. “This isn't any sort of Illusion, this is me.” he pouts.
   The Zorua looks at him a little flabbergasted. “You...really think that’s your real self?” she asked to which Chris nodded. The little Pokemon then sighed. “Well then, my cause is lost.” she says and starts to walk away. Chris attempts to walk after her, but the forest suddenly begins to move and swing, causing Chris to trip and fall. By the time he is able to get up, she is all but gone.

   The night passes quietly, and Chris woke the next morning confused about what it meant. Getting up, and washing he face, he looks over to the suit and wondered what it would be like if he walked around the school with it on. Worst they could do after all was  tell him to take it off or send him home, and the latter would just give him more time to play. Smiling, the Kitsune suited up, and then headed out the door.

   Strange looks followed the Zorua costumed Kitsune as he walked down the hall. Chris smiled at this, and was about to walk into his class, when he is tapped on the shoulder. Turning around, he found one of the school administrators looking at him rather cross.

   “Young man, I don't know what sort of joke your trying to pull but I need you out of that costume now.” The admin says to him with a stern look.
   
   “What costume? This is the real me.” Chris said with a chuckle.
   
   The administrator looked at him confusedly, but just smiled. “Well Mr Zorua, as far as I can tell, your not registered at this school. So I will kindly ask you once, either take off the suit so you become a student of this school, or leave the premises at once.”

   “But I am a student!” Chris retorted, and was looked on with rage. Picked up by the scruff of the neck of the costume, the administrator forcefully carried him out the door as other students laughed at him.

   “And don't come back with that suit on!” The administrator yelled as she slammed the door.
   
   Chris grumbled as he walked home. While he understood why he got tossed out, he was not happy at all with how it happened. In his mind, he knew something had to be done. What exactly however, he didn't know, but he wondered what sort of pranks he could pull. Such thoughts were still on his mind as he headed to sleep that night, and entered into another dream.

   As he enters the dream, he noticed he was in the same dream he was in the last time. Remembering the path he slowly walked the path he remembered from before, and soon found himself sitting in front of the rocks where he met the Zorua, although the Zorua was no where to be found. Sighing he called for her “Hello! Miss Zorua!” but got not reply.

   Hoarse of voice and tired of trying, the Kitsune was just about to leave the place when he heard a reply. “Alright, Alright, what do you want? I thought you had told me your true self was the guise you were in now.”

   “Well, yes” he says somewhat uncomfortably. “But I was wondering if I could get your help with something. I was utterly embarrassed at school, and you being a Trickster...”

   “You want me to help you get back at them.” The Zorua sighed. “Fine, but if I do that, you have to at least have to try to become a Zorua.”

   Chris sighed “Ooookay” he says, thinking this about it being a dream after all.

   “Alright then, then all you need to do is...” and she whispers some ideas into his ear, to which he gingerly nods. A few nods later, the Zorua stops and looks at him and says, “alright, what you need to do is...” was all that he got out before the alarm goes off again.

   Chris groans as the alarm went off, but then blinked and realized
 he had memorized the Zorua's plans. Getting up, he giggled and quickly suited up for “school”.

   An hour later, the school day had begun when there was a sudden scream. From out of the girls bathroom came several students, with a swarm of ants following them. As the kids run down the hall, there is a sudden explosion from Chris's homeroom. The teacher came out covered in shaving cream. As she did, the sprinklers suddenly comes on, causing everyone to start running, as a few people scream “CHRIS!”

   Laughing back at home, Chris smiled as the massive prank he pulled, and thought about what he could do next, the suit laying beside him. This was cut off when there was a sudden bang at the door, and he looked in horror a voice.

   “Chris, this is the police, we need you to come to the door.” the voice said, to which Chris was starting to panic. What was he going to do, he couldn't run like this, they knew who he was, even in the costume, what was he going to do?

   As he stood there thinking, there suddenly was a voice in his head.

   I can get you out, just return to us. The voice said.
   “But...” Chris tried to argue.
   Return to us...   

   Return to us... The voice began to repeat in his head. His head grew light and his eyes begin to feel like their spinning, and his body fell under the voices control. Walking over to the suit, he slowly puts it on. First the legs, then the arms, then the body, and ending with the head. As he puts the head on, there is a sudden snap, and clatter, as all the fasteners from the suit fell to the floor, and Chris's body collapsed to the ground with it asleep. The Kitsune's body begins to rapidly shrink as the suit slowly collapses, muscles and bone break and refuse. His tails slowly fuse together as they become one broad tail, filling in the tail of the suit. The suit having stopped shrinking, the new Zorua wakes and looks around confused. The room looked rather alien to him, and very strange.

   The look of confusion was changed to fear, as he hears the banging at the door. Looking around, the Zorua scampered towards where he thinks is the back door, and with a few sudden clicks, opens it and rad for the closest stand of trees.

   As the Zorua is running, a small robotic camera watches him, and chirps “Experiment complete, subject has completely become a Pokemon.” As it finished its chirping it flashed as it collected its response, and flew away.



Virmir

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Reply #1 on: April 10, 2012, 08:39:15 PM
Kenku, Kenku, Kenkuuuuuu...

Please do the following:

Find an index card.

Write on it, "You're = you are"

Write below that, "Your -> possessive"

TAPE it to your monitor. [;)

Typoing in chat is no big deal and can (and should) be ignored, but stories are a whole other thing.  You should have this figured out by now. [;)

You are also still flopping between past and present tense at places, so watch out for that.

That said, I do find suit TFs interesting, and I like how this one sort of played games with its host to try and get him to transform permanently.  Hopefully he never evolves! (This is the one that loses his tail in his evolved form, right? GAH!)

(Sorry if the above comes out harsh. I want you to do better because I like your stuff. [:))

[fox] Virmir


William Swiftfoot

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Reply #2 on: April 19, 2012, 08:09:10 AM
Sigh...and I had it proofed twice. It's a force of habit unfortunently in my writing, and why I try as hard as I can to get it proofed.

As for evo and all, if I actually continued this story, the company probably would of came to take the suit back, and yes, Zororark has no tail, just a big pony "Tail".



Virmir

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Reply #3 on: April 19, 2012, 08:08:21 PM
I have the exact same problem mixing up "wondered" and "wandered" to the point that I will gloss over the mixups knowing full well what both words mean and when to use them.  What I do (or did rather when I was writing more) is simply make it part of the post-writing routine to do a search for every specific instance of the words and check to make sure they are used correctly in each case (as opposed to trying to catch them when re-reading).  I think this would be a good tactic for you to do with "your" at the end of each story.

Good luck! [:)

[fox] Virmir