Crimson Flag Comic Forums
Other Realms => Writer's Guild => Topic started by: Aira Fox on July 21, 2012, 12:13:14 AM
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So, I've post my story Soul / Link here on the forums. I'll upload the original documents here, but for those of you who prefer FA text copies, I'll link those as well.
Soul / Link is a an idea that I originally wrote for a scrapped webcomic idea. However, since I enjoyed the story to it, I decided to write it out after changing quite a few things. I hope to one day make it into a webcomic or comic again, but for now it shall remain as a simple story.
Soul / Link is a story that follows Ko (Kasali Ossiran) the Luos and his adventures in a world that is the reverse of ours (land and sea are reversed on the map). Ko awakens in an unfamiliar location without any memory of what had happened to him. After realizing that a great trauma in his life was the cause of his memory loss, Ko embarks on a journey to discover what exactly happened to him. Along the way, he meets Tsavo, Velor, and Leria, three Luos who are the students of three Legendary Heroes that stood up to the Dark Lords of the land. Ko eventually decides to join them on their quest, hoping that they can help him with his amnesia. However, if a great trauma resulted in Ko's memory loss, does he really want to remember his past?
For those of you wondering what a Luos is, I will refer you to here: Information about the Luos! (http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3373455/) More about the Luos! (http://www.furaffinity.net/journal/3403066/)
Here are a couple profiles of Luos:
Ko the Luos (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/7799139/)
The Jaku "Brothers" (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8407935/)
I hope you enjoy!
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I wanted to point out that chapter 3 of Soul / Link has now been posted. This chapter is noticeably shorter than the last one.
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I read up to chapter 2 so far. Very nice start!
The world really seems like something you'd find in a video game, which makes the setup feel a little rough at first, but it's quite fun and grew on me as the story progressed. The plot becomes more intriguing as the story progresses, and there are some nice twists at the end of Chapter 2. Looking forward to reading chapter three (next week). [:)
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Chapter 4 of Soul / Link is now up!
FA Link: Soul / Link Ch. 4 (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/8790902/)
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Continuing to enjoy this. [:) Looks like there is an interesting conflict on the horizon. [;)
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After much delay, I've finally had a chance to sit down and write up chapters 5 and 6 of Soul / Link!
Due to the nature of these chapters, I'm going to have to rate them in the PG/PG-13 area. Chapter 5 especially falls on the darker side of things.
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Blast! Keep forgetting to post feedback. [;)
Great stuff! The action in chapter 5, particularly towards the end, does not disappoint! The transformation sequences are awesome. Really fun two chapters!
The guy commanding the army all by himself was a bit of a stretch for me. I would expect him to have subordinates to relay the orders to, who break off and order the troops in groups. Getting thousands of soldiers to orchestrate just by yelling at them is a little unbelievable.
Said it before-- but really love how the Luos grow and "adapt" as to their needs and environment. Having the "feral" water dragon was a nice touch.
The "reveal" in chapter 6 wasn't all that surprising-- but I think this was intentional since you hint at it quite a bit throughout the previous chapters. (I pretty much called it early on. [;)) Of course, you don't really depend on the reveal being a surprise to the readers, so it works!
The big bad being a super powerful ice wizard is so fitting-- ice is a horrible thing. [;)
If I would have an overall bit of feedback for the whole thing I would say that the story takes a biiiit to really get into. From Chapters 1-4 I'd say the story is "kinda cool" but nothing really amazing (which is why you may be having some trouble hooking people). You've got a cool setting and race set up, but it takes some time to get to know and feel for the characters, and the whole amnesia thing-- while you've got it working nicely-- is kiiiinda cliche. Chapter 5 though is when things start to get AWESOME. Keep at it! Definitely interesting in seeing how this pans out!
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Thanks for the feedback, Virmir! It is greatly appreciated. [:)
The guy commanding the army all by himself was a bit of a stretch for me. I would expect him to have subordinates to relay the orders to, who break off and order the troops in groups. Getting thousands of soldiers to orchestrate just by yelling at them is a little unbelievable.
This will likely be an issue I "correct" if I do decide to try and publish this. The idea is that every Luos in the army is a member of the Luos Enforcement Unit which Reimon is in charge of, so like a bunch of police officers being commanded by a sergeant, they're very much in-line. However, since they are from different units across the region, it'd make more sense to have some of the other leads give orders as well.
This is something I didn't really take into account until after posting. Since it was a short scene where it was just him, I didn't go through the process of thinking "Hey, maybe there's some Luos in the way back or way off to the sides that can't hear him!"
The "reveal" in chapter 6 wasn't all that surprising-- but I think this was intentional since you hint at it quite a bit throughout the previous chapters.
Nope! Not a surprise at all! Like you said, I'd been alluding to it since the first chapter. [;)
However, there is still much to the puzzle that needs solving, and that will seen soon enough. I'm hoping that when I really get into Ko's backstory, you'll be saying "Holy [insert expletive of your choice here]!"
The big bad being a super powerful ice wizard is so fitting-- ice is a horrible thing.
Heh! [:P Well, this one uses ice. The other not quite so much, but you'll be seeing him later.
Again, thanks for the feedback! It helps a lot, Virmir. Hope you look forward to the next chapter. [:)
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Well, I finally finished chapter 7 up. This chapter took so long because I just wasn't happy with how I wrote it and rewrote it a few times. I may still rewrite it again when this stupid writer's block goes away.
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Really fun exciting battle, as usual! This one didn't seem to stand out as much as the previous two chapters, but still enjoyed it. It looks like we're going to get some more answers soon. Looking forward to reading more!
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Well, here's chapter 8 of the story. I changed it up from my original idea because I felt the original was too dark. Should I publish it, I may switch back to the original idea.
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I rather enjoyed this change of pace. Flashbacks are always fun for main characters. There were indeed a few "Holy frazz!" moments in there as you said there would be, but I'm a sadistic person and do enjoy moments like those. [;)
Good twist at the end! Things are starting to fall into place. Looking forward to the next part, as always. [:)
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No new chapter yet, but I've now posted pics and bios for Time and Space on FA. Time and Space Bios (http://www.furaffinity.net/view/9797166/)
The bios give a bit more world history and the origin of the two Luos gods. I haven't ultimately decided if or when I'll throw their backstories into the main story. Time briefly mentions it in one chapter, but it's not something I go into depth on. This would be more of "About the World" side-story info thing.
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After much delay, chapter 9 is finished. It took me much longer to finish this than it should've, though long hours at work have been mostly to blame for that. I hope you all enjoy it!
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Enjoyed this, as usual! I like how Time doesn't turn out to be anything like what you imagine him to be earlier in the story. Also really like the sense of forbodingness where even though they've defeated one enemy, the next one is going to be way tougher and much more is at stake. Confronting inner-self was cheesy at the end, but it's the good sort of cheesy I've come to expect. Looking forward to the next part!
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It only took 3 months, but here's the long awaited 10th chapter! [:) Soul / Link has about 5 or 6 chapters remaining after this one, though that may change.
Enjoy!
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I like the blind water mage sensing the world around her through rain. Thought that was a cool touch. Kind of sounds like you're setting up a third villain-boss here, or at least trying to lead us in that direction. [;)
Looking forward to the next part!
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After my bout with writer's block, I've finished the next chapter of Soul / Link. I knew this particular chapter would cause me a headache, as it was the one chapter of the story I hadn't fleshed out completely. I had to revise it a number of times to get me to be happy with it. Fortunately I have the remaining chapters and the epilogue all fully planned out, so they should be much easier to write.
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I've always liked the concept of scary things lurking in forests. What's an epic adventure without going through one of these? [;)
Do wonder where you're going with the friendly wraith thing and also making the prediction that combining the dark magic is going to be pivotal in the upcoming battle. Looking forward to the next part, as always!
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After a long battle with busyness and being unable to write due to other things, chapter 12 is here!
A note regarding future updates:
I will not be posting chapter 13 until I've finished both chapters 13 and 14. These are two chapters best read together, and it would be wrong of me to give you one without the other. These chapters will both be on the longer side, probably 2-3x the length of this one each. I'd prefer not post either of these until I've finished Soul / Link, but depending on how long it takes me to write them, I may post them both as soon as I finish.
That being said, Soul / Link is approaching its end. The story has always been planned at 15 chapters + an epilogue. You'll see with the next chapter that it's not a case of rushing things. Everything is progressing at the speed I anticipated it would.
Anyway, enjoy!
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Looking good! Can sense things are winding down towards an epic end. Looking forward to what I assume will be the climax in the upcoming two chapters!
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After work and other issues hindering my progress, I've finally finished two of the longer chapters of this story. The next chapter will be the final chapter, followed a short epilogue.
I rated these chapters PG-13 for some borderline graphic violence.
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Read chapter 13! Awesome stuff so far! Will read next part next week. [:)
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Great climactic battle! This was a really fun and suspenseful culmination to the story. I enjoyed these chapters the whole way through, especially 14 (I have the ability to mentally block out gory parts, fortunately [;)) The villain seemed more realistic this time around, somehow more vulnerable and interesting due to heavily relying on his teleportation ability (though I do like Malasis better since I'm an evil overlord fan and he fit that role better). Really great downfall there. Looking forward to the conclusion!
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Final chapter and epilogue are now finished, and with that, Soul / Link is now over! Thanks everybody for reading! [:)
I plan and doing some revisions for a possible publication, but those will not be posted out in the open. For now, please enjoy!
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Congrats on making it to the end! It was a good ending, (complete with obligatory bleh mushy scene!). The story feels complete, but you also left things open for more which is good. Really enjoyed this story as a whole. Thanks for sharing!