Crimson Flag Comic Forums
Other Realms => Role Play Theater => Topic started by: Shifting Sands on June 11, 2012, 12:10:17 PM
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Kain rubs his knuckles, picks his teeth, and looks down at the fighters already assembled. "Oh, you two. Yeah, you look kinda boring. Have at it, I guess. GO!"
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Javed, who was busy wondering what was going on, who these people around him were, why he was where he is, and various other things when Kain spoke. It was enough to rip him from his train of thought. "H-hey!" he shouted at the demon...god...thing. "I am not boring!" Javed then looked over at his opponent, not even certain who he was facing. And also not certain as to what kind of name 'Erwin' is.
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Heavy clanks of armor echoed, as out of the contestant tunnel came a massively armored humanoid form, glistening with the brightest cyrstals and reeking magically of the most potent enchantments. It was a form meant to inspire fear, terror, intimidation and despair amongst those who faced it. It was meant to win half the battle for it's contestant by itself.
Erwin could probably be counted on to deliver only a tenth of that. Thlliak facepalmed behind his contestant as the armored boy stumbled forward, nearly tripping for the 4th time.
"It's too heavy!" the youth protested.
"Nonsense!" the demon exclaimed, using his best poker face. "Nothing to worry about my boy. You practically don't have to fight in this thing, just let the armor and your magically augmented strength do the fighting! And when in doubt, just use the spells I gave you!"
The youth shifted his visor'd gaze over to the demon. "Uh... Flamicus.. flame...what... um... what was the flame spell again?"
"Flamoricol Inkorthi'i of course kid!" he shouted quickly as he shooooved the armored pseudo-warrior forward, causing him to nearly stumble again.
"H-hey, I can't keep my balance as it is! How am I supposed to do any fighting in this thing!?" Erwin demanded.
"Just let the armor and the spells do the fighting kid!" Thliak repeated to for the fiftieth time.
"But you said that befo-"
"GO!" Came Kain's resounding boom that commenced the match.
Erwin spun his gaze back, just in time to witness Thliak bolt back into the tunnel as spiked gates rose between them, closing off the arena. The youth blinked, and gulped. He took a deep breath... and reached down for the glowing red mace at his right!... er... his left!
Snatching it in his cumbersome gauntlets, he YANKED it out!... only to send it flying from his grasp and land it two feet in front of the two-legged kommodo dragon's feet.
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Javed just stared blankly at his opponent, his face seemingly unable to produce an expression worthy of showing his emotions. After a short while of staring, all he could say was a flat "...You're kidding, right." Clearing his throat, he did the one thing a warrior-in-training could possibly do in this situation.
Lecture him.
"You've never even wielded a weapon your whole life, have you? Or even worn armor at all? You're as clumsy as an easily-distracted hatchling." He then picked up the glowing mace and looked it over. "And this? A club with a spiked ball on the end? And why is it red and glowing, what's the purpose of that?" He tossed the mace to his pathetic 'opponent' and pulled a javelin from the bag slung across his back. "I get by just fine with simple weaponry. No need to amaze your opponents with bright lights. And then there's your armor! Not only do you not seem trained at all in heavy armor, but look at it! Crystals may be hard, but on that set, they seem more like jewelry than protection. In fact, why are you wearing heavy armor and wielding a mace when you're fighting me, a lightly armored opponent with ranged weaponry? Do you realize how poor of planning this is on your part? It's sickening how some people just grab a weapon, put on some armor, and call themselves a warrior. I have been training to be a warrior since I could walk. You obviously have not had the prior experience I had. Should I continue going on like this, or let you flail that mace around in a vague attempt to attack me?"
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Erwin stared at the... creature in front of him. While he had been told to prepare for strange sights, the reality of being in front of a talking lizard wasn't a thing he had quite prepared him for. Such was the preponderance the critique in his tone, that it was clear this was someone very used to lectures. Typical of someone in training.
And he went on... and on. And on! Dear god this guy was like a Teaching Assistant, blathering his mouth off and barely stopping to take a breath it sounded like. Instantly Erwin found himself thinking of college classes, sitting up near the front listening to the TAs yapping and blabbing and lecturing on about crap more than they knew how to actually practice it, just there yammering their mouths off...
But this time Erwin realized he had weapons at his disposal.
Screaming with years of pent up frustration at his tertiary education, he stomped forward and charged with all the suit-agumented strength he could muster to punch Javed right in the schnoz!
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Javed faltered at the charge, not quite done with lecturing the newbie warrior, but managed to push himself out of the way and put some distance between himself and Erwin, pulling a javelin out of the bag just in case. "You're making it way too obvious when you're going to attack. And why scream in rage? I'm just pointing out the numerous things wrong with how you're approaching this. Look, if you want, I'll give you a demonstration of how to properly attack. If you feel like you don't need one, then you're just being over-ambitious. Also, you're not even using a weapon. If you have one at your disposal, it's better than just your fist. And again, I'm lightly-armored. You're slow-moving. This isn't going to work out in your favor. String-limbed hatchling."
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Erwin collected himself, pulling his balance back and glaring knives at the lizard and he gushing lecture. "Oh yeah!? Well... your fly's undone!"
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Javed blinked, pushing himself out of fighting stance and standing upright, allowing himself to wear a quizzical expression. "What is my fly, and how is it undone?"
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This prompted Erwin to similarly stop, dumbfounded for a second, as he slowly realized that he wasn't exactly in Kansas anymore, and the lingo probably wasn't the same. "Wait, that probably wouldn't make sense..."
A frown crossed his face as he looked down in contemplation. "Wait, how does everyone here know English?" he asked to his boots stupefied as he left himself totally open.
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Javed blinked again. "English? What's that?"
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"Erm... it's my language, silly lizard!" the ill-armored human responded.
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Javed just stared before his expression changed from confused to anger. He stomped up to the clueless human and poked at said human's armored chest with the blade of the javelin he was holding. "How dare you have the audacity to call me a lizard, you shiny-armored baboon! After I tell you all that you're doing wrong, you insult me! You ungrateful, unchivalrous whelp! You unscaled primate! You dimwitted ignoramus!"
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"Baboon? Ignoramus??" Erwin repeated the words, unable to keep agitation from his voice as he took a taller threatening stance and glaaared knives. "Hey, watch your tongue you slithering sweatless... erm, egg layer!" he shouted, not quite sure if just listing reptilian anatomy was a good insult but went with it nonetheless.
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Javed just snarled and glared back. "I am not an egg layer! Are you calling me feminine, you flat-toothed fool?"
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"Well... maybe I am, slime-tongue! You certainly lecture and go on jib-jabbering enough like a woman! Dear god you sound like my sister, so much talk and smug big-headedness that if you hopped on a boat it'd sink from the weight!"
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"How dare you insult me! You've never had fighting experience in your life, you overconfident monkey!"
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Kain groans and tosses a wine cup at Javed's head. "This isn't a 'YO MAMA' contest! Get on with it already!"
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Javed, unable to react in time, got hit in the head with the cup. "Ow! Hey, it's not my fault that this monkey wants to have an insult match!"
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Suddenly, perhaps very stupidly and recklessly, Erwin saw his chance. It's not like he was ever going to get a better distraction as he CHARGED at the komodo dragon, screaming like a madman (and half at himself for his mad idea!)
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Javed blinked in surprise at the sound of screaming, getting over his shock as quickly as possible and pushing himself up into the air, attempting to jump over Erwin. However, he jumped too late, the lower parts of his legs being hit by Erwin and causing him to tumble in mid-air, landing on his side behind the human. He shook his head and gave an icy glare at the heavily-armored fool. He was also busy glaring at himself inside, for being hit by such a wreckless and stupid attack. "It's quite rude to interrupt a conversation. And to nearly shatter my shins and calves."
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Ok, now this lizard was just trying to MAKE himself contemptible. Erwin held his legs out like a Sumo wrestler, thudding the ground with his heavy armor (grateful that it was so enchanted because otherwise he couldn't move inside it if his life depended on it!). "Well, clearly I shoulda' hit you harder booger lips!" He leapt at Javed as the reptile was trying to pick himself off his side from the ground.
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"I don't even know what that means!" Javed shouted as he rolled out of the way of Erwin's leap, shoving himself up and hopping back several meters, pulling out a javelin due to having dropped the one he had out before.
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Kain snaps his fingers and giggles maniacally as zippers appear over both of the fighter's lips. "NOW SHUT UP AND FIGHT! GODS!"
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Javed blinked at the metal thing on his mouth and attempted to open it, muffledly muttering something while doing so.
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Slapping at his mouth in surprise, Erwin forgot that he was wearing both armored gauntlets as well as a heavy helmet that provided an opening only for his visor, resulting in a loud clang. Growling at his sudden predicament (and mindful of the sudden possibility that it would now be painfully easy for him to not be able to get enough breath, what with all the exertion going on if he was denied the possibility of gasping through his mouth for air), he decided this contest better end as quick as possible. He ran forward to dive at his red-glowing mace which still lay on the ground.
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Javed just grumbled before jumping over Erwin, landing behind him before quickly twirling around and jumping onto his back while his opponent grabs the mace.
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An irritated "MMMMPHH!" escaped Erwin's divinely zippered mouth as he *thunk* *thunk* spun around in his metallic boots, eyes trying in vain to fasten on the nimble komodo dragon that had just lept right on top of him; weren't komodos supposed to be lumbering and slow!? Aaaaargh!
Grunting and gritting his teeth behind the inconvenient zipper, he gripped the mace tightly and tried to swing over backwards to smash the annoying pest perched on his back like some lumbering overweight bird! Oooh he was going to SMASH this dumb lizard good if he got the chance! He pondered, then remembered all those spells Thliak had tried to teach him quick. Wasn't one of them supposed to be dragon strength?...
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Javed pulled out another javelin, annoyed that he had just been dropping them so far, and proceeded to stab at anything that looked like a hole in human's bulky armor.
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A BLISTERING arc of electricity sizzled through Erwin as he felt one of the many cyrstals adorning the armor Thliak gave him crackle with arching energy, even as he tried to remember the chants for the dragon strength spell. The zipper certainly wasn't helping anything at all in trying to enunciate speaking a spell clearly, and the giant lizard on his back was DEFINITELY screwing things up!
He flailed about some as the komodo JABBED at the crystals, making him tingle all over and his tongue convulsed! Darn it! He fumbled the words "Mmmph"ing out of his zippered mouth!
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Javed ignored what the human was trying to do and kept stabbing at any holes in the armor, focusing on the neck area more than anywhere else.
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"MMMMPHHHMPHHMPHHH!" Erwin screamed, by which he meant "Stop that you're going to make things go all screwy for both of us!" Of course this imploration was utterly indecipherable so went entirely unheeded as Javed HAMMERED and JABBED at the crystal sandwiched right between his helmet and his main armorpiece, producing cracks and miniature arcs of lightning!
Growling fiercely, Erwin started shouting the botched mess of an incantation through his sealed mouth, not caring for how much he was tripping over the words as trapped magical crystal energy started lashing out, tickling at the surrounding arena stands as both fighters felt a strange tingling in their bodies...
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Javed just blinked at the tingling, stopping his attacks for a moment to wonder what's going on.
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Blast it! That stupid lizard was messing everything else with that jabbing of his!! He took a swipe backwards at the reptile which all too easily was evaded by his ridiculously nimble opponent. Giving up on the dragon strength spell, which he had NO idea the progress of, tried to remember the words of the flame spell! Better he light everything within 20 feet aflame then let that dunderhead keep cracking open his crystal armor!
He tried to muffledly speak the words; he could actually for once almost remember them clearly! "Ffffmmrreecpf Imkeemph!" he managed to press through his absurdly zippered lips, JUST as the komodo's javlin crashed though his neck crystal to a loud energetic shattering.
A shaking ensued, as both Erwin and Javed started to feel as if their own flesh was quaking; both felt their teeth rattle as a swirling blue glow split into red and green before enveloping the both of them whole. Great!! Now what had the stupid lizard done!?
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Javed squirmed around, confused as to what was going on and annoyed that it's getting in the way of his success in getting through part of the blasted armor.
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Erwin suddenly had a brutally intense itch. He reached onto his side to scratch... and felt relieaved. But.. wait, he had just scratched his armor!
He spun his helmet back as the red and green glow swiiiiirled around him and the komodo, as strange feelings and senses flooded his mind, and he felt like he was feeling strange things, like two heartbeats! This was just crazy, just totally bonkers.
And that was when he felt the feeling of a tail behind him!? He snapped around and there was one, sticking out of him! It was... Javed's!?? Then why was he feeling it??? And... HOW had he been nimble enough in this cumbersome armor to even spin around like that? That's when he noticed Javed's legs and lower torso merging with his.
"MMMMMMPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
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"MMMMMMPHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!"
Javed had managed to mimic that sound fairly well while attempting to get away from his opponent, not able to understand what was happening nor why it was happening.
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Loud SNAPS of crackling vertebrate jiggled up to their skulls as the their spines began to fuse, as their frantic, panicked movements soon coallesced into one; ONE movement of their legs as the komodo's scales raced over and consumed them both. Erwin and Javed stomped their feet around chaotically, as the claws began to surge, buckling their feet and trampling on the komodo's torn leather armor.
The heavy armor Erwin wore, by contrast, was practically melting into the the two contestants, squeezing them together and mashing them... and making them bigger! Both minds not only had to deal with the other attempting to control the same set of legs, but balance saw fit to vacate both as the stumbled and fell face-first into the dirt. Upon picking themselves up they found their shoulders mere inches apart, as their breath shortened and made itself scarce as their lungs started merging, and their lightheadedness sapped their concentration as their hearts mingled, intertwining and soon beating with one purpose.
Through it all Erwin screamed through his sealed mouth so loudly that he couldn't even tell if his co-victim was screaming too; though the new senses pinging into his mind left a disconcertingly sure impression that he was; he could feel the... OTHER head demanding air from his lungs! Cracks and pops issued as their shoulders bled into each other, as Erwin lost his left arm and Javed his right. The armor cause both their remaining arms to turn dark green with thick scales.
Soon all that was left of the armor was Erwin's helmet, which quickly started melting around him, obscuring the world and even his body from his mind for one terrifying instant. Then... the sensation of his elongating neck rushed through him, as he almost cried in joy that their necks at least weren't merging. And... to his surprise he DID cry in joy! His lengthening snout had popped the zipper clean off, and in the corner of his eye Javed's face was shifting to a similar shape as his own, away from his old komodo form...
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Kain blinks at the new single contestant, and sighs a little. "This hasn't happened before... strangely enough. But Erwin was apparently the one responsible for it, so... I guess... he wins? Headaches..." He sighs and waves a servant down with the tray of relics, the rose, mirror, and beads left.
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Blinking, Erwin struggled to cope with the overwhelming flood of... the rough scrape of his tail against the ground, the light warming his new green scales, his heavy set all-fours stance, his elongated neck and the snout that greeted him when he looked down cross-eyed, and oh yes-the other mind that was sharing the body with him and moving things about
Javed stared back, aghast; his komodo body was gone. Yes he had scales and was crudely similar, but he was now this huge lumbering beast that was literally of two minds. And he had to share it with an IDIOT no less!!
"Uuuuuuugh" both of them intoned at once, before snapping to the side to exchange horrified glances; they weren't what one could call a hive mind, but it seemed eerily like they were on the same page.
They both spotted the servant marching up nonchalantly and depositing a tray in front of them. "Wait... what is this?" Erwin stuttered, trying to digest what had happened, still MASSIVELY confused...
Javed, however, poured his memory over what had been said "H-hey! Are you saying this human won!? I was the one who incapacitated him was moments away from striking the finishing blow! Are you blind??"